#discau

When Lan Yang did not deny poisoning Guo Lei, it was Lan Cenrong who killed him for Qiu Baiti, because he knew that if Gusu Lan found out, they could hunt her down for killing their elder. However, little did he know that Qiu Baiti had learned of another revelation from Cangse. Cangse, through her shifu Baoshan, knew Guo Lei as another person all together. Guo Lei was not only a genius, but he was ruthless, and wild, and knew no shame or restraints. Many, many cultivators, mostly rogues, had died by his hands along his path of discovery and innovation. The core melting technique was invented only through experimentation on live subjects. Baoshan herself had been ready to confront and end Guo Lei when she learned that a cultivator of Gusu had beat her to it.

Knowing this, Qiu Baiti rushed to tell Lan Cenrong only to find that he'd already done the unimaginable. Qiu Baiti fell before the dying Lan Yang and asked him why he didn't just tell Cenrong the truth, but Lan Yang calmly confessed that he had never forgiven himself for doing what he did to Guo Lei. He had loved Guo Lei beyond reason but knew he had to be stopped. On their last night together, Lan Yang had poisoned Guo Lei's wine hoping that it would put an end to everything. He didn't think Guo Lei's cultivation would be so great that he could survive.

"I should have died with him then, go with him, keep him company in the after life, but I was a coward. I've been a coward for too long. This...this is what I deserve. What I owe him."

Qiu Baiti blamed herself for what she had made Lan Cenrong do, so when the Lan disciples arrived, she'd made it seem like she was the one who killed Lan Yang. Cangse, realizing the immense fuck-up, offered to take Qui Baiti somewhere safe, to her shifu's temple perhaps, but Baiti soon learned that she was already with child and made the decision to stay.

"This is his child, and it could be a boy. I can't take the baby with me...that would be too cruel to Rong-gege, and I'd already hurt him so much. I will stay. Whatever happens, I'll stay."

Zhao Zhuliu went to Qishan to look for shelter as per his shijie's instruction. The Wens took him in.

Years later, Qiu Baiti proposed to the elders that if she was able to cull her own cultivation, as in melt her own core, that she be allowed out of her confinement and live normally with her family. The elders agreed. Qiu Baiti succeeded, but the process of melting one's own core had never been attempted before, and it resulted in a cataclysmic destabilization of her qi, and she died in the process. Due to the violent nature of her death and the state of her remains, her sons were not allowed to see her.

Cangse and Lan Cenrong tried to save her but to no avail, and injured themselves in the process. It was due to this depletion in her spiritual reserve that Cangse eventually succumbed to an unexpectedly powerful demon during a night-hunt.

Zhao Zhuliu had learned of this incident and came as soon as he could, but the travel from Qishan was long and laborious and by the time he arrived at Cloud Recesses, Qiu Baiti had already been buried.

2. Carbon in the Steel Dark!Lan brother au #1: The Core-Melting Hand is a very discreet, very small, very deadly organization of assassins. Mama Lan and Zhao Zhuliu are their last disciples and paid by a Lan elder to take out another Lan elder. Papa Lan, in the dark about this whole thing, tracked her down. After he learned the truth, he tried to fix the wrong but found the corruption within his sect too deeply rooted. Disillusioned, he decided to help Mama Lan escape, and ran away with her to live a normal life. Unfortunately, they were discovered years later. Both Qingheng-jun and Madam Lan died, while Zhao Zhuliu escaped with Lan Huan and Lan Zhan, whom he raised and passed on the core-melting technique.

3. Remnant Dark! Lan Brothers au #2: Qingheng-Jun and Madam Lan ran away together, but was discovered years later. This time, the Lans brought their sons - a toddler Lan Huan and a newborn Lan Zhan - back to Cloud Recesses. Lan Huan pretended he didn't remember anything, but he actually did, and over the years he slowly indoctrinated his little brother with ideas of vengeance. The two of them also wanted to use the Yin Iron to amass power and avenge their parents. When the Wens attacked, as per canon, Lan Huan and Lan Zhan took the opportunity to launch a mass-killing spree within CR, eliminating all the elders and their uncle Lan Qiren. This is a sad, sad, au.

As a rule, Cloud Recesses didn’t enjoy weddings. 

Weddings were loud, rowdy, crowded, filled with alcohol and red. Everything that Cloud Recesses was not. Since his father’s unorthodox marriage, the last grand wedding had been during his grandparents’ time, and obviously, way before Lan Xichen was even a thought in his parents’ mind. 

Still he had to admit, despite some of their more-than-mild panics early on in the planning process, the day went by without a glitch. Now, with the hours edging dangerously close to xu-shi and most of their esteemed guests three sheets to the wind (courtesy of Yunmeng’s seemingly endless supply of liquor for which the Grand Master and the Elders gave special dispensation on this one occasion), it was time for him and his groom to retreat to their private suite for... some much deserved alone time. 

It was practically an open secret in Cloud Recesses that the First Jade knew exactly how to walk the crevices between the three thousand rules carved in stone. Compared to his little brother, he was much more amenable to the human experience. The more daring disciples would even go so far as to whisper amongst themselves that Sect Masters Nie and Lan had been intimately close during their youth, before they matured into their responsibilities and decided to frame their relationship within the simple lines of sworn brotherhood. 

There was nothing awkward about growing up; Lan Xichen was comforted to know. Across the hall, Nie Mingjue gave him a look full of meaning. 

Go on, you know what’s coming next. 

If there were ever a person more excited about Lan Xichen getting hitched than all the closet-romantics at Cloud Recesses, it was his Da-ge. 

Don’t drink too much, you still have to show xiao-Wei a good time. 

Da-ge, can you not -

The bastard had the audacity to smirk. 

But...looking around the room, Lan Xichen realized through his alcohol-induced haze (just wee bit of drink, it’s okay) that his new husband was nowhere to be seen. 

Five minutes and a round of searching later, he found out why. 

Out in courtyard where the the festivities of the banquet hall faded to a faint hum in the background of a calm summer night,Wei Wuxian leaned against the railing of the pavilion. From where he stood, Lan Xichen could hear his easy laughter. 

His dark doe eyes waned into crescents, and his cheeks were colored a pretty pink from alcohol and mirth. Undoubtedly, Wei Wuxian was a beautiful young man, and if Lan Xichen was honest with himself, there was a healthy dose desire coiling deep in his belly at the sight of him. 

But then...his gaze drifted to the other side of the railing, where a figure in white and blue stood bathed in the moonlight. 

Oh?

Lan Xichen blinked. 

To another person, Lan Wangji did not appear any different than his usual self. If pressed, they would say he looked a tad annoyed. But Lan Xichen was not just another person. To him, his brother’s face was open, guilelessly and uncertain. His eyes were widened, just incrementally, and his lips barely parted. 

Wangji’s gaze was fixed upon the young man next to him - his new brother-in-law - who had his head thrown back laughing at whatever words they had exchanged prior to Lan Xichen’s arrival. 

Oh...

Wei Ying, Xichen read the words from Wangji’s lips. The sidepiece of your guan is eschew. 

Wei Wuxian’s response was much louder, so it was heard clearly even across the courtyard. 

“Oh shi- where? where?” He straightened from his slouch, a hand flying up to his hair. “Fix it, fix it for me, won’t you?”

Oh! 

Lan Xichen watched in shock as his little brother reached up and adjusted the delicate gold surrounding Wei Wuxian’s top knot. 

Wangji, you...

Wei Wuxian fiddled with the hem of his sleeve, holding still as Wangji re-pinned the piece. “I have to go see your brother soon,” he said. “Madam Yu explicitly ordered that everything has to be perfect tonight or else it’s bad luck.” 

At his words, Wangji’s hands paused, the openness of his face retreating instantly behind his mask of cool poise. He lowered his eyes. 

"Xiong’fu, it’s late,” said his brother, taking a step back to bow. “I should leave you now. Congratulations again, and...welcome to Cloud Recesses.” 

Before either of them could see, Lan Xichen drew himself behind a pillar. He leaned there for a long time, processing all that he had witnessed and the options he was left with. 

When they were young, Lan Xichen was always the one showered with gifts and presents by delegates of other sects, what with his being the Lan heir and such. And Wangji... well, Wangji always got - what did the disciples call it, ah yes - first dips on all of Lan Xichen’s goods. One, because Lan Xichen loved his little brother more than life itself, but also because Wangji knew exactly how to use that baby pout the older Lan could never say no to. 

Lan Wangji eventually grew out of this habit once they hit double digits, and he definitely loved and respected his older brother too much to attempt anything untoward of this nature. That much, Xichen was certain. Still, it didn’t help that he felt the reflexive need to push the plate of pastries - a once in a blue moon treat for children of Cloud Recesses - across the table so little Wangji could have it first. It was a residual instinct left from his childhood days, and he simply couldn’t help it.  

Except...the pastry wasn’t actually pastry but an attractive man named Wei Wuxian and his legally wedded husband. 

Well, thought Lan Xichen, shaking his head. This will certainly be interesting. 

As he put on his best face of ignorant bliss, he vaguely wondered what Nie Mingjue would say about his predicament. 

He could hear his laughter now. 

Damn. 

Jiang Yanli stormed through the front gates, a torrent of gold silk and coral chiffon. Not waiting for disciples to announce her, she aimed straight for the main hall.

 “A-die, a-niang!”

Her heart was in her throat. Oh, but she could already imagine her mother’s face. This could end badly in so many ways. If there was any truth to these rumours...she did not know how Gusu Lan dealt with such an infraction, but the Violet Spider would demonstrate to the world exactly why she was dubbed thusly. The stain upon Yunmeng and Lotus Pier, upon the Jiang family - there was not a doubt in Jiang Yanli’s mind that her mother would take it all out on Wei Wuxian. 

Impossible. Simply impossible. It can’t be true. A-Xian would never. He would never - 

Except maybe it was all true. It could be... because - because she herself had seen it, just weeks ago, at Jinlintai, at A-Ling’s one-month celebration - 

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, look, look how chubby he is, isn’t my nephew the cutest?”

“Mn. Very cute.” 

It should’ve been an innocent enough exchange, and it would’ve been, had she not seen the hand Lan Wangji laid against the small of A-Xian’s back as he leaned over his shoulder to peer down at the baby. Jiang Yanli, who had looked away briefly to instruct the wet-nurse to fetch a soother for A-Ling, had turned around to witness the hand caress her brother low along his spine, close to his tail bone. 

Heavens above, what if it’s true...

She was shocked to say the least. That should’ve been an inappropriate action for anyone who wasn’t Lan Xichen, and even if it were Lan Xichen, the placement of that hand was dangerously bordering on indecent! Though the garden at the time contained no one but them three and baby Rulan basking in their loving attention, they were still very much out in the open public. Any disciple or banquet guest could have come strolling through and seen! 

She had expected A-Xian to jerk, to flinch, to moved away and be offended by such a liberal gesture of familiarity and affection, but her brother didn’t move an inch. Instead, he turned and flashed Lan Wangji a smile that was as warm and bright as the morning sun. Graced with the potency of A-Xian’s joy, Lan Wangji’s whole countenance softened, from his eyes to his lips which curled ever so slightly at the corner into a gentle smile of his own.  

Yanli had told herself that it was nothing, that she was over thinking it, that it was a good thing that A-Xian was able to befriend the unapproachable Hanguang-jun. But now...

No... oh A-Xian, didi, what have you done... 

“Da-xiao’jie!” the maid exclaimed and curtsied to her as Jiang Yanli approached the doorway of the empty main hall. “Thank goodness you are here! Zong’zhu, fu’ren and shao’ye are all in an uproar!”   [ Da-xiao’jie - first young mistress, it’s a spoken honorific similarly used as ‘your ladyship’]

So words have reached Lotus Pier too...

Damage control, what she needed to do was damage control. She could do this. She was not Jin-shao-fu’ren, the future Lady of Lanling, for nothing. 

Jiang Yanli spun on her. “My parents, where are they?!” 

“In the Master’s study!” 

She followed the maid as they wound through Lotus Pier’s many boardwalk aisles and water gardens. Without realizing, the two of them quickened their pace to a trot then to a run when they heard Yu Ziyuan’s voice echoing from the distance.

“A-die, a-niang!” Jiang Yanli charged into her father’s study, interrupting her mother mid-tirade. “Something must be done about these abominable rumours circulating -” 

Yanli froze, one feet still on the other side of the threshold. The heart that had been skipping in her throat dropped instantly, free falling into the deepest, darkest pit of her gut where her suspicions hid all along.

Jiang Fengmian sat in his front of his work table, hunched over, his whole weight supported by the hand spanning his forehead. In his other hand was several sheets of paper - letters or missives by the look of it, Gusu Lan’s ink emblem just visible underneath his thumb.

Jiang Yanli had never seen her father so utterly defeated. 

Between her parents was her little brother, clearly in the middle of trying to calm down their mother, but was equally red in the face, and practically bristling like an enraged kitten. 

Upon her arrival, three pairs of eyes flicked simultaneously to the door. 

“A-Li.” The fury that seemed to evaporate from Madam Yu’s every pore tempered fractionally at the sight of her daughter. “What brings you home?” 

“What brings me -” Jiang Yanli gaped, glancing from her mother to her father to her brother. “The rumours about A-Xian -” 

Incensed instantly, Yu Ziyuan exclaimed, “How did you find out?!” 

Once, such a display would’ve cowed her without fail, but Jiang Yanli was no longer a child of timid disposition. Living in a pit of snakes had toughened her against all manners of the world’s assault. 

“I overheard my maids gossiping amongst themselves this morning. A-Xuan heard it from his cousins. I dare say even His Excellency and pomu would’ve heard of it by now.” [pomu 婆母 - husband’s mother] 

Jiang Yanli pursed her lips, feeling a sudden sense of unease over top the preexisting anxiety. “Was it supposed to be a secret?” 

Jiang Fengmian sighed, holding out the letter towards his children as if its mere existence appalled him. “A letter from Elders of Gusu Lan arrived this morning.”

Jiang Cheng took the sheets from their father, hesitating when Yanli strode up to him. “A-jie...”  

In the background, Madam Yu paced the length of her husband’s study, cursing under her breath.

"Thank goodness you have married and married well, A-Li,” She said. “Or else this boy's philandering ways would have ruined your prospects. As it is, A-Cheng -"

Swirling on his mother in an uncharacteristically brisk manner, Jiang Wangyin interjected loudly, "I don't care about prospects, a-niang! They had him whipped! Three hundred and one disciplinary lashes! How is he now? Is he even even - even alive?! Gusu Lan doesn’t tell us anything -"

“What?!” Jiang Yanli yanked the letter from Jiang Cheng’s hand, eyes darting back and forth as she bored over its contents. A moment later, she lowered it slowly, looking up at her brother whose distress mirrored her own, and then at their parents whose distress were for different reasons entirely, reasons she understood but could not empathize at all. 

The world suddenly felt enormous, cold, and without air. Jiang Yanli stumbled back half a step, as imagined scenes of A-Xian being pinned down and tortured flashed before her eyes. 

“A-jie!” Jiang Cheng lunged forward and caught her by the elbow. 

Jiang Yanli trembled, with fury or fear she could not discern. “How could they do such a thing to him? Three hundred lashes...What about Lan-er-gongzi? What punishment did he receive?!"

Rising from his seat, their father sighed deeply, folding his hands behind him. “Unfortunately, the fault lies with us.”

Nothing then. Typical. 

Jiang Cheng made a frustrated noise. “Us?! How could the fault be with us?! That's bullshit!”

But Madam Yu, for once, agreed with her husband. “We all know that Wei Wuxian is a notorious flirt. It's hardly surprising that something like that would -”

“A-niang that isn't true!” Both Jiang children exclaimed at the same time. 

“But A-Xian and Hanguang-jun were caught in the act,” Their father admonished them, displeased with their tone. “There were multiple eye witnesses.” 

Eye witnesses. Jiang Yanli could only imagine what that meant. Surely they were not found in...in bed together. Multiple eye witnesses, no surely not. It couldn’t be as bad as that. At best, at best... at best it was something akin to what she’d seen. A misplaced hand, a misconstrued embrace... a kiss - 

No, no, even that would be too much.  

“...rolling around in the grass like a heathen, taking Hanguang-jun down with him -” 

Jiang Yanli’s head snapped up at her mother’s vivid description of the event. Her words echoed what she had heard in Lanling from the maids and disciples and Zixuan’s cousins. That A-Xian and Lan Wangji were found lying together in the grass, with her brother sitting astride the Second Jade, bent over, exchanging more than just whispers. 

A-Xian, A-Xian how am I supposed to help you now...what can I do now? 

Tears dissolved her vision into fractals of colours and light. She turned away from her family as the first of them began to fall. Mother never liked her tears, and Father never knew what to do with them. 

Her brother A-Cheng, however, could not be stopped once he got started, and whatever ignited him before Jiang Yanli arrived had clearly sparked a wild fire that burned through the last of Jiang Wanyin’s patience with this family. 

"Rolling around in the grass?! Then it must be Lan Wangji's fault! You've all mistaken Wei Wuxian. Yes he's loud and obnoxious and chatty, but that's it! If people mistaken him for a scoundrel, it's only because he's friendly and talkative and doesn't have a filter half the time.”

Jiang Cheng took a breath, shifting his glance from his mother to his father, who stared at him with something akin to shock and an emotion he couldn’t quite place. 

“I know him, a-die, a-niang.” Jiang Cheng continued, quieter. “Wei Wuxian, he's - he's - he was a virgin before he married.” A heated blush bloomed across his cheeks, but he pushed through the embarrassment. “A-Xian was a huge virgin! He's never even held hands with anyone!"

Exasperated, Yu Ziyuan rolled her eyes at her son, as if his arguments were nothing but the antics of a naive child. "Son, you can't know that -"

"I do know that because I know him!" Jiang Cheng protested fiercely, both red in the face and around his eyes now. He was close to tears too. 

"And that Lan Wangji,” he spat with obvious disdain, “Cloud Recesses' disciples are all scared of him. Everyone knows he is cold and disagreeable! If you don't believe me, ask Jin Zixuan! A-jie, you were at Cloud Recesses too with us, is that not what the females disciples say? That he never smiles, never talks, never mingles with anyone! Gusu Lan wants to feed us the tale that Wei Wuxian, within a span of a year, went from completely inexperienced to seducing the most unsociable man of our generation?! I refuse to believe it! Who's to say A-Xian is at fault? Who's to say Lan Wangji isn't a....a... secret sex fiend!"

Jiang Cheng’s outcry silenced the whole room. Jiang Yanli felt a bubble of hysteria rising in her chest. Things were starting to spin out of control. 

“Jiang Cheng!” Jiang Fengmian scolded. “You watch your language in front your elders, and you sister.” 

At that, Jiang Yanli whipped her sleeve back in annoyance, raising her voice for the first time since this whole ordeal began, “Oh please a-die, I have a baby son!”

A-Xian’s life and future hung in the balance and language was where he drew the line? Not the three hundred or so lashes?! 

Dropping the letter onto the table, she took a deep breath and gathered herself. Now was no time to let her emotions get the best of her. 

“When did they say the incident was?” She asked. 

“Two days ago,” replied her father. 

Two days ago and already most of Jinlintai is well versed in the details of the scandal? Jiang Yanli believed in the power of gossip to spread like an infection, but even so, the speed at which this specific piece of information disseminated struck her as particularly malignant. 

Gusu Lan would’ve wanted to contain it. To save face but also to not push Yunmeng Jiang to the brink. This is an alliance after all. Marriage is one thing, but the stability of our sects is another all together. 

But the containment clearly didn’t turn out as intended. Whatever machination was behind this, the proverbial cat was out of the bag and there was no reversing its effects. Had it been simple a family matter, Jiang Yanli would not doubt her parents’ ability to wrangle some kind of compromise from the onerous traditionalists whom Cloud Recesses revered as their Elders. 

和离 heli - an amicable separation. That was the best course of action, to save face and to preserve the peace between their clans. 

But with rumours festering in every corner of their realm, passed from mouth to ear and mouth to ear again, embellished and dramatized along the way, it was not feasible anymore to settle this under the table.

More than just the relationship between three individuals, the reputation and dignity of two major clans rested on the line. 

As a married woman in this world, Jiang Yanli knew as much as her mother knew, as much as any women knew, that this line was more often than not painted with blood. 

“Did Gusu Lan voice any demands from us?”

“Not as of yet,” Jiang Fengmian replied. “Though, they invited your mother and I to Cloud Recesses in a week’s time to discuss what to do be done. They did not say in as many words, but we must prepare ourselves for the possibility that they intend to ‘xiu’fu’.”

Yanli gasped, “They want to ‘xiu’ A-Xian?” For something that was at best only half his fault?

‘xiu’fu’ was not just a divorce. It was a condemnation, like discarding a pair of used old shoes, dregs to be tossed out. It was the fate of almost every woman found guilty of betraying her marriage bed, and some for reasons even less than that. The unfortunates who were ‘xiu’-ed by their husbands could never wash themselves clean of the stain upon their persons. They lived a ruined life, a half-life plagued by gossips and scorn, not...that they lived all that long in the end.

A-Xian may not be a woman, but theirs was a gendered society, and his marrying out of Yunmeng Jiang and into Gusu Lan had fixed his position in a lower stratum. Because of this, his outcome would not be much better.  

The horrifying truth was, Jiang Yanli could not dispute that Gusu Lan Sect and Lan Xichen were well within their rights to do whatever they damn well pleased. 

Except they cannot deny that Lan Wangji is just as culpable. That is the only card we have left to play... 

While she struggled internally with the fine minutiae of social niceties, her brother Jiang Cheng’s thoughts were going down an entirely different path. 

“Why is it that none of you are indignant?!” He stomped his feet, fist clenched and shaking. “Have you for one second even considered that maybe Wei Wuxian wasn’t even a willing participant? That Lan Wangji had - had forced himself on - on...” A-Cheng trailed off, the end of that sentence too gruesome to complete. His meaning, however, was lost on no one. 

Jiang Yanli sighed, touched by the extent of A-Cheng’s concern. Though perhaps in this one instance, he really did overreach. Not that this wouldn’t be a possibility of course, and had the accused been her and not A-Xian, and the man been - hm say Jin Zixun- and not Lan Wangji, then what he suggested would be at the forefront of their parents’ suspicions. Except Wei Wuxian was not Jiang Yanli. Zewu-jun did not marry him solely for his pretty face. By all standards, he was a proficient cultivator, even more powerful now that he’s matured and come into his own. That anyone could wrangled him on his back for that kind of purpose was indeed not very likely, and besides - 

“Lan Zhan, would you like to hold him? Hold Rulan?” 

“Mn? Looks heavy.” 

“Lan Zhan!” 

No, decided Jiang Yanli, her brother’s laughter still echoing in her memory. It was far more plausible that this love affair was more love than affair, which was why the wound it would inevitably leave behind for both A-Xian and Lan Wangji would be that much harder to heal.  

She turned her attention back to Jiang Cheng, who had picked up on his tirade again and ploughed forth uninhibited. 

“Look at you both. Look at this family, if it even is that at all! Wei Wuxian is at Cloud Recesses right now, suffering, and none of you even care! You only care about what this will do to Lotus Pier's image. A-die, you claim to love him, doted on him his whole life, but where are you now that he needs you?! A-niang, Cangse Sanren is dead. She did not raise him, you did! And even if he is Father’s son, so what, so what?! Has he not done everything you ever asked him? Has he not made Lotus Pier proud? Do you even know how many bastards Jin Guangshan has floating around unclaimed?! Yunmeng only has one Wei Wuxian, and blood or not, I only have one brother!"

Jiang Cheng broke off abruptly, face wet with tears. He made a rough swipe at them with his sleeves, but spoke no more. Jiang Yanli wasn’t sure if it was because his audacity had shocked even himself or if he had realized that any more unfiltered outbursts and Madam Yu really would let him have a taste of Zidian’s sting. 

Knowing he had unloaded a lot of bold words that were the epitome of impertinent behaviour, and not wishing to stick around to find out their consequences, Jiang Cheng grabbed Sandu and spun on his heels. 

Purple electricity zipped through the air as the whip tail clacked against the door frame, jolting him sideways. 

“Where do you think you’re going boy? Stop at once!"

"I'm going to Cloud Recesses and getting my brother back! If Gusu Lan doesn't want him, then I will not leave him there to be abused! He deserves to come home, and to hell with them!"

“A-Cheng, A-Cheng, didi, wait, wait!” Jiang Yanli rushed to his side, stopping him in his track. “Impulsivity solves nothing. We cannot rush this. A-die, a-niang, A-Cheng has obviously had quite a shock, as we all have. He isn’t himself; please forgive him for his earlier rudeness. I’ll take him out to the river to cool off. Come, A-Cheng, come along.” 

Begrudgingly, Jiang Cheng allowed himself to be dragged away by his sister. 

“Not a word from you until we’re out of earshot,” she whispered to him. 

Wilting, he obeyed. 

Jiang Yanli kept a tight grip on this brother of hers. She knew she had to think of a solution quickly and carefully. If not, then by the week’s end, A-Cheng could very well be the only brother she had left.   

There's a very good reason why he and Lan Zhan never wake up warm, coddled together in a patch of morning sun like two aristocratic cats: it's because Cloud Recesses' rules are fucking nightmares - and also because he and Lan Zhan are technically, technically in an illicit affair - but mostly because of Cloud Recesses’ rules. Lan Zhan always has to get up at a quarter before mao-shi to sneak back to hanshi so he could continue the charade of having woken up in the bed he definitely didn't sleep in.

Judging by the angle of sunlight spilling into the room, it must be at least si-shi by now, a whole two shichen later than when Lan Zhan is usually up and about…

Oh ffffffuuuck -

Dap, dap, dap!

There are three polite knocks at the door. A disciple's hesitant voice echoes from the other side.

"W-Wei-jun? Are you in there?"

He can hear the anxiety clearly in their tone. Because of course they must be frantic! Lan Zhan's secretarial disciple would've gone in to bring him his breakfast, like he does every morning, and discovered Hanguang-jun's bed and sheets as cold as ice and Lan Wangji himself nowhere to be found.

It's been at least four hours, Cloud Recesses must be having a full blown panic attack by now!!

Wei Wuxian jolts up from bed and is torn between feeling sorry and amazed when that exaggerated movement only manages to elicit an incoherent grumble from Lan Zhan.

Oblivious to Wei Wuxian's impending meltdown, Lan Wangji curls a little deeper into the covers, but does not wake up. 

No time to worry about that, Wei Wuxian yanks the covers over Lan Wangji's head to cover him and pads across the matted floor to the clothing rack. He can't answer the door even if he wants to; he's completely fucking naked.

Wei Wuxian is just about finished with the ties of his second layer of robes when the disciple speaks again,  

"Wei-jun?! Are you in there?! Many apologies for disturbing you…but - but it's urgent! Please, could you open the door?"

For the first time since the death of his husband, Wei Wuxian is glad for his widower status. As the previous Sect Master's yishu 遗属, it would be bad etiquette for lower disciples to barge into his private residence without invite. Not that any of them would be capable: the seal Wei Wuxian placed on the inside of the door last night is an invention of his own. He's confident that no more than a dozen cultivators of their time can break it without expending serious spiritual energy.

Thank goodness last-night-me had the foresight to do that…

Though, he does wonder why it's a bunch of disciples and not someone like Lan Qiren knocking on his door. His nerves calm by half a fraction. If they're coming to me, perhaps they haven't directed this particular issue to higher authorities. Probably doesn't want to give the grandpas an impromptu stroke by declaring Lan Zhan missing…

Wei Wuxian shrugs on his outer layer, and in the calmest, most put-upon voice he can manage, he answers, "What is it? I am feeling poorly this morning."

"Begging your pardon, Wei-jun, it's just…Hanguang-jun, uhm, we can't find Hanguang-jun."

Glancing behind his shoulder, Wei Wuxian winces as he sees Lan Wangji stirring, turning onto his back and shoving the covers out of the way.

"Ah, yes, Hanguang-jun," replies Wei Wuxian, channeling his inner Lan Qiren and attempting his most authoritative tone of voice. "Sect Master has informed me that he’s gone on a…a meditative trek. It's been some time since he's been able to cultivate in peace. He will be returning shortly. No need…no need to worry the Elders."

Through the thin walls, he hears a collective sigh of relief.

"Thank goodness. Forgive us for disturbing you, Wei-jun. If you're feeling unwell, should a healer be sent for -"

"No! No, that's quite alright. I'll be fine. Return to your studies. Do not dally." Wei Wuxian quickly dismisses the disciples. 

Ear pressed against the door, he listens to their footsteps walking away until he can't hear anything but the sparrows chirping in the woods. Letting out the breath he’s been holding anxiously in his chest, Wei Wuxian pads himself in relief.

Crisis averted.

When he turns around, Lan Wangji is sitting up in bed, staring dazedly at him.

"I slept in. It's very late, isn't it?"

The sight of him like that, blankets gathered at the waist, pale chest bared and hair unbound, immediately steals from Wei Wuxian the breath he’d only just been able to catch.

Hanguang-jun is truly the Light Bearer, he laments, mindless of the smile that overtakes him. Even the sun seems to be drawn to the good Lan Zhan. Streaming onto the bed from the window behind, morning sunlight enshrouds his entire being and condenses into a soft halo around him, as if to remind the world that this man is blessed by the gods.

Yet this god-chosen man, destined for immortality, has given himself over to Wei Wuxian last night, delivered into his hands, with pure trust and a small smile in the dark.

Wei Wuxian feels the back of his neck heat up from the memory. Get yourself together, Wei Wuxian, you flagrant degenerate, it’s practically midday. 

"Wei Ying, I…" Lan Wangji averts his eyes as Wei Wuxian takes a seat beside him, holding his clothes ready for him.

"Ah, Lan Zhan, don't be embarrassed." Wei Wuxian chuckles, reaching out to twirl a strand of Lan Wangji's hair around his finger teasingly. "So you slept in, happens to the best of us." 

Leaning forward and pecking a chaste kiss to his forehead, Wei Wuxian hands him his robes and says, "Alright, come on, let's get up. You have to work, and I have to assist my venerated Hanguang-jun. A bath and some breakfast - I told the disciples I'm not feeling my best, they'll probably send whatever I ask for. Nobody ever has to know our Sect Master was sleeping the morning away."

The tip of Lan Wangji's ears turns pink, but instead of accepting the garbs the other man holds out to him, he shifts closer and winds his arms around Wei Wuxian shamelessly. "Yes perhaps, but I am not entirely to blame."

This time, Wei Wuxian does blush. He draws his head back, aghast. "L-Lan Zhan! H-how could you say such a thing in broad daylight!

"Is it not so?" Lan Wangji rests his chin against his lover's shoulder and pivots his head almost accusingly.

Wei Wuxian sputters. Why you shameless little - you - I -

Memories from the night before come rushing back: Lan Zhan's earnest open face when he asked Wei Wuxian to indulge him, climbing onto his lap and whispering into his ear exactly what he wanted. Wei Wuxian is used to Lan Zhan taking charge. It’s been that way since the two of them became intimate. He’s thrilled, more than thrilled, to share those stolen moments with Lan Zhan. In fact, it always does funny wonderful things to him to see the disciplined Hanguang-jun let loose the way he does when they’re together.

But to have his Lan Zhan laying under him, arching and trembling and falling apart for him, his name uttered by those heavenly lips like an answer, a spell, a prayer…How does any reasonable man come back from that?

Oh my god…I - I deflowered the Second Jade of Gusu… Wei Wuxian realizes with a jolt, suddenly hot under the collar. It's not that the implication didn't occur to him yesterday, but the weight of his actions had not fully sunk in until now. It's probably not a coincidence that Lan Wangji, who has never overslept a day in his life, fails to keep to his rigid internal clock after Wei Wuxian spent most of the night having his ways with him.

When did they even go to actual sleep? It couldn't have been any time before midnight. Wei Ying, Wei Wuxian, you fool, you absolute idiot, how could you have done this?! You should've been more careful!!

…Lan Zhan had been so careful with me…

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji calls his name, arms still locked around him. "You told them I'd be gone for a while yet, yes?"

Wei Wuxian frowns, not sure where he's headed. "Yeah?"

Lan Wangji shuffles closer, one of his hands travelling across the front of Wei Wuxian's robes until he finds the knotted sash. Blinking innocently, he says without a shred of pretense, "I do not doubt your skills, but my memories of last night are a little vague. Perhaps you ought to demonstrate for me again, as a reminder?"

For a long, long moment, neither of them move, Lan Wangji's request apparently having shocked Wei Wuxian into petrified silence. He does nothing but stare back at him, so much so Lan Wangji begins to wonder if he went a little too far with the teasing. But then Wei Wuxian's expression shifts, something raw and hungry flashing across his face. The next moment, Lan Wangji is flipped over onto his front, the covers yanked off exposing his pale bare form, every inch a perfection. 

Lan Wangji shivers, more reactionary than actually cold. He can feel Wei Ying's gaze on him, heated and appreciative, and as much as he doesn't want to give him the satisfaction, he squirms under the scrutiny.

"Wei Y-"

But the weight of Wei Ying's body is suddenly flush against his back, and Lan Wangji notices with a start that while he is thoroughly bare, Wei Ying is mostly dressed and does not appear to be in any hurry to change that.

Does Wei Ying really intend to take him while fully clothed?! Somehow the thought doesn't bother him, not in the least. Rather, it spurs him on, sparking the desire that simmers just beneath his skin. 

His hair is swept to side; Lan Wangji groans as a pair of lips press a hot, open mouthed kiss against his neck behind one redden ear.

"One would think, Hanguang-jun, that requesting physical intimacy in the middle of the day counts for misbehaviour."

The needy kiss transforms into a sharp bite.

Lan Wangji suffocates a groan, shuddering as the kiss trails between his shoulder blades and lower. For a few minutes, all he can focus on is the touch of hands and lips and tongue mapping out the planes of his body and wringing from him wonderful pleasures that he would not otherwise so easily relinquish.

"As the once disciplinary officer of Cloud Recesses," continues Wei Ying, lifting Lan Zhan by the hips and pushing him onto his knees. "Please enlighten us the appropriate consequences."

Wei Ying sounds very much like a cat savouring its play time with its poor prey before devouring it alive. Although Lan Wangji would never admit it out loud even under duress, he can confess to himself in the safety of his mind that this fate is exactly what he wants.

The Wei Ying of last night was careful, gentle, and steadfast despite being nervous.That Wei Ying had held his hands, lacing their fingers together, and whispered sweet lovely things as he brought them to their heights and back. Lan Wangji wasn't lying when he said his memories were a bit fuzzy; the entire experience had been…a lot.

However, Wei Ying in the morning is a whole different beast, and Lan Zhan aches just imagining what waits ahead. He wants him, by god, he wants him.

"One would think, Wei-jun," Lan Wangji manages to grit out, "that as someone who holds the highest running record of punishments received during his guest disciple days, you would be more than acquainted with Cloud Recesses' method of discipl - ah!"

The cry is ripped from his throat before he could help it. Panting, Lan Wangji writhes against the sheets and marvels a little at just how readily he receives what Wei Ying gives him.

But Wei Ying's tone loses its playfulness right away. "Lan Zhan -" The hand that threads through his hair is light and the following kiss on his left shoulder is tender. "- are you - are you hurt? Was I -"

Perhaps that cry sounded more distressed than he actually was. Lan Wangji turns his head to meet Wei Ying's worried gaze and melts a little. Blood is roaring in his ears and he is hot all over, but the warm cocoon that envelops his heart has nothing to do with lust.

Wei Ying presses another soft, comforting kiss against the shell of his ear and then another against his temple. "Say something, should I stop?"

Stop?! If this endearing idiot even thinks about stopping now Lan Wangji will absolutely smack him out of pure frustration.  

Catching his breath, he pushes back against Wei Wuxian and is immensely satisfied when the other man shudders in response. Reveling in the knowledge that he is the only one to ever see Wei Ying this way, he does it again. This time, the hands gripping his deviant hips are no longer gentle.

"Are you going to make good on my punishments," challenges Lan Wangji, batting his lashes, infinitesimally coy. "Or were those merely empty threats?"

The speed at which Wei Ying's eyes darken with desire almost makes Lan Wangji regret his impertinence. But then he is being thrust forward without warning, the unexpected motion hitting that spot inside him that makes his toes curl and his vision go white, and he instantly regrets nothing.

"W-Wei Ying…"

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he is aware that he is being objectively loud, but it really isn't his fault. Who in their right mind would expect him to be silent when he is being railed into the bed like both their immortalities depended on it. He just hopes Wei Ying has the good sense to cast a silencing talisman (lucky for them, he did).

Lan Zhan moans into the sheets, his eyes rolling back. How on earth is he so wrecked so quickly?! What is Wei Ying doing to him? In this position, he is completely at his lover's mercy, but he doesn't want to fight it, not at all. Clutching the wooden headboard, Lan Wangji surrenders the last bit of his self-control and submerges under the waves of sensations and sounds and bliss.  

~

Lan Zhan is quiet afterwards, soaking in the bath Wei Wuxian prepared for him. Wei Wuxian wipes himself down perfunctorily, changes into fresh robes and then proceeds to meticulously tidy the bed. The sheets are…probably not salvageable. He'll have to burn them or bury them, because there's no way he can hand them over to the disciples on laundry duty in the state that they're in. Even he can't talk his way out of that one.

When he's sure there is no more incriminating evidence of their activities, Wei Wuxian rounds behind the screen to find Lan Zhan exactly where he'd left him.

Eyes closed, he looks so young. It's not fair how everything must fall to him now. Lan Zhan never complains, but he must be exhausted after all that's happened since the end of last year.

His heart squeezing tightly, Wei Wuxian picks up a wash cloth and sits down by the tub. Lovely eyes flutter open just as he runs the warm towel over the round of Lan Zhan's shoulder.

"Are you alright?" He asks softly, wiping a bit of dried spent from Lan Zhan's chin. "Was I too rough?"

The tip of Lan Zhan's ears turns pink again. He shakes his head, taking Wei Wuxian's hand and caresses his knuckles. "No, you were perfect."  

Still, something nags Wei Wuxian in the mind of his mind. Their hands still clasped together, he shifts closer and searches Lan Zhan's face. 

"Lan Zhan, what brought this on? Last night and this morning. You know I don't mind being the …uhm…" Blushing, he clears his throat, suddenly thin-skinned. Damn it, Wei Wuxian, get it together. "You know I don’t mind being the way we were before. Love it in fact, can't get enough of it even. I don't want you to think I expect you to - uhm - return the favour... as it were."

Lan Zhan's eyes are serious but also bright and earnest with understanding and intent. He thumbs the blush on Wei Wuxian's cheek, curling his fingers around his nape. 

"I'm yours now, Wei Ying." He says, voice hushed but resolve firm. "Do you understand? No more nonsense about finding me a proper husband, or a wife to bear me heirs, or any talk of that kind. Even if the Elders bar me from marrying you on the account of you being my brother's widower, I'm yours, and you're not allowed to abandon me. I won't have it."

"Lan Zhan..." The back of his throat grows unbearably tight. Wei Wuxian feels as though he could cry. He remembers their conversation back in Qishan when he saw Lan Zhan with little Wen Yuan and the ensuing row they had afterwards. It was perhaps the first and only time Lan Zhan lost his temper with him. He'd been so angry, so hurt, that Wei Ying would even suggest he should marry another.

Wei Wuxian, if you truly want me to be with someone else, then what, tell me, are we doing now?!

Wei Wuxian squeezes his hand, pressing a heartbroken kiss to his palm, then another, then another. He feels horrible with himself. How could he not realize earlier? Is this why Lan Zhan had been so insistent?

"Lan Zhan, my good Lan Zhan, you didn't have to - I won't leave you, Lan Zhan, I promised you, I won't. You have me, you'll always have me, you didn't have to -"

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji interrupts him, seeing his self-deprecating tendencies are once again leading him down the wrong line of thought. "I want you, want to be with you. Last night was not solely to drive home a point. Even if I did want to make a point, it would only be part of the reason, minimal at best, and certainly would not account for this morning.” 

Wei Wuxian blinks, swallowing thickly. "And the real reason?"

"Well, surely it's very telling." Lan Wangji inches closer. The angle of the round tub makes it awkward but he doesn't care. A smile playing at his lips, he whispers into the other man's ear and delights at the way Wei Ying pulls back with a scandalized cry.

"Lan Zhan!"

Wei Wuxian is sure that his entire face is on fire. Who would've thought the esteemed Hanguang-jun could be such a lethal combination of imaginative mind and dirty mouth?!

But Lan Wangji only chuckles, nuzzling his neck. "Thank you for being so obliging, Wei Ying. I hope I was not too much of a burden."

I’m going to cry, thinks Wei Wuxian, I’m actually going to cry. Inside his chest, his heart has swelled so incredibly that he feels it will burst any second. "Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, my good Lan-er-gege," he chants, over and over, peppering the lightest and sweetest of kisses along Lan Wangji's face. "You can't say things like that without warning! My heart can't take it!"

"Mn,” Lan Wangji purrs.“You'll live."

"Lan Zhan, ah Lan Zhan, what am I going to do with you?" Wei Wuxian sighs,  holding the other man by the curve of his jaw and smiles that sunshine smile.

"Stuck with me, I'm afraid. Hasn't anyone told you?" Lan Zhan peers at him through hooded eyes. "Us Gusu Lans, we're rooks."

"Rooks?"

"Rooks mate for life."

At that, Wei Wuxian pulls Lan Wangji impossibly close and silences him with a deep, long kiss.

-

[part 8]

Lan Xichen's arms come around him from behind, gentle and firm, and his presence against Wei Wuxian's back is warm. There is nothing threatening about this embrace, but all Wei Wuxian feels is the shadow of his husband looming over him, knowing he has betrayed him in the worst way.

"I'm sorry how I left things at the Cold Pond," said Xichen quietly. "I was...it was very sudden. I'm not used to...such displays."

As yes, the Cold Pond, not one of Wei Wuxian’s better ideas. They’d been married for six months then and Zewu-jun still kept his distance, using all sorts of reasons and excuses not to consummate. If it were simply a personal matter, Wei Wuxian would not have fretted endlessly, because the worst he’d suffer would be a bruised ego (whatever, so his gorgeous husband found him unattractive, whatever), but if Zewu-jun was unhappy with this marriage, then it could potentially jeopardize Yunmeng and Gusu’s alliance. Madam Yu’s instructions were explicitly clear: make Lan Xichen happy, whatever it takes.

You already married him Wei Wuxian, what else is there to hold back? That had been his logic (deeply, deeply flawed logic) when he sought out Lan Xichen at the Cold Pond and accosted him right there in the water.

Needless to say, it ended awkwardly for all parties involved. Especially himself… when his heart decided to declare after he’s already gotten his legs wrapped around his husband’s waist that maybe – maybe – it’s not Lan Xichen he wants pressing him against the rocks after all.  

"I'm sorry Zewu-jun, I was over the line that day -" Wei Wuxian tries to use this as an excuse to dislodge himself.

But his husband holds on fast. "No - no it's... it was fine. More than fine, it was... nice. I liked it."

Liked…it?

Zewu-jun liked his flagrant wanton display? Liked him undressed and hair unbound? Liked…him? Likes…him?

And if Lan Xichen likes him, then, then – Wei Wuxian swallows down the bile that refluxes up his throat. His mind grinds achingly slow, unable to see that thought to its natural conclusion. Because if Lan Xichen liked him then and has his arms around him now and is saying these things in that soft, gentle voice then surely…

…surely this is a hint that – that –

– that Lan Xichen, that his husband wants him to – to – that his husband wants him.

Now.

Wei Wuxian bites his tongue to stop himself from blurting out something he can’t take back. He’s thankful that they’re standing back to front so Zewu-jun can’t see his face. He’s not Lan Zhan, he can’t make himself stoic and neutral. He wants to pull away, to make an excuse like all the times Lan Xichen made excuses, but –

– A-Xian, a-niang probably neglected to mention this but…ahem, when you’re with your new husband, you don’t always have to say yes. You understand?  –

But how could he say no? How could he? Especially after what he’s done? No, no, shijie could have never anticipated the predicament he is in now. He can’t refuse. He can’t. Not after how much he’s wronged Lan Xichen. Squeezing his eyes shut, Wei Wuxian guides his husband’s hands to his hips and reaches for the knot of his own sash.

You can do this. It’s not difficult -

Wei Ying.

- Stop it. Stop thinking about him. He’s your xiao-shuzi.

But his heart rebels and his mind won’t listen. Eyes closed, he can clearly see Lan Zhan’s face as he sprinted around the corner of the courtyard that afternoon. Over Lan Xichen’s shoulder, their eyes met, and the elation that holds Lan Wangji’s expression open and vulnerable wavers, threatening to fall.

Yet the minute Lan Xichen turned to face his little brother, Lan Wangji seemed to push all of that aside, for he hurriedly crossed the stone path to join them.

"Xiongzhang." Lan Zhan emoted, actually emoted. The Lan brothers dif not hug, not like A-Cheng surely would've if it were Wei Wuxian returning from the dead, but the light sustained in Lan Zhan’s warm eyes could blot out the sun.

Lan Zhan is the best of people, Wei Wuxian knows. He must be horrified, wrecked with guilt, and that is entirely Wei Wuxian’s fault. He had felt Lan Zhan’s gaze following them as they left from Lan Qiren’s study, and he had so wanted to turn and catch a glimpse of him, but he couldn’t. For one, Uncle was watching them, but also, Wei Wuxian was sure that if he had looked to Lan Zhan then, he’d completely fall apart.  

The first layer of his robes slips to the floor. He’s just bathed, so he isn’t wearing very much to begin with. He tugs at the ties of his inner most robe. Mercifully, it’s not his red one.

He’s only ever worn the red one for Lan Zhan…

Let it stay that way.

Wei Wuxian pulls open his robe, shivering when cool air hits his skin. Lan Xichen’s hands are warm as they peel the thin cotton cloth from his shoulders, but he is not soothed in the least.

Instead, he focuses on the task at hand. He draws a sharp breath, steadying himself, before reaching for the band of his trousers.

~

Lan Xichen swallows thickly. 

Right. 

He can do this. He's done it so many times now, not with Wei Wuxian perhaps, but –

No, no buts.

Xichen, have you lost your damn mind?! Do you even know what you’re doing anymore?! His Dage’s words of reprimand swim in his head. Do you know what everyone’s been saying about xiao-Wei behind his back? They call him ke’fu 克夫, call him zai’xing 灾星; said he was the one who brought you misfortune, that he’s the reason you’re dead!

Upon seeing Wei Wuxian, Lan Xichen knows Nie Mingjue hadn’t lied to get him to come back to Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian is thinner, gaunt even; clearly the months he’s been away haven’t been kind on his husband.

He’s been neglecting Wuxian, and yet Wuxian is the one shouldering the taunts, the gossips, the hurtful remarks of others. It isn’t fair. It isn’t just. All this time, Lan Xichen has been so consumed by his knowledge that Wangji is interested in Wuxian that he’s forgotten to consider what his husband wants? What if Wei Wuxian wants…him, wants Lan Xichen instead?

Which he does, yes? He's shown that very clearly at the Pond. If Wangji hadn’t interrupted, they would’ve…surely, they would’ve.

There’s no point denying it. If his brother hadn’t come upon them, Lan Xichen would’ve consummated their marriage and taken Wei Wuxian right there in the Cold Pond.

And if his husband’s interest is with him, then - then shouldn't, shouldn't Xichen –

– he'll talk to Wangji. They'll talk. It doesn’t seem like much has changed since he left, maybe Wangji has chosen not to act…

…or maybe Uncle and the Elder has forbidden him from taking on his brother’s widower. It’s not a good look after all…

It'll be hard, but they'll work through this. Mingjue-xiong is right, Wuxian's days have been more than difficult, and it's all Lan Xichen's fault because he has been away and neglecting his home, his husband, his duties even after his memories came back and he remembered who he was. He has dallied, stalled and delayed his return for his own selfish reasons, for. . . for...

I do wonder what this little slut has done to have you so ensnarled, Zewu-jun – The sharp edge of the sword slices through chiffon and then across skin – Have you not heard? 婊子无情，戏子无义. All this trouble for a whore, it’s not worth it.

Stop – stop, don’t hurt him –

Lan Xichen is so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he barely notices when Wei Wuxian's sash comes undone. The middle layer falls to floor. He sees his own hands, as if in a trance, slipping the inner robe from his husband's shoulders revealing an expanse of pale, tantalizing skin.  

Long lashes against blushing cheeks, soft lips smile against his own, a breathy sigh.

A-Yao…  

 The 'no' slams into him like a brick wall.

Lan Xichen feels ills. He reaches out instantly, grabbing both of Wei Wuxian’s elbows, stilling him.

“Stop.”

They're still standing back to front, and Lan Xichen doesn't see his husband's face. He imagines the disappointment will be evident, but he just couldn’t continue, he just couldn't...not until he tells Wuxian about where he’s been and what he’s done.

Not until he tells him about A-Yao, but Lan Xichen knows in his heart that he could never tell anyone about A-Yao.

Not unless he wants him to live. 

He turns Wei Wuxian gently in his arms. The younger man keeps his head bowed, unable to look at him. To be rejected twice, Lan Xichen does not know what Wei Wuxian must be feeling now, but he would make sure he does not go to bed feeling unwanted. He is not the one lacking, not in any way.

Tenderly, he tilts up Wuxian by the chin, and his heart crumbles to see those quivering lips and glassy eyes still lowered submissively. His lips press a comforting kiss against his husband's forehead just as the first of his tears begins to slide down his face.

"I'm sorry," Lan Xichen murmurs, pulling Wei Wuxian into a firm embrace. "It's not your fault, not at all. I just can't tonight. It's... been difficult. I need time, I just need time."

It's a lie, but he lies without hesitation.

Wei Wuxian shakes in relief and does not correct Lan Xichen for his misunderstanding.

He doubts Lan Xichen knows that his tears are not for him, or even for himself. Even now, inches away from their marriage bed, the apology ringing in between his ears as he undresses for an act of duty nearly a year overdue is not for his husband.

It is for his Lan Zhan.

He has lived in sin, yes, but he is not sorry.

Wei Wuxian sags against Lan Xichen and returns his embrace, seeking comfort like a child. There's nothing remotely sexual in the way Xichen pads him on the back soothingly, almost as though he is consoling a weepy toddler.

"It's alright; I'm just so happy you're alive," mumbles Wei Wuxian into his husband’s shoulder.

This is true.

"And I'm glad you're back."

This is a lie, but he lies.

 ~

[part 7]

 (*idiom《婊子无情，戏子无义》= whores have no love, actors have no loyalty)

 xiao - shuzi 小叔子 - younger brother of husband

This Jingshi feels displaced, out of time, a remnant of the past that haunts him. This Jingshi belongs to the Lan Wangji before he moved to hanshi, before life thrust upon him responsibilities he didn’t think he’d ever have to shoulder, before circumstances unlocked the desires behind his inhibitions and allowed his demons to whisper in his ears that he could have more, that he could want more, that he could seek and take and claim...

But Hanshi was never his. And Wei Ying was never his.

The news came at a quarter past noon. Zewu-jun is alive, exclaimed the disciples, running amok through Cloud Recesses, throwing rules and cautions to the wind. He has come home!

Lan Wangji ran too, all the way from the Library Pavilion where he had been reviewing reports with senior disciples to Uncle’s study.

He dashed through the doors of the courtyard, skidding around the corner, and the first thing he saw was Uncle, whose wide smile and wet eyes were enough to make him stop abruptly in his track. Beside him, he saw the object of Lan Qiren’s joy. The shape of his brother’s tall frame and wide back was such a familiar sight, engrained so vividly into his boyhood memories that he did not need Lan Xichen to turn around to know right away that the disciples had spoken the truth.

His xiongzhang is alive, his xiongzhang has come back!!

But then… over the paralyzing vacuum of his dizzying elation, Lan Wangji had realized that his brother was slightly hunched over, hugging someone. Over Lan Xichen’s shoulder, he found Wei Ying’s wide eyes staring into his.

It should be a crime, thinks Lan Wangji, that such a joyous blessed gift – his brother! Alive! – could wrought such horrible, heart-wrenching pain.

To see Wei Ying in his brother’s arms when barely hours ago he had been in his is akin to being tossed to the highest cloud in the heavens and let fall into the deepest pit of hell.

Lan Wangji hates himself, is absolutely disgusted with himself.

I must be the most deplorable person in the world, he curses silently and doesn’t understand where his decency has gone. How he could be anything less than grateful that the universe has shown mercy and returned his beloved brother back to Cloud Recesses?

They ate dinner together, a family reunited. Over the most indulgent meal the kitchen was allowed to offer and Gusu’s finest tea, the three of them listened to Lan Xichen recount his last five months, and through his narration, tried to piece together what Jin Guangshan had plotted to do.

Uncle was so overjoyed by it all that he even called Wei Ying “A-Xian” accidentally. Wei Ying’s jaws dropped open, and Lan Xichen laughed, but in his seat beside his brother, Lan Wangji felt as though he was being slowly seared on a low burning fire.

It took everything he had to school his face into the “reserved but pleased” expression that he knew he should be feeling. So many times, he was sure he would give himself away because xiongzhang could read him better than anyone. Yet, Lan Xichen seemed oddly distracted, like he was keeping in more details and thoughts than he was sharing with them. More than once, his warm eyes appeared glazed over, distant, as though it was only his physical body that returned and not his soul. 

Lan Wangji did not have the capacity to ponder on what could possibly be the cause of this. He was just relieved that his brother couldn’t detect his internal turmoil from his face and realize that his little brother deflowered his widowed husband just months after his supposed death…

The hours went by; shen-shi turned to you-shi, you-shi pushed to xu-shi, and as the night drew closer and closer to hai-shi, the anxiety which gradually built up inside him threatened to explode.

Lan Wangji kept the conversation going, terrified what would happen if they were dismissed for the night. It wasn’t a difficult task, for indeed he had so many questions. Eventually, however, Uncle announced that they should continue this discussion at another time. Rising from his seat, he ushered them out of his study and bid them to rest for the evening.

Or rather, he bid Wangji to rest. To Xichen and Wei Wuxian, Lan Qiren said with an uncharacteristically soft look in his eyes,

“Xichen, your absence has been hard on the family, but especially on Wuxian. Take some time to yourselves and be reacquainted. The rest can wait. It’s been a rough half a year.”

Reacquainted.

Teased by their uncle’s words, Wei Ying lowered his face and hid his blush. An appropriate response, for Lan Qiren actually chuckled – chuckled –  and nodded approvingly when Lan Xichen took Wei Wuxian by the hand and strolled with him back to their residence.

Lan Wangji watched them go, rooted to the spot, his mind screaming for Wei Ying to look at him, give him a sign, tell him to put a stop this.

But Wei Ying did not look at him.

No, and why would he? His husband was back, the husband he had very much enjoyed being married to -

“You know, when Madam Yu said she was going to marry me off, I was afraid she’d find someone the likes of The Peacock or worse – barf – Jin Zixun, but thank god it’s Zewu-jun. I mean… he is ranked number one in our generation. I didn’t even dare to hope for such a good match. I know, I know Lan Zhan, you don’t think I’m good enough for your brother, you don’t have to keep glaring at me like that. I’ll be a good husband, I’ll love him to my very, very best ability. I promise! I swear!”

- the husband whose attention he’d spent months agonizing over how to catch -

“I don’t understand why he won’t sleep with me, Lan Zhan! It’s been weeks since the wedding! Look here, be straight with me Lan Zhan: I’m attractive, right? Pretty, one could even say? If you were my husband, you’d want to sleep with me, right?!”

- the husband he’d almost succeeded in seducing that day at the Cold Pond had Lan Wangji not given in to his maddening selfishness and spoiled the moment.

Wei Ying’s torn inner robe floating on the water, xiongzhan’s disgarded clothes on the shore, two bodies entwined together in the mist.   

Lan Wangji opens his eyes – when did he close them? – and finds himself alone in the darkened Jingshi once again. There’s no Wei Ying.

Wei Ying is gone.

Woodenly, he walks to his empty bed and lies down on it. The disciples had forgotten to change the bedding and the sheets, which they’d slept in together last night and made love on this morning.

Was it really this morning? Surely, surely a lifetime has come and gone. But Wei Ying’s scent is still there, faint, lingering, and if he closes his eyes and imagine it, he could still hear his own name whispered breathily against his ear.

Lan Zhan.

In all their time together, Lan Wangji has never asked Wei Wuxian which of two Jades of Gusu he preferred better: himself or his brother. He wondered, but he never asked. Asking would be tasteless and cruel, not to mention inappropriate. Lan Xichen had meant something significant to the both of them, and Wei Ying is entitled to his past, his feelings, and he owes Lan Wangji nothing.

What matters is the future that awaits us, Lan Wangji used to muse on the nights he lay awake remembering the brother he lost, with Wei Ying asleep peacefully curled at his side. We will discover the truth and bring xiongzhang’s killer to justice. Avenge him. Put his soul to rest.

And then…and then they will live. Even if Uncle and the Elders never allow them to marry, he and Wei Ying will have each other, and that would be enough.

Those were his dreams, and this, this is just awakening.

Lan Wangji can’t sleep, too afraid to close his eyes again. Uncle’s words turn and turn and turn in his head: reacquainted reacquainted reacquainted. He’s not so naïve that he doesn’t know what Lan Qiren was hinting at.

Memories of the Cold Pond come rushing back in suffocating torrents of sounds and images, and Lan Wangji is drowning. Drowning because he remembers Xichen's teeth biting into Wei Ying's shoulder, Wei Ying's bare back under his brother’s large hands, his whines and moans as Xichen pressed him against the stone edge and -

Lan Wangji yanks his blankets to the side and shoots up from bed, the back of his neck clammy and his eyes stinging. He wonders if he goes barging into Hanshi right now if he would be too late to stop them, or if he would see Wei Ying's legs wound around Xichen's waist again, if this time... they'll finish what they started.

His imagination draws up an explicit image and he could hear Wei Ying's breathless voice murmuring another's name.

Lan Huan.

Lan Wangji almost doesn't make it to the wash basin before he vomits up his dinner.

Please, please don’t take him from me. The gods must be laughing now, laughing and judging. He’s committed a horrible sin and this is just his punishment. 

Everyone at Cloud Recesses thinks their Hanguang-jun is strong, untouchable, one step away from the enlightened state of immortality, but Lan Wangji is not a god. He is just a man, and even the strongest man has his breaking point. And this may just be his own.

When his stomach has nothing left to retch up but stomach acid, Lan Wangji forces himself to return to bed. But instead of lying back down again, he lifts the floorboard underneath and pulls out a jug of Emperor's Smile. It’s supposed to be Wei Ying's; they'd smuggled it in after a night-hunt because Wei Ying had begged, batted his eyes at him very prettily and called him his "Lan-er-gege."

Alcohol is forbidden in Cloud Recesses.

Yes, well, so is fucking one’s brother/sect master’s husband. Lan Wangji laughs bitterly. He’s never understood Wei Ying’s preference for drink, but he knows there is no way he will survive tonight sober.

Lan Wangji uncorks the bottle and downs the content in one go.

What happens afterwards is anybody's guess.

~

[part 6]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Wei Wuxian arrives at the Lan family's sacred ancestral hall, Lan Wangji is already there, kneeling alone before the altar, flanked by Gusu and Yunmeng's elders and their stern and silent gaze. He braves it without any signs of distress. His back is straight, his posture unbent and his spirit unbroken. Like him, Lan Zhan is dressed down in a plain white robe, no guan to hold up his hair, only a bare strip of white cloth.

To see him relatively well, Wei Wuxian releases the anxious breath he's been holding high in his chest. The last thing he remembers is passing out in Lan Zhan's arms in front of Songfeng Shuiyue. They were beating Lan Zhan with the whip…they were… And then Zewu-jun had arrived.

Of course Lan Zhan is fine. He is Hanguang-jun, Gusu's Second Jade, the second ranked cultivator of our generation…Lan Zhan is fine… he's fine…

Shijie tells him it's been seven days. Has it really? He wonders. Only just? Why does it feel like a lifetime has passed?

Eyes turn on him as he makes his first step into the abbey, and he's never more thankful for the potion the healers fed him pre-emptively than at that moment. He knows he must look a sight, as much as shijie has tried to clean him and make him proper. It could be so much worse; at least he is walking independently instead of being hoisted by disciples. The mixture of milk of poppy and cannabis extract dulls the fire burning along his back just enough for it to be bearable.

Shijie was none too unhappy that he has to trek all the way to the ancestral hall by himself, but Wei Wuxian is not so bothered. When one decides to bed one's husband's brother, it is only natural that one must prepare for the possibility that one's ass is going to get flayed. The situation as it is, his affair is a thing of public knowledge and his reputation is in tatters. Once, he had boasted to Xue Yang that if he, Wei Wuxian, is the second most shameless person in the cultivation world, then nobody would dare to be first.

It was truthfully a bit of an exaggeration, for he had been a beloved ward of Jiang Fengmian, Head Disciple of Yunmeng Jiang, the son of Cangse Sanren, and the fourth ranking cultivator of his generation.

Now… now he's just a problem. Even His mother would be ashamed.

Wei Wuxian stumbles, and the sound of his shuffling steps has Lan Wangji whipping around, eyes growing wide at the sight of him.

Do I really look so awful?

"Wei Ying!" He pushes to his feet but a single pulse of spiritual energy from an elder strikes him in the leg and forces his back onto his knees again. His porcelain mask crumbles and the raw pain underneath bleeds through.

A tinge of red seeps through the white of his robes, like a plum flower blooming amidst snow.

Wei Wuxian is suddenly acutely aware of the waning of Lan Zhan's cheeks and the pallor of his skin. Lan Zhan seems subdued somehow, almost as if… he's still confined by spiritual locks.

Without his cultivation, his wounds won't heal.

Worry lances Wei Wuxian in the chest, hot and sudden. Beneath his breast-bone, his physical heart aches within its cage. Struggling another three steps, he falls gracelessly onto his knees. His breath shakes, beads of cold sweat breaking across his temple and clinging to his hairline. The potion's numbness is starting to wear off, and the wave of pain rising inside him is almost enough to topple him to the ground. Still he holds on. He squeezes his eyes shut and gathers his breath, but he knows he must appear pathetic like this, half wasted before the Lan and Jiang Elders, Uncle, Madam Yu, and all of Gusu Lan's ancestors. No amount his usual shield of devil-may-care attitude could protect him now from his own sense of embarrassment.

"Wei Ying." Someone whispers his name. A firm grip finds his elbow, pulling him up.

Lan Zhan has shifted closer, so close in fact their thighs are almost touching. Cool, gentle fingers caress his face. He holds Lan Zhan's hand out of need and desperation.

Inexplicably, the elders allow this, but it doesn't bode well. Rather than perceiving it as leniency, Wei Wuxian is seized with dread.

Kindness is something one shows to a prisoner sentenced to die.

~~~

Lan Wangji is terrified.

The fact that the elders of Gusu Lan and Yunmeng Jiang are able to deliberate and come to a consensus within half a day, that Yu Ziyuan and Lan Qiren can peacefully tolerate each other's presence without devolving into a shouting match, that neither xiong’zhang nor Jin-xiao-fu'ren are permitted to attend - are reasons for his frightful premonition.

There are candles and oil lamps lit all along the hall, illuminating the tomb plaques stacked neatly one row above the next up the wall of names.

With a nod from Madam Yu, Uncle rises from his seat and approaches him and Wei Ying. His expression is sullen and sad.

"Wangji, Wuxian. The Elders have discussed at length. Initially we had considered xiu'fu to be the most direct solution, but Yunmeng Jiang Sect has made it clear a divorce is not acceptable. After some convincing, Gusu Lan Sect concedes. Despite the rumours and the gossips, we recognize that you are both equal participants in this affair. Neither one is more guilty than the other…and in any case, Xichen himself is not the least bit bothered by any of this. The dissolution of your marriage, Wuxian, is not why we've summoned you both here today before our family's ancestors."

With a permissive gesture, Uncle beckons a Lan healer to enter the hall.

Lan Wangji's blood grows cold as the healer stops before him and Wei Ying, bows once, hands a tray to Lan Qiren containing two identical jade cups filled with clear liquids, and shuffles out without glancing once at either of them.

He hears Wei Ying inhale sharply, the fingers laced between his own squeeze impossibly harder.

So this is what it shall be.

Two cups of poisons to end the scandal, to wash them of their sins, and to restore honour to its rightful place.

Lan Wangji looks to the man he loves with his entire being, and finds Wei Ying's equally panicked eyes staring back at him.

This can't be real.

"Shufu -" Lan Wangji inches forward on his knees. Wei Ying has already taken three hundred and one lashes for him and nearly lost his life in process. He's never owed Lan Wangji anything, and even if he did, surely the debt's been paid in full and then some. He doesn't deserve this. "Shufu - shufu, forgive Wei Ying! This is my fault - "

Lan Wangji is the instigator. Since that first night at the wedding banquet, he's lost control of himself. Wei Ying annoyed him, yes, but only a little. Even since day one, Lan Wangji was able to recognize that Wei Wuxian from Lotus Pier has wit, spontaneity, and heart. His talent with a sword impress even those that disliked him, and he wields it with a sense of right and wrong that is fluid and innate, and has nothing to do with the rigid precepts carved in stone.

Lan Wangji fell without realizing, without warning, slow and sudden all at once.

He envied Lan Xichen who had all of Wei Ying and didn't know it, didn't treasure it. He envied Jiang Wanyin who held Wei Wuxian's sworn loyalty as brother, as family. He envied Jiang Yanli, who could draw the light to Wei Ying's eyes with a simple well-wishing letter and a smile from his lips that was warmer than the hearth in a winter storm, than the sunrise on a summer day.

He envied them because they had so much of Wei Ying and he had so little and wanted so much, but now he has everything…

…and what a price his desires demand.

"Shufu - Madam Yu -" Lan Wangji turns to the matriarch of Yunmeng Jiang and knocks his forehead to the ground. "Please believe me, this is entirely Wangji's doing. Wei Ying is innocent! If anyone is guilty, it is Wangji!"

"No! Lies!" Wei Ying protests, pushing Lan Wangji out of the way to say, "Don't listen to him, it's my fault- I -"

"That's enough." Lan Zonghui interrupts the youngsters' panicked tirade, always the cold voice of reason. "Perhaps you should allow your uncle to finish."

Lan Qiren grimaces, as though he can't make himself continue. Tightening his grip on the tray, and he says, "This transgression goes beyond the breaking of vows or the marriage of two individuals. The dignity of two great sects are at jeopardy. Since you are the ones who started it, you must be the ones to finish it. You must've known the consequences of your sins when you both chose this insane course of action, so we ask nothing but that you find the decency and courage to face them. Neither Gusu Lan nor Yunmeng Jiang are the deciders of your fates. As you are both equally at fault, to blame one over the other would be unjust. Therefore," He presents them with the cups.

"Only one is laced with poison. Which one you choose to drink is entirely up to you."

Lan Wangji's head is light, and he barely thinks before he asks out right, "Why not both?"

Lan Zonghui tilts his head curiously. "Do you think you deserve to die together?"

Of course not. That would be too kind.

Wei Ying closes his eyes as tears fall.

"What do you intend to do with the other?" ask Lan Wangji, glaring up at Lan Zonghui with mutiny in his eyes.

"Seclusion, to repent for your sins -"

"Wei Ying!"

Lightning fast, Wei Wuxian has already swallowed the content of cup closest to him and is reaching for the second cup.

It did occur to Lan Wangji earlier that if he moves quickly enough, he can grab both and drink both, but while he wrangled with how to best execute his plan, Wei Wuxian is already in motion.

Lan Wangji shouts something incoherent as the others in the room gasp. His powers may be sealed, but Wei Wuxian is carrying the wound of three hundred lashes. Even now, they are evenly matched. Lan Wangji knocks his hand out of the way at the very last second, stealing the second cup right out from under his reach and downs it in one go.

The drink tastes like nothing. Like water.

No…

He stares at the cup in hand then up at Wei Ying, assuming the worst, but Wei Wuxian is staring back at him with equal terror, seemingly not in any kind of danger. He must've tasted water too.

Was it… was it a test?

Lan Wangji dares to hope. He looks to his uncle, "shuf-", but then he feels it.

It's not pain, but he feels it, crawling up from his belly and overtaking him inch by inch. He lurches forward, falling onto his palms, the jade cup clattering to the ground.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying collects him in his arms and shakes him furiously. "Lan Zhan!! Stop fooling around! You can't die, they're not going to let you die, I'm not going to let you die, so - stop it! Stop messing with me!! Stop pretending - Lan Zh- Lan Wangji if you die now I will never forgive you!!"

Lan Wangji tries to say something, but he can't. Death is heavy, like a woolen shroud coiling tighter and tighter around his body. He's already lost sensation of his limbs, and even his vision is starting to blur. Whatever the poison is, it works fast.

Wei Ying is full on sobbing now, all pretenses of composure gone.

Wei Ying… I couldn't protect you when I should have.

He wishes he could speak these words aloud, or to touch that lovely face one more time, but he is relieved nevertheless that fate chose him. It is the intolerance of their world that demands one of their lives, but Lan Wangji finds he cannot regret his actions, despite his life coming to an end. To have met Wei Ying was a gift, to have loved him was a blessing, and to die for him now is an honour. Even when he's gone, he knows Wei Ying will be taken care of; xiong'zhang would ensure that much even if he is powerless to stop the will of the Elders.

It should shock Lan Wangji how quickly he's made his peace with death.

Wei Ying's cries drown out his senses, and he wishes again that he could somehow comfort him. Of all the things that has happened since Su She discovered them in the back mountains, his own demise is one which he willingly accepts. Above all else, he refuses to go with a broken heart, because then it would all have been for naught.

Lan Wangji smiles. To spend the last moment on this earth in Wei Ying's arms is indeed not so bad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wei Wuxian feels it the second Lan Zhan grows still in his arms. Eyes closed, a smile lingers on his peerless face.

"L-Lan Zhan…Lan Zhan!! Lan Zhan!!"

He's still warm, pliant. Soon, soon he won't be. No, no Wei Wuxian refuses to let this be the end. It just can't.

Still holding onto Lan Zhan, he lunges forward and grasps onto Lan Zonghui's robe hem beseechingly. "Elder, elder please help him!" But Zonghui shakes him off.

Wei Wuxian glances frantically back and forth at the stone faces around him, desperation and despair brewing into hysteria inside him. Then, he finds it, the one pair of eyes not glaring at him in cold condemnation but pity.

Gently setting Lan Zhan on the ground, Wei Wuxian tries to get up, but his body does not obey. The back of his thin white robe is already soaked through, the vigor of his earlier movement having undone all of the healer's work. Too far gone to care now, Wei Wuxian crawls forward on his elbows and knees until he reaches Yu Ziyuan.

"Yu-fu'ren, please, please I’m begging you, give Lan Zhan the antidote! There has to be an antidote, right?! There can still be a chance - I'll die- I can die right now if you want me to! But save Lan Zhan, save him please! He is Gusu's Lan-er-gongzi, Gusu's Second Jade, my husband's little brother! I've already ruined my marriage, my reputation, my standing amongst the cultivators! Zewu-jun is kind and magnanimous, but even he won't want me now, especially if Lan Zhan is dead because of me! What is the point of letting me live?!! There is no future for me anywhere, but there still a future for Lan Zhan! Yu-fu'ren - no - shimu, shimu please, A-Xian has never begged you for anything in this life, please, if for nothing else than the fact I have been raised under you wings, help me save Lan Zhan, please…"

Madam Yu slowly bends down, hooking her index finger under Wei Wuxian's chin and lifts it up. "You would die for Lan Wangji?"

His face blotchy and snotty from sobbing, Wei Wuxian hiccups. "I - I would. Right now if you wish it."

There's a beat.

"Wangji isn't dead."

It is Lan Qiren that speaks. Yu Ziyuan releases him. Wei Wuxian twists around to see Uncle's hand pressed against Lan Wangji's left carotid. "Just out cold. You'd know if you thought to check instead of letting appearances fool you."

Disbelieving, Wei Wuxian struggles back to Lan Zhan's side to verify for himself. With trembling hands, he turns Lan Zhan over and gathers him in his arms. Though he knows there is nothing to fear, he still can't help pressing two digits to Lan Zhan's neck, checking to make sure the precious pulse is still there. Sure enough, Lan Zhan's heartbeat is strong and his breathing deep and unlaboured.

Alive.

Wei Wuxian blinks, still reeling from the mental whiplash of the sudden revelation, but the steady thrumming beneath his fingertip coupled with comforting sight of that warm, flushed cheeks give him the courage he needs to face what is to come.

Lan Zonghui steps up to him and says, "You said so yourself. There is no future for you. Now you understand now why it always has to be you." From his qiankun sleeve, he retrieves a small porcelain bottle.

The real poison. Wei Wuxian realizes, sagging in relief. The irony of his emotions is not lost on him.

"What did you actually give us?"

"A strong anesthetic."

"Then… how come I'm not affected."

"The antidote to the anesthetic was laced into your pain medicine, which the healers gave you before you were summoned," Lan Qiren explains.

Sleeping…he's just sleeping. Thank god, oh thank god.

Lan Zhan is alive. He's going to be fine. But…Wei Wuxian grows worried again, imagining how Lan Zhan will react to his death once he comes to.

"What will you tell him? When he wakes up, he's going to realize you've tricked him." Lan Wangji can be the most stubborn when he's fixated on a goal. There's no telling what he would do. "You have to… you have to protect him from himself."

"He won't know. We will tell him that one cup had the poison and the other an anesthetic. The poison is slow acting while the anesthetic is fast."

"He will question it. Why the anesthetic? Why the smoke and mirrors?"

Lan Zonghui looks from him to the boy lying unconscious cradled against him. "Does he really want to be awake to watch his lover die in his arms as you just assumed you did? We will tell him it's mercy, so that the remaining party won't have to watch the process happen. He will be allowed to say goodbye to you at the sect funeral. We will grant him that."

"Sect funeral?" Echoed Wei Wuxian, surprised. "You… Gusu Lan Sect would bury me with honour? Even after…"

"That is the compromise." It is a Jiang Elder - Jiang Liliang, Wei Wuxian believes -  who explains to him. "The Lans will recognize you as one of their own. No ceremony will be spared. In death, you will be given all honours and decorum befitting the husband of Sect Master Lan. The action of an individual should not affect the relations of two sects. This is a stance the elders of both our families unanimously share."

Wei Wuxian nods, understanding, finally calm after all that crying.

"I'm still worried about Lan Zhan. You must swear to -"

"Wangji will be under guard at all times until the funeral, after which he will be sent to sealed seclusion for three years. He won't have access to his powers or means to harm himself. Time dulls all pain. So too will Wangji's. Someday, you will just be a mistake of his youth."

A mistake of his youth…

Indeed.

Lan Zonghui picks up the cup Wei Wuxian had discarded on the ground and pours the content of the vial into it.

Wei Wuxian wonders what it actually is.

"Do you have any more questions?" Lan Qiren asks him, sullen but not unkind.

"None."

"Requests?"

Requests? Ah yes. Last rites. At least they let him have that, and if he may, there is in fact something he'd like to do.

"One."

"You may name it."

"Turn around."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'd like to kiss Lan Zhan. One last time. So unless you'd rather watch me do it, turn around."

"Look around you, you insolent scoundrel!" One Lan Elder whose name he can't recall cries out in anger. "You're in the ancestral hall, Wei Wuxian! How dare you?!"

But Wei Wuxian hugs Lan Wangji close and swallows his pride. For what seems like the thousandth time since he arrived, he begs, not for himself, but for Lan Zhan.

"Please."

He expects that even after his death, he would be the smear in Hanguang-jun's otherwise pristine history, but he doesn't want to be just that, not completely. This, he will leave with Lan Zhan. Even if only one kiss out of their thousands is sanctioned, it will still be better than nothing.

One kiss, just one.

Perhaps they understood him, for Lan Qiren and Yu Ziyuan turn away without further protest, and Lan Zonghui too. Grumbling, the rest of the elders follow suit, displeased and somewhat disgusted by his shamelessness, but Wei Wuxian is due to die any second now, so they allow him this one offense.

"Sleep well, Lan-er-gege, I've gotta go now," he whispers for no one to hear.

Their last kiss is slow, chaste, and Wei Wuxian prays.

Lan Zhan, for yourself sake, I hope you can slowly feel less for me. I would hate to know you spent the rest of your very long life sad. But maybe...don't forget me completely? How does that sound? Or else I'd be a very sad ghost…

Lan Zhan... next life, let's not be brothers-in-law, hm? If you want, I'll wait for you, however long it takes I'll wait. When we meet again, I hope it's still at night. I never did tell you how beautiful you were under the moon.

I promised, I would never leave you, so I won't. You have me, as long as you want, you'll have me. As long as you want me with you, I am not gone.

Wei Wuxian says none of those things out loud, but the soft expression on his face as he smiles down at Lan Zhan must've spoken volumes. This is a man close to death, and yet his smile is kind, soft, and sincere.

Lan Qiren makes a low cough in the back of his throat, telling him time is up.

Wei Wuxian presses his lips one last time to Lan Zhan's forehead, and lets him go.

"I'm ready."

The healers on standby transport Lan Wangji's body to the infirmary.

Lan Zonghui stands before him with the solution to this disaster.

Wei Wuxian knows that as long as he dies, all of this can end. A decision unanimously agreed upon by Yunmeng Jiang and Gusu Lan, to all those who hear of his story, his death will not be an unfair sentence. There is no bias. No undeserved blame. It is...it is Wei Ying's lot in life to be the one chosen by fate to die. The gods must've seen that Lan Wangji is good and worthy of redemption. As long as he dies, faith and righteousness will be satisfied.

"What is it?" He asks Elder Zonghui curiously. 鹤顶红? Crane's crimson crown? Probably. That is the most likely.

"天子泪."

Emperor's Tears. Wei Wuxian almost laughs. Of course, of course it is.

"It tastes like Emperor's Smile, but it is not. It is a gentle poison and will take some time to take its effect."

It's funny, Wei Wuxian muses as the jade cup is presented to him, how such a lovely thing is to be the instrument that ends his life. He accepts it with both hands, obediently, bringing it close to his lips. The familiar aroma of the clear liquid makes him smile.

He bows thrice, properly, his forehead meeting the marbled ground with a dull thud each time.

Wei Wuxian takes his last drink with the same vigour as he took his first. Eyes closed, savouring every drop. Then, clasping his hands before his chest, he draws all the energy in his body and rights himself onto his knees, facing the altar.

"I, Wei Wuxian of Gusu Lan, repent before the forefathers. May you forgive my transgressions and release me from my mortal sins."

And protect Lan Zhan. He prays. For I will no longer be able to do it.

Briefly, he wonders if there are Gusu Lan forefathers with a sense of humour. For all this to play out front of them, surely the less uptight ancestors must be thoroughly entertained by the dramatics of it all. Death, he imagines, must get boring after a while. In any case, he'll find out soon for himself.

.

"I'd like to spend my last moments alone."

.

Lan Zonghui looks to Yu Ziyuan and then to Lan Qiren. An unspoken agreement passes between them. One after another, elders of the Lan and Jiang clan vacate the ancestral hall. The heavy doors grind against the hinge, a low somber moan, as it is pulled shut, leaving Wei Wuxian kneeling amongst the candlelight.

The slow poison is not so slow. Perhaps in his reduced state, its effect is amplified, for soon after he is left to himself the air in his lungs begins to burn. A gush of blood surges up his throat filling his mouth.

If he's honest…okay, he's a little scared. Just a tad.

Hey demons, it's me. Eighteenth level of hell here I come…

In his last conscious moments, his thoughts linger on the sweet tang of Gusu's Emperor's Tears, and of Lan Zhan that very first night standing alone under the eave, away from the wedding festivities, an ethereal figure basked in the moonlight. There is a force pulling him down, and he collapses under the weight of it, right there in front of the altar.

The world is dark before he even hit the ground.

.

He does not hear the clash of Shuoyue's energy against the entrance, blasting open the doors, but he does perhaps hear the fainting voice of his sister calling his name.

A-XIAN.

.

Dusk falls, night arrives, and Wei Wuxian is gone.

---

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