#disabled protag

Chapters: 15/15 Fandom: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield Characters: Bilbo Baggins, Thorin Oakenshield, Thorin's Company, Gandalf | Mithrandir, Thranduil (Tolkien) Additional Tags: Aftermath of Violence, Major Character Injury, Blindness, Hurt/Comfort, Serious Injuries, Fantasy World Hospitalization, I cannot stress enough that despite magical healing elves this is a story about grievous harm, But also, Fluff, Romance, Friendship, Magic, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies Summary:

“Did you see Linda Spacey the other day?”

John had speared his cane between his legs, occasionally thumping the rubber foot against the floorboard to make some made-up beat. He liked to keep a hand on it at all times. It was vital to his appearance. His whole being. He liked to let his other hand drape out the window and rise and fall along the air current while James maneuvered the truck over potholes and around blown-out tire pieces or tumbleweeds. The road was open and abandoned, except for them.

“Yeah, I seen her,” James answered.

“I can’t remember if you two hooked up or not.”

“What, gross. Linda Spacey?” James scrunched his face around his nose. “Dude, she’s a cow.”

“What?” John asked with a surprised laugh.

“Yeah, you seen her. She’d crush me. Could pitch an eight-man tent with one of her dresses. Wrap me up in her tank top for my own mummy funeral.”

“That’s so fucking rude, Jamie. Linda’s really nice.”

“Yeah. Nice. I don’t do that wannabe Hot Topic bull,” said James and mimed smearing makeup around his eyes. “Bet you she has a whole closet of, like, fishnets and corsets and whips and chains and skulls and stuff. Nine Inch Nails music video things.”

“You thought about it a lot, have you?”

“No! Jesus, gross!”

“Say what you want. I saw you at Hodgkin’s party.”

“You didn’t see anything,” said James, turning red.

“I saw you go out to his barn. I saw who you went out the barn with.”

“No I didn’t!” He fell for the bait, burning bright as the sun. James flopped his hand out the window where it smacked hard against the door. “I didn’t, okay? You’re wrong. Okay?”

“Hey, I may be a cripple, but I ain’t blind, Jamie.”

“Holy good God. Shut. Up!”

“She a good kisser or what?”

“Oh like you would know. You ever get with anybody? Yer dick not work for shit or what?”

“Eh, I don’t need it,” John answered and smiled at the hills skipping by.

“That’s weird. You wanna talk about weird? That’s weird.”

“It ain’t weird, it’s normal. You’re weird.”

“Precious JD the Just Don’t Dick Virgin.”

“Yeah, dip wad, but at least I won’t get crushed by Linda Spacey.”