I work hard to hide my autism. Before each appointment I would guess at what questions would be asked and practice my responses. I would also prepare chunks of small talk that I could use. In the car on the way to my appointment, I would practice these phrases aloud to make sure their tempo and pitch were right. Within the appointment, I was prone to giving an answer that was easy over giving an accurate answer. I would come away proud that I had been “good” at the appointment.
But when my husband asked me what had happened, I wouldn’t know. What did the numbers on the front of my green file mean? I did not know. Were they measurements? Were they scan dates? I did not know. I was embarrassed and upset that I did not know. I had thought I would be “better” at being pregnant this time around.
Later on in my pregnancy my difficulties with communication meant I was not able to report symptoms that could have threatened my baby’s life.
