#directium

I have no idea what you’re talking about /discretion

As for touching all over Snow White, I used it as the base tale for Interrupted, but that’s not really the same thing given what it became, and I touched all over so many tales for Interrupted that I consider that a separate list than the ones I’ve given the Grifalinas treatment to. So. How would I go about giving Snow White the Grifalinas treatment?

So the main reason I avoid Snow White (and Sleeping Beauty) is because I’m not crazy about the somnophilia thing, so I think I would approach that from the angle of “how do I get rid of that in an organic way”. In this situation, I kind of work backwards: why does the somnophilia happen? Because Snow White needs true love’s kiss to break the curse, and for some reason a complete stranger she’s never met who kisses a dead girl because she’s that pretty counts for true love.

So in this case I think we start with “what if the dwarfs’ love for Snow White is enough to break the curse, what with them actually loving her and not being creeps who creep on dead girls in glass coffins?”

This is all well and good, of course, but this isn’t the Grifalinas treatment. This is just spinning the end of a fairy tale. So. We’re rid of our prince and the ending is different, so what’s next? Well, first of all, I’m genderbending Snow. I think rather than getting rid of her stepdaughter because she’s jealous of her beauty, the queen gets rid of her stepson because she wants the throne for her own children or something idk. That’s all setup it’s irrelevant. Moving on,

Okay so you know how there’s another Snow White in fairy tales? Snow White and Rose Red? I think I’m going to solve this problem by queering up a second story and blending those to together with elements of a third. This actually involves reinserting our ‘prince’ and the kiss, just with a twist. So here’s what I’m thinking:

In the forest where Snow keeps the dwarfs’ cottage after fleeing his stepmother lives the Big Bad Wolf. Not an ordinary wolf, rather a wickedly enormous wolf with an almost human intelligence and a red kerchief tied around his neck. The dwarfs are afraid of this wolf and warn Snow to keep away from it, but in the dead of winter he finds it half frozen trying to get into the cottage and lets it in to warm, and ends up giving it food and shelter every day during the dwarfs’ absence during that winter. 

On the last day of winter, the dwarfs come home early and find the wolf in their home, and when the leader attempts to take his axe to the wolf Snow flings himself between the axe and the wolf, which, you’ve probably already figured out who the Big Bad Wolf actually is- the act of devotion is enough to break the spell on the wolf, who transforms into a handsome young man. This young man, we learn, is called Red, and when he left the safety of the path and crossed wits with a witch he was cursed into the form we knew him in. It was Snow’s kindness that thawed his curse and eventually broke it.

Red informs the group that he’s been away from home for awhile and really needs to go home and tell his family that he’s not dead, but promises that he’ll be back once he’s able to, and he leaves the story for awhile, and we get back on track with the actual Snow White. I feel like sticking the Snow White and Rose Red plot in the middle is cheating, but we’re getting to the payoff.

So, the Snow White story goes as planned from here- the queen finds out Snow is still alive, and doesn’t want him turning up to claim his throne, so she goes to find him and finish the job, etc, etc. Snow offers hospitality to the old crone he finds in the woods, etc, the dwarfs come home to find Snow extremely dead.

Or so it would seem. Dwarfs are actually pretty magical and can tell the difference between death and magic sleep, so they set Snow up somewhere he can sleep safely and then go about trying to find a way to save him.

Fast forward to the following spring, when Red is finally able to return. He’s pretty upset to find out that his friend is in enchanted sleep, and kinda just moves into the dwarfs’ house to help them find the answer. At some point during this, Red is sitting by Snow’s bedside talking to him, and it’s very late and we get a very cliche trope that I love, which is character a spills their secrets to comatose character b, in this case Red telling Snow all about his secret backstory- he didn’t so much ‘wander off the path and stumble onto a witch’ so much as he left it deliberately to seek her out, and he didn’t so much cross wits with her as he challenged her to a contest where if he won she would grant his heart’s desire. He won, so she gave him his heart’s desire, but then for good measure she cursed him cause, you know, she’s a dick. His heart’s desire, as y’all’ve no doubt guessed, was to be a man, because I’m sure y’all were wondering where the trans element was going to come in. 

Vanessa Kimball, leader of the remaining citizens of Chorus, stands on a platform on the edge of the habitable area of Armonia’s remains. In front of her, on the other side of a podium, stands those remaining citizens- the former soldiers of both the Federal Army of Chorus and the New Republic, as well as some new arrivals. Behind her sit her advisors- the Red and Blue soldiers, Carolina, and Washington. Behind them, behind the platform, stands a single building, painstakingly repaired and restored. The front of the building is covered by a large cloth. She takes a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh as she steps toward the podium and it’s microphone.

“Thank you all for coming today. I know it’s not easy for any of us to be here. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Vanessa Kimball, former General of the New Republic and, now, the elected leader of the United Federal Republic of Chorus.” she begins, pausing for a moment and taking another deep breath to steady her nerves before continuing.

“Today marks the One Year anniversary of General Donald Doyle’s sacrifice and the destruction of Armonia to take out the forces of our enemy, Malcom Hargrove. It also marks the anniversary of end of hostilities between the Federal Army and the New Republic. Peace had been brokered before then, but it was a shaky peace until the moment that General Doyle gave his life to save us all. He understood, better than I did, that to survive, we just stand together as one.”

The crowed before her murmurs slightly, nodding in agreement.

“Today, we honor the sacrifice, not just of General Doyle, but of all of those who gave their lives to bring us to this point. Today, we begin rebuilding, retaking our city- our home. That begins here, with the dedication of this building, in their memory. This building is the first of many, the first step in the long healing process.” she continues, gesturing to the building behind her before she links her hands behind her back as Carolina and Washington stand, each moving to grasp a rope at opposite ends of the cloth.

“By the power vested in me, by you, the people of Chorus, I declare today the first national General Doyle Remembrance Day and, in honor of him and every other fallen brother and sister of Chorus, dedicate this building…” she begins, nodding once to cue the former Freelancers to pull the banner down. As they do so, and as the cloth falls to reveal the front of the building, Kimball lifts one arm to gesture to it.

“The Donald Doyle Memorial. Inscribed on the walls of the main room, behind the statue of General Doyle, are the names of every son and daughter of Chorus who fell in the fighting. Any and all donations to the memorial will go to a fund to help those of us who weren’t so lucky as the rest of us to come through the fighting as able as when they began and any of the families left behind of those who fell. Please, enjoy the memorial and look over the displays and memorials as you enjoy the rest of the day’s festivities. There will be a fireworks display later this evening.” she finishes, bowing her head briefly at the applause from the crowd before they behind filtering inside the building.

As the crowd makes their way into the building, Washington and Carolina make their way to her, the Reds and Blues also standing and gathering around her whilst a small group separates from the crowd and joins them, as well.

“That was a great speech, Kimball.” Wash says, offering the woman a smile.

“Thank you, Agent Washington. We couldn’t have done all of this without all of you helping us. You’re just as much to thank as our own soldiers are.” she answers, returning the smile.

“That is why, with the blessing of the Council, I’ve decided to name you all honorary citizens of Chorus. No matter where you go, or how long you’re gone, you all will always have a home here. That does, of course, extend to your families and fellow Agents, as well.” she says, nodding to Carolina as she’s joined by a man with a child perched on his shoulders and chuckling slightly at the expressions ranging from shocked to touched. Tucker is the first to speak, draping an arm around her shoulders.

“You just can’t bear to get rid of me, Kimball, admit it.” he teases, laughing. She rolls her eyes and slips out from under his arm, giving him a friendly shove.

I just saw this whoops BUT YEAH!! ROBOT MAN!!!

See, there’s nothing wrong with being shorter, there’s absolutely benefits to it!