#directdeportation

Hey, wow, you found my Tumblr. Well done, you savvy online detective*.

So what the fuck is going on, here? 

I should think it’s pretty obvious. I’m an immigrant in the USA. I’m profoundly disturbed by the new administration and the fact that apparently at least 52% of the voting population around me consists of racist fuckheads, so I guess it’s time to leave.

Great, so just GO already!

HAHAHA. If only it was that easy! The days of showing up at the border with only the colorful native garb on one’s back are long over – just ask any Syrian refugee how much success they’re having with that approach.

If 61 million wingnut motherfuckers are going to drive me out of the country, they can pay for me to go. And I’m taking the spouse, the cats, the tools we need for our respective careers - all of it. And that shit gets expensive – relatively speaking. Hell, if I could get one penny per Trump voter I could flat out buy my spouse a passport in the Olde Country**. As it is, I’m looking for a less than a hundredth of a penny per Trump voter. That’s a bargain, right? Right!

But, but, maybe you should STAY AND FIGHT!

Says the person who’s probably quite secure in the migration status. (And probably white.) I respect the people who aren’t frightened shitless by the 45th President and his régime, but I am – scared shitless, I mean - and the way I see it, it’s best if I get out of here before I get sent to a goddamn camp or something.

Crowdfunding is the big thing so, fuck yeah, I’ll jump on that bandwagon. $15,000 and I’m out of here in six months. $25,000 and I’ll be gone even sooner. There are reasons for the timing, but they’re none of your business. Seriously, they’re not. But you can learn more about the numbers in my next post.

Questions? Ask away. Answers are only guaranteed if you make a donation to the fund. Fuck yeah, I’m mercenary.  

PS. No, I won’t tell you my real name, where I am or anything of that nature. See “61 million wingnut mofos”, above.