Had an impromptu delicious thanksgiving dinner tonight. First time making my holiday dishes in more than 4 years. Felt so weird. It didn’t feel natural or enjoyable to make. Instead it felt forced and inauthentic because thanksgiving no longer holds the same meaning as it used to. Every year for the last four years, I try to create new meaning and perspective for thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas, New Years, and Easter but Ive failed to do so because the harder I try the more I am reminded of how lonely these holidays are when you have no one to celebrate them with. It finally dawned on me yesterday that my existence is truly a convenience for others and now having realized that I’m going to stop trying or not try as hard because it’s just not worth it. #nonthanksgiving #impromptudinner #unnatural #inauthentic #dinnerwithastranger #dinnerwithanacquitance #orphaneddinner #unfulfilling #thanksgiving #notworthit #dinner #convenientexistence #existenceoutofconvenience #existforothers #stoptrying #dinnerwithsomeoneidontknow #brownies #homemadebrownies #dessert (at Vancouver, British Columbia) https://www.instagram.com/p/BooBKNYhQpW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=136piwfp81n9g
