#die!add

“The Wardens, kek. They found us.” Lunatic's glare was full of dislike for Esper. “If it were up to me, I would leave yer sorry ass here for them to find, kek, but I need ya to complete Glave's damn quest chain.”

“Wardens, hmmmm?” Esper made a small humming noise as he woke up, his Dynamos coming to life as they heard the sound. “Aaaah, I've dealt with them before. You just need to jump into another dimension.”

“D'ya think I can do that?” Lunatic demanded angrily, bending down and grabbing Esper by his collar. With almost contemptuous ease, Esper was lifted off the bed and shaken back and forth. “Wake up and get us out of here.”

“Kekeke.” Esper chuckled softly, attempting to make it seem like the violent shaking didn't bother him. He really had to stop sleeping in his clothes, they gave Lunatic too much of a grip. “Let go of me, I can't rip a portal with you trying your hardest to shake me to death.”

Thank the El that he could land on his feet, as Lunatic dropped him like a hot coal. Esper's Dynamos flocked to help him stand straight in front of the furious brawler.

“Rip yer fuckin' portal,” Lunatic growled. One glance told Esper that the other man was nervous, especially when the air started to shimmer in warning of impending portals.

“Tch, such a pathetic annoyance,” Esper muttered. A wave of his hand commanded his Dynamos to begin running the diagnostic calculations for travel. A portal opened not three seconds later, and Esper decided to get a little revenge.

“Kahahahaha!” Esper shoved Lunatic through the rip in time and space, laughing aloud as the other screamed in shock. He was gone within a second.

Esper stepped through the portal himself as the Wardens' portals began to form, signaling the end of the rest period granted to them by Glave.

As Esper moved through the familiar vibrant shades of purple, he mused about Glave's mission for Lunatic. The masked magician had tasked Lunatic with finding one of his missing dice, not telling Lunatic that Esper had it. The point of the experiment was to see if Esper's other versions were as cunning as he was. Mastermind had been tested first – it had taken all of an hour before the researcher decided to scan Esper's person, finding the cube within a matter of seconds and taking it back to Glave. Lunatic, on the other hand, was a bit slower on the uptake. The two had been following Glave's cryptic clues for at least a day, and Lunatic showed no signs of cottoning on.

The Wardens were just an added challenge, to test Lunatic's ability to think under stress. Glave had rounded up demons that had standing grudges against Lunatic, disguised them in human forms, and sent them off to chase the brawler.

The familiar rushing sensation overtook Esper as the journey neared the end. Esper braced himself for impact, the two shields on either side of him coming in closer to his body. He closed his magenta eyes. The last leg of the journey always made him feel nauseous.

A couple seconds later, the violent swirling sensation ceased. Esper warily opened one eye, his Dynamos automatically scanning the surroundings for any type of threat to their master.

There was none. They seemed to be on a high, rocky outcropping, and a sheer drop surrounded them on all sides. The sound of breaking waves could be heard.

Lunatic was on his hands and knees, looking queasy. He apparently hadn't learned yet to close his eyes during the last part of travel. Esper laughed at the sight.

“Shuddup,” Lunatic growled, attempting to stand. “Where the hell are we? Ya put in the correct coordinates, didn't ya?”

“Of course I did.” Esper kept his voice and face controlled as Lunatic got to his feet, dusting rock powder off his knees. “Kek, this isn't exactly my first time traveling.” The smile that spread across his face was more than slightly insane. “Pun intended.”

“You're sickening.” Lunatic looked around. “Where the hell are we? Is one of Glave's clues even here? Kahaha, if it's not....”

“I suggest you look,” Esper yawned. He raised a hand in a signal to his Dynamos, sitting down on the comfortable seat that they configured themselves into. “I think I'll catch up on my sleep, kuk, since someone dragged me so rudely out of bed.”

Lunatic's suggestion of what Esper could do with said bed was quite graphic. Esper laughed as Lunatic began his search.  He's got spirit. I'll give him that.

====

Lunatic was going to kill something. Preferably soon.

He had searched the entirety of the rock outcropping twice, his Dynamos scanning every crack and crevice for anything that had a remote trace of Glave. There was nothing whatsoever.  Is this where I tell Esper that the cube's in his pocket?  Lunatic's gaze darted over to the other version of himself, who was currently humming a tune as he stared into space.  He's insane. But then again, aren't we all?

Lunatic wondered again if Esper knew that Glave had slipped the die into his pocket, knew that the weapon had been with them all along. Maybe this was some weird experiment that Esper had decided to spearhead, somehow getting Glave to go along with it. I can't figure out why he would lend out one of his dice, though.

Lunatic had played nice. He pretended to take on the mission, pretended to work with Esper cluelessly. Esper hadn't shown any suspicion. Now, though, Lunatic was getting bored.

He made another round of the rock, even going so far as to use his Dynamos to lower himself and search the sides. Nothing.

That's it. I'm blasting this rock apart, he thought as sea spray flicked against his ankles. His palms were flat against the stone, and he stood on the hovering platform made by his Dynamos as he prepared his Nasod Armor.

He would have done it, too, had Esper's scream not sounded from the top. Lunatic's head shot up, studying the lip of the rock as he debated whether to go up or not. Could be another trick. But there was no harm in checking, so Lunatic cautiously commanded his Dynamos to slowly lift him up.

Esper was struggling against the grip of a much taller, stronger man. His Dynamos were useless without commands, either from movement or sound. The man's hand was over Esper's mouth, and he held a white cloth over the time-traveler's face. After a few seconds, Esper's weak struggles stopped altogether, and he slumped in the other man's arms.

“Let's get him back for the payment.” The voice belonged to a woman, standing on the edge of the rock opposite from Lunatic. “You sure there's no sign of the other one?”

“Nope.” The man hefted Esper over his shoulder, looking in disgust at the Dynamos and shields that had fallen to the ground with Esper's departure from consciousness. “What do we do with these, may I ask?”

“Leave them. The client said nothing about weapons.” The woman turned sharply, and Lunatic edged farther down the rock face. He recognized her, but didn't know from where. “Pity we can't find the other one. Maybe if you weren't so useless at your job....”

“I'm sure it's all my fault,” the man said smoothly and sarcastically. With Esper over his shoulder, he turned and waved a hand in the air.

Oh, no you don't.

Lunatic activated his Nasod Armor as he jumped, landing momentarily on the rock before launching himself towards the woman. He barely saw the look of surprise on her face before he kicked her off the rock, spinning around to face the man.

“Put him down,” the berserker spat, fists clenching. The sight of Esper's limp body provoked a strange surge of protectiveness in Lunatic.

The man stopped dead as he assessed the new threat. Then a growl grew in his throat.

“You.... You wiped out my friends!”

Huh? Lunatic's confusion slowed his reactions as the man dropped Esper like a sack of flour, fumbling at his side and coming up with a knife.

“Bastard!”

Lunatic nearly didn't dodge in time. The thrown blade glanced off the metal plate on his left shoulder instead of lodging itself in his neck, as it clearly had been meant to do.

Pathetic, Lunatic chided himself, and he jumped forward, his Dynamos moving to the front of his body. He hit the man with a stunning frequency, then launched him up and sent him flying away.

He didn't fly for long. Lunatic was on him in a second, punching him down to the ground and beginning to hit him. It only took four armor-reinforced kicks before the man went limp.

Lunatic pulled his foot back for another blow, ready to send the man after his counterpart, when the body started shimmering. The man seemed to be melting into a shadow.

What the...?

Lunatic only saw a quick flash of a shadowy demon before it disappeared. The rock in front of him was bare, and the only sound was the distant crashing of waves.

“Kahaha?” That entire encounter hadn't made much sense to Lunatic, and he let out a confused laugh as he turned to Esper. The other Tracer was still on the ground, one arm flung out where it had landed when he was dropped. His Dynamos and two shields lay scattered around him, one shield half on top of him.

Lunatic walked over to the time-traveler, reaching into the pocket of Esper's armor and bringing out Glave's die. A quick examination proved that it was indeed the thing that Glave had sent him to find. Odd, though, that Esper had it. What the hell is going on here?

Esper's hand twitched. Lunatic poked him curiously, but the time-traveler didn't respond.

“So what the hell am I supposed to do now?” Lunatic wondered aloud as he sat back on his heels. “It's not like I have a way to give the die back.” He looked around, and as an afterthought, said, “Assuming I'm even in the correct dimension, kek.”

Annoyed, he shook Esper. “Get up, damn ya! I've got questions for ya, kah!” The time-traveler stayed limp, and Lunatic's annoyance grew. A quick command to his Dynamos had them zapping Esper with purple electricity. By the second shock, Lunatic was worried. What if Esper was dead? For some reason, that seemed like it would be terrible in more ways than one.

Whatever the case, Lunatic rolled Esper over to check his breathing. He was breathing in and out with steady, though shallow, breaths.

“So you're alive.” Lunatic thought for a moment, then commanded his Dynamos to apply a jolt to Esper's unprotected face.

Esper screamed as he bolted up, nearly smashing his forehead into Lunatic's nose. Somehow the collision was avoided.

“Kuhuhuhuhu, what the hell was that?” Esper looked around wildly, his Dynamos starting to float towards him. “What happened?”

“The Wardens found us,” Lunatic said through gritted teeth. “And I found something very interesting in your pocket, kek.”

Esper raised an eyebrow as Lunatic pulled out the die.

“Mind explaining what this is?”

Lunatic was expecting Esper to freeze and begin stammering. At the very least, he wanted an apology – he had played along for a day and a half, wasted 36 hours, for absolutely nothing.

He wasn't expecting Esper to chuckle and stand. “The experiment is complete.”

“You aren't the first person to say that.”

Mastermind looked up, startled. A smirking Psyker was leaning against the wall, his angular Dynamo hovering around him.

Psyker's grin grew wider at the expression on Mastermind's face. “Oh, come on, don't be that way! It wasn't that bad, kek.”

“You haven't fixed the heating system yet, have you?” Mastermind asked. When Psyker shook his head, the Mastermind returned his gaze to the screen and told Psyker exactly where he could go and what he could do to spend the time there.

Psyker was silent for a couple of seconds, admiring his other form's diversity of vulgar language. “If it bothers you so much, why don't you do it yourself?”

Mastermind looked up, barely keeping his temper under control. “Because I simply love turning into a popsicle,” he spat. “Kek. No. I have no inclination to freeze my ass off outside trying to fix your stupid mistake. And speaking of that, why the hell were you testing Doomsday on the roof, anyways?”

Psyker opened his mouth to reply, but was cut short as Mastermind's Dynamo flew past his face with a mug of coffee for Mastermind. Gritting his teeth, Mastermind gave them a mental nudge, jostling their flight path just enough to flick scalding liquid in Psyker's face.

Now it was Psyker's turn to swear, madly rushing to the sink, pulling off his gloves, and splashing cold water on his face. Mastermind watched in satisfaction as his Dynamo placed the cup in front of him.

“Kuhuhuhu, what's this?”

“Go away, Esper,” Mastermind said automatically, going back to his screens and cross-checking a piece of suspicious data.

The time-traveler didn't move, surveying the calm Mastermind at the table and the pissed-off Lunatic Psyker. “What happened, LP?” he asked.

“That bastard spilled coffee on me,” Psyker growled. Mastermind knew without looking up that Psyker's glare was directed at him.

“My Dynamo do not react well to cold temperatures, kek. The jostle in their flight path was an anomaly I'll have to fix.” The lie was an insulting way of letting Psyker know that it was completely purposeful. All of the geniuses had taken temperature into consideration when creating their weapons.

When Mastermind next looked up, Psyker was giving Esper a glance like, Can you believe this guy? Esper looked like he just wanted to get out.

“So, kek, why is it so cold in here?” Esper tried to change the subject.

Mastermind raised an eyebrow. “Because a certain moron decided that testing out his Hyperactive on the heater was a good idea.”

“I'm not a moron!”

“Oh, what would you like me to call you, then? An idiotic, slimy, low-lying piece of-”

Esper's Dynamo closed in protectively, sensing his desire to open a portal and leave the two to their bickering. He spoke under his breath, ordering them back to their previous positions. He couldn't let this turn into an all-out fight. He had visited worlds where Mastermind and Psyker killed each other over less important arguments than this, and it was never pretty.

“You-” Esper was drowned out as Psyker raised his voice, yelling.

“We all know the reason you hide behind your drones, Mastermind! It's because you're too weak to fight, and too dumb to develop something else to help you!”

Mastermind's Dynamo quivered in anger. “Kkkkh, you're the guy who punches everything that moves,” he spat. “And you call me dumb? Keke, you wouldn't know dumb if it pole-danced in front of you in the shape of Elbrat!”

Esper really did NOT need that image in his mind. He rubbed his forehead, thinking. Perhaps it was time to use the blackmail he had so carefully collected.

Mastermind stood up angrily as he heard Psyker's latest taunt, which involved a fair amount of creative swearing. “That's it, kek! You-”

Suddenly, Esper was between them, laughing maniacally. A rip in the air quivered behind him, giving Mastermind a glimpse of purple and black.

“Pathetic! You're both so pathetic!” Esper laughed. “Fools, complete and utter fools. Don't you see, kek? Do you have no idea what you have done for each other?”

Mastermind was stopped in the middle of his insult. He stared at Psyker, horrified, as Esper's laughter echoed through the room. Blessed El, if Esper knew about even one of the times he had checked up on Psyker while the other man slept..... And that was the least embarrassing.

He swallowed. “Esper, what, uh, brought this on?” His Dynamo swirled around him, their master not sure whether to attack or run and hide.

Esper ignored Mastermind, turning to Psyker. “Kek, should I start with you, LP?”

“Please, no.” Psyker's eyes were pleading, and some of Mastermind's nervousness was overridden by curiosity. What is he hiding?

“Oh, I think I will,” Esper purred, still half-laughing. “What about the times when you've called out his name when you awake from a nightmare, before you know what you're doing? Or the time that you stole the headband he wore last year, with a few of his his hairs still stuck in it, just to have something of his? Or-”

“Shut up!” Psyker was blushing profusely, stealing glances at Mastermind. Mastermind was nonplussed for a moment, then a flash of realization hit him – is Esper referring to me?

Esper shook his head slowly, taking a breath to continue laughing. “Kahahaha, even breaking the heater was a lie. You weren't practicing your Hyperactive, kuku? No, you were trying to find a way to create a complete AI. The experiment went wrong, though, didn't it?”

“I said shut UP!” Psyker's Dynamo weapons flew downward into position, ready for Psyker to activate them with a kick. Mastermind spoke up before the Lunatic Psyker could act, curious.

“You don't work with AI, though. Why were you trying to create one?” he asked.

Psyker froze, and Esper turned to Mastermind. The long-haired Add wanted to run when he saw the crazy grin on Esper's face. “Because he wanted to give it to you,” he laughed.

Mastermind's brain seemed to short out. What....?

“Of course, it's not like you're any less obsessed.” Esper chuckled. “You're the one who follows Psyker secretly when he goes out to run dungeons, quietly eliminating anything that could kill him. You're the one who finds yourself listening at his door during your late-night coffee runs, curious as to what he's doing. You're the one who planted a blood-sensing drone just outside his room, so that you'll know if he ever comes back with horrible injuries. And do I even need to mention the fact that you kept his old Dynamo?”

“They're for research purposes.” The researcher tried to defend himself, but judging by Esper's knowing look, he fell short.

“Of course,” Esper purred, before falling silent, seemingly happy to survey the damage he had caused. Mastermind glanced uncomfortably at Psyker, his Dynamo pressing closer to him in embarrassment. He didn't even try to process what he'd learned about the inventor.

“How.... How did you find this information?” Psyker was still blushing ferociously. From the heat in Mastermind's face, he was no different.

Esper sneered. “I control time and space, imbeciles. Why would it be hard for me to watch you now and then-?”

Mastermind cut him off. “Were you stalking us?”

“Kek, what a stupid question.” Esper tried to scoff at the accusation, but stumbled over his words.

Psyker cracked his knuckles, somehow making the gesture look completely natural. “You were stalking us. What, is there a bit of a crush going on with your end?”

Esper fled without another word.

As the portal closed, Mastermind returned to staring awkwardly at Psyker. The brawler stared back, absentmindedly clenching and unclenching a fist.

Mastermind was the first to speak. “Did he.... Was that....true?”

Psyker's silence was a reply in itself.

Mastermind pressed his lips together. “If you want your old Dynamo back, I can get them for you,” he offered stiffly. In all honesty, he didn't want to give them up, but he didn't want Psyker to think he was a creep.

Psyker shook his head. “I have no use for them now, kek. Would you like your old headband?” The offer was as stiff as Mastermind's had been.

One of Mastermind's Dynamos rose to tap the band circling the back of Mastermind's head. “I replaced it with this, remember? Perhaps you can learn something from it,” he offered.

Psyker shrugged, and the chilly silence returned.

Mastermind suddenly realized just how cold it was in the room, and twisted suddenly to look at the thermostat. It was just a few degrees above freezing.

“Would you mind working on the heater with me?” He rushed the words out of his mouth, not looking at the lunatic he was addressing.

Psyker's heavy footsteps crossed the kitchen. He passed into Mastermind's field of vision, checking the thermostat for himself. “Bloody hell.” He seemed to share the same aversion to eye contact as Mastermind, carefully staring at the temperature. “We should probably work on that.”

Mastermind turned on his heel, walking out of the kitchen. “You might want a jacket,” he called over his shoulder. “It's cold out.”