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diaryofaskinpicker replied to your post: I never thought I’d see my own demon, ...
must be an old book. What are you studying?
Apologies for replying 5 months late! I hardly ever check this blog.
This book was only 2 years old :( Â I went on our class forum and wrote about how damaging this classification is. I think I did our little community justice.
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Well, clearly not everyone who picks has had bad parents, but research has shown that many do. Picking is closely associated with anxiety, and unmet needs and trouble expressing oneself. So there doesn't need to be trauma, but it can be any troubling event, like a divorce, move, injury or something else. Other people become pickers just because of genetics, but that's not understood too well yet. Still, there has to be a reason why you find it soothing, so therapy helps to discover the "why"
"I find people with skin picking disorder have controlling & invasive parents almost exclusively"Â
That's what I have an issue with. Just because many people can fall under this category doesn't make it exclusive. This can be said for any compulsion or anxiety disorder, as traumatic or troubling events increase your anxiety levels. CSP is still a pretty unknown, unresearched, and generally misunderstood as it is. I'm not saying that therapy can't help those with issues relating to these kinds of events, or even those who pick purely for genetic reasons. Therapy is great, but many people can't afford therapy or don't have access to therapists who understand CSP. Soothing is also not the word I would choose in describing picking.Â
Well, since I reviewed that other article, I may as well review Diary of a Skin Picker's guest post of the Trichotillomania Learning Center's blog, which you can read here. In the post, Skin Pick Guy (as I will refer to him, since that's his e-mail/twitter handle, so I don't think he'll take offence) gives his account of being a male with dermatillomania, a perspective which we can often be hard pressed to find in the dermatillomania community. To start with, I personally think that we are hard pressed to find these perspectives for a similar reason that is mentioned in the post: guys tend to be more secretive about these things. I think the why to that fact though is because guys aren't supposed to have problems. In the post, Skin Pick Guy mentions how women are expected to be skin pickers, which of course means that men are not. Women are expected to have problems. We're expected to be emotional and irrational for that, so of course we're going to have issues. Men, on the other hand, are expected to have it all held together and therefore not have any personal issues. That's one of the biggest stigmas that men have to fight, and I think that translates into having dermatillomania too, of course.
And maybe that's why guys aren't asked as much about "what's wrong" with them when they have marks all over their face for instance, which is something Skin Pick Guy also mentions. Because guys "shouldn't" have any problems, then clearly the marks must be nothing to worry about. It may just come across as trivial. I agree to some extent when he says that women are also expected to have perfect skin (suggesting that men do not), but I think that applies to men, too. I can think of dozens of commercials that promote perfect, clear skin for men, I think maybe men just sometimes hide it better when they are affected by these commercials. So maybe it's just a matter of men not wanting to talk about this either because they "shouldn't" be affected by these things because they're men and yadayadayada macho macho man (please excuse this misplaced bit of humour).
In any case, I could relate to Skin Pick Guy in some regards here. One being the makeup situation. Although I'm a girl, I've never worn makeup, beyond playing around with it when I was a kid. But as for the daily ritual of putting on a mask, I can't be bothered. And when I pick at my face, I get really self-conscious about it, too, and suggestions from other pickers about makeup don't really help me either. I, of course, don't have facial hair under which to hide the damage, so he's got one up on me there. I can see how the shaving excuse would be handy, too (women can use that one too, just for other areas of their bodies, like legs).
I don't really know what else to say about the post except that it's refreshing to have a male perspective, to see the similarities and differences between men and women dealing with this disorder. I only know of one other male (on facebook) who is pretty outspoken about his struggles with dermatillomania, and I think more men ought to speak up, especially considering the loving support of the dermatillomania community. You may find a lot of comfort and compassion, like I have, and like Skin Pick Guy says that he has.
I suggest you all go take a gander at his guest blog post (and then his own blog if you haven't already). I know I for one continue to admire how willing he is to speak about his struggles and dealings with dermatillomania and his willingness to help others through that.
I'm sorry I don't have more to say, but I'll leave you all with this quotation from Skin Pick Guy's post.
"We all have our distinct challenges, but I think that the most important thing is to help each other."
Hi there, saw your post about the anon who said the doctor said they had "chicken skin". Just wanted to let you know it's not name calling or anything, it's an actual condition more commonly known as keratosis pilaris. It's a skin condition (also called KP) that makes the skin look like chicken skin, like tiny dots. You can Google images and see what it looks like.
Ah, seems there was more to it then! Thanks for sharing. That’s an unfortunate (and rather stigmatic) name for the disorder, but that makes more sense, as there are many dermatillomaniacs that I have also seen suffer from KP.Â
‘Chicken Skin’ anon, let it be known that you are simply the victim of unfortunate naming.Â
diaryofaskinpicker replied to your post: [TW: Abuse] Question: do therapists/psychiatrists...
No, therapists are only under obligation to report child abuse and sexual abuse for children under 18. But you shouldn’t feel afraid to talk about abuse with your therapist, no matter what.
to-purge-or-not replied:
Also, I would make sure the therapist explains their limits of confidentiality to you so you can be sure!
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Dermatillomania Community
Hi there, just saw your post about dermatillomania, and wanted to point out that there's a really excellent community here. Everyone seems to use the "dermatillomania" tag and there are lots of us that just blog exclusively about derma.
Take a look at mine, and look around at some others too. I'm starting to compile a list of Tumblrs that focus almost exclusively on derma tips, recovery and support.
Take care!
