#diary7

140716: Community Service Right after school,the gang planned to go to our friend's house to chill in, meaning with alcohol on the table... Brandy as it is. I'm with him on our way to our friends house, it was raining and I have nothing but my snap back on my head, it was very thoughtful of him to offer his jacket to me to cover myself but I managed to refuse and let him use it, I know he's more tired than me and he easily catches cold. A purely friendly concern... don't wanna assume things but I just can't get rid of it.. Sweet bones cracking out of me. At RC's house. While waiting for the others, he ask me to take a picture with him, again I'm assuming things here... :< Unfortunately it was too dim for us to take a pic. When the gang was complete, we started right away, everyone took a shot except for those people who don't drink. Frustration from love hits me so I took it with one shot without any chaser. I think I took 4 or 5 shots before they decided to play drink-or-dare, silly of me to play around and pretend that I'm already drunk and they were easily tricked, but it turned to be on the wrong way around, they didn't let me join the game but I ask them if I stay calm for 30 mins they'll let me join again. So the game begun, silly dares done... until 30 mins was over, but still they don't let me join until it ended. Then he suggested to open up things 'bout his "love life"... and that's where it'l begun. He said that he still loves him up until now, that he was regretful for the things he did that causes the other HE to snob him... that he eff'in LOVES HIM! :"( <//////3 while he was saying those words I was out in the balcony because I can't take the mood inside but I can still hear him loud and clear. I cried. I FUCKING CRIED. AGAIN. I hate this , I regret on getting my eff'in feet here. So I decided to bid goodbye already. I reasoned out that I have to go home 'cause my mom called awhile ago. Bry accompanied me in going home 'cause they don't really want me to go on my own. I have to release pressure so I told him things 'bout awhile ago and so as him. We exchanged thoughts and regrets and hurt... Big thanks to him I felt lighter. Thinking on my actions while I was laying on my bed, realizing things that I regret and think of the things that I will do for the situation.  "I don't have the right to be mad on anyone. After-all it was I, who created my own problem..."