#diary19

A few days ago I couldn’t shut my head up and was seriously considering suicide and now I feel nothing and can’t form words on what was so wrong

141108 I haven't interact with him since rv's sister's birthday... I'm missing him very much. I was so excited to see him again and give him a big bear hug. It was Kath's birthday so we're all heading to their house to surprise her. Good thing it went well. The gang was eating at that moment when he became cranky and sit on people's laps including mine, this urge of hugging him went too high the moment he sat on my lap , I was going to hug him but decided not to, cause he might feel awkward and I don't want that to happen. He left early because he was going somewhere he bid his good bye to me. I really want to hug him so tight to let him know how much I miss him. But there's this feeling saying that I should not. 😞😞😞😞