#dhmrtblr

"Your Honor: It is now over. This has never been a case of trying to get free. I didn't ever want freedom. Frankly, I wanted death for myself. This was a case to tell the world that I did what I did, but not for reasons of hate. I hated no one. I knew I was sick or evil or both. Now I believe I was sick. The doctors have told me about my sickness, and now I have some peace.. I know how much harm I have caused...Thank God there will be no more harm that I can do. I believe that only the Lord Jesus Christ can save me from my sins...I ask for no consideration."

Jeffrey Dahmer in his grandmother’s house, recorded by his father.

“I just get angry with other people who think they have a right to somehow try to blame my parents for what happened. That’s not right at all. No one has the right to do that because they’re totally innocent. They had no knowledge of it. And that angers me. There comes a point where a person has to be accountable for what he’s done. Can’t go around making excuses, blaming other people or other things. So I alone am the one who is responsible for what’s happened. The only motive that there ever was was to completely control a person—a person I found physically attractive. And keep them with me as long as possible, even if it meant just keeping a part of them.”

By the time Jeff was two years old he was talking. He called himself ‘Jeffy’ and held fingers up to indicate his age. He could also say ‘potty’, ‘Up pease’, and ‘TV’, and within a few more months had memorised his first prayer. The words of the prayer were. ‘Now lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. God bless everyone. Make Jeffy a good boy. Amen.’ 

“I don’t know why it started. I don’t have any definite answers on that myself. If I knew the true, real reasons why all this started, before it ever did, I wouldn’t probably have done any of it.”

“Nothing else gave me pleasure towards the end, nothing, not normal things, especially near the end when things just started piling up, person after person, during the last six months. I could not get pleasure from going out to eat, I just felt very empty, frustrated, and driven to continue doing it. None of these are excuses for what I did, but those are the feelings I had in those last months, really intensive. For some reason, I kept doing it. I knew my job was in jeopardy around February. All I would have had to do was just stop for several months at a time and space it out, but it didn’t happen that way. I was just driven to do it more frequently and more frequently until it was just too much- complete overload. I couldn’t control it any more.”