#dfdali

I still wanna have Jack Fenton fucking emotionally keel-haul Bruce before this chapter ends soooooo we’re looking at around 20k again and now I’m racing my birthday!

Which is this month!

Weeeeeeeeell good news bad news?

Next chapter is over half done and I’m trying to get it out before year end

But

Uh

I finally got Bruce and Frighty where I fucking wanted them we at 7k (zees chapterrr ees CUUUUUURSED) and NOW

Now I have to fucking GO BACK and REWRITE THE BEGINNING because UGH it is SO much funnier if DAMIAN suspects Jason knocked Cass up

And then Dick tries to explain why that’s impossible (trans Jason wins but ALSO Lazarus magic)

And Damian just stares at Dick like “you know Jason has a penis now right”

And just

Bluescreens Dick into next week

Cuz sure Damian is vaguely aware it’s not original equipment but he has heard Jason AND Talia say it’s fully functional

And THEN Dick has to text Jason to BOTH explain to Damian and Cass that Jason a) Is Not Pregnant and b) Cannot Impregnate People

And then JASON gets to wonder for the first time “wait this dick came out of magic goo SHOULD I be worrying about knocking people up???”

Cuz Danny 10000% does not know the answer to that but he DOES know ghost pregnancy is a real possibility with absolutely no genitals present at all so they get to have THAT discussion

THIS REVELATION COULD HAVE COME IN FUCKING FEBRUARY

Anyway if I’m suffering you’re suffering so

———————

*post ghost transformation heart to heart with Tim*

Tim: hey Jason, did you ever wonder why I never cared about you calling me “Replacement”?

Jason: ……. I mean not high on my list of questions at this moment but sure?

Tim: because that was literally my goal. To be a temporary replacement, a stand in until you came back, or a new Robin appeared

Jason: Tim that is fucked up but also Damian?

Tim: a new happy Robin. Someone to be the light to Batman’s shadows. Because Bruce was killing himself and he was killing Batman along with him

Jason: okay touche I heard it got rough but

Tim: my ideal scenario was that you’d come back

Jason: *dying inside* *oh no he fucked that up so bad*

Tim: and I knew I was never going to actually, really replace you. That nothing I could do would change that you were gone. Just like Bruce being around sometimes never changed the fact that my parents never were

Jason: *well on his way back to his grave* *staring at Tim for like ten whole minutes of “what the fuck”* …. Okay but if you ever want Bruce fucking dead you just say the word kid I’ll make it happen

BOTH the original Dead and Loving It and the porn parody locked in stasis by me still not having decided about Jason’s genitals

Because goddamn ghost-pregnancy jokes and fucking with Dick are really funny either way

But like

On the one hand:

Cis Jason, Dick temporarily utterly confused thinking Jason knocked someone up (and maybe thinking for .5 seconds it was Cass because Communication)

Trans Jason, Dick temporarily utterly confused but immediately suspecting Danny knocked Jason up (and potentially voided some Talia-funded modifications)

(Talia’s gonna let her boy yeet any body parts he likes he was in the assassin cult ain’t nobody gonna tell him he’s too young for surgery)

And listen

This DOES mean we might be about to unlock All Systems Go on the porn parody

Because I gotta make up my mind this chapter apparently

But UUUUUUGH

Mad about it

Because like. Dick trying desperately to explain to Cass and Damian that cis!Jason physically cannot be pregnant: very funny

But also. The reason trans!Jason came back 6’ tall and built like a fridge being because Talia finally let him ute yeet and take T: also very funny

……. Dick trying to explain to Damian and Cass that Jason cannot be pregnant because he had a hysterectomy? Maybe?

I don’t know how much this will sway me but by all means SWAY BABY SWAY

Bonus points if you can make an argument in literally any direction

“Every time Danny and Jason try to meet up in public it is a ferocious race to be the first to spot the other so they can text “I see dead people” to them”

This is not fucking relevant it cannot go here but AUUUUUUGH