#devotion!verse

@chamsp Hi again! Thanks for another so kind, so lovely message! I haven’t heard of this film but I will definitely have to check it out 😊. In general, I tend to develop the concept for a story because a scene pops up fully developed in my brain, and then I build the story around it. How do we get to that place, and what comes after? Sometimes the scene is enough for the whole story (like in My heart feels like a ghost), sometimes it’s a little piece (like in Last Call). That’s definitely true here—one very crystallized scene was the first piece my brain gave me, so I started to build and plan the story of how we get there.

I also wanted to write a ballet AU because I’ve always loved ballet, and in particular I’ve always found the male ballet dancer “body type” to be extremely artistic and beautiful—long lines, lean muscle, incredible strength, those fucking thighs tho, etc. I look at lots of male ballet dancers on Instagram because I like to look at them, so I guess it just followed from that interest. I’d also been wanting to write stories that played with (imbalanced) power dynamics and naive teenage infatuation, so this story will allow me to get into those elements. And some other people out there in the lovely tumblrsphere that I’m friends with are very into ballet dancing Sam/Jared, so their excitement also made me excited!

Lastly no, I don’t have any dance experience whatsoever. One of the reasons it can take me forever to write is that I do a lot lot lot of research in an effort to get terminology right and treat something they way it would be treated by a person with experience. I’m more successful sometimes than others, for sure. But I know nothing drives me more crazy in a fic than someone getting factual information wrong that could EASILY be found by a single google search. I’m particularly sensitive to this in lawyer/law school student AUs, since that’s my profession and I’ve been through law school. But it bothers me everywhere because I’m a jerk.

I’d love to share some actual story words with you, but as mentioned earlier, I basically deleted everything I’d written to start over, so I’ve only got a bit of the chapter opening written. That being said, I can tell you perhaps a few general things?

As planned now, the story will have 6 parts. Jensen will, naturally, get progressively more abusive as time goes on, and that abuse will stray further from what is “reasonable” for a very strict tutor into strictly sadist sort of territory.

I don’t plan to write this original set of stories from Jensen’s point of view at any point. You’ll only get Jared, and Jared’s way of understanding and dealing with what he experiences between himself and Jensen.

Which is a shame because I have some information and details about Jensen that I consider to be just juicy and I don’t know will ever see the light of day. It’s possible I’ll add them into a note at the end of the story (so they won’t spoil as you’re reading), or post something about it here, or keep it all to myself forever. The future is a land of uncertainty.

Jared will learn to dance en pointe. Jared will not be very happy about it.

Probably the most explicitly violent scene I’ve got planned involves caning.

Um…I don’t know what else to say. But if you have any kind of specific questions, please feel free to ask more things! This is just sort of what’s generally in my head at the moment.

Thanks for your question, and thank you for supporting my work!

It’s second on my to-do list right now, after finishing Know the Feeling. Unfortunately the beginning of this year has been super busy for me - I was home with a computer for 2 weekends in January and 1 in February and that includes time to do my taxes and stuff. Seriously, my Christmas tree is still up. Plus I’ve been having a little bit of a hard time in life generally that’s led to me having to spend a lot of personal/free time on not fun things. Writing my most recent little soulmate AU was a nice way to get back into things though so I am working!