Living alone and owning every piece of clothing Ive fantasized of wearing would solve most of my problems

Why does one have to be miserable to feel seen, to deserve support, to be appreciated? Why can't I be happy AND shown that I'm loved?

When crying in bed; all cold, miserable and pathetic, being held by a friend seems warm and nice, but lasts only till you realise that friend lives only in your mind and nowhere else. That in reality, you're lonelier than the sky on a moonless night.

I never knew my introverted ass would say this but: I NEED PEOPLE IN MY LIFE