#determined face

the relief that comes with learning the balance of being kind but not to a fault, understanding that being kind to others first begins with being kind to yourself, that kindness is not and should not be an equivalent to dishonesty, that kindness shouldn’t mean suppressing a greater truth for the sake of saving other’s feelings, is really unbeatable. at some point to live in the kindest way you have to realize certain truths you’d maybe rather not, tell people things that might not Seem nice but are better for mutual growth; there is nothing nicer, more loyal, than telling the people you care about that you've been hurt by their actions. your pain is not for a greater good, you are not an unnecessary martyr, there is no kindness that exists in silencing yourself or even being a bystander to avoid confrontation when there are bad things going on around you. let your kindness be the most balanced kindness that has ever existed! love but not obliviously!

It’s been hard to write since the finale, aside from my initial grief over Theon. I think bc I write canon divergence and missing scenes, it’s hard to just write “Theon lives” fix its because so much was wrong with S8, I don’t feel satisfied with the rest of verse Theon lives on into. Everything from Bran as King to Dany’s random descent into madness to the Starks scattered across the globe to Jaime abandoning Brienne to Yara Fucking Greyjoy accepting a Westerosi king sits wrong. I don’t even want to rewatch the season to get ideas. But I also still really like writing about Theon. The writers block is so stroooooong. Trying to write other things has gone kaput lately. Must find a way to crack on.

That moment when it really hits you that, yes, you are seriously going to drop at least $350 into fabric for something you will probably have next to no opportunity to wear ever because your selkie ancestor, whichever one she was, possibly the one who had the affair with Lord Byron, who knows?, took her coat with her back to the sea with her rather than leaving it for you to inherit, so you have to make your own.