CS Fic Rec Monday:Â âMy Green Eyed Girlâ by @zaharadessert
This week I just had to pass along this short MC I enjoyed some months ago and just recently re-read. Itâs such a unique characterization of Emma (something Iâve seen done well with Killian several times, but never for Emma ;) and such a creative way for them to meet and get to know each other. I loved the interesting way the story unfurled, the use of the supporting characters, the pining in a completely different way that usual, and of course how it all works out for a lovely happy ending.
If youâve missed this one, donât miss out any longer!!! And @zaharadessert I hope youâll accept my cover art gift to go along with the rec. :)Â Enjoy!
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if you live by the word, you die by the pen -- CH13 (AKA The Conclusion)
SUMMARY: Â Itâs just another day with bad coffee, the day that Sheriff Swan enters Detective Jonesâ precinct.
The fact that his life is about to come apart at the seams is purely incidental.
With apologies to Dashiell Hammett and James Ellroy, iâm playing in their sandbox and iâm taking the bucket and the shovel. Â You guys can keep the rake.
AO3 Â (if you want decent formatting, because tumblr does not).
.
A/N: OMG. i did it. ITâS DONE.
i realize in the grand scheme of things this means nothing - especially not these days, but--- hey, you take your wins where you can get them and---
 i. AM. DONE.
(i feel like a full orchestra should have accompanied that last sentence.) đ
i am giving you the entire rest of the story, epilogue and all, because i have made you guys wait enough. Seriously. i canât believe youâre still with me. You are the awesomest.
And watch out. This may be the most furious battle iâve ever written. Strap in, because itâs gonna be a bumpy ride to the Happy End. BUT. i promise you - promise you - that bit of darkness iâm going to run you through? It will be worth it in the end. Â
So, to all of you - but especially my lovely @jennjenn615ââ - trust me one more time, OK? Please?
All right. HERE WE GO.
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Thanks first and foremost to @profdanglaisstuffââ who holds my hand every time i go off the deep end, but most of all - this is a story chock full of linguistics, and she is a linguist, and it would not have happened but for her. Guys - if you enjoyed this ride, thank her.
Also all my love to @katie-dubââ who is my Isle of Man connection and all-around superwoman, and @ohmightydevviepuuââ who on most days makes Hercules look like a lazy bum and has waited nearly a year for this to get finished. Does anyone even remember that this was her birthday fic?
i DO.
iâm sorry it took so long, honey.
And thanks to everyone, every single one of you reading -- lurking or flailing, quiet or loud -- THANK YOU.
Thank you for coming on this ride with me. If you need me, iâll be over there with a shot of whisky.
đđđđđđđđđđđ.
With extra love for @captainsjediââ, for the incredible art that started it all.
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If you want on or off the tag list, let me know! Â (And seriously - if itâs âoffâ - please donât worry. Â Absolutely no hard feelings.)
The wind howls around them, thunder rolls so hard her bones rattle, the lightning cracks as if rending the fabric of space-time itself, and Killian---
Killian.
Heâs standing with his arms around her, holding her while the world around them tears asunder, and she has never been this afraid. This is terror the likes of which she could never have fathomed, because she realizes in a long, slow, excruciating moment that to fear for another person is infinitely worse than to fear for oneself, and she is so
soÂ
so terrified for the man wrapped around her.
Heâs looking at her, blue eyes calm and steady, even in this absolute cacophony, looks at her and holds her tight and lets warmth pulse through both of them, warmth and strength and the first sliver of hope, and then----
 With a deafening crack the air around them splinters .
A long tear, blacker than the thunderclouds overhead ratchets down an invisible seam and grows larger and larger until it is a bubble wrapped around the rooftop, dark and ominous and howling, and through the darkness comes a figure
the figure of a man, no---
the figure of
a boy.
A blond boy, tall and skinny, not far into his teenage years.
 âAh,â he says, stepping down to the concrete. âFinally.â
He is dressed like the hunters in medieval fairytales - brown and green clothing meant for camouflage in verdant territory, leather and wool and rough linen and he lifts up his hand and the howling, the lightning, the thunder all stop .
The bubble holds, a ball of iridescent, swirling black, blocking out the town around them, wrapping them in a silence so complete, it does not seem part of this world. All Emma can hear is her own rapid, frightened breathing, and Killianâs lips next to her ear whispering, âSteady, love.â
There is no sound but what they make.
 The boy walks up to them both as if he were taking a stroll down the well-manicured lawn of a country estate, blithe and carefree, except that his swagger has a touch of gunslinger to it. He looks at them both. His smile is wide and utterly vicious.
âLook at what we have here,â he says. âThe Savior.â He rolls the word Savior in his mouth like a piece of candy while his eyes flash briefly and his smile becomes wider and sickly sweet. âWhat a pleasure it is to finally meet you, Emma Swan.â
He knows her name. Â
He knows her name . Â
Emma canât move.
She can no longer feel Killianâs arms around her, can no longer feel the warmth between them. She is paralyzed, petrified, frozen.
Far far away she can feel Killianâs lips next to her ear, just a breath, IAmHere .
Emmaâs brain goes numb. Itâs impossible. Sheâs not even here. Sheâll wake up, and when she does she will be in her bedroom, turning over to hit snooze, because none of this is real.
The boy laughs. Itâs a terrible sound. Then he lifts his hand with a look of extreme concentration in his eyes, and Emma can feel her entire body start to tingle as if a low current was running through it. It feels like thousands of ants running under her skin, tickling and stinging and almost painful, and Killianâs arms wrap around her more tightly, as if he can feel it, too.
And then it cuts out all at once, and the boy lowers his hand.
âAhhhh,â he says, an exhale of profound satisfaction. âNow that is what Iâm looking for. Your magic is---â He cocks his head and smiles, a terrifying, cartoonish grimace. â Compatible .â It sounds like heâs tasting something delicious.
He licks his lips. Emma canât look away. Â
He leans forward, his voice an intimate whisper. âAnd I will suck you dry of every last bit of it. Every last shred of magic I will suck from your marrow, so I really hope youâll do better than the last one. As a matter of fact, letâs start with an incentive.â
 And he flicks his hand.
Lightning strikes like the crack of a whip, rips Killianâs arms from around her, throws him backwards,Â
sheer momentum towards the edge of the roof, and he stumbles
and he stumbles
tries to hold on to the edge, but his fingers miss,
she can see it
she can see him
and then he
falls
 And all Emma can hear is herself.
Screaming.
-/-
âWhat. Just happened.â
Augustâs voice is pure steel and when he looks at David his eyes are just as hard. David nearly flinches. And then he realizes, fuck . Heâs in charge here. He is the deputy. A deputy who just watched his sheriff, his sheriff and a Boston detective disappear into thin air, and fuck .
FUCK .
He is in no way equipped to deal with this.
But he is in charge, and itâs time to cowboy the fuck up.
Now.
 âAsh,â Elsaâs voice is thin, bordering on hysterical. âCheck for ash, check where they were standing, please---â Â
She falls silent, drops to the floor and lets her hands roam the dirty station linoleum, wiping the floor with her fingers, almost manic, as she repeats, âPlease, please, please----â
âHey,â August says gently and kneels down beside her. âElsa, stop. Stop.â He very carefully takes her wrists, doesnât let go when she tries to pull them away. âElsa.â He says again. âThere is no ash.â
He holds up her wrists, so that Elsa can see grime and dirt on her fingers, but no cinders of any kind, and whispers, âThis is not like Liam.â
And Elsa leans forward and presses her hands to her eyes.
 For a long moment they all listen to Elsaâs labored breathing, and then she frees herself from Augustâs embrace and looks up.
âA spell,â she says. Her voice is unsteady. âIt was a spell. Killian accidentally read it out loud.â
David can see Ashley shake her head and mumble, ThatâsImpossible , can see Mary Margaret, her mouth a perfect, round O , can see Elsa, tear tracks on her cheeks and the doctor going WhatTheFuck , and then comes right back to the flint in Augustâs eyes.
âWhere could they be?â Elsa sounds even more unsure now, and Ashley says, âDid those two just vanish? â
And then, like a dam breaking, everyone starts to talk all at once.
Itâs a wall of sound and noise, absolute bedlam, until David can no longer hear himself think and he yells out loud, âEVERYBODY SHUT UP. NOW! â
And the room falls quiet.
 August smiles and nods at him and it gives David courage. Not much. But enough.
âOK,â he says, going to the locker by the door and opening it. In it is a bank of fully-charged walkie talkies. âWe donât know what just happened.â
He looks at August. August nods again.
âBut we saw Emma and Killian fucking disappear and they have to be somewhere .â
Elsa nods.
Ashley nods.
He canât see Mary Margaretâs face, because sheâs wandered over to the triskelion map.
âNow - in case they are in the vicinity of this town, letâs look. OK?â
This time everyone nods.
David starts to hand out walkies. Â
âEverybody switch to channel two. You guys take everything north of Main Street,â he points at Victor and August. âAshley, you and Elsa take everything south. Mary Margaret and I will---â
âCheck the woods,â she cuts him off. âLook.â She points to the map. âI didnât realize it before, but hereâs the cabin. The cabin where Leroy stayed before he disappeared. Where you found the first set of notecards.â
And then she puts a pin at the center of Grahamâs triskelion.
-/-
There is a moment.
A moment of pure peace and tranquility and the knowledge that his life is complete. Because he has loved.
It strikes him then, like the hammer to a bell, that this is what his life comes down to. The fact that he has loved. That he loves . Within the presence of pain and the absence of reason, the paths taken and missed and abandoned, the faces he can no longer remember and the ones he can never forget, he has loved. He has been loved.
The warmth inside him explodes, wraps around him like a cocoon of pure happiness and an armor of strength as he stumbles, backwards, with force,
through no will of his own
pulledÂ
pushedÂ
and then----
 Itâs all right, Emma.
I love you.
 He hears a scream, hears something tear behind him, hears a whoosh and a crack and thenÂ
heâsÂ
falling
-/-
âDo you hear that?â
Mary Margaret holds up a hand and David stops in his tracks to listen. Â
âI donât hear anything,â he says.
âExactly.â Mary Margaretâs brow furrows. âThis isnât quiet. November woods are quiet, obviously. There is much less animal activity in winter, but this is not quiet.â She looks at him. âThis is silence .â
David tilts his head and tries to pay attention and realizes that Mary Margaret is right. There is no wind nor rain, no creaking of branches nor cracking of underbrush, and no trace of the thunder and the lightning they heard back at the station. Listening to his surroundings is like falling into a well; an oppressive, muzzled, claustrophobic absence of sound. Â
Mary Margaret takes his hand. Squeezes it like sheâs holding on to him and he squeezes back just as hard. There is something out here, something unnatural and sinister, keeping the very air around them in a choke-hold, waiting for---Â
Whatever it is, it is not good. He knows that much for sure.
 âLetâs get to the cabin.â All David can manage is a whisper.
It looks like all Mary Margaret can manage in return is a nod.
Then she lets go of his hand and turns to lead them away from the toll bridge, away from the river, and into the woods. David loses his bearings in less than a minute. The surrounding trees block out any view of the sky, not that it would have been of any help; itâs cloudy and the light is diffuse, coming from everywhere and nowhere. There are no shadows. Itâs impossible to tell the direction of anything. Â
And then there is the silence which is just getting worse.
He can hardly hear Mary Margaretâs movements, and sheâs only a few feet ahead of him.
Can hardly hear his own breathing, his own footsteps; even the fabric swish of his clothes is muted, off, distant. It feels like his body doesnât belong to him.
 âHey,â he tries to say, but it comes out garbled, a sound without meaning, and he feels a spike of panic. Mary Margaret is speeding up, walking faster though terrain familiar to her, but not to him, and he is falling behind. Trees have already obscured her twice.
âWait,â he tries again, but again there is no word, there is just muddled frequency, like the mumbling of adults in childrenâs cartoons. In front of him Mary Margaret is not slowing down, he can see the sleeve of her red jacket loping slightly left and he tries to catch up, but he canât, not quite.
Panic spikes harder and then he lunges, takes two running steps, three, and then launches himself forward, catches the hem of Mary Margaretâs anorak, just barely, but he can feel fabric, closes his fist around nylon and gore tex and they both go down hard.
 âDavid!â Her eyes are large and worried, and her body feels very small underneath his.
Her exclamation gets swallowed by the air around them. There is no resonance at all. No reverb, no echo, the sound does not carry.
He is inches from her face and almost doesnât hear her.
She stares at him, fear creeping into her features, as he tries to catch his breath.
âIâm so sorry,â he says. He can hardly hear the words inside his own head. Then he leans down to whisper directly into her ear. âSomething is out here.â
He feels more than sees her shake her head. Â
âNo.â She has put her own mouth to his ear in turn, and he feels her warm breath tickle. Itâs such a small, mundane thing, but itâs comforting. Â
She takes a deep breath, and then adds, âThis is not the presence of something. It is the absence of something.â
-/-
âWill you stop that ,â says the boy standing before her, and snaps his fingers. Emmaâs scream is cut off like a clipped string, and she gasps.
âDonât worry,â he goes on. âHeâs not smeared across your pavement.â The boy smiles. Itâs vicious. âYet.â
He licks his lips, grins at her. His features, his limbs, his body give the illusion of a male not yet in his twenties, but the square of his shoulders, the arrogant ease of his bearing, the twist of his cruel mouth all beg to differ. In his movement is power, in his posture command, and his eyes--- his eyes are ancient.
This is not a boy.
This may not even be a human being.
 He points up at the tear, blacker than black down the sides of the iridescent bubble, and says, âNo, Emma Swan. Your boy is somewhere else entirely.â Â
Emma feels cold, colder than she ever has, feels the absence of Killian like a physical thing, like a soul-sucking, bone-chilling vortex of despair, and she canât move a muscle.
Killian fell, fell like he did in every single vision, and she couldnât stop it, should have stopped it, and what does he mean, somewhere else entirely ?
How on earth does he know her name?
 He cocks his head as realization hits Emma and smiles his vicious smile again. There is an odd, childlike glee about him, which supports the impression of boyishness while it emphasizes how very much he is not one. Itâs completely unnerving.
âWhat do you say we dispense with the pleasantries,â he adds with a casual wave of his hand, âand get down to business?â
And Emma finds herself nodding. Â
âGood,â he says. âThen let me introduce myself.â His smile becomes genuinely gracious for a brief moment as he takes a mocking bow. âMy name is Peter. Peter Pan.âÂ
Everything inside Emma constrics as if squeezed by a gigantic vise. Her heart actually skips a beat, and then stutters as it starts to beat twice as fast as before.
âAhhhhh.â Pan raises a mocking eyebrow. âI see youâve heard of me.â
 Yes. Well. Emma has read the book.
Years ago in the back of a decrepit library, hiding from the psychological warfare battleground that is every middle school cafeteria, she read a book about a boy who did not want to grow up. To have this âboyâ now standing before her, cruel and dirty, with his depraved smile and his eyes older than time and imbued with magic strong enough to tear the fucking fabric of reality , itâs simply too much.
Emma laughs out loud.
Itâs thin and forced and lodged firmly south of hysteria, but itâs hers, and itâs sound, sound sheâs making of her own free will, and it breaks the trance.
 Something inside her rises, a steel core of pure will, because Killian is not out there on the pavement, he is somewhere else entirely , which means he is not dead, and she is not alone, and she is not losing him, not losing anyone to this figment of a story that should never have been told. Â
Because we all must grow up, sooner or later. Growing up is the point.
 âI have heard of you, boy ,â she says, and hardly recognizes her own voice. Panâs eyes narrow, but before he can open his mouth she adds, âAnd you already know who I am. So letâs do dispense with the pleasantries. Why are you here?â
-/-
It is dark. Darker than night.
He can just make out the tops of tall trees all around, a dark slope of hillside, and the rushing of fast water.
He is on the toll bridge.Â
Except that itâs not the toll bridge. This is not Storybrooke forest. Itâs an echo of Storybrooke, a shadow version of it, devoid of light and life.
Killian shudders. Itâs cold. He feels the absence of warmth, of Emma, of--- any living creature. The only reason he can see anything at all in this starless, moonless darkness, is because of a soft glow that comes from the railing of the bridge. He steps closer, and sees light, weak and faint, but there, emanating from the bottom of the bannister.
He crouches, remembers a different toll bridge a lifetime ago where he also crouched, where he reached for a wrist of warm skin and a pulse beating in time with his own.
Even if he didnât know it then.
 And then he leans back and looks up.
And there they are.
Runes, along the length of the railing, underneath the bannister, just like the ones up in Storybrooke, on the real toll bridge.
Ogham script runes.
Glowing.
-/-
âItâs really quite simple.â Pan leans forward. âAnd Iâve already told you. Not that I owe you any kind of explanation.â He quirks a vain eyebrow. âNeverland is running out of magic. The wellspring is running dry.â He licks his lips. âYour magic will replenish it.â
 The wellspring is running dry. Emma can see Killian sitting at Davidâs desk, notecards in front of him, speaking about water eternal .
Neverland is real.
 Her insides coil like a spring of a different kind. âWhy not just take me then? Why kill all those people?â
Pan rolls his eyes. âDo you think I can just waltz into the Land without Magic any time I damn well please?â Â
âThe Land without--- what do you mean?â
âOh, youâre such a human, â Pan scoffs. âYou guys always think youâre the only game in town.â
Emmaâs head is spinning, and she cannot stop thinking about Killian, and there is no spark.
âThis is not like sending my shadow to snatch little kids from the comfort of their beds.â Panâs eyes narrow. He is angry. âIt takes power and skill to break the barriers. To travel between any realms is extremely difficult unless youâre a mermaid--- â the word is loaded with almost lethal hatred--- âbut to enter the Land without Magic is damn near impossible. Because, as the name suggests, it doesnât have any magic. â
The last sentence lands like a lead balloon at Emmaâs feet, and she feels the truth of it, the inevitability. There is no magic. There never was.
âThen why are you here?â The questions stretches out into the unknown. Forever. The black iridescent bubble pulsates softly, but it doesnât move.
There is no time here. Emma can feel it. The absence of time passing.
The absence of forward movement.
The eternal now.
 âI am here because every once in a while, you do get someone with a spark.â
A spark. There is no spark.
âAnd if a spark of magic is powerful enough to surface here, in this realm, devoid of all forms of it, well---â He licks his lips again. âThen that is just the spark I need.â
He straightens up, looks at her with utter condescension.
âNow then, Emma, â he sneers. âIt has taken me considerable effort, not to mention vast amounts of Neverland magic and energy to breach the walls of this realm for a second time. Letâs see if youâre of more use than the last one.â
Elsa on a couch in her living room, surrounded by dozens of pictures of a smiling dead man, saying in that low voice full of infinite sadness, âIt told me to unleash my magic.â Â
Saying, âIt said it was here for my power.â Â
Saying, âI didnât know and I couldnât do what it asked, and then my husband died.â
Sobbing.
 There is no spark.
 Instead, Emma remembers.
Something else.
-/-
On a deserted road near the north side of the town line, a medical examiner and a psychiatrist look at each other, exhausted.
The ME picks up the walkie strapped to her belt and presses the talk button.
âWe got nothing up here,â she says. âHow about you guys?â
 Near the southern end of that same town line, a doctor and a former detective look just as exhausted and the ex cop shakes his head.Â
âNothing,â he responds. âAnd weâve covered every scrap below Main Street.â
 âYeah,â comes the reply. âSame here. What about you, David?â
 They wait, the four of them, two north and two south, wait, but nothing happens.
Static cracks twice, leaves the silence even quieter than before each time.
And then with a burst of white noise all the walkies go dead.
-/-
The runes are Ogham but the language is nothing Killian has ever encountered. It is neither Old Norse nor Manx nor anything heâs ever seen. It seems to not even be made up of words, it is merely lines representing sound, sound without meaning, and he shudders again.
It is so, so cold.
 But above him the runes are still glowing, and he shakes his head and takes a deep breath.
What does he have to lose.
He exhales slowly and starts to read them out loud.
-/-
âNo,â Emma says, and looks at Pan. âThis is different. You just said you breached the barrier for the second time, but--- I donât think youâve been here before. Not physically.â
 Elsa talking about the sparks and the howling resolving into words, and all of them, every last one of the people involved with this case calling the culprit âitâ.
None of them have seen this Lost Boy.
This is his first time in the Land without Magic.
 âShe was weak .â The disdain and pure hatred in Panâs voice are absolute. âDo you know what it cost me? To reach into this soul-sucking void and siphon enough energy to even attempt to open the rift?â
âSiphon enough---â Emma gasps. â Thatâs why you killed those people? For their life force?â
âWhat else? I needed massive amounts of energy, needed it to power complicated spells and massive magical forces, and itâs not like you have any other power source in this vacuum.â He sneers. âAnd then I had her, I almost had her, and she failed. â
He looks at Emma, eyes burning, deranged.
âShe was bound to your laws of physics and science. Couldnât imagine anything outside of it. Couldnât fathom the very concept of magic. Not even when I ripped her husband through a tear in your precious space-time continuum.â He leans towards Emma, his face inches from hers. âI thought it would bring out her spark like it has yours, but nothing. NOTHING! â
 The last word is a scream, and then Emma feels it.
A small frisson of energy, pulsing in time with her heartbeat.
-/-
In the complete and utter silence that surrounds them, Mary Margaret squeezes his hand again, hard, and David looks up. Â
There it is.
The cabin. The cabin where it all began.
They walk up to it together, hands linked, and David would give anything to be able to go in alone, to leave Mary Margaret out here, outside, out of danger, but he knows she would never let him. He looks at her, jaw clenched, eyes narrowed with a look of pure determination, listening even in this absence of sound, all senses on high alert, and realizes---
He needs her.
He needs her to do this with him.
He cannot do it alone.
 The stand still before the entrance and she looks at him and nods. It means more than he could possibly tell her. His jaw muscle jumps as he reins himself in and then nods back and squares his shoulders.
They enter the cabin together. It looks exactly the same. Evidence numbers still mark blood spatter and fluids, thin shafts of light fall through small windows, the silence around them is absolute, and then David hears it.
Hears it.
From far, far away comes the sound. Of a voice.
-/-
He looks at her with those blue eyes and that soft smile. Like sheâs the only person on the planet.
âI know you can do it, love.â
His voice is warm and sure and he takes her hands.
 Emma opens her eyes and feels it
feels it
the spark, the flame, and the roaring fire,
she has power
she is power
and no boy demon with a god complex and a complete disregard for human life will tell her what to do with it. She will save those she can and mourn those she canât and she will get Killian back from wherever Pan sent him, because she deserves this, she deserves to have this one, good, beautiful thing in her life, and because she loves---
 She turns and looks straight at Pan and he flinches. He is afraid. It causes a thrum of extreme satisfaction inside Emma, and then she feels it.
Warmth.
Pulsing.
Oh, yes. She is power .
 âWhere is he.â Her voice is steel and flint and no mercy. âTell me.â She watches Pan shrug, but it looks more like a shudder. âTell me now. â
The boy who isnât squares his shoulders and raises his hand and Emma can feel energy, sharp and volatile, flowing from him, trying to counter her own.
âI donât know,â he says.
Itâs a lie. Emma knows lies. And his power is no match for hers. Â
âTell me,â she says again, and then Pan lifts his other hand.
 With a crack the tear in the bubble opens and out pours power ,Â
so much power,Â
jagged pulses stabbing at her, ripping through her, around her, tearing at her like carnivores to the slaughter, and in the middle Pan, smiling, harnessing, focusing it, until it becomes one flowing line, directed at her.
Emma can feel electric arcs flash between her fingers, a crackling of energy as her spark explodes , and then they burst forth in a solid beam of bright white light.
 The warmth inside her rises, pressure so hard it pounds in her temples as she tries to control the beam, as she tries not to think, as she strains to aim it at Pan, but then---
A strike of lightning, a bolt of pure power, blindingly blue and viciously acute, hits her square in the chest.
It nearly breaks her in half.
It cuts off her breath, forces the air from her lungs, doubles her over. The energy flowing from her hands cuts out with a pop loud enough to burst her eardrums and dissipates and all Emma can feel is pain.
 âDid you think I wouldnât come prepared,â Panâs voice hisses, âdo you think youâre the first person to think of fighting back?â
Emma falls to her knees. Tries to get air into her lungs, but all around her is static, arcing in buzzing, humming flashovers, and she cannot breathe .
The force coming at her is so strong she feels like sheâs being torn apart from the inside, her cells straining to hold together and not let her disintegrate into an aerosol spray of blood and lymph and lipids, and still it comes
still it comes---
 âYour power is mine , Savior.â Panâs voice seems to come from everywhere at once. Â
Emmaâs body is screaming. Her heart is hammering so hard it may actually beat out of her chest, and then suddenly the energy changes and starts to pull from her.  Â
It feels like everything inside her, everything she is and was and ever will be is being sucked out into an endless void and she can feel her power, her life force, her very essence torn from her straining cells like marrow sucked from a bone---Â
gushingÂ
spouting
hemorrhaging
draining her down to a useless pile of bones
it hurts
so much
 Emma screams.
She gasps like a fish on dry land, tiny, useless bits of air, as her fingertips sputter and fizz, as she tries to get up, as the warmth seeps from her spasming body, she howls---
a sound of pure and desperate frustration as she tries,Â
tries,Â
tries to get up ---
 âI am so tired of your theatrics,â Pan says, disdain dripping from every syllable. âNow shut up and serve your purpose.â
And he snaps his fingers.
 Blackness swirls out from the tear, blacker than night, blacker than death, and she can feel it wrap around her, can feel herself being sucked into a vortex of nothing, a void of silence and grief and despair and she suddenly realizes.
She is going to lose.
-/-
As Killian reads, the runes start to glow brighter, start to hum, start to vibrate and warmth, warmth starts to spread through his frozen limbs, so he keeps reading, his voice steady, his thoughts on Emma, and the warmth spreads and spreads and fills him until he feels her,Â
he feels her
fighting, straining, with everything she has, just outside of,
just outside of---
 He can feel a presence behind him---
.
âDavid!â Mary Margaret screams and suddenly the voice echoes all around them, speaking words David doesnât know, canât place, canât even tell apart, but the voice is warm somehow, steady, not threatening, and then----
light explodes into the cabin
brighter than sunshine, brighter than daylight, and Mary Margaret links her fingers through his and stretches out her other hand, towards the light that curls around her fingers, wraps around her arm, and grows brighter and brighter
he can feel it
pulsing
feeding off of him and the woman holding his hand, but David
is not afraid----
.
Down the deserted roads to the north and the south of the town line, two people each watch in awe as a bright white beam of light shoots straight up out of the forest and into the sky, lighting up the dark clouds, burning them away, and then curves,
curvesÂ
gracefully
towards the center of town
towards the roof of the town hall
and then something screams, loud enough for them to hear it, over a mile away
and then a black cloud explodes, wisps and wings and streams of darkness torn asunder, still screaming, dissipating
and four people break into a run----
.
Emma feels it the moment before it hits, feels a surge of warmth and more energy and then a bright beam of white light pierces the bubble and tears it to shreds and there is the howling sheâs heard in her head,
there is the blackness, the wind, and the red sparks,
there is the heartbeat
 Across from her is Pan, his face a grimace of pain and fury,Â
behind him is the tear, starting to glow
around her wrap the tendrils of light that splintered the bubble
and she can hear the outside world again, can feel that heartbeat that isnât hears, can feel Elsa and Ashley and Victor and August out in the streets of Storybrooke, looking for her, for Killian, for them,Â
can feel David and Mary Margaret, love and power, inside the beam
can feel herself becoming this power
and then
she hears his voice, his voice , calm and steady and oh so lovely, as it speaks to her in sounds she doesnât know but somehow understands and she turns
steps forward
and pushes, pushes Pan backwards, towards the edge of the roof, towards the tear that is now white light and flame pulsing
and Pan screams as she hauls him with the strength of her whole body, he howls as she throws him and the tear swallows him whole----
 But it doesnât close.
There is something inside of it.
Something reaching out to her, a heart beating with force, desperate, hopeful, until that heartbeat is everything she hears, everything she feels, and with her last burst of energy she reaches into the tear and starts to pull
pullÂ
pull
Behind her the door to the rooftop opens and they spill out of it, Elsa and Ashley and Victor and August, but she doesnât see them, doesnât notice, because she can feel him now
she can feel him
and the heartbeat splits ,Â
separatesÂ
becomes two heartbeats
as she pulls and pulls and pulls and pulls
and Pan is still howling, trying to claw back to her side
and August is holding on to Victor who is holding on to Ashley who is holding on to Elsa who is holding on to Emma as she pulls
and pulls
her bones and muscles and tendons screaming
screaming in pain and pressure and tension, but she is not losing this
she is not losing him
 and then
everything
shattersÂ
.
When Emma opens her eyes the sky above her is blue. Thereâs not a cloud in the pale November sunshine. A soft, chilly breeze caresses her face.
The world is still, but not silent.
She can hear slow movement and groaning as the people around her struggle to their feet, and she sits up.
Itâs an ordinary rooftop. Not even very high. There are no signs of battle.
To her left August and Victor are pulling each other up, and behind her she can hear Ashley and Elsa asking âEverybody all right?â, and in front of her, near the edge of the rooftop---
 âEmma?â
 She starts to sob, because heâs there, scruff and wild hair and worried blue eyes, heâs here, heâs here , getting up and wiping his hands and walking towards her and she has never ever ever seen anything as wonderful, as amazing in her whole entire life as this man who hauls her to her feet and hugs her and hugs her and hugs her until heâs sobbing, too.
âI am never letting go,â she says.
âI donât want you to,â he replies.
 They stay like that, for minutes that feel like hours, his nose in the crook of her neck and her head buried in his chest, until Emma hears another voice say, âKillian?â
 This is not a voice she has ever heard before.
It doesnât belong to any of them.
She looks up and sees a man stepping forward from behind a fan casing, a tall man with close-cropped brown hair and haunted eyes and a puzzled expression on his face, a face Emma has seen smiling and laughing inside a hundred picture frames, his eyes glued to Killianâs back and then next to her Emma can feel more than hear Elsa take a ragged breath, and another, and whisper, âIt canât be,â and then August bolts forward to catch Elsa as she faints.
 And at that moment the rooftop door opens and expels David and Mary Margaret, stumbling, winded, Mary Margaret trying hard to catch her breath, and then David says, âWhat did we miss?â
.
.
.
EPILOGUE
âAs far as I can tell itâs gone.â
Emma holds up her hands. Bare hands, utterly ordinary. There is no spark.
Killian simply pulls her back against him. He has not been out of contact for the last 24 hours and if Emma has anything to say about it, he never will be. She still feels warm only when pressed against him, feels the peace of hearing his heartbeat when she lays her head on his chest, but there is no spark.
She is happy there isnât.
âDo you miss it?â Killianâs voice is soft.
âNo,â she says. âI never really had it.â
âI love you.â He smiles at her. âI love you so much.â
They are wrapped around each other on her couch, her ratty, comfortable couch, in her wonderfully comfy warm living room, and she never wants to move another muscle.
âI love you, too,â she says. âDo we have to leave?â
âYou know we do,â he says quietly. Â
Emma groans.
But heâs right, dammit.
-/-
Everyone is already at the station when they get there.
 Elsa and the tall man look like theyâre trying to occupy the same space. The man briefly breaks away to give Killian a long, hard hug, and then gravitates right back to Elsa as Killian moves right back next to Emma.
There will be time for them later.
August is still wiping his eyes off and on.
 âLook,â David says, because someone has to break the silence. âItâs not like we can ever tell anyone what happened.â
âOr fully understand it,â says Mary Margaret.
âOr fully understand it,â David echoes. âBut I figured that maybe we want to talk about it once, while weâre all still together.â
âAnd have slept.â Ashley grins. âOr at least I slept. Some people in this room may not have.â
She gets up and walks over to Elsa and the tall man. âIâm assuming youâre the famous Liam?â
He nods. âI donât know about famous, but Liam I am.â
Emma smiles and Elsa rolls her eyes, but then she returns Emmaâs smile with such a brilliant one of her own, Emma is blinded for a moment.
 âLook,â Liam says. âI know you all want to know where Iâve been and how I got back here, but I canât tell you. I--- wasnât.â
âYou donât have to talk about it here,â Elsa says.
âOr ever,â Killian adds, and Emma has to grin at the utterly annoyed psychiatrist-look Elsa shoots him.
The rest of them nod, but Liam shakes his head.
âNo, you donât understand. It wasnât awful or anything. It just--- wasnât. One moment I was in my living room in Boston and the next I just--- was not.â He lifts his hands. âI canât really explain it. Itâs like I was sleeping. I donât remember being . Until suddenly I found myself on a bridge.â
Killian draws a sharp breath and Emma wraps her arms around his waist, squeezes until she feels him relax.
âIt took me a long time to remember who I was.â He looks at Elsa. âTook me a long time to remember you.â His voice is quiet.
âItâs OK,â she says, and leans up to kiss him.
When they finally pull apart, there is not a shred of embarrassment between them.
âAt least I think it took a long time.â Liam says. âI donât know if time passed there.â He falls quiet. Nobody moves for a very long moment.
Then Emma walks over to the whiteboard.Â
âLetâs look at what we know.â She points at Augustâs graphic. âNeverland was running out of magic, and Pan was trying to harvest it here.â She laughs and says, âThereâs a sentence I never thought Iâd say.â From out of the corners of her eyes she can see a lot of nodding.
âOriginally he found Elsa. Opened a small rift and started reaching through it to murder people and siphon their life force in order to make the rift bigger. Big enough for him to go through.â
 âItâs highly likely that heâs been doing this for centuries,â Killian adds. âMillennia, possibly. Think about it. Time doesnât exist in Neverland, but all that life force has to come from somewhere. The fact that the spells carved on the victims were mimicking human language tells me that there must have been contact, contact dating back many, many generations.â He scratches behind his right ear as he tries to harness his next thought. âAnd think of the lore-- all those stories of magic and otherworldly creatures, on the Isle of Man especially. There is so much of it -- in Norse mythology as well. So many similar stories and legends, all of them incredibly detailed considering they are more than a thousand years old. Some more than two thousand. I think this has been going on for a very long time.â
 Emma feels a rush of fondness watching him explain, features animated, hand gestures making his points, every inch the nerdy professor, and in that moment she loves him so much it almost hurts. Â
When he turns to look at her again, eyes shining and so very in his element, she vows to herself that his detective days have to draw to a close.
This man needs to be around books again, books, and scholars, and ivy covered walls. Or at the very least walls not spattered in blood and urine.
 She nods, along with the rest of them, because heâs making perfect sense. âWhen we were fighting Pan asked if I thought I was âthe first one to fight backâ. It would support your hypothesis.â Â
Killian beams at her after the word âhypothesisâ. They are going to have so much fun later, using that word in a completely different context. It will be the most educated dirty talk ever . She grins at the thought and then clears her throat to cover the heat that just shot into her cheeks and turns back to the board. Â
âSo with each sacrifice Pan gets stronger, and the sacrifices link through the quill--- wait.â She looks at Ashley. âThatâs why you couldnât name the elements. Itâs from an animal thatâs from a whole different plane of existence.â
âNicely put,â says the ME. âMy supposition exactly.â
âThen what about the connections?â Emma asks. âIf all you had to do to be next in line was touch the quill, why are we all connected?â
 âI donât know if this helps,â Liam says, and looks at Killian. âI remembered you last, LB.â He shakes his head again. âAnd I canât explain it, but the moment I did, I got the urge to write down these sounds I kept hearing all around me. Write them down somewhere they would last, but not easily seen, so I carved them into the bannister of the bridge. On the down side.â
âHow?â Elsa stares at him. âLiam - how did you write a language you donât know, in a script you donât know?â
âI heard your heartbeat,â Emma whispers. âThe day I met Killian, I started to hear your heartbeat.â
Liamâs brow furrows. âMy heartbeat? How could you possibly hear my---â
âI think you called me,â Killian says, a slight tremor to his voice. âI think you called me--- to the case, to Storybrooke, and to---â
His voice cuts out. Emma glances up at him, and oh, the look he gives her.
Sorrow and joy and pain and happiness and so, so much love.
She canât speak for a moment.
She only snaps out of it when August clears his throat. Loudly.
 âConnection,â she says. âWhatever the magic was that Pan was after, I donât think it was just inside Elsa and me. I think it connected us all. Look at all of us, here. And all of us who---â she swallows hard-- âcannot be here, but were part of this.â
Killian takes her hand. The warmth still flows.
âIt was love,â he says, his voice soft and fond. âAll of it. Love is not just romantic love. Graham taking recovering addicts to find themselves in nature. Dr Boyd finding a stubborn orphan on a bench and seeing something inside her, enough to make an effort to change her life.â He squeezes Emmaâs fingers, hard. âAugust picking up a newborn by the side of the road when he was just a little boy himself. Even Victor---â he smiles wistfully--- âfinding connection and solace in a back room. Love is a very powerful thing. I think it would transcend realms and language and just respond to need.âÂ
They all fall silent, and then Elsa clears her throat. âWere we all connected by circumstance? By a series of events? Or did these events all happen to us because we were connected?â She smiles. âWho knows? But in the end---â she looks up at Liam, who smiles down at her with the exact same smile Killian has when he smiles at Emma--- âwhat does it matter? Weâre here.â
She kisses her husband.Â
âWeâre here, and heâs gone, and we can chop this up six ways from Sunday, and we will--- â she looks around--Â âbut we may never fully understand it and I for one need a fucking drink.â
And Liam smiles and says, âThatâs my girl.â
-/-
That night, after grilled cheese sandwiches and fries and lots and lots of drinks, after laughter and lightness and a moment of silence for the departed---
after August proclaims he cannot wait another fucking moment and hauls Victor up the stairs, and David says something much more polite which amounts to exactly the same thing and pulls Mary Margaret out of the diner at a near run---
after Ashley drives back to Bangor and Elsa and Liam get into a car headed for Boston and all the good-byes are finally said---
finds Emma and Killian back on her ratty, comfortable couch, in her wonderfully comfy warm living room, and Emma sighs as Killian bends down to kiss her.
âI donât want to move again,â she says. âI am so tired.â
Killianâs lip quirks and he looks at her as his tongue does something absolutely indecent and his eyes flash.
âI could move a bit ,â he says, and then he gets up and in one fell swoop throws her over his shoulder and Emma screams a laugh.
âOK OK OK!â she shrieks, and then laughs again, because heâs stomping down the hallway to the bedroom and then he just dives them onto the bed and goes very still on top of her.
âI donât want you to worry,â he says.
Emmaâs laugh catches in her throat.
âWorry?â she asks.
âAbout the future,â he says. âIâm not going anywhere.â
God, how she loves him.
âGood,â she says, voice a little bit choked.Â
âWherever we go, we go together,â he says. His eyes are large and so, so serious, and she almost doesnât notice that the last part sounded like a question.
But she does notice.
âTogether,â she says, and feels him exhale. âTogether, wherever we go.â
 He smiles. Smiles that soft, fond smile of his. âI love you so much.â
She smiles back. Happy and sure. âI love you, too.â
Then his grin becomes impish and he twitches his hips.
âHow much?â He asks, and it sounds absolutely wicked.
âLet me show you,â she whispers, and flips them around.
.
.
.
THANK YOU AGAIN, EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, FOR BEING SO WONDERFUL.
if you live by the word, you die by the pen -- CH10
SUMMARY: Â Itâs just another day with bad coffee, the day that Sheriff Swan enters Detective Jonesâ precinct.
The fact that his life is about to come apart at the seams is purely incidental.
With apologies to Dashiell Hammett and James Ellroy, iâm playing in their sandbox and iâm taking the bucket and the shovel. Â You guys can keep the rake.
AO3 (if you want decent formatting, because tumblr does not).
.
A/N: So. Here it is. The calm before the storm. And a little bit of mystery (yeah, well, you knew that), and a dash of humor, and possibly a smidgen of you know what.
But - i feel i must tell you, my dears -- what comes after this is everything else. And since this story is so complex, the plot boa constrictors have me in a stranglehold by now, i will have to write the entire kit and kaboodle before i post again. Like, all of it. Â
So this is me, once again begging for your patience, because this might kill me, but if it doesnât, itâll still take a while to do. The good news is that once i do get it written, the last chapters will come at a pretty fast clip.
Thanks to my Mythical Beauties @katie-dubâ, @ohmightydevviepuuâ, and most especially, always and forever, @profdanglaisstuffâ who encourage my lunacy and enable the eff out of me and keep me sane. i love you guys so much. đđđ
@jennjenn615â & @kmomof4â - this chapter will not torture you (for a change) đ. The same cannot be said for whatâs about to come down the pipeline. Â
Thanks as ever to @captainsjediâ for the lovely art.
And to all of you who are still reading this, patient as you are, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. Â You are wonderful and i love you A LOT. Â đđđ
.
.
If you want on or off the tag list, let me know! Â (And seriously - if itâs âoffâ - please donât worry. Â Absolutely no hard feelings.)
 August and Victor are both looking at Killian as he puts away his phone and nods. Â
âSheâll be here in the morning.â
âWhat time is it now?â Emma asks, and Victor says, âT minus 29 hours until itâs my turn. Give or take.â
 The sentence lands like a lead balloon and the entire room falls silent.
 Until August says, âThatâs not funny, Doc.â Then he looks up at Emma and adds, âItâs a little past 8 PM.â
8 PM , Emma thinks. Just 12 hours ago we were making our way down a hillside towards a corpse and our doom and we had no idea.
 âI say we adjourn,â Victor says. âWeâre all hungry and tired and weâre not going to get anything else done tonight.â
Thereâs a chorus of protest and he holds up his hand. Â
âIâm a doctor ,â he says. âDo you really want me to go into a lengthy explanation of brain chemistry versus sleep deprivation, or will you just fucking believe me and do what your doctor ordered? â
Augustâs eyes get very soft as he gently punches Victorâs shoulder and says, âNow that was funny, Doc.â
And then he takes Victor by the hand and pulls him from the station almost at a run.
Emma looks at Killian and smiles, because itâs comforting how some things never change, and oh, the look he gives her in return.
It makes David blush. Across the room.
âI bet they can find a much better use for their time.â Mary Margaret rolls her eyes and grins. âAnd I agree with the doctor. I think we all could do with a break.â Â
David feels another atomic blush start to creep up his neck. This whole freshly-cooked lobster impression his skin insists on doing he could truly live without. Especially since Mary Margaret is looking straight at him now, eyebrows raised in silent question.
From out of the corner of his eye David can see Emma and Killian very much not looking at them, and then he hears Emmaâs voice, as she says, âTake me home?â
Killian quietly replies, âOf course, love.â and Emma does not flinch at the last word.
Instead she beams at Killian. Her whole face lights up. Happy.
Killian smiles back, and even David can see how much the man has changed in just these few days. He is no longer the husk he first encountered at the diner; empty, weary, sardonic, and incredibly hungover. The man slouched at the counter that morning could not have smiled like that.
 Emma nods at David and checks her watch. Â
âLetâs meet back here at 9 tomorrow morning,â she says, and then gives him a wicked grin. âIf you two want to join us for breakfast, weâll be at the diner around 8. But we understand if you canât make it.â
And with that parting shot they leave, while Mary Margaret bursts out laughing and Davidâs face once again attempts to emulate the sun.
He tries to take a deep breath and say something coherent, anything at all, really, while Mary Margaretâs chuckle fades and she once again looks at him, eyebrows raised in amusement.
He canât think of anything.
Nothing a thing.
 And then she sighs. Shakes her head. Takes one step forward and then another, until theyâre almost touching, and then she smiles an absolutely brilliant smile.
âSo, David Nolan,â she says. Still smiling that thousand-watt smile. The kind that could light up an entire village. âAre you going to make me wait the whole night, or are you finally going to kiss me?â
And David decides that words are maybe not what this situation needs at all.
Action is.
He can do action.
Outside, in front of the station, Killian and Emma hear Mary Margaretâs happy squeal being cut off midway through and Killian quirks his left eyebrow suggestively.
Emma laughs out loud. Oh, that man can definitely get serious mileage out of a good innuendo. But he is not the only one.
â Finally ,â she says. âWasnât that a long time coming.â
âIt was.â Killian takes a step forward and puts his arms around her, wraps himself around her, tightly, and it feels ridiculously right . His lips brush hers gently.  âSo was this.â And then he kisses her.
Thoroughly.
 When they pull apart sheâs lightheaded and cannot wipe the stupid grin from her face. Not that she wants to. He leans his forehead against hers, their noses touching, his lips ghosting across her cheek, and it takes her forever to get her bearings. When they finally start walking, he keeps his arm around her waist, her body pulled tightly into his side, and itâs so easy, the way their strides match and their rhythm syncs up, the way he keeps nuzzling her neck and smiling. Heâs happy. She can tell heâs happy.
Hell, people in Canada can probably tell heâs happy.
It makes her feel light and buoyant and hopeful -- even amidst all this threatening doom. Â
 When they get to her house she can barely open the door before he pushes her inside, slams it closed with his heel and kisses her absolutely breathless, and when he pulls back his pupils are blown wide and she can feel him, hard as a rock against her. He opens his mouth, but no sound comes out, nothing but his ragged breathing, and Emma slowly lets her hand wander down his breastboneÂ
and lower
and lower
until she feels him, wraps her hand around him, and he groans
helplessÂ
helplessÂ
and she grins up at him, unrepentantly.
 And strokes him.
Once.
 The sound he makes is feral .
With a growl he picks her up and marches her down the hallway as she wraps her legs around him and kisses his neck, his pulse point, his collarbone, and then he stops, whispers a strangled, âWhich door?â, and she doesnât look up, bites his jaw and points left, and with a snarl he twists the handle and takes two more strides and then finally, finally, theyâre on the bed
their limbs tangled
their lips trailing fire
their hands frantically pulling fabric, pulling buttons, pulling belt loops and buckles and bra clasps, and then he stills above her
and she nearly sobs because god, sheâs achingÂ
sheâs readyÂ
and she lifts her hips, rubs herself down his cock and he groans as he enters herÂ
AllAtOnce
GodItFeelsGoodYES
 WhereHaveYouBeenAllMyLife
IâveWaitedSoLong
ForThis
ForYou
 She can feel it, from the tips of her toes to the top of her hairline, as she comes,
she comes---
 And suddenly there is a spark - warm, glowing, golden - it erupts from her hands, shoots jets of light from her fingers,
envelops them
lifts, lifts them halfway off the mattress,Â
and she screams as he lets go
and they shudder
and they shake
and they collapse, fall back down, boneless and spent.
They lie there for minutes, just trying to catch their breath, and then she turns to look at his face. There are tears in his eyes.
Tears.
âEmma,â he whispers. Just that. Just her name. But she knows what heâs saying, knows it in the marrow of her bones and the bottom of her damaged, lonely, fortified heart, she knows.
And so she simply nods, and kisses him softly, and then pulls the covers over both of them.
-/-
In a quirky house on the outskirts of Boston, Elsa Jones rubs her tired eyes, looks at the clock, and calculates the time she has left to sleep before she has to leave. No matter which way she counts, itâs barely five hours. She sets her alarm, shucks off her shoes, and curls up on the couch with the afghan.
There really is no point in going to bed.
-
Twisted into tangled sheets in a New England country-style room at Grannyâs, two men lie wrapped around each other, one dark-haired, one fair.
They have both given up pretending to be asleep, and try to enjoy just being together for now. Fingertips run lightly over warm skin, their breaths come slow and evenly.
âHe is not getting you,â the dark-haired man says, for perhaps the tenth time.
The blond man smiles, just like he has all nine times before. Â
âGood,â he says. Then he looks up. âStay,â he adds. âPlease stay.â
The dark-haired man nods. âI was never going to leave.â
The blond man smiles again.
âThatâs even better,â he says. âI was never going to let you go.â
-
And in a charmingly messy cabin bedroom on the outskirts of town, a teacher and a deputy lie spooned together under a checkered bedspread, fast asleep; another dark head and fair one, on the same pillow.
-/-
Killian very slowly takes Emmaâs hand and threads his fingers through hers. He knows sheâs awake, even though her eyes are closed. He pulls their hands up to kiss her knuckles and she smiles and slowly opens her eyes.
âHey,â she says. Quiet and soft.
âHey,â he answers. Just as quiet and soft.
âAre you OK?â
He nods. He is so much better than OK. Heâs wonderful.
âIâm good, love,â he says, and notices how again, she doesnât flinch. So wonderful. âYou?â
She nods, and her smile gets wider. Â
âIâm very good,â she says. âExcept that I really want some hot chocolate.â Â
She sits up, squeezes their entwined fingers.
âWant to go make some hot chocolate?â Â
He does.
Twenty minutes later they are curled up on the couch, in pyjamas and blankets, each with their own mug of what Killian thinks must be the most sinfully delicious thing heâs ever tasted, short of Emma, and then he remembers---
âThat light before,â he blurts out. âDid I--- did I imagine that?â
Emma sighs and takes a long sip before she sets the cup down on the coffee table and looks up at him.
âNo,â she shakes her head. âNo, something definitely happened.â
âDo you think----â He canât bring himself to say it out loud. He doesnât want to spook her.
âI donât know.â Her voice is a whisper now. âThere was a---- it felt like a spark, and suddenly there was power . Energy, you know?â
He nods.
âI donât know what it was.â Â
He can feel her uncertainty as she speaks, feel her hesitation. Her brow crinkles. He kisses the furrow, then leans his forehead against hers. Â
âDonât be afraid,â he says. âItâs OK.â
She sighs and closes her eyes. âWhatever it was, it ignited , somehow. Or at least thatâs what it felt like. And then it--- it just---â
âShot from your fingers?â
âYeah.â She pulls back and rolls her eyes. âBut thatâs crazy, right?â
He shakes his head. âNo, Emma. I felt it. You felt it. It lifted us off the bed .â He smiles at her. âWhatever it was, it was real. And you are not crazy.â
-/-
In her Bangor morgue, Dr Ashley Boyd slowly closes the lid of a hard case filled with evidence bags and notes and flash drives. She clicks the clasps shut and grabs her coat and then carefully wheels the case out to her car.
The thump of her trunk lid slamming shut on top of the case echoes across the empty parking lot as she methodically opens the driverâs side door and starts the car. She sits there for almost a minute, engine idling, lost in thought.
Then she puts the car in gear and turns its nose towards Storybrooke.
-/-
âYou asked me about my ancestors.â
 Theyâve been silent for many long minutes, and Killian nearly jumps when Emma speaks again. He tightens his arms around her. What he wouldnât give for a moment of solace, for a time-out, for the chance to just be together, just enjoy each other for a little longer.
She folds her hand through his and squeezes, as if she heard him, as if she knew what heâs thinking, and he can feel her want it, too.
But time waits for no one.
 âI did.â He kisses the top of her head as she sighs. âItâs a theory.â
âIâm sorry,â she whispers. âIâm so sorry I couldnât help. Iâm sorry I donât know anything.â
Even in his embrace he can feel her shoulders slump, and he tightens the arm around her waist as he pulls their entwined hands up to his heart.
âEmma,â he says. He loves saying her name. âPlease donât apologize. None of this is your fault.â
She looks up and her eyes are suspiciously shiny.
âI donât-----â Her voice cuts out and she clears her throat. âI feel useless.â
It hurts something deep inside of him, the way she says that. The way he can feel true pain leak through these few words.
He kisses her gently and squeezes her fingers again, and then reaches up to cup her cheek.
âYou could never be useless,â he says. âYou matter. You matter to me.â
A choked sob escapes her and then sheâs kissing him, hard.
 Minutes pass before she pulls back, her eyes still wet, but her smile wide and genuine.
âYouâre never going back to your room at Grannyâs, by the way,â she says. âYouâre stuck with me now.â
His heart does a truly wonderful and terrifying leap and he has to take a second or fifteen to remember how to breathe before he can nod and say, âGood. Thatâs good.â
And then he has to hug her again.
 âI think the hot chocolate is no longer hot,â she finally says, pointing her chin at the mugs on the coffee table after another long bout of silence.
He doesnât care at all.
He has his arms full of Emma. Thatâs better than anything else.
âWeâll make more later,â he says and then pulls back to look at her. âWould you like to tell me what you do know?â
Her brow furrows. âHow do you mean?â
He smiles. âAbout your past. About your beginnings. The things you know about it.â Â
She bites her lip and he hastens to add, âOnly if you want to, of course. Not if it causes you pain, love.â
âNo, itâs OK,â she says, and relaxes against him. âThereâs not that much to tell, and----â She takes a deep breath. âI donât mind sharing it with you.â
 He knows the magnitude of this gift sheâs giving him.
Knows that this is a big thing for her.
Waits until she speaks again.
 âThereâs not much to tell.â Her voice is matter-of-fact. âI was found by the side of a highway. A country road, not an interstate - not far from Portland. The police report actually doesnât state which one, so Iâm not altogether sure, even though Iâve spent--- well, some time trying to figure it out.â
She shudders and he tightens his arms.Â
âAre you cold?â He whispers.
âNo.â She shakes her head. Burrows deeper into the blanket. âThese are just very old ghosts. Iâm fine.â Still that calm, neutral voice.
It takes her a few moments, before she goes on.
He just waits.
 âAnyway,â she finally says, âI was found by a random boy taking a shortcut home from school. He thought I was a toy at first, or at least thatâs what the papers said. They didnât identify the boy by name, and neither did the police report, since he was a minor. Only seven years old, I believe. Which is odd, because what 7-year-old walks home from school alone?â Her voice sounds far away now, very much lost in thought. âNot that it matters,â she goes on. Back to matter-of-fact. âHe found me and I guess he realized I was an actual human baby once I started crying, and so he carried the basket I was in to the nearest adult. And thus I entered the system.â
 Something cold and hard tightens in his stomach at those words, at the meaning behind them, and he buries his nose in her hair.
âIâm so sorry love,â he says softly. Â
She chuckles a dry, mirthless laugh. âIt is what it is.â
He half expects her to go rigid, to close off, but instead she exhales a long breath and relaxes into his embrace, leans her head against his shoulder, her fingers playing idly with the folds of his sleeve.
âThereâs not much else to tell.â Her voice is pensive now, quiet, and heâll take that over her eerie neutral any day. âThere was a string of foster homes and group homes and failed escapes.â Again that mirthless chuckle. âThey always catch you.â She shrugs. âNo matter how fast or how far you run.â
 Thereâs nothing he can say.
All he can do is hold her tightly and hope she feels that heâs here. With her.
Especially since he is busy trying not to imagine what would compel a teenager to run away, to want to exchange a roof over her head for a life on the streets. He canât imagine it, because heâll go mental, and that is not what Emma needs.
 âBut the last time they caught me, I ended up in a holding cell in Bangor,â she goes on and snaps his thoughts back out of the screeching loop of cruel siblings and bullies and predatory foster fathers. âAnd thatâs where I met Ashley.â She smiles. âDr Boyd, you know?â
He nods and she shifts slightly, lets her hand wander down his arm, puts it on his.
âShe just happened to be at the station. She was doing her residency at Portland Mercy, was just contemplating going into forensic medicine, and happened to be in Bangor that day, for a meeting with the coroner. I was waiting to be processed out and she sat down next to me on the bench and just started talking to me. She asked me what I was doing there and I told her. I thought it would shut her up, but instead she started to ask me lots of questions. Most of them hypothetical. Like, what did I think of the criminal justice system, and the duties of law enforcement, and so on.â Â
She chuckles again, and this time itâs genuine. Â
âAnyway, I was bored, and the woman from child services was taking forever, and so I answered every one. And after Ashley was done asking me all these questions she said -- and I will never forget this -- she said, âYouâre too smart to be this stupid, kid.â She told me to stop fucking around, and to tough it out and stop running away, and that I had a great future in law enforcement ahead of me. And that I should become a sheriff, not a cop. She said I would do well in a self-contained space where I could make my own decisions, and that a metropolitan precinct would just grind me up and spit me back out.â
 This time she laughs out loud, and so does he.
 âShe certainly had your number,â he says.
âShe certainly did.â Emma nods. âAnd thank my lucky stars she did, because for once in my life, I took someoneâs advice. And she turned out to be right. Of course. Itâs really infuriating just how often sheâs right.â
He has to take a deep breath because again heâs not thinking of things, things like how they never would have met if she hadnât ended up on a police station bench in a medium-sized town in Maine of all places, and he whispers, âIâm so glad youâre here.â Â
 She leans up, kisses his jaw, his neck, his collarbone, and he bends down, catches her lips, soft and warm and wonderful against his.
 Warm and wonderful.
Warm.
 That golden warmth spreads through him again, and finds an answering glow in Emma, and they both look at her hands, sparking, humming, luminous ---
Light threads through her fingers, curls up her arms, almost playful, and he reaches out, canât not reach for her, and when his hand touches hers the light explodes, becomes a focused, powerful beam, shooting straight at the wall, and for a moment
oneÂ
briefÂ
endlessÂ
moment
the wall disappearsÂ
and there is darkness
and wind
and the roll of thunder
and the crash of waves
and the screaming of beasts
 and then nothing.
 Just a wall.
And two people on a sofa, wrapped around each other.
if you live by the word, you die by the pen -- CH 9
SUMMARY: Â Itâs just another day with bad coffee, the day that Sheriff Swan enters Detective Jonesâ precinct.
The fact that his life is about to come apart at the seams is purely incidental.
With apologies to Dashiell Hammett and James Ellroy, iâm playing in their sandbox and iâm taking the bucket and the shovel. Â You guys can keep the rake.
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|CH1| CH2 | CH3 | CH4 | CH5 | CH6 | CH7 | CH8 |
AO3 (if you want decent formatting, because tumblr does not).
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A/N: OMG - where do i even start? This chapter is a beast. It nearly broke me, but hey, that which does not kill you. đ€Ł
Just to give you a vague idea, during the course of writing this chapter i have researched:
* mortuary refrigerator components
* popular women's footwear of the late 19th century
* the definitions of 'ogre'
* the west coast of Norway
* Ancient Greek pottery
* how many men over 30 are familiar with Harry Potter
and
* where the Neolithic and the Bronze Age overlap
It's been a very strange ride. đ€ŁÂ And I know it took me a long time, but guys, strap in.  This is where you find out some stuff.
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ALL THE LOVE AND THANKS to @profdanglaisstuffâ, the Goddess of Linguistics, Purveyor of Logic, Senechal of Brilliance, Keeper of Sanity, Resident Amazingest Human (What? Thatâs A Thing!), and my other, much MUCH smarter half. (Incidentally, that would be the half which is working on turning me into a plotter.)
To @katie-dubâââ for being my Isle of Man expert, sounding board, and lightning fact-checker. Â
To @ohmightydevviepuuâââ - the other half of the âturn stephanie into a plotterâ-crew, who is finally, finally seeing the first fruits of her labor. (Not that i donât still occasionally pants out in left field somewhere. But thatâs OK.)
To @captainsjediâââ whose artwork started it all. (You never imagined this would happen, did you? Yeah, well, me neither.)
And to all of you who are still reading this, and waiting so patiently for updates, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. You are wonderful and i love you A LOT. đđđ
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If you want on or off the tag list, let me know! Â (And seriously - if itâs âoffâ - please donât worry. Â Absolutely no hard feelings.)
Emma tries to find a balance between kind and firm, but lands somewhat heavily on the latter and softens her tone. Â
âLook at all the boxes I have to look at.â She points to everything theyâve carried from his cruiser to the station. âIâll be at it for hours. You can get some rest.â
She lowers her voice to a whisper. âBe glad Iâm not making you go back to your room and sleep in a proper bed.â
âI would make you stay there with me if you did.â Killianâs eyebrow quirks up and for a brief moment he looks mischievous and then he licks his bottom lip. Itâs another thing that makes her ache.
The fact that he has this playful, impish side, and probably used to get serious mileage out of a good innuendo and a dose of wicked charm.
The fact that this side has been buried so deep for so long.
It hits her harder than the Cambridge picture did back in Elsaâs living room. That was just an image of someone long gone. Even the animated professor she saw briefly in Killianâs own apartment wasnât as painful to see. This, here, are the remnants of a whole personality peeking through the cracks, a personality that has been torn apart and locked away and drowned in liquor.
It makes her ache to think of how much damage he has sustained.
 Then she realizes with a jolt that she has not answered him, has been staring at him in silence instead, and that his expression has shifted from teasing to doubt and apprehension, and she takes his hand, rubs her thumb across his knuckles.
âSorry,â she says. âSidetracked.â She smiles up at him. âYou would not have to âmake meâ.â She quirks her own eyebrow, because two can play at insinuation, and because she wants him to know that she is here, with him.
This is not a mistake.
He folds his fingers through hers and returns her smile with a sigh of relief. Â
âItâs better if I help you unpack the boxes,â he says. âShow you how everything is organized and categorized.â
Emma laughs out loud. He really is a professor at heart. Itâs wonderful and painful in equal measure.
âKillian,â she answers, not rolling her eyes. âFirst of all. I saw those boxes when I helped you pack them up.â Â
An image of his living room rises before her eyes, barren and desolate and so full of sadness, and she fights it down because there is no time for this right now. He squeezes her fingers like he knows sheâs thinking troublesome thoughts and once again warmth spreads through her. Â
She will never get tired of that feeling.
âAnd also,â she finally goes on, âitâll be better if I look at everything with fresh eyes, you know? Completely unbiased. Sometimes a little disorder helps you gain a new perspective.â
âYou are a very smart woman, Emma Swan,â he says and beams . Like he truly likes how her mind works. The warmth inside Emma grows like a living thing, and very faintly she thinks she can feel-----
 âLove?â His voice snaps her back to the present and she doesnât know what expression is on her face, but itâs making his brow furrow. âEverything all right?â
Emma nods and leads him into the station waiting room, where she points at the couch.
âDo you need a blanket?â She tries to pull her hand from his, but he doesnât let go.
âWhatâs wrong?â
His eyes are worried now, and Emma is still blindsided by the fact that he called her love like it was the most natural thing in the world, and she canât---
âPlease talk to me.â His voice is a whisper. âSomething just happened. Whatâs wrong?â
If she stays here a second longer with his fingers threaded through hers and his gentle voice and his soft eyes she will start to cry, and she has cried enough these past few days.
Too much.
 So she shakes her head and she looks up with a smile and says, âItâs nothing. Donât worry about it.â
Her voice is steady. She is proud of that.
He lets go of her hand and runs it up her arm, all the way up to the back of her neck. His eyes are serious, but also tender, and he pulls her towards him very, very slowly, gives her time to back away, but she doesnât, couldnât , not when heâs looking at her like that.
He bends his head and kisses her, slow and soft and oh so careful, and she wraps her arms around him and wishes they could stay that way forever, because she never wants to let go.
Heâs warm and solid and real in her arms, and then he wraps himself around her, and itâs so perfect she nearly cries despite everything.
 When he pulls back she holds on for dear life and he leans his forehead against hers.
âI am here, Emma,â he whispers. âI am in this. You can tell me anything.â
âI know,â she says, because she does know, because itâs nothing but the truth. But heâs not responsible for her scars. He has enough of his own.Â
âIâm fine,â she repeats, and he brushes his nose against hers, kisses her again, and then waits until she pulls back.
When she does, it feels like sheâs tearing off a part of herself.
 She walks over to the cabinet and pulls out a blanket and a pillow and hands them to Killian, who gives her one last figuring look before he sits down on the couch.
âSleep,â she says. âIâll save you some pizza.â
âDo you remember back in my room, the first time you came by?â He smiles a wan smile. âI was so hungover and you were ready to haul me down here to lock me up?â
She grins and nods, but his smile falls. âI told you I wished Iâd never heard of you.â Â
His eyes look sad now. Â
âIâm so sorry, Emma.â His voice is quiet, and god, heâs so sincere. He really means it. âIâm so sorry about all of it.â He looks up and it looks like heâs in pain . âI didnât mean it. I didnât mean it then, but now----â
He swallows hard. Â
âEmma, I swear, meeting you is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I know Iâm not supposed to say this after just a few days, but I swear, I know it. â Â
He takes a deep breath. Â
âI know it.â His voice is a whisper now. âI know it, and I am so sorry.â
 There is nothing she can do but walk over and sit down next to him and hug him within an inch of his life.
-/-
âI take it you have seen this kind of thing before?â
 Victor is sitting on the bed in his room, cross-legged, looking small and out of place with his carefully tousled hair and his expensive suit pants and his button down shirt which is still crisp and perfectly white despite the fact that heâs trudged through a damp forest in November.
August pours two glasses of the scotch he just liberated from Grannyâs bar and hands one to the doctor. In the time it takes Victor to take a sip, August has emptied his own glass and refilled it.
He walks over to the armchair by the window and sits down.
 âYeah, you could say that,â August says quietly, and empties his glass again. âI have seen this kind of thing before.â
Victor looks up. âWhat happened?â
âNothing thatâs going to happen to you.â
The doctor laughs out loud. It sounds bitter and resigned.
âDonât bullshit me, cop,â he says. âTell me what happened. Were there others? Did they all get strung up like that?â
August pours himself yet another generous helping and Victor gets up, walks over to him and puts his hand over the glass.
âStop it,â he says. âI didnât ask you up here to watch you get drunk. I asked you up here to get some answers.â
 There are so many things August could reply to that. So many things he wants to reply to that. Witty comebacks laden with double entendres and flirtatious intimation, or a quick and dirty line leading straight to the point.
He canât bring himself to do either.
Victor is looking at him with wide, worried eyes, and the words marked for death start caroming around Augustâs head on a screeching loop, and for a moment all he can see is Will, and Eric, and the first victim, the woman; all of them prostrate, dressed in rough linen, their backs bloody, their hands outstretched, holding a quill.
And then Liam.
Who vanished before three pairs of eyes and became nothing but a pile of ash.
 âAugust?â
His hands are shaking, shaking so hard Victorâs palm on his glass is shaking right with him, and August takes a deep breath. Victor lifts his hand and August drinks as the doctor sits down, this time across from him, at the foot of the bed.
âNo,â August grinds out. âThey didnât all get strung up like that. Actually, this is the first one. All the others were on their knees, bent down and forward, as if they were offering up a gift.â
âHow many others?â Victorâs voice is a raw whisper.
August shakes his head, but the screeching loop is still rolling. âThere was a librarian named Belle who disappeared and then turned up dead with markings all down her back. There was Detective Prince, who was a good man, and amazing at spinning theories from trace evidence. And Detective Scarlet, who was his partner, and---â
Augustâs voice cuts out and he has to swallow several times before he can go on. Victor is very still, looking at him with large, frightened eyes.
August wishes, truly wishes, his tale was one that ended in hope.
Not despair.
 August takes a deep breath. âScarlet was a very good cop. And an even better man.â
âAnd Killianâs brother?â Victorâs voice is barely audible now.
âLiam.â The word sits between them like a lead balloon. âMy partner. He turned to cinders without fire before our very eyes.â
Victor blinks, and August sighs.
âLook,â he says. âThis is not a tale of triumph. Some extremely strange things happened, none of which I can explain, but mostly there were a string of dead people and we never found the culprit and then the murders just stopped.â
He pours another shot, knocks it back, and then fixes Victor with a hard stare.
âI left the Force and tried to forget and now the fucking bastard is back , and heâs not going to take anyone else, do you hear me? I have lost enough people to this goddamn psychopath. I am done with it. This time, he bleeds.â
-/-
Â
âDid you get him to lie down? Or did you have to knock him unconscious?â
Mary Margaret, it seems, has everybodyâs number. Including Killianâs. Â
âNo force was necessary.â Emma grins. âAlthough it was a near thing.â
 Mary Margaret laughs, and then Emma looks at the boxes, looks at the wall space David is clearing, the whiteboards theyâve already brought in (more boards than the station owns, Mary Margaret has clearly raided the elementary school), and then back at the teacher.
Mary Margaret is currently studying a large satellite area map, on which the tracking points of Grahamâs cell phone are marked. Itâs an absolute mess. Apparently the Huntsman ran around the woods, woods he knew extremely well, in a mess of spikes and circles and double-backs. For hours.
Even Emma can tell that there is no rhyme nor reason to his movements at all, even when accounting for following nocturnal animals. His tracks span a vast area, and never go in a straight line until they reach the top of the incline leading down to the river.
Then they become a very straight line down, towards the bridge.
 Mary Margaret looks at Emma with no small amount of apprehension, and says, âThis doesnât make any sense. None at all. A tourist whoâs never seen this forest wouldnât make this mess.â Â
And Emma makes a decision.
âIâm going to deputize you,â she says. âThere is no way we can go through all this alone, and also, youâre already looking at some extremely confidential information.â She rolls her eyes at David. âProtected by several privacy laws.â Â
Mary Margaret ducks her head and David draws breath, no doubt to defend her, and Emma smiles and holds up both hands in supplication.
âI was not chastising either one of you. Mary Margaret, I think youâd be a valuable asset to this investigation. You have a very useful pair of eyes and a very sharp brain..â
 David chokes behind her, and Emma rolls her eyes.
 âWhat would deputizing entail?â Mary Margaret might as well have said, am I going to be able to give David orders? and David sputters.
Emma has to bite down hard on a grin.
âYouâre not a deputy, like David. But you will be part of this investigation. And you must sign a few very binding legal forms, including a non-disclosure agreement. Which means you cannot talk to anyone about this case. Anyone. Not even your mother.â Emma decides to throw David a bone. âNot even your boyfriend. No one whoâs not a cop, working this case. Do you understand?â
Mary Margaretâs eyes are very serious. âMy mother passed away when I was a baby,â she says. And even more seriously. âAnd I donât have a boyfriend.â
 Both women pretend not to hear the massive sigh of relief behind them.
-/-
 âSo tell me, doctor. How long you been crushing on Detective Jones?â
Victor rolls his eyes so hard, he nearly falls back onto the mattress. Â
â Crushing? â He laughs out loud. âAre you kidding me? Youâre a hard-boiled detective pushing 40 and you just used the words crushing on? â
âIâm a hard boiled former detective and youâre evading the question.â Â
August watches Victorâs face fall. He doesnât answer, just shrugs, defeated. Â
 August sighs. Â
 âI know about that,â he finally says, quietly. âI liked Will. A lot.â
Victor looks up. âThe detective on your task force?â
âYeah.â August nods. âSo, you know--- for what itâs worth, that way only heartbreak lies.â
Victor chuckles. âI know. I do know. But it doesnât change how I feel.â He smiles. Itâs a sad little thing, and Augustâs chest contracts for a moment. âBut if you ever find a way to turn off an emotion, detective, you let me know.â
âFormer detective.â
Victor smiles again, and itâs full of empathy. âYou keep saying that. But - I donât think itâs true. You still observe everything around you. You still watch and deduce and recognize patterns and collect information. You may no longer be on the police force, but I think you are very much still a detective.â
 Augustâs eyes get very wet, very fast. He has trouble breathing for a long moment.
Victor winces. âIâm sorry, August,â he says. âI didnât mean to hurt you.â
August laughs and if it sounds more like a sob, Victor doesnât comment. Â
âItâs fine.â August tries to mask a sniff as a chuckle, sees that Victor isnât fooled and chuckles for real. âYou just---- it was a nice thing to say. Thank you.â
Victor nods and shifts. His knees are now almost touching Augustâs. He leans forward, and suddenly heâs close, so close, and looks straight at August, his eyes kind.
âWhy did you leave the Force?â His voice is quiet.
 August canât answer for almost a minute, because there is something hypnotic in the doctorâs gaze and he is powerless before it.
So powerless that he answers with the naked truth. Â
âWill died,â he whispers. âHe was murdered by this--- this thing , and---â He tries to take a deep breath, but his throat is too tight. He feels Victorâs hand pat his knee, but it feels remote, as if his leg isnât part of his body.
He has to close his eyes.
âThere was no point in going on once Will was gone.â August doesnât just mean the investigation, and he knows Victor heard him, because his hand now squeezes his knee, in a silent show of support.
When he opens his eyes Victor is still looking at him, blue eyes full of understanding.
August laughs, brittle and dry. âNot that anything was ever going to happen.â
âDonât I know that feeling.â Victor sighs. âLet me guess. Will was----â
âAs straight as they come? Yes. He absolutely was.â
Victor raises an eyebrow and his look turns mischievous. âCome a lot, did you?â
 It takes August a full thirty seconds to assimilate this comment.
To realize that Victor is joking with him.
To realize that Victor is flirting with him.
To realize that Victor is fucking funny .
 And then August stands, pulls Victor up by his crisply starched white collar and marches him across the room, slams him into the wall as he presses the entire length of his body up against him, and kisses the living daylights out of the surgeon as if tomorrow didnât matter at all.
 -/-
âProto-Celtic!â
 Killian bolts upright on the couch, his eyes wide open, the words still echoing through the room. He tries to catch his breath. His head hurts.
But his dream did yield an actual idea. Maybe it is good that he slept.
He gets up and carefully folds the blanket, and then makes his way to the washroom to splash water on his face. The man in the mirror is pale and drawn and desperately needs a shave and a trim. Heâs a mess.
Emma deserves better.
 He shakes his head at himself and rolls his eyes, because heâs procrastinating, and time is what they donât have. Forty hours between victims, give or take, since the first one. Less than two days.
 When he enters the main room, the sight is somehow unexpectedly breathtaking. The entire far wall is covered with pictures and notecards and press clippings, just like the one in his apartment had been. There are whiteboards with timelines and victim bios, open boxes, open file folders, and three people so immersed in their contents that they donât notice him at all.
He stands there for a full minute, looking at the sheriff and the deputy and the teacher, sifting through the bane of his existence.
Itâs almost too much to bear.
 Finally he steps all the way into the room and softly clears his throat.
âKillian! Did you get enough sleep?â Emma turns her head, smiling, but one look at him brings her up short. âKillian? Are you all right?â
She crosses the distance between them in three large strides and he barely has time to register that he has scared her before she is standing before him, lightly rubbing his left arm.
âWhat happened?â Her voice is soft. Like sheâs trying not to spook him. As if he could be spooked.
He looks at her, eyes clear and green and her expression so open, and for a moment he wants to take her and run, run far, far away, and never come back.
 Outrun it , whatever it is.
 Itâs a beautiful thought, but thatâs all it is. Wishful thinking. And thereâs no time like the present. Â
âI think I have an idea.â He says it loud enough for everyone to hear, and David and Mary Margaret both look up. âI think I have an idea about the languages. But first, is there any more pizza?â
-/-
In the Bangor morgue, Dr Ashley Boyd opens the stainless steel door of mortuary refrigerator compartment 2A, pulls out the castor and transfers the body of Graham Humbert to her examination table. Per her instructions the Huntsmanâs remains have been divested of all clothing, but his hands and arms have not been touched. From the wisps of wool fiber gently dancing in the chill of the climate controlled air, Ashley can see that they had to cut upper-body clothes off the victim, and she resolves to give both of her assistants a stern lecture about introducing new evidence into existing closed systems. They should have been more careful.
Fibers shearing off scissor blades are rookie mistakes.
 She pulls out her recorder and turns it on.
âThis is Dr Ashley Boyd, commencing the autopsy on Graham Humbert, November 18th, 11:07 AM.â As she talks she starts to walk around the table, doing her initial visual examination. âVictim is a caucasian male, 37 years old, 5â11â, 179 pounds and 4 ounces, reasonably well---â
It is at this point Dr Boyd reaches the bottom of the examination table, casually reaches out to check the toe tag, and then catches sight of something odd.
 She steps closer and pushes back the toes to get a clear view of the soles of Grahamâs feet. She stands there for nearly a minute, just staring.
Then she turns around, goes to her adjacent office, and gets the camera.
-/-
âI canât believe I never thought of it before.â
Killian is sitting cross-legged in front of one of his cardboard boxes, a slice of pizza in his left, digging through files with his right.
âThought of what before?â Emma is sitting next to him, their knees almost touching.
âThat the language might have something to do with the object. Or rather, the target.â He shakes his head. Itâs so simple . He is so stupid.
âThe object?â David says.
âThe target?â Mary Margaret says.
Emmaâs brow crinkles. âPlease explain?â
 Killian sighs and looks at her, and then cuts his eyes over to the other two members of their little task force. And then looks back at Emma, hoping sheâll understand.
Emma doesnât understand. Â
David, however, does. Â
 âIf youâre trying to get us to leave the room, forget it,â he says, all Deputy Huff. âWe are in this, and I am a police officer, in case you hadnât noticed. A police officer working this case.â
Itâs really endearing how flustered he gets.
âItâs OK,â Emma says, and puts a warm hand on Killianâs wrist. âThey have to find out sometime. And we need them.â She turns towards David and Mary Margaret, who - Killian swears - are wearing identical expressions of sheer determination. Â
âLook,â she says. âYouâre going to be hearing a lot of strange stuff now. A lot.â
âStranger than people strung up with runes carved on their backs?â David really does love a good snit. Killian nearly smiles.
â Much stranger,â Emma answers. âWay way outside what you think is possible. As a matter of fact, youâre both probably going to think weâve lost every last one of our marbles.â She holds up a hand, stops David from commenting. âJust go with it, OK? Go with it and weâll answer all your questions afterwards.â
They both nod, and Killian looks at Emma.
 Itâs time.
-/-
By the time he has to pull back and catch his breath, August is painfully hard.
â God, â he says, âIâve been wanting to do that since I got into your car.â
âDonât stop.â Victorâs voice is a broken whisper. âPlease donât stop.â
His mouth chases Augustâs but he pulls back further to look at the doctor, really look at him. Victorâs hands are trembling. His breath is erratic, and not from desire, and his eyes have a look of barely concealed panic, and August takes a step back.
âWait,â he says. âWait a minute.â
Victorâs hand firmly grabs the front of his pants and August gasps in equal parts pleasure and pain.
âThis doesnât feel like you want to wait, detective, â Victorâs voice is rough. âAnd thereâs no time like the present. I should know, since it turns out that the present is all I have.â
âStop,â August grinds out as Victorâs hand starts to rub up and down, and it takes August every ounce of willpower to step out of his grasp. âHang on.â
âThatâs what Iâm trying to do.â Victor lets his head fall back against the wall with a bang. âBut youâre making it fucking hard.â He rolls his eyes. âLiterally.â
 Humor. It turns out humor is Dr Whaleâs secret weapon. Go figure.
 August takes a deep breath, and exhales long and slow. And then goes for broke.
âVictor,â he says quietly. âThis wonât solve anything.â
The doctor grabs him by the lapels and spins them around and slams him into the door. With force. Augustâs head connects with the frame and his vision sparks for a second. Victor pays no attention to it at all.
âI know ,â he hisses, his face so close to Augustâs he can see specks of grey in Victorâs blue eyes. âDonât you think I fucking know that? None of this will solve anything. I. Am. Fucked.â
He laughs out loud, and itâs bitterness made sound.
âOr rather, not fucked, since you turned all Emily Post suddenly.â
âDid you---â August sputters. âDid you just compare me to a 19th century socialite ?â
âIf the Adelaides fit.â
âWhat?â Augustâs head is spinning.
âAdelaides were a popular womenâs shoe in the late 19th century,â Victor says in a long-suffering voice like heâs explaining Sand Castle 101 to a 5-year-old, and something inside August snaps.
âFuck you,â he snarls and pushes Victor back so forcibly he stumbles and sits down hard on the bed. âFuck. You. Fuck you and your prevarication.â August shakes his head. âI am not your goddamn stopgap. You donât get to use me for one last desperate ride into oblivion while you fantasize about someone else.â
 Victor deflates all at once and his shoulders slump until he looks like a heap of pure misery.
âI donât---â His voice cuts out. He clears his throat several times. Â
When he finally looks up, his eyes look defeated. And brimming with tears.
âYouâre not a stopgap,â he whispers. âAnd I wasnât going to picture anyone else, I promise.â He takes a shuddering breath. âBut I was going to use you for one last ride. Iâm sorry.â
Tears start to roll down Victors cheeks. August canât move a muscle.
âPlease, August.â Victorâs voice is barely audible. âPlease give me this. I need it.â
 August crosses the space between them in two long strides, sits down on the mattress next to Victor and grabs him by the shoulders. Hard.
âI am not your coping mechanism,â he says and watches Victor blink. More tears roll. âAnd youâre not going to need one anyway, because you are going to fucking live. I am not letting you die, if itâs the last thing I ever do. Do you hear me?â He shakes Victorâs shoulders. He sways boneless like a rag doll. âYou are going to survive this.â
 Victor leans forward, very slowly, and again August canât move, canât do a thing until he feels Victorâs lips brush his own, soft and chaste and gentle.
âIf I wanted a coping mechanism,â Victor says quietly, âI could have driven to Portland and found the nearest back room. I do want a ride. But--- I want it with you . Idiot.â
 And then Victor smiles, and August capitulates.
 He pulls them both up, mauls Victorâs mouth as he pushes him back, back, back against the door again---
as he rips open the white shirt and listens to the buttons ping across the floor---
as Victorâs hands frantically undo his belt buckle and wander south and oh god----
 August moans and spins the doctor around and bites his neck, while he pulls down Victorâs pants and then pulls down his own, and then everything is hot and wet and ready and pumping, and downstairs the widow Lucas listens to the rhythmic slams against a wooden door, rolls her eyes, and then turns to ask Dr Hopper whether he wants fries or onion rings with his burger.
Dr Hopper wants both.
-/-
âElsaâs family originally came here from Norway,â Killian says and finally locates the folder heâs looking for. He hands it to Emma and gives her a minute to glance at the report inside.
âIt says they were from Trondheim?â Emma looks up and passes the folder to David. Mary Margaret scoots closer to him and looks over his shoulder and Killian can see the deputy go very still, like heâs afraid moving will cause Mary Margaret to back away.
Which is ridiculous. Her chin is nearly on Davidâs shoulder.
 He exchanges a knowing glance with Emma, who smiles at him in such a way that he wants to pull her into his lap and kiss her thoroughly, their audience be damned , but there is no time. Itâs been 8 hours already, and he shouldnât have slept.
No.
Itâs good that he did. This idea is the first good theory heâs had in----
This idea is the first good theory heâs had.
 Killian nods. âYes. Trondheim is in central Norway, on the Trondheim Fjord. It was established around 997 as a trading post by Viking King Olaf Tryggvarson.â
Emma smiles and Killian suddenly realizes with absolute certainty that sheâs smiling because he remembers obscure dates and arcane details and the names of Viking kings. And that she likes that about him. Â
âIt has a rich and vibrant Viking history,â Killian goes on, smiling back at her fondly. âAnd since it was an important trading post, and the only one of its kind so far north, it became a melting pot of early languages, which is how I first heard about it.â
It feels good to finally be able to explain, something. Something tangible, based in fact.
âThe name Trondheim alone exists in at least 20 languages from Suomi to Mandarin Chinese, just to give you an idea. But the prevailing factor here is Old Norse. The language of its founders.â
 Killian gets up and walks over to the wall, where the photocopies of the first notecards, the ones Liam showed him a lifetime ago, are pinned neatly to the wall.
Heâs an idiot.
His inability to make this connection years ago has cost so many lives.
So many lives.
 For a moment he canât breathe and then he feels Emmaâs hand on his back. Not moving. Just there.
 âElsa was the first target. I am starting to think the killings were incidental, that they were a means to an end.â His throat is too tight, but he manages to grind out the rest. â Elsa was the target, or rather, the magic she had. Has. Had.â
He can hear twin gasps behind him, but they sound far away, because his focus is solely on the cards before him. There are no interruptions, because Emma is probably shushing everyone.
He is so grateful. Her hand is warm and solid on his back.
 He lifts his own hand and traces the runes before him and then he turns to Emma. Her eyes are wide, and there is an odd determination in them.
âI think this is a version of Old Norse,â he whispers. âI think they were directed towards Elsaâs origins.â He walks over to the whiteboard where copies of the current caseâs notecards hang next to pictures of bloody runes, and lets his fingers once again trail across the letters.
âI think these are targeted towards you.â He looks at Emma even though right at this moment heâd rather look anywhere else. âI think your magic is the target this time---â gasps again, louder this time, and Emma throws up a hand to halt any comments in their tracks--- âand thatâs why itâs not Old Norse. Thatâs why itâs different. Your origin is different.â He takes a deep breath and locks eyes with Emma. Â
âTell me, Emma Swan,â he says, his voice so low that itâs no longer even a whisper. âIs it possible that your ancestors came from the Isle of Man?â
-/-
.
Davidâs brain pulls the emergency brake and goes into a tailspin.
This is insane. What theyâre talking about is insane .
Did he hear the word magic fall? Twice?
There is strange and then there is impossible and then there is insane, and this is insane . It has to be.
He glances at Mary Margaret and she looks perfectly calm. As if people were not losing all their collective--- wait. Isnât that what Emma said?
That theyâll think this is crazy?
Well. Wasnât that the understatement of the century.
This is insane. Â
 Great. Now his mind is stuck in a loop.
 Killian and Emma are still talking and Snow appears to be listening intently and he doesnât care, because where they are diving there is no bottom and it is insane and before he even knows whatâs happening he finds himself leaning forward and bellowing, âHave you all gone completely around the fucking bend?â
 Itâs his first f-bomb ever.
Well. His first one in public.
 Mary Margaret turns to him with a disapproving slant of her mouth that Professor McGonagall could not have matched and snaps, âDavid. Now is not the time.â
 Itâs the perfect combination of chagrin and fond exasperation and she is both so much the teacher and the friend at this very moment that David realizes with terrifying clarity that he is hopelessly in love with Mary Margaret Blanchard and wants to spend his goddamn life with her after only knowing her these past few days.
Well, 8 months and 27 days plus the past few days.
And that is insane as well.
This does not bode well for any kind of rational behavior in his future.
 But he canât pay attention to how insane all these things are right now because Mary Margaret is looking at him like sheâs an x-ray machine and heâs, well, David, in the flesh, and he couldnât look away if he tried. Killian and Emma fade at the periphery of his vision and what remains is the woman before him, her smile dazzling, her eyes knowing, and then she winks at him.
She winks .
And Davidâs life suddenly has a meaning itâs never had before.
 Then Mary Margaret turns back to Emma and Killian and says, â Go on.â
As if nothing happened.
As if Davidâs life hasnât just changed in every single aspect ever.
He nearly laughs. But he doesnât want another reprimand.
 âWhy the Isle of Man?â Emma is spooked. Her voice is not quite steady. She is very good at putting on a brave face, but this whole thing has shaken her down to the foundations.
âBecause if the writing in my former case was based on Old Norse, then the writing in your case could be Proto-Celtic. Or rather, attempting to be Proto-Celtic.â
âI donât understand.â Emmaâs voice is shaking now, and David thinks what he wouldnât give to just wave a magic wand and make this case disappear.
 Wave a magic wand . He is going insane after all.
 Killian nods.  âLook, this is all conjecture, obviously, but letâs assume - for the moment - that you are the target of all these runes. They are meant to evoke or channel or siphon energy from you.â
David is very glad Killian says energy, and not magic. Heâs also amazed at the change in the detective. He is every inch a professor now, limbs loose and hands moving; animated, spirited, energized - he hardly recognizes the man.
Then Emma looks at Killian and he simply reaches for her hand. She visibly calms down and David can see that they are connected by more than just attraction.
A lot more.
âImagine there was someone out there who wanted to harness your powers and to do so had to somehow tap into the primal part of your beginnings, your origins. In Elsaâs case, that would have been Old Norse. In your case, it looks like Proto-Celtic, which was first spoken on the Isle of Man. Or rather, our first evidence of it is found on the Isle of Man. It would make sense, too.â
The last sentence he says nearly to himself.
âThe Isle of Man is a place full of old magic. Its history is full of stories of mooinjer veggey and spirits and buggane and---â Killian looks up, clearly only now noticing that heâs lecturing them, and using terms they cannot possibly know, and he cringes. David watches Emmaâs eyes grow very soft as she looks at him, watches her take a step closer and squeeze his hand, and then sees Killian relax and straighten back up and exhale a long breath. Â
âI meant, it has a history full of faeries and ogres and spirits and places imbued with ancient magic.â  Killian smiles a self-deprecating smile in David and Mary Margaretâs direction, before he turns back to Emma and says, âIs it possible? Could your forebears have come from the Isle of Man?â
 David leans forward. He canât help it. For as long as heâs known Emma Swan, which is ever since she showed up in Storybrooke 15 years ago, he has never heard her talk about herself, her family, or her past. He has given up trying to elicit information from her years ago, because at best Emma wonât answer prying questions, and at worst she will get snappish and withdrawn, and he hates all of the above. Â
 Emma shudders and doesnât answer for a long moment and then finally she says, âI donât know. I was found by the side of a road. I have no idea where I come from.â
 The room goes silent.
Nobody moves, nobody speaks-- it seems like nobody even breathes, until Killian takes a step forward and puts their intertwined hands over his heart and whispers quietly, âIâm so sorry, love.â
 And then a loud, persistent series of beeps sounds out and David gets up to check his computer while Emma says, âME urgent findings alertâ.
David pulls up Ashleyâs email and then looks up at three pairs of apprehensive eyes staring at him. He scans the report.
âSeems like the doc found something on--- wait a minute. That canât be right.â Â
 They all walk over to him until theyâre standing behind him like a freaking gallery and reading over his shoulder (David loathes people reading over his shoulder, unless itâs Mary Margaret leaning in closer, then he doesnât hate it), and Emma says, âAshley found something on Grahamâs feet?â
âThe soles of his feet, it seems,â David answers. âThatâs ridiculous. Who goes through the trouble of taking off a victimâs shoes and socks, carves symbols into them, and then puts the socks and the shoes back on?â
Emma steps aside to let Killian get a better look. âIt makes very little sense. But it also says there are beginning signs of healing?  Which means those wounds were inflicted very much ante mortem . By a sizeable amount of time.â
âAt least 24 hours.â Killian squints at the screen and adds, âShe says she canât be sure, but thatâs her best professional guess.â He finally leans back, giving David some space. âI think your ME is eminently competent. I believe we can assume her guess is correct.â
âHow?â Itâs Mary Margaret who speaks, and David has never heard her sound so scared. She sounds small . âHow on earth could Graham have gotten the soles of his feet carved up a day before he died? And go about his life as if nothing happened?  How could he not have noticed?â
âWell, you very rarely look at the soles of your feet---â David starts and Mary Margaret cuts him off.
âAre you seriously saying you wouldnât notice it if I took a sharp instrument to your feet?â
âThe cuts werenât as deep.â Emma has wandered over to her own computer and presumably pulled up the same email, and now Killian is leaning over her shoulder, and that is much better.
Then Emma looks at David, brow furrowed. âCould it be done? Was he a heavy sleeper? Or maybe he got dosed with a sedative? The cuts are superficial, it says here, more scratches than actual wounds.â
 âHe was a heavy sleeper,â Mary Margaret says, and Davidâs heart drops to somewhere between his knees. âWe went on a hunting retreat every year, the whole club. Camping, out in the woods, you know? Graham once slept through four absolutely wasted men singing at the top of their lungs for an hour.â
And just like that Davidâs heart slots back into place.
âSo yes,â Mary Margaret goes on, âHe was a heavy sleeper. But I still think heâd wake up if someone carved markings into the soles his feet.â Her eyes narrow. âWhatâs the attachment?â
âThe official report,â David says.
âNo, not that.â Mary Margaret points to the header. âNext to it. Your ME sent a picture.â
And David clicks on it.
 Itâs a picture of the symbol carved into Grahamâs skin, and contrary to the runes theyâve been faced with, this is a symbol he has seen before. A stylized triple spiral, in the shape of a symmetrical pyramid. The inner space forms a triangle.
âA triskelion? â Killian says, and his voice sounds strangled. âThere were triskelions carved into Grahamâs feet? â
This obviously means something to the detective, but David cannot pay any attention to that because next to him Mary Margaret has gone completely still. Â
She just stares and stares, eyes narrow, brows crinkled; her shoulders stiff, her mouth a thin line. And then she says, âDoes anyone have a grease pen?â
David scrambles to get one from his drawer and Mary Margaret takes it, walks over to the wall, to the satellite image of Grahamâs cell phone pings, marking all of his tracks before he died, and then draws the connecting lines, and there it is.
 The rhyme and reason to his movements.
His tracks are one large triskelion.
-/-
âWait,â Emma says. âWait, please. Wait.â Â
 She shakes her head to clear it. There are all these clues, and they all look like they should fit a larger picture, like they are pieces of a puzzle , and all they do is just muddy the waters. She can feel her brain overloading.
 In the end itâs David who breaks the silence. âWhat is a triskelion? What does it mean?â
Killian scratches behind his right ear as he answers, a sign Emma can now identify as one of distress.  âBear in mind that I am not a historian,â he says. âSo all of this explanation will be rather crude.â
Emma nearly laughs.
Not a historian.  Killian is one the most educated men in the county, probably the state. Maybe the country. None of his case research, nor his explanations, could ever be considered crude.
Only a professor would judge his own knowledge this harshly.
 âThe word triskelion comes from the Greek, triskeles , meaning three-legged.â Killianâs voice is thoughtful and he looks almost preoccupied. As if his brain was chasing down an elusive thought while explaining the mundane. âIt was prevalent throughout the European Neolithic and Bronze Age, but originally the symbol consisted of three literal legs, arranged in a circle. Itâs found on Ancient Greek pottery and later appears in heraldry and many other iterations, but since the Iron Age its use has centered most significantly in the Celtic culture, where its name is ny tree cassyn .â
He looks up.
His gaze is clear and unflinching.
âEmma,â he says. âIts most explicit and definitive association today is with a very specific place.â He looks at her almost in apology. âIt is the symbol for the Isle of Man.â
âWait.â
Emma feels like her brain is caving in on itself. There is too much information and none of it leads anywhere useful.
Every piece just adds to the mystery and now there is this whole component which might pertain to her, a component with which she cannot help because she knows nothing about her own past, nothing about herself other than what she can remember, and for a moment she feels so useless and desperate that she wants to scream in sheer frustration.
Killian looks at her full of worry and empathy. Heâs trying so hard to make this as easy as possible, but there is no way to lift this burden for her.
Things weigh what they weigh.
 Emma takes a deep breath.
 Start with something tangible. Something logical. Pick a thread, and actual thread, and see where it leads.
Be Ariadne.
Find the minotaur.
Oh god, mythology is starting to rub off on her .
âLetâs forget about Graham and the symbols for a second,â she says, her voice almost steady. âYou said the killings were incidental. That they were a means to an end.â
Killian nods. She has his full attention.
âAnd that the first âendâ, if you will, was Elsa.â
He nods again. Everyone is looking at her, spellbound.
âThen why those people? Why kill those particular people? To get to Elsa?â Â
She clears her throat and wishes to every god she doesnât believe in she didnât have to say this next part. But she does.
âLiam---â Her voice cuts out, and she tries again. âLiam I understand.â  Â
Killianâs face twists and her vision gets blurry as tears start to fill her eyes.
âIâm so sorry. Iâm not trying to hurt you.â
He nods and very gently takes her hand, takes her hand to comfort her while sheâs talking about the death of his brother, and she feels like her soul might crack and shatter.
It takes her a long moment to go on.
âBut why the others? Why Detective Scarlet and Detective Prince and--- who was the woman again? Belle something? Why them?â She sniffs and blinks her tears away. âWhat do they have to do with Elsa?â
 âThatâs a really good question.â  Once again Killianâs eyes drift away, unfocused, lost in thought. âThe only connection we could ever establish was---- the case. Except of course for the librarian. I think the assumption was that the culprit was getting rid of all the people on his tracks.â
He looks at Emma, eyes back in focus.
âI wasnât part of the police force then, just the consultant, so I donât know exactly what the hypothesis was, but from what Liam said, it was something along those lines.â
âBut that doesnât track, does it,â Emma says, and Killian shakes his head. Â
âIf Elsa was the target, it had to have something to do with her .â
Killian nods. âOr Liam. Maybe they were trying to get to Elsa through Liam. They were married, after all. And Liam was killed in an entirely different way from all the others.â
 Emma wants to ask how.
There is nothing in the files on how exactly Liam Jones died.  Â
But she canât ask.
Not now. Not Killian. She wonât put him through this. Â
Maybe August will tell her. Â Later.
 Instead she nods and squeezes his fingers. He squeezes back. Hard. Â
âThat would explain the detectives,â she says, slowly. âBut not the woman. How on earth does she fit into the puzzle?â
âShe was Willâs girlfriend,â a voice says from the door. âTheyâd just started going out. I was the only one who knew.â
 August saunters into the room, Victor trailing behind him, both men looking somewhat disheveled.
 â What? â Killianâs eyes narrow as he fixes them on August. âWill went out with the first victim? How on earth are you only bringing this up now? ITâS BEEN YEARS.â
Heâs yelling. Emma squeezes his hand again, and he takes a deep breath.
âIt wasnât pertinent.â Augustâs face is blank. âTheyâd only been dating a few weeks. But he was fucking gaga about the girl already, came into work with puppy dog eyes every day and would not shut up about her.â
He rolls his eyes. Killian watches Victor nonchalantly walk over to August and stand next to him. Stand very closely next to him.
August quirks a small grin and then looks straight at Killian. His gaze is sharp, his mouth a hard line. âAnd then she went missing, and Will went bonkers. Couldnât get in on the case so he searched for her himself, and I donât know how on earth he kept it from Eric, but - well, you know.â He sighs. âEric was unbeatable when it came to combining evidence with hunch to come up with a theory, but he was a bit, well----â
 Killian remembers Eric Prince - young, smart, articulate, and with just enough ambition to provide ample drive, but not so much as to dip into opportunism, mostly because he was nothing if not pragmatic. Back on the task force he had hyper-focused on the puzzle to the exclusion of all else - a trait Killian was told was Detective Princeâs trademark.
 Killian nods. âI know. Not exactly observant of his surroundings.â
August tries to smile and fails. Â
But he does go on. âAnyway. The Belle girl turned up dead and Will lost it. Swore me to secrecy, because he was never going to get anywhere near the case with a personal connection to the victim, and when Liam and I got assigned the homicide, he marched straight into the Chiefâs office and convinced him it needed a task force. I have no idea how on earth he got King Midas to agree, but he walked out with himself and Eric attached to the case.â
 âKing Midas? Your chiefâs name was Midas? â David sounds as incredulous as Killian did the first time heâd heard that name.
August turns to the deputy. âFormer detective with a stellar career. Youngest police chief of all time. He got the nickname because everything he touched turned to gold. Man could do no wrong.â He looks back at Killian. âExcept for assigning us all to this goddamn case, and donât I wish every day that he hadnât, because then Will would still be alive.â
 Killian looks at August as if seeing him for the very first time. Looks at Victor, standing so close to August, who surreptitiously wipes his eyes with his left while searching for his flask with his right. Watches August take a long pull, watches Victor gently take the flask from him afterwards, and then realizes.
Jesus Christ. August was right. Killian doesnât notice shit .
 âAnyway.â August clears his throat. âThat is the story of how all the fucking victims were connected to Liam after all. Including the librarian.â
 There is a long moment of silence and then David gets up and walks over to the whiteboard. Â
âAnd youâre saying Emma is the new target?â He sounds equal parts scared and determined. âBut it doesnât make sense. She had nothing to do at all with Graham. Did you?â
 Killian looks at Emma, and for a moment a spike of pure jealousy rises in Killianâs gut, but then Emma shakes her head, and it subsides. He almost laughs. Â
Itâs too ridiculous, this normal, run-of-the-mill rivalry in the middle of this insanity. Rivalry with a dead man. He should be ashamed of himself.
 âAnd Emma and I never met before last night.â Itâs the first thing Victor has said at all, and five pairs of eyes snap to his face. Â
He looks at Killian. Gives him a self-deprecating smile.
âWell, you know.â Victor shrugs. âMight as well name the elephant in the room.â
âItâs not going to get you,â August whispers, and again Killian is overwhelmed by the fact that apparently he is no better than Eric was, and doesnât notice things until they are shoved straight into his face.
He should give his badge back.
âEither way,â Victor says, âweâve known each other barely 24 hours. That cannot be a connection worth exploiting.â
âWhat about Leroy?â David says. Killian can see him straining to remain calm. âDid you know Leroy, Emma?â
 And Emma nods .
 âYes,â she says and fear drops into Killianâs stomach like a ball of lead. âI knew him. I knew his brothers, too, but I knew Leroy best. He was the boyfriend of the woman who ran the group home where I stayed the longest. I saw him every day for two years, back when I was a teenager.â
She shudders. The fear inside Killian turns to ice.
âThe woman died and we were all transferred and he disappeared.â Emmaâs voice is a whisper, and god--- Killian just wants to wrap her up and keep her safe and never let go. Instead he stands still as a statue, just holding her hand, while she goes on. âHe and a few of his brothers ended up at the docks about a year ago, and he was in bad shape. They all were. I got them into the halfway house, got him into counseling. He was sober and was really starting to do well, and---â
 A small sob escapes her and Killian finally steps forward and puts his arm around her and she presses her face into his chest as her shoulders shake, and he just hugs her tightly.
 âSo thereâs a connection there,â David whispers. It rings in Killianâs ears like a death knell.
Emma pulls back, looks up at Killian, and presses a small kiss to his neck, before she wipes her eyes and steps back.
It feels like loss.
âThereâs the matter of touch,â she says, her voice once again calm and steady, and god , sheâs magnificent. âGraham probably touched Leroy. Victor touched Graham.â Her eyes cut to the doctor and she cringes. âSorry.â
âDonât be sorry,â Victor nods. âYouâre reciting facts. Go on.â
She takes a deep breath.
âFrom what I can tell from your files and Augustâs story, itâs very likely that Eric touched Belle.â Â
Davidâs brow furrows. âWhere did you get that?â Â
âHe was going out with the ME.â Mary Margaretâs voice rings out clear as a bell, and Killian looks up in surprise. Heâd completely forgotten she was there.
She bites her lip, but then points towards the wall. âYou can tell by the nature of his report and his findings. The coronerâs evidence he listed is incredibly detailed. But also--- the MEâs findings are recorded and time stamped. You can see it in the transcripts. Some of the recordings were done very late at night, two or three AM, and yet their results appear in Detective Princeâs reports and logs first thing the next morning. Before they were even transcribed.â
She shrugs, a little abashed.
âThereâs only one logical explanation for that.â
 Killian has to resist the temptation to slap his forehead, because Jesus Christ they are all so stupid , but August bursts out laughing.
âOh my god,â he says, shaking his head. âHow are you a school teacher? How are you not the next Sherlock Holmes?â
And then Victor says, âElementary school, my dear Watson,â and all of them stare at the doctor for a long moment and then everyone laughs out loud.
Augustâs hand briefly squeezes Victorâs ass, and Killian cannot believe he has been this blind.
When theyâre finally done, Emma reaches for Killianâs hand again, and the warm, golden sense of safety and belonging comes on so strong, they both stare at each other for a full minute before she turns and says, âBelle is where we should start.â
Killian squeezes her hand. âHow do you mean?â
âWe have touch as a connection for everyone but the very first victim. Right? Will found Ericâs body, didnât he? It is reasonable to assume he did what Graham and Victor did -- look for a pulse first.â  Â
Killian nods. As does everyone else.
âSo. That leaves the first victim. In my case, there is a connection to Leroy.â She shudders, but presses on. âNow - we have a link between Belle and Will, and itâs tempting to leave it at that.â She looks over at August. âI get why you didnât tell on him, but I donât think Detective Scarlet is the link. I think thereâs a connection between Belle and Elsa. And we have to find it.â
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Thank you all once again for your patience, and for sticking with me through this absolute insanity. Youâre the bestestestest. đđđđ
if you live by the word, you die by the pen -- CH 8
SUMMARY: Â Itâs just another day with bad coffee, the day that Sheriff Swan enters Detective Jonesâ precinct.
The fact that his life is about to come apart at the seams is purely incidental.
With apologies to Dashiell Hammett and James Ellroy, iâm playing in their sandbox and iâm taking the bucket and the shovel. Â You guys can keep the rake.
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|CH1| CH2 | CH3 | CH4 | CH5 | CH6 | CH7 |
AO3 (if you want decent formatting, because tumblr does not).
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A/N: My darlings - i want to write all of you the most epic love note for being so patient and sticking with this fic, but i find the English language is lacking the adequate expressions for just how much it means to me. Will you settle for some love and hugs instead? đđđ (Yes, iâm ridiculously tired and a little loopy, why do you ask? đ)
For @profdanglaisstuff, my enabler and goddess of language, who is always there when i need her, who encourages my lunacy and provides the brilliance in every single brainstorming session and finds magic trees. Without her there would be no stories, and i cannot thank her enough. Even if she is slowly but surely creating a monster turning me into a plotter.
And for @ohmightydevviepuuâ whoâs probably already forgotten that this was originally her birthday present (hey, maybe i'll manage to finish it up by the time your next birthday comes around! đ) and for @kmomof4â who actually is a paragon of patience these days. And of course @captainsjediâ whose amazing art started it all.
And to all of you still reading - THANK YOU. i LOVE YOU. đđđ Â
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If you want on or off the tag list, let me know! Â (And seriously - if itâs âoffâ - please donât worry. Â Absolutely no hard feelings.)
On one side of a narrow river, fast and flush with fall rains, next to a steel bridge which has seen better days, four people stand, waiting.
 A tall man with brown hair and bloodshot eyes, clearly hungover, is mostly trying to keep his bearings. Next to him a blond man looks forlorn and wary, like heâs unnerved by the entire situation, and none of the other people present can blame him. Least of all the man with the bloodshot eyes, who makes a point to nod at the blond man in an effort of reassurance. Several times.
A woman with a messy ponytail and a disheveled-looking man with blue eyes and lots of scruff stand slightly to the side, neither moving nor touching. All they do is glance up the hill to where their parked cruiser stands, then at each other, then at their watches.
 âWhere are they?â The woman asks, her voice low and worried.
âTheyâll be here,â says the man. Â
 Itâs minutes later when the scruffy man turns to the blond one and says, âVictor, you should go. This has nothing to do with you,â and the blond man replies, âIâm staying.â
âWhy?â It comes out gruff and the blond man flinches.
But then he lifts his chin and says with no small means of defiance, âIâm a doctor. You may need one.â
 And they all fall silent again.
Until they hear a car door slam closed above them, and turn to watch two more people come down the hill.
Another blond man, this one in a deputyâs uniform.
And a small brunette with a large rifle slung behind her back.
.
.
âCall me Mary Margaret.â Emma smiles at Ms Blanchardâs very firm handshake.
âSheriff Emma Swan,â she replies. âI heard you ran circles around my tracking?â
Ms Blanchard blushes a very pretty shade of pink, which almost immediately mirrors in her deputyâs cheeks, and Emma files that information away for much, much later.
âI, uh, didnât mean to---â
âIâm not complaining,â Emma cuts off the beginnings of her apology. âI only know the basics, and my experience is more reading crime scenes than spoor. Iâm glad youâre here.â
Mary Margaret smiles an absolutely radiant smile, and David behind her blushes even more, and oh god, heâs got it bad. Emma will spend many a future night making merciless fun of him.
 If they get future nights.
 A spike of pure fear makes Emmaâs breath hitch and she pushes it down.
 âDavid said you had something to show us?â
Mary Margaret nods, and lets her gaze wander up over the surrounding trees, their branches creaking in the wind. She spends a long time looking, and they all follow her example, but Emma canât make out anything but evergreen needles and the last falling leaves of the deciduous. Â
Mary Margaretâs brow furrows, but she doesnât comment before she finally motions towards the bridge itself.
âHere, let me show you,â she says, and leads them all to the middle, before turning to Emma and pointing at the slats. âWe have to lie down.â
 Emma gets down on cold, rusty metal, and can feel Killian lie down down beside her. Heâs warm next to her, and just close enough to touch down the length of her side, and she smiles at him briefly before looking back at Mary Margaret on her other side.
Mary Margaret, who lifts her hand and points.
Up.
 The moment Emma sees the symbols down the length of the bannister, she can feel Killian beside her go rigid. His breath stops . The letters look exactly like the ones on the note cards, like the ones on Leroyâs back, but they donât look carved into the metal, they look etched.
As if they were made by acid, something corrosive.
 She lifts her hand to trace them when an iron grip closes around her wrist and Killian next to her yells, â DONâT! â and yanks her arm away so forcefully, her shoulder protests loudly for a brief moment. He sits up, breathing hard, and when he speaks, his voice is a gravelly hiss.
âDonât touch anything.â He looks sharply at Emma and Mary Margaret. âNothing at all.â Then he turns to David. âWe need to photograph all of this. Do you have your crime scene kit and camera?â
The deputy nods, and Killian looks at August.
âGo with him,â he says. âHelp the deputy get his gear, take the photos. You know what to do. Touch nothing. â
It is only then that he seems to come back to himself and looks at Emma, ducking his head. âSorry. Iâm sorry. This is your crime scene. I just-- Iâm sorry.â
âItâs OK,â she says, and sits up, nodding. âGo ahead, David. Get the camera, document all of this. Make sure itâs sequential, and stays in order.â
 She stands, helps up Mary Margaret, and Killian looks relieved and contrite in equal measure.
âDid I hurt you?â He whispers. âYour arm, did it hurt? Iâm sorry.â
âIâm fine,â she says, and smiles. âDonât worry about me.â Â
Then she drops her voice low. âHave you seen this kind of thing before? Symbols on structures?â
Killianâs eyes are large and worried as he shakes his head. âNever. I donât know what to make of them.â Â
 Emma watches as his eyes drift over to August and the doctor, bent over the CSI cases with her deputy. Itâs a sign she has learned to recognize. Killian looking away in that manner is a clear indicator that heâs completely caught inside his own head.
So she waits.
 âThey werenât made by a quill,â he finally says. He turns his head back to her, his eyes focus slowly on hers.
Emma nods.  âI donât think they were made by any type of blade or point. It looked chemical, like the top layer of the steel was stripped.â
âWe have to swab it.â Killian shakes his head. âWe have to test it for particulates, residue, anything concrete---â
âAnd we will.â Emma slowly puts her hand on his arm. He looks so very strained. Â
âKillian.â She waits until he meets her eyes, gives her his full attention. âWeâll take all the samples and do all the tests, OK? And weâll be careful.â He gives her a wan smile. âBut now letâs sweep the area one more time and find out what Ms Blanchard wanted to----â
 â SHERIFF! â Itâs Mary Margaretâs voice, from the other side of the river. Its pitch is easily an octave above normal, and somersaulting all over her words. â SHERIFF! YOU HAVE TO COME HERE! â
David sprints past them with a clatter of hard-soled shoes, and Emma and Killian break into a run to follow.
Behind them Emma can hear both August and Whale, but slower.
On the other side of the bridge is a clearing which runs in a very gentle slope down to the wide, generous bank of the river. This side belongs to the forest - there are neither roads nor paths, just the trees and many, many animal prints leading down to the watering hole.
Mary Margaret stands at the far edge of the clearing, right at the tree line, white as a sheet and shaking. Â
âI knew they couldnât have just disappeared,â she says. Her eyes are glassy and sheâs mumbling to herself. âThey couldnât have, itâs just not possible.â
She looks at David. âI said it the first time, didnât I? That itâs not possible?â
Emma watches her deputy slowly take Mary Margaretâs hands and ask quietly, âWhat are you talking about? Whatâs impossible?â
Her eyes fill with tears. âGrahamâs tracks, they just disappeared, and now I know why.â
She swallows hard, and more tears fall.
âLook!â Her voice cuts out and she tries again. âLook up.â
 And six pairs of eyes lift to look at the trees above.
On a high branch in the tree to their left - an enormous rowan with quite a few leaves left - a figure swings gently in the wind.
Wearing a coarse linen robe, strung up by the wrists which are bound together underneath cupped hands, hangs the Huntsman.
-/-
âWhat. The Fuck.â
Victorâs eyes are enormous as he looks from the corpse dangling up high to each member of the group and then back again. He looks thoroughly bewildered and not a little afraid.
August canât blame him. Itâs a gruesome sight.
 The Sheriff and Killian subconsciously step closer to each other, but they donât touch. August can see Killianâs hand twitch like he wants to take hers and stops himself at the last moment. Repeatedly. Not like the deputy and the woman with the rifle. David is hugging her hard. It looks like she knew the victim.
 âWe have to cut him down,â August finally says, trying to keep his voice quiet, calm. While every fiber in his body is telling him to Run. Now.
Killian nods. âWithout touching anything.â He looks up again, squinting. âEmma? Are there carvings on the branches?â
Sheriff Swan whispers, âI canât tell.â And steps even closer to Killian. Thereâs barely an inch of space between them now, and August can see them for what they are: A unit. Â
This is new, and it takes him completely unawares.
The fact that Killian is part of something again.
Back in Boston, a lifetime ago, when August and Liam were partners and caught the first in that string of strange homicides which would end their lives figuratively for one and literally for the other, Killian was just a stuttering image and lagging audio across an old computer screen. Just someone Liam had videoconferenced to consult, because heâd had the sinking feeling that the randomly carved lines on the notecards were in fact not random at all. Especially not after they found similar ones across the back of the victim.
And Liam had been right.
The lines were not random, they were an ancient phonetic alphabet which had been used to transcribe another ancient language, and Liam asked his brother to come and consult.
To which Killian would blush and half-smile, and then roll his eyes and make another futile attempt to get Liam to say âyounger brotherâ. Which he never did.
 And then tragedy struck and that Killian, the one with the quick jokes and the easy smile and the laughing eyes vanished. He disappeared like the body of his brother they never found, and changed his lifeâs calling and purpose to the pursuit of atonement.Â
 Years now, years of this, of penance and pain and the weight of the dead.
Of sifting the wreckage of lives destroyed and deaths unavenged, while August dove into a bottle and never came back up for air.
 And now Killian is here, broken and damaged and yet functioning, and it throws August for a loop, hard, the way Killian and the Sheriff seem to vibrate along the same frequency. The way they are in tune, attuned, in this perfect sync and click which Killian has never had with anyone save his brother.
Itâs simultaneously the most hopeful and the most terrifying sign yet.
Thereâs a deafening crack , and Killian and David both shout, â GET BACK! â as the branch breaks off and slams to the ground, corpse and all.
âEverybody OK?â Emmaâs voice is unsteady. âAnyone hurt?â
August looks around, but everyone seems fine, and he breathes a sigh of relief.
Killian pulls at Emmaâs shoulder to look at her, and she smiles at him, tells him sheâs fine.
David is looking up at the tree, trying to gauge the damage.
The short-haired brunette has pulled the rifle off her back and is holding it in a firm regulation grip, barrel-down, index finger well away from the trigger. She definitely knows her weaponry, and seems to have a handle on her emotions now. Sheâs no longer crying.
And Victor----
 Itâs a second too late. He looks for Victor a second too late, a fleeting moment, a blink, a fucking fraction of time too late, because Victor has of course stepped forward
heâs a doctor, HeâsADoctor
up to the corpse
how could you forget heâs a fucking DOCTOR
and knelt down next to it
and he knows nothing about this case, nothing
and stretched out his hand, his bare hand
why didnât you check on Victor first
to touch----
 Killian and Emma and David and August simultaneously scream, â DONâT â, scream â STOP! â, and August leaps forward, but itâs too late
itâs too late
and Victorâs outstretched, bare fingers touch the cold, dead skin of Grahamâs wrist.
 Augustâs momentum rips Victor away a split second later, but itâs not enough, and he knows itâs not enough, and they both tumble to the ground amidst brown leaves and cold earth and August swears he can hear the jaws of fate snapping shut.
 And then there is silence.
-/-
How long?
 Itâs the question on everybodyâs mind. In everyoneâs eyes. Emma can almost taste it in the air.
 How long does he have?
 David is busy cordoning off a perimeter. For all the good it will do now. Â
Emma has called the ME, and Ashley says sheâll come down here with the siren, cut her driving time in half. Like itâs going to make a difference.
Victor sits on a tree trunk off to the side, pale, shaking, listening to Killian and August. Tell him about how he is going to--- how he is going to----Â
 âWhatâs going to happen to him?â
Emma turns and finds herself facing Ms Blanchard, her eyes narrowed, the rifle across her shoulder.
Emma shrugs. âIâm not sure, exactly.â
âI realize Iâm just a civilian. And an elementary school teacher to boot.â Ms Blancha rdâs tone is resolute and firm. Emma has no trouble believing she can keep infinite numbers of 4th graders in a very straight line. âBut I have eyes. Thereâs no need for discretion with me.â She shakes her head. âThat guy over there, heâs the next victim. Isnât he.â
Emma looks at the woman before her, and itâs almost a relief to be able to nod. âI think he might be.â
âGraham found the last victim, didnât he.â
Emma nods again.
âDo you think Graham touched him? Do you think thatâs why he died?â
Ms Blanchardâs voice shakes on the last bit, and Emma remembers that she was friends with the hunter. Â
âI think itâs very likely,â she says gently. âLeroy was prostrate on the bridge, not displayed in a tree. Graham probably tried to help, or check his pulse.â
âThat makes sense.â Ms Blanchardâs voice is very quiet now. âHe knew first aid. And he was a very decent person.â She looks up at Emma and sniffs, once. âDid you know he tried to call me before he died?â
âHe what?â
âItâs in my statement. I--- I told David?â
Emma shakes her head to clear it. Â
âMs Blanchard---â
âPlease Sheriff. I told you to call me Mary Margaret.â
Emma canât pay attention to niceties right now.
âWhen you say Graham called you before he died, what do you mean? How long before he died? What did you talk about?â
âWe didnât talk.â Mary Margaret looks supremely unhappy now. âHe called sometime after midnight. He tried, at least. I woke up to 23 missed calls.â She sniffs again. âIâm a heavy sleeper.â It sounds like an apology. âAnyway, by the time I woke up and found my phone, heâd stopped, and I tried to call back, but all I got was his voicemail, and I----â her voice breaks--- âand then I never saw him again.â
Sheâs holding on by the barest of threads. Emma feels a pang of empathy.
âIâm sorry Ms Blanchard.â
The brunette rolls her eyes.
âIâm sorry Mary Margaret ,â Emma says, and gets a wan smile in return. âBut thank you for telling me. This is incredibly helpful information.â
âHow so?â
âBecause this area is remote and wooded, and we have no less than five cell towers covering it.â Emma feels a slim ray of hope for the first time in a long time. This is tangible evidence. This is what she does. âAnd now we can triangulate the signals and track Grahamâs movements. His exact movements.â
-/-
âWe are not joking, Victor. This is real.â
 Augustâs voice is as soft as Killian has ever heard it, and Victor grows very, very still.
Only minutes ago he was rolling his eyes at Killian and August and laughing out loud at the preposterous notion of tangible evil that chooses its victims by touch, and Killian canât blame him for thinking they are short all the fries of a Happy Meal, but he is also so, so tired of fighting this fight.
Of explaining every preposterous aspect of this godforsaken case.
Over. And over. And over.
 He looks at Emma, talking to the school teacher, and she feels his gaze, meets his eyes, and smiles. It gives him enough strength to turn back to Victor, now pale and quiet, looking up at them with uncertain eyes and no small amount of fear.
He feels his gut tighten into nausea.
This is his friend.
His friend who is going to----
 Victor was Elsaâs friend first. She met him long after Liam died and she went back to work, met him at the hospital where she did her assessment sessions for insanity pleas. Suddenly the word âVictorâ crept into a lot of her stories, and Killian was so suspicious of him at first, just poised to hate him.
Until Elsa finally invited them both out for drinks, and Killian realized that Dr. Whale was just helping Elsa through things, and was not going to tarnish Liamâs memory.
He was also smart and wickedly funny and obviously cared a great deal about Elsa, and it was just so wonderful sometimes to have someone to talk to who knew nothing about impossible cases and deadly quills and runes carved in blood. Especially since August had disappeared down a long liquid spiral, and Elsa spent her nights surrounded by framed memories.
Killian had just completed his rookie year at the Boston PD and was spending all his time either trying to untwist Liamâs death or studying for the detectiveâs exam, and it was just such a pleasure to go meet Victor for drinks and talk about none of it .
 To just have a conversation about the Bruins (Killian doesnât know hockey, but he does know how to let other people talk about hockey), or about the Red Sox (same principle), or about the absolutely insane practical jokes surgeons play on each other (heâs now convinced theyâre all eternally just hitting puberty). So he went to whatever bar whenever Victor called to meet him, and for one night didnât think about anything, and simply enjoyed the fact that Victor was smart and wickedly funny and knew nothing. Â
And he didnât have to carry the weight of the dead for a little while.
 And now this friend, this friend, is going to----
Is going to----
 Next to Killian August crouches and pats Victorâs knee.
âHey,â August says, and his voice is still soft and careful. Not a hint of its usual mix of bitterness and irony. âWeâre not going to let anything happen to you.â
Victorâs eyes follow Augustâs movement, but donât seem to see him. August looks up. Â
âRight, Killian?â
Killian nods. There is no way he is losing another----
âRight.â August gets up and holds his hand out to Victor. âNow come with me. We are going to go back and have a fucking drink.â
Victorâs empty eyes blink.  âItâs not even 10AM yet.â
âTrauma exception,â August says, and pulls the doctor to his feet. âKillian, can I borrow your car?â
Killian watches them both walk away, and doesnât notice Emma until he feels her hand fold into his. Like itâs the most natural thing in the world.
Which it is.
âWhere are they going?â
He turns to look at her. Â
Standing there, in the middle of these woods, in the middle of this cursed case, faced with impossible odds and improbable facts, with nothing but a deputy whoâs never worked a homicide and an alcoholic ex-cop and a burned-out detective and an elementary school teacher on her side, Emma is holding his hand and offering comfort and care and support, and he lets go of her hand, catches the flash of hurt in her eyes, but he needs both of his hands, right now---
right now---
to lean inÂ
and take her faceÂ
and tilt it up
and kiss her.
 Like he means it.
Like he has never meant anything ever in his entire life.
His entire.
Life.
 She stiffens for a moment.
And then melts against him, like a key sliding into a lock, and she kisses him back
back
back
and it is everythingeverythingeverything. Â
 Everything.
.
There have been lessons in Emmaâs life, hard-won and arduous; lessons she fought and bled for for years. Â
She has learned that trust must be earned and sparingly given, promises are more often broken than kept, and that that which you do not feel cannot hurt you.
She has learned to be prudent with people and wary of good fortune, to not give without cause nor receive without caution, and that to be safe is always better than to be sorry.
She has learned that to be free of attachment, unbound by people or places or things, is the safest way to live.
 None it matters the moment his lips touch hers.
For one, brief, fleeting moment the lessons learned and the defenses built in their name scream in protest, and then---
and then---
 The warmth and peace and utter sense of belonging, and closeness, and oh god, home . The sense of being seen, and treasured, and fucking cherished . Itâs almost too much.
She has to breathe through the tears that are threatening to come, because he is kissing her like he is the river and she is the sea.
 And she should be afraid. Â
This is how they kiss on the rooftop in her vision amidst lightning and thunder and a storm raging destruction, which means they are another step closer to their inevitable demise, but she canât because nothing
nothingÂ
nothing can feel like this and be bad.
When he pulls back his eyes are soft, and he smiles a small, shy smile, and then whispers, âEmma?â
She nods. Her voice is not working.
âIâm not sorry,â he says. âIâve wanted to do that since----â He exhales, slowly. His hand runs down her arm until it reaches her hand, and he folds his fingers through hers. Â
And squeezes them, hard.
âIâve wanted to do that since the night we spent at Elsaâs house.â
Once again his voice is a whisper, and Emma thinks of that morning, when she woke up in a panic from the first vision and he came downstairs to comfort her, and in the middle of that room full of memories of everything heâd lost promised her they would prevail.
Promised her he would not let anything happen to her.
 Her eyes fill with tears and she simply stands up on tiptoes and kisses him again. He wraps himself around her with a sigh, and when they finally break apart he doesnât let go, leans his forehead against hers, rubs his thumb across her cheek. Takes a few deep breaths as if heâs about to say something - but remains silent.
 Then David very pointedly clears his throat and Emma remembers theyâre in the woods with her deputy and a civilian and a corpse . Â
âBack to work,â she whispers, and Killian smiles.
âYes,â he says. Just that one word. But she doesnât need anything else.
 Then she turns to David, and he lets go of her hand, and the loss of warmth is simply awful. But there is a killer to catch.
Also, David is scowling like thunder while Mary Margaret is rolling her eyes, and Emma nearly laughs out loud. Itâs so normal . Their reactions are so very much part of How Things Are Supposed To Be.
Not the Twilight Zone version her world has become. She half expects David to break out a lecture.
But instead he points across the bridge.
âI think Ashley is here,â he says, and they all watch the ME as she comes down the hill.
 Ashley looks around when she gets there; at the corpse on the ground, still tethered to a tree branch, at the blood-smeared rough linen of his gown, at his closed hands which are obviously holding an object, an object with brown barbules sticking out past his fingertips, and then she puts down her case.
âSomething brought down the Huntsman? â Ashleyâs voice is not quite steady.
Davidâs brow furrows. âYou knew Graham?â
âWe met once,â she says, shaking her head. âI took an orienteering /survival course years ago. He was the guide.â
Then she straightens up and puts her hands on her hips. âI think you owe me an explanation. Because whatever is being played here, itâs not a game.â
-/-
Back at the diner, August puts the cruiser in park and shuts off the engine. The man next to him hasnât said a word the entire drive.
âHey.â August keeps his voice quiet as he turns to the doctor. âHow about we---â
âI always knew there was something,â Victor cuts him off. Toneless and distant. âWith Killian and Elsa and the brother who died, I knew there was something.â
He looks up at August, and for the first time, he sees him. âIâd read about the cases, of course. I mean - for a while you couldnât get away from them, you know?â
 August does know. Serial killer on the loose. Random, mutilated victims. Unknown cause of death . It was in every newspaper, every news cycle, for weeks. For months .
And once Will had been killed----
August had known, then and there, that the case was going to get him, and not the other way around. But the notoriety, the constant press, had magnified each loss a hundred times over, until all he could do was disappear away from it all.
 âAnd Iâm not stupid,â Victor goes on. âI knew there were things the news didnât tell us, things Elsa and Killian didnât tell me, weird things.â He sighs. âThings that were---- odd. Strange, you know? They both seemed to carry something so--- heavy. More than the loss of a loved one.â
His blue eyes get very shiny. August has to actively stop himself from taking Victorâs hand.
âAnyway, I always thought there was something .â He shrugs. âAnd now I know.â
He lifts his hands, only to let them drop back into his lap. It looks utterly helpless.
âNow I know, and I wish I didnât.â
 âI know.â August takes a deep breath, and then he does reach for the doctorâs hand. âTrust me, I know.â
Victor looks up in wonder and doesnât pull away, and it gives August hope of a kind he hasnât felt in years.
âCome upstairs,â he whispers. âLetâs go upstairs and have a drink and talk this out. Because that thing is not going to get you, whatever it is. We are going to beat this, if itâs the last thing I do.â
And the doctor looks up and gives him a smile thatâs both terrified and hopeful and says, âGood.â
-/-
âAnd now?â
 They have documented the crime scene. Ashley has finished her on-site examination. They have loaded the corpse into her van and watched her drive off and promised to come by later to get her results and tell her what they know.
Mary Margaret looks pale and David looks worried and Killian looks dead on his feet.
 âItâs been hours,â Emma answers Mary Margaretâs question. âItâs freezing and none of us have eaten and Killian has boxes worth of files we havenât even opened yet.â She looks around. âKillian and I will go back to the station and order pizza and get started on my report and his files. David, can you take Mary Margaret home?â
âDonât even bother,â Mary Margaret says. âIâm coming to the station with you. I know you canât use me as a cop, because, well - Iâm not a cop, but Iâm coming. I make very good coffee, and you might need my expertise.â At their puzzled faces she adds, âYou have pictures of previous crime scenes, right? Were any of them outside? Is it possible that a tracker could be a helpful second pair of eyes?â
David says, âWe canât ask you to do that,â and Mary Margaret rolls her eyes hard. Itâs fast becoming Emmaâs favorite expression.
That woman plays her deputy like a fiddle already.
âI donât want to be home alone,â Mary Margaret says quietly. âAnd besides - the other two guys took Killianâs car. Which leaves us with exactly one vehicle.â
Well, she has a point. That woman is not a teacher for nothing. Â
David says, âYou really shouldnât---âÂ
And Emma cuts him off. âOf course you can come with us. There will be things we canât officially share with you, but your input could be valuable, and the safest place to be is the station.â
David blushes as Emma silently dares him to object, and she nods. âGo ahead and start loading the gear. Weâll be right up.â
 And then she turns to Killian. Â
âThereâs a couch at the station,â she says. âYou can take a nap while we wait for the pizza.â
He smiles and cups her cheek.
âIâd much rather go to my room. With you.â His smile gets a wicked edge. âTo talk about the case, of course.â
âOf course,â she says, and he leans in to kiss her. Itâs just as wonderful as it was the first time.  When they break apart, he sighs.
âEmma,â he says, and now the laughter is gone from his voice, and itâs so, so earnest. âI know youâre worried, and you have every right to be. And I know now we have to figure out impossible clues and an ancient unknown language and bloody magic , and save Victorâs life.â He takes a deep breath. âBut this?â His fingers brush past her lips, whisper down her jawline until they tangle in the hair at the back of her neck, warm and sure. âThis?â He repeats. âThis is not a mistake.â
He kisses her one more time, short, and urgent, and then looks at her and his eyes are burning.
âNothing that feels so right could ever be a mistake.â
 And Emma nods, because she feels the absolute truth of it down to the bottom of her battered soul.
.
.
A/N II: Hey, look everybody! The slow burn is finally catching fire! i really hope you enjoyed that, because OMG you all have earned it several times over. You really have waited long enough.
Thank you so much for reading and sticking with me. i love you all.
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if you live by the word, you die by the pen -- CH7
SUMMARY: Â Itâs just another day with bad coffee, the day that Sheriff Swan enters Detective Jonesâ precinct.
The fact that his life is about to come apart at the seams is purely incidental.
With apologies to Dashiell Hammett and James Ellroy, iâm playing in their sandbox and iâm taking the bucket and the shovel. Â You guys can keep the rake.
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|CH1| CH2 | CH3 | CH4 | CH5 | CH6 |
AO3 (if you want decent formatting, because tumblr does not).
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A/N: Darlings - thank you so much for being SO PATIENT. But now - we are finally getting somewhere. All the ducks are lining up in a row. (Well, iâm forcing them to line up. With moderate success. Ducks are not exactly trained professionals. And i will now let go of this metaphor before someone accuses me of undue torture.)
For @profdanglaisstuffâ who doesnât just lend her brilliance, but encourages my lunacy at every turn (people, you will see what i mean by the end of this chapter).
For @ohmightydevviepuuâ who is patient in all things birthday gift (you remember this is her story, right?) and all matters of CSSNS, which weâre writing together. (Yes, that was a shameless plug.)
For @snowbellewellsâ who has written some of the loveliest and most encouraging reviews for this i have ever had the good fortune to read, and i am humbled by her generosity.
Thank you as always to @captainsjediâ for the art which started it all.
And of course to all of you, ALL OF YOU, who have waited patiently and are still reading. Â
i love you so very, very much.  â€â€â€
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If you want on or off the tag list, let me know! Â (And seriously - if itâs âoffâ - please donât worry. Â Absolutely no hard feelings.)
 The blond stranger in the nice shiny car unlocks the door and looks up expectantly. August scratches his stubble and hopes he doesnât smell too much of beer. Â
He pulls out a stick of gum and mumbles, âEast. Towards the coast.â
Going back is easily the worst idea heâs had after a string of bad decisions so long it could wrap into the worldâs biggest ball of twine, and yet-- here he is.
 âHow far east?â
The stranger waves him in, and August takes a seat on buttery-soft leather. Everything about the blond man screams money. The large watch, the impeccably tailored suit, the custom-painted car - even the haircut looks excessively styled. It is a study in affluence and presentation.
Everything but the eyes.
The eyes look like they know the dirty end of the pool. Know it well. There is damage here, and pain.
 âItâs a small town, you wonât know it,â August says, and the stranger pulls back onto Route 2. âYou can just drop me off in Bangor. Or Newport, if youâre hitting the interstate.â
âThatâs interesting.â The stranger turns, brow furrowed, and August feels a small spike of worry. Not about the man, but about the tone with which he says, âinterestingâ.
âIâm headed to a small town near Bangor myself,â the stranger goes on. âStorybrooke.â
 Itâs a sign.
It has to be a sign.
It has to be a sign that he was meant to go back.
 âThat canât be---,â August croaks. Thereâs a lump in his throat. âThatâs where Iâm going.â
The strangerâs smile is strained, and yet genuine. âIsnât that a coincidence.â
The worry in Augustâs gut amplifies, but again, it doesnât settle on the man next to him. Just the circumstance. Â
âItâs very odd,â he manages to reply. Â
The stranger nods. âIt is. There have been an awful lot of odd things lately.â The last part he mumbles, clearly speaking to himself, before he shakes his head and looks back at August. Â
âSorry, brooding,â he says. His eyes are light blue and show clear signs of tension, but the smile remains genuine. âWhatâs your name?â
It takes August a moment to actually remember his name before he manages to say, âAugust. August Booth.â
âNice to meet you, August Booth,â the stranger replies. âIâm Victor. Dr. Victor Whale.â
-/-
Emma doesnât know how long sheâs been standing there, crying, and doesnât want to think about it. Killian is silent, unmoving, his arms wrapped tightly around her.
Solid.
Reassuring.
If only she werenât so terrified.
 She lifts her head and his arms relax, let her go slowly, his eyes never leaving hers.
And then he says, âDid you see a rooftop?â
Her knees buckle.
He simply pivots until theyâre both sitting on his bed, facing each other.Â
Emma blinks slowly.
Thereâs a faint feeling of nausea and vertigo.
 âYou saw a rooftop?â
He nods. âI did. A flat rooftop. Lots of wind.â
The nausea increases. So does the terror.
âWhat else did you see?â She can barely whisper.
âA thunderstorm,â he says, and Emma starts to shake. It canât be a coincidence.
âEmma?â He leans forward and very, very slowly reaches for her hand. He stops an inch above it and looks up, waiting for permission.
Sheâs afraid. So afraid. Of skin-on-skin contact.
But she nods.
 He puts his hand on hers, and nothing happens. Nothing but the familiar spreading of warmth and the feeling of being safe, safe and---
âWhatever this is, youâre in the middle of it.â It hurts her to say, but the time for denial has passed.
He saw the rooftop.
He heard the thunder.
âIt only comes out when we touch.â
He nods. Waits for her to go on, to work through it.
âI know it happened when I touched Elsa, but--- this thing ,â she waves a vague circle in the air, âElsa had it, too. It might just be---â Â
 Itâs too strange and too fucking complicated.
And too impossible.
 âOK. I canât explain Elsa, not really, but I think when we touch, you and I, I think maybe youâre like-- like an amplifier? For energy thatâs already inside me? Or maybe a conduit? And the more often we touch, the stronger the current, and the stronger the current, the more--- fuck . I donât know.â
She looks up at him, helpless.
âI canât explain it, Killian. I donât even know what it is. What does it mean? And why canât it just mean that Iâm losing my mind?â
 âYouâre not losing your mind,â he says, and she shouldnât be as relieved as she is that he sounds so very sure. âAnd we might not be able to figure it out tonight. But,â he squeezes her hand and his eyes look grave, âI think we must simply be open for anything. Not deny what is happening, no matter how outlandish. Not ignore anything, not repress or rationalize. I think we need to be vigilant for more signs. And you need to listen.â
âListen to what?â Her voice is small.Â
âYourself. Everything thatâs happening inside your head.â
She shudders. âLike Iâm not terrified enough just sitting here.â
He lifts her hand again, puts it over his heart.
âI know,â he whispers. âI know. But I think itâs the only way.â
 She nods.
Heâs right.
She canât think of a single alternative.
 Then he slowly lets go and gets up.
âNeither one of us has eaten since breakfast, and itâs dinnertime.â He holds out his hand. âLetâs go downstairs and have some food and then you can tell me exactly what you saw.â
She feels cold and numb and helpless, but then she takes his hand and he pulls her up. Â
âSee?â His eyes are soft as he smiles at her. âWhatever it is, itâs not a bad thing when we come in contact.â The tips of his ears turn bright red as he scratches behind the right one. âNothing that feels--- nothing this warm and---â he shuffles and huffs and looks away. âIt canât be bad. It canât feel like this and be bad.â
 And no matter what else, Emma has to agree.
-/-
âWhere are you coming from?â
 Itâs the first thing August has dared say since they exchanged names. The man next to him is intimidating in his incongruity, in the way he seems both put together and yet unbalanced. It looks like a carefully constructed image in which Dr. Victor Whale has created himself, one which doesnât quite suit him, but which he takes great pains to maintain.
His eyes are a dead giveaway that all is not what it seems, and that the careless entitlement proclaimed by the wrapper is most certainly not the content of this package.
 Sometimes August misses being a detective.
 âBoston,â the man says, and August frowns.
âBoston-- how on earth did you come to pick me up along Route 2 in fucking New Hampshire?â He stops himself and smiles, chagrined. Â
âSorry,â he says. âSorry for the language.â
Whale laughs out loud. It sounds heartfelt, but like heâs out of practise. âAre you kidding? Iâm a surgeon . You donât know language until youâve been in an OR. Tarantino on his best day couldnât write what we say in there.â
August has to grin. âYou should see a metropolitan precinct bullpen at 4AM on Halloween. When youâre questioning suspects as they puke on you.â
The doctor laughs again. It sounds marginally more relaxed. âIs that what you do? Youâre a cop?â
 It hits him out of nowhere and August has to take a very deep breath.
 And another.
 And another.
 âI used to be,â he finally manages, and opens his backpack. âIs it OK if I have a beer?â
Whale turns, and looks at him with uncomfortably sharp eyes, and then nods. Â
âItâs fine,â he says quietly. âGo ahead.â Â
He looks back at the road. âBut to answer your question, itâs because Iâm an idiot.â At Augustâs puzzled look he clarifies, âThe reason I picked you up in New Hampshire, way off course.â
âYou canât be an idiot. Youâre a fucking doctor.â
Whale shakes his head. âYeah, well, Iâm also a very tired man coming off an 18-hour shift, and didnât realize I was going up I-93 instead of I-95 until I was in the middle of White Mountain National Forest.â
 There it is again.
Another sign.
This man, who picked him up off the side of the road while August was still contemplating changing his mind and continuing to run wasnât even supposed to be there.
Was supposed to be on a freeway a hundred miles east.
Yet here he is instead, on the same road as August, on his way to the same fucking town, and it canât be a coincidence.
 âIn that case I am both extremely lucky and very grateful you came along,â August says, and takes a large sip of his beer.
Whale throws him the first smile that reaches his eyes. âMy pleasure,â he says, and turns back to the road.
.
-/-
âDavid?â
When he hears his name he snaps back to reality and it feels like coming out of hibernation. He realizes that he is still holding Grahamâs file in his hand, and that the only light inside the station comes from Emmaâs desk. When he looks up he sees Mary Margaret looking down at him, her eyes sharp and her lips pinched and worried.
 âDavid?â Definitely worried. âWhat are you doing here, sitting in the dark?â
 He doesnât know. Doesnât remember what he was thinking. Doesnât remember why he is here.
 âDavid - are you all right?â
Possibly. Maybe. But that is not her concern. It shouldnât be.
âIâm fine Ms--- sorry.â He blinks and shakes his head. Itâs like his brain is on a delay. He blinks again, gets up and turns on the overhead light. âWhat can I do for you?â
âYou--- David, you look really out of it. Are you sure youâre OK?â
 He wonât admit it under pain of death, but that note of worry in her voice is the nicest thing thatâs happened to him, ever.
 âIâm fine,â he smiles, and she beams back at him. âWhat do you need?â
âI was thinking,â she says, âabout Graham. And how his tracks disappeared.â Â
David can feel his whole body stiffen in fear.
âTell me you didnât go out to the bridge by yourself.â He grabs her arm, squeezes tightly. âTell me you didnât.â
âOf course not,â she says with a full-body eyeroll. âIâm not an idiot.â Her eyes grow marginally softer. âAnd besides. I promised you.â
He breathes a sigh of relief. Â
âBut a thought did occur to me,â she goes on, her voice pensive. âAnd itâs crazy, I know that, but the whole time we were checking out the scene, all three times we went there, you know what we never did?â
David slowly shakes his head, and the fear comes back fast and hard.
âWhat?â He rasps. âWhat didnât we do?â
Mary Margaret meets his gaze head on. âLook up.â
-/-
âSo this is the diner you said also has rooms?â
 August stretches and nods at the doctor. Heâs hungry, and he did like Grannyâs, back when he stayed here. Did like the rooms, whenever he wasnât sleeping in Sheriff Swanâs holding cell.
The rooms were infinitely more comfortable.
He nods, smiles a bit and motions towards the door.
 âItâs probably not what youâre used to, given that your shoes probably cost more than my rent back in Boston, but Granny makes a mean onion ring, and the rooms are clean.â
The doctorâs eyes narrow. âHow would you know what Iâm used to,â he mumbles as he opens the door. Â
And then freezes.
Just stands in the doorway, still as a statue, and just as immovable.
August follows his line of sight and sees two people facing each other in a booth on the left. A woman with blonde hair and her back to him, and a man with dark hair and enough scruff to nearly qualify as a beard.
 Killian is here.
Killian is here, talking to Sheriff Swan.
And the doctor is staring at them both.
 He knows them.
He knows at least one of them.
Heâs here because of at least one of them.
 âKillian?â Whale finally shakes his head and releases the door.
â Victor? â Killian looks up, surprise clear on his face, and then his eyes wander over and settle on--Â
â August? â
The sheriffâs head whips around at that and August can tell that she knows a lot more than she did the last time he saw her. A lot more.
âWe were trying to find you,â Emma says, and gets up. âKillian said we needed you, needed your help, but I couldnât find a trace of where youâd gone.â
âI wasnât a detective for nothing.â August grins for a moment. âIf I donât want to be found, I---â Â
But one look at Killianâs face tells him exactly why Killian needs help, and August wishes fervently that back at that rest stop heâd told his conscience to shove it and kept running.
Also, he should not have stuck to beer. He is way too sober for this.
 âCan somebody tell me whatâs going on?â Whaleâs voice sounds strained and uncertain as he looks at the Sheriff, and August picks up an undercurrent of--- something. He fixates on it, concentrates on it, in order to not have to think about anything else.
âAnd who are you?â
âSorry,â Killian gets up as well. âVictor - this is Storybrookeâs Sheriff, Emma Swan. Emma, this is Dr Victor Whale, a friend of mine from Boston.â
âVictor will do,â Whale says and shakes Emmaâs hand, but his movements are stiff.
 August slides into the booth next to Emma and backs into the corner to get the best possible view of all the actors in this little drama.
Because thereâs no way heâs thinking about blood-soaked symbols and bloodier quills before heâs had a lot more alcohol.
No way.
He orders a double shot of rye.
 âTell me again why youâre here? And--- how on earth did you two meet?â Killian sounds puzzled, like this is too big a coincidence. August is inclined to agree.Â
âElsa called me,â Whale says, his voice strained. âShe said youâd gone hunting down old ghosts. Said someone had to keep an eye on you.â
 The last part is a lie. The doctor is not here because he was sent by anyone. He is definitely here out of his own free will.
 âAnd you?â
Itâs the sheriff who asks, and August quirks a brow at her. Donât think . âMissed the cot in your holding cell.â
âSmartass.â She smiles at him, and August watches as Killianâs face grows soft as he looks at the sheriff, watches as Whaleâs expression goes blank as he looks away.
 âI was almost in Lancaster,â August says, because not thinking will only get him so far, and he might as well accept that heâs here now, back in the fucking thick of it. âI almost kept running.â He shrugs. âBut then I thought, Iâm never going to be able to run far enough or fast enough to escape it.â
The waitress brings his double shot just in time, and he slams it down and orders another.
Then he sighs, and the sheriff pats his arm, her eyes kind.
âI know I havenât been a detective in forever,â he goes on, and does not count the number of years itâs been. âAnd I know Iâm not exactly, well---â
He canât finish that sentence, not with everyone looking at him full of empathy. Where is that damn rye? Â
âBut Iâm here to help.â
âIâm glad you came back,â Sheriff Swan says, her voice low and sincere. âWe definitely need help.â
 And then her phone rings.
The longer she speaks, the tenser her shoulders. The muscle in her jaw jumps, and Killian leans forward, worry clearly written all over his features, and almost touches her hand.
The Sheriff smiles at Killian, strained but grateful, and then August catches the expression on Victorâs face, and oh.
Oh.
 Well.
This is going to end in heartbreak.
 âDavid says Ms Blanchard came up with some interesting theories regarding the tracks surrounding the bridge,â Emma says as she hangs up. âAnd he also says he has to show us something on the bridge itself.â She quirks a tired eyebrow at Killian. âHe was going to show us after we got back from the cabin, but apparently, we never did make it back to the station, and now itâs too dark .â
She does a perfect impression of her Deputy in full huff, and Killian laughs out loud. A faint blush creeps across Emmaâs cheeks and Whale across from her looks like it physically hurts him to sit in the booth.
 Then Emma checks her watch. Â
âItâs late,â she says, âand there is nothing else we can do tonight. Letâs all get some sleep---â she looks pointedly at Killian, who has dark purple shadows under his eyes, âand meet back here at 7 for breakfast, OK?â
August nearly chokes on his second double shot and coughs for a solid 30 seconds. Â
âOh god,â he finally croaks, âby all that is good and holy, Sheriff, please make it 8.â
She rolls her eyes, but nods, and they all awkwardly slide out of the booth.
 âYou can stay here,â Killian says to Whale. âThe rooms are decent.â
âSo Iâve been told,â Victor smirks, and August has to smile.
He watches as Victor walks up to Granny and asks about her rates, and admits to himself that the doctor has a very nice smile, and a very nice ass. Even if heâs crushing on the impossible get.
 Yes, this definitely has the potential to end in heartbreak.
Unless.
-/-Â
  âIâm walking you home.â
âDonât be ridiculous.â
 Itâs a standoff without winners. Killian looks as determined as Emma has seen him yet, and she feels equal parts touched and supremely annoyed. Â
She does not need a chaperone.
But he doesnât blink.
 âStop it,â she says. âIâm a sheriff. I can take care of myself.â
âSwan,â he sighs, but his voice has no give. âDonât you think I know that by now?â A note of steel creeps into his tone, subsumes the permanent exhaustion. âDo you really believe I doubt your abilities? Still?â
The note of steel isnât irritation, she realizes. Itâs--- distress. Â
âEmma.â Even quieter now. Even more urgent. âThis is no time for----â He stops. Clears his throat. âI know you are tough and skilled and resourceful. Everyone so far has been tough and skilled and resourceful. Every one.â
Oh god. Â
âPlease---â His voice cuts out, he shakes his head. âJust let me see you home. If for nothing else but my own peace of mind.â
 And suddenly it is easy to concede.
 âBring your overnight bag,â she says, amazed that it took her so long to suggest it, dancing around misplaced pride and unnamed emotions as she has been for days now. âYou can crash on my couch.â
He looks unspeakably relieved.
She waits as he runs up to his room, shakes her head at herself.
Maybe on her couch he will finally get some sleep.
.
âBoy Scout packing his toothbrush?â
Augustâs voice tears her from her thoughts and she watches as he slowly makes his way down the dinerâs front steps.
âDid you just call Detective Jones a Boy Scout? â
August laughs and pulls out a flask. âTrust me, Sheriff. The shoe fits.â
âApart from the fact that he breaks all the rules and he drinks like a fish.â
âDoes he now,â August says, and lifts his flask. âCheers.â Â
He takes a long sip and sits down at one of the empty tables. âFrom where Iâm standing the boy is stone cold sober and has his demons well on a leash.â He holds the flask out to her. âDrink?â
Emma shakes her head. Â
âBe careful, Sheriff.â
She scoffs and gears up to tell August exactly what she thinks of his advice when he cuts her off.
âDonât.â Augustâs voice is pure flint. âDonât even think you know what this is all about. What it will do to you, to your town, to your deputy. Donât you dare look at Killian as a piece of damaged goods. You wait and watch everyone you love die and then, maybe , you get to have an opinion. If you have enough sanity left for one.â
He looks at her like a piece of refuse, and she realizes that she couldnât speak if she tried.
He takes another sip. âHeâs a fucking university professor charging headfirst into dark alleys and crack dens and shots fired, so donât you dare . Heâs still on the job. Heâs still functioning.â
 âI donât think of him as damaged goods.â Emmaâs voice is gravel and shame. âI never thought that.â
August gets up, takes a step towards her, enters her space. Focuses his eyes squarely on her. She can smell cheap whisky on his breath.
But his eyes are clear, and she holds his gaze. Doesnât blink until he finally nods.
âGood,â he says, and she feels like she just passed the most important test she has ever taken.
 âWhatâs going on here?â
Killian looks puzzled and August leans back as he and Emma both say, âNothing.â And Killianâs brows furrow.
Emma stands frozen and August whispers, âSorry if I came on a bit strong. Old ghosts.â
She nods, and he turns to Killian. Â
âI wish I could say Iâm happy to be here.â Â
He holds out the flask, but Killian declines, and August shoots Emma a look that could have cut glass. She bites her lip hard, needs the pain to anchor her to this moment. To stay in the present. Â
Then August turns back, shrugs, and smiles at the detective. âBut it is good to see you, old friend.â
Killian grins, small and wistful. âIt is. You staying here?â
August nods. âClean sheets and a liquor license? I could do worse.â
âMuch worse.â Killianâs grin widens for a moment, before once again turning somber. âKeep an eye out for Victor? I donât know why heâs here, and he looked a bit spooked.â
âYou donât know why heâs here?â August laughs out loud. Â
Killian shakes his head, and Emma gets the feeling she is missing something big.
âI canât believe they ever made you a detective.â August laughs again. âYou donât notice shit.â
And with that he takes another long swig and makes his way up the steps.
âBut donât worry, princess,â he shoots back over his shoulder. âIâll keep both eyes peeled.â
Emma can hear him laughing all the way up the stairs.
.
âYou all right, Swan?â Â
She hasnât spoken the entire way to her house, and his words sound strangely loud after the perfect silence of their walk.
âFine,â she says, unlocks the front door, and turns on the light.
 The living room looks--- lovely. Bright and homey, with a comfortable-looking couch and an overstuffed chair and books everywhere . Itâs how his own living room used to look, more or less, back when he had a life. Itâs how he would like to live again, someday. When he gets his life back. Â
If he gets his life back.
 Emma is walking around, rambling on about sheets on the couch and blankets to spare and does he need pillows? - and he reaches for her arm.
She stills in her tracks, an afghan in one hand and a cushion in the other, and he swears she is vibrating . âEmma,â he says, and sheâs not looking at him, not moving, not breathing, and he asks again. âAre you all right?â
âI think youâre the smartest man I ever met,â she says, and turns towards him. There are tears in her eyes, and the words sound like they were ripped straight from her soul. âI think youâre brilliant and brave and stronger than----â
Her voice breaks on a sob and she yanks her arm from his grip with force.
âAnd I never thought you were damaged goods, I never thought, I----â
She sobs again, and tears start to roll down her cheeks.
âBut I did.â Her voice is a cracked whisper. âOh god, Killian, I did. I thought--- oh my god, I did .â
She wipes her cheeks in hard, angry swipes, and he wishes there was something he could say, because sheâs obviously distressed, but he doesnât even know whatâs happening.
âYou said you were all those things, but youâre not, youâre not , and I thought all the wrong---â her voice is somersaulting--- âand then August came and said all the--- and I just--- I just----â Â
A sob hits her so hard, it sounds like sheâs choking.
âIâm so sorry,â she whispers. âIâm so so so sorry.â
She hands him the blanket and the pillow.
âPlease make yourself at home. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. The bathroom is down the hall. Whatâs mine is yours.â She wipes her cheeks again. Tries to smile. Fails. âIâll see you in the morning. Just - take anything you need.â Â
And then she turns to go upstairs and leaves Killian standing in the middle of the room.
Completely bewildered.
 .
âHey.â
 Itâs pitch dark out still. She was trying to be as quiet as possible, but there he is in her kitchen doorway, running a hand through his disheveled hair as he looks at her closely. She knows her face is still red and puffy. She canât bring herself to care.
 She puts down the coffee can and looks up. âDid you get any sleep?â
He smiles. Itâs happy and unguarded and makes him look so very young . âI did. Best sleep I had in years.â
âIâm sorry,â she says, because it canât wait. âIâm sorry about last night. I donât know what came over me.â
He takes a small step towards her.
âEmma.â  His voice is as kind as his smile. âYouâve had some cruelly hard days and barely any rest. Iâm amazed youâre ambulatory, never mind sane.â His hand reaches for hers slowly, and the moment they touch the lovely warmth spreads through her again, and oh, how she missed it.
âYouâd be entitled to a bona fide nervous breakdown by now, and yet youâre just plugging away as if this were any other case.â
He takes her other hand. It feels so safe, she nearly cries again.
âSo give yourself a break. You have nothing to be sorry about. Iâve been where you are, and trust me, I was in much worse shape then than you are now.â
 She swallows hard.
Part of her wants to tell him to leave, not to go through all of this again.
Part of her wants to figure this out and put an end to the whole thing, once and for all.
Most of her just wants to remain here, in limbo, holding his hand.
 âSo please donât be sorry,â he says. Â
She nods and silence descends upon them. His hands are warm, folded through hers, and he pulls both of them up, against his heart, and they just look at each other.
Breathing in rhythm.
Emma thinks she can hear their hearts beating. Together.
She canât think, canât move, canât do anything but stand there in her kitchen, with his blue eyes on hers and his warmth in her veins.
 After an eternity he whispers, âThis too, shall pass.â
And for a moment Emma gets the feeling that thatâs not what he wanted to say at all.
.
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THANK YOU ALL - for reading and for being so incredibly patient.
And about that new pairing that's starting to emerge here, all i have to say is that i did NOTHING. OK? NOTHING. August got into Victor's car and they started making googly eyes at each other totally without my doing. đ€Ł
And then @profdanglaisstuffâ came along and coined this pairing DOCTOR WOOD, (which is brilliant and perfect and i laughed out loud when she suggested it), and egged me on - and there you have it.
DOCTOR WOOD has all the earmarks of becoming my new favorite chew toy.
if you live by the word, you die by the pen -- CH 5
SUMMARY: Â Itâs just another day with bad coffee, the day that Sheriff Swan enters Detective Jonesâ precinct.
The fact that his life is about to come apart at the seams is purely incidental.
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With apologies to Dashiell Hammett and James Ellroy, iâm playing in their sandbox and iâm taking the bucket and the shovel. You guys can keep the rake.
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|CH1| CH2 | CH3 | CH4 |
AO3Â (if you want decent formatting, because tumblr does not)
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A/N: Guys. i am so sorry that took so long. My life exploded and suddenly there was no more free time for several weeks, and anyway, finally, here it is.
i hope to make up for some of your wait with this beast of a chapter, in which you Really Find Out Some Things. Also - i know iâve said this before, but kids, this really was so so so so hard to write. This story is turning out to be so much more complex than ever i anticipated, and, well, all iâm saying is at this point, i canât wait to write a nice, violent, bloody fight to the death. i mean pain. Fight to the pain. OBV. đ
@profdanglaisstuffâ is the reason there is a chapter, pure and simple. Sheâs also the reason it makes sense. Because OMG it just becomes more and more apparent how much i am not a linguist. At all. (Write a story where a major plot point is language, i thought. It will be fun, i thought. i should NEVER BE ALLOWED TO THINK AGAIN! đ) Saira, THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING.
And as always - thank you to @captainsjediâ for the incredible art that started it all, and to all of you wonderful people reading, even though i left you hanging for so long - THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!  i love you all.  â€â€â€
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If you want on or off the tag list, let me know! Â (And seriously - if itâs âoffâ - please donât worry. Â Absolutely no hard feelings.)
The pounding is unforgivably loud for the early hour of the day, and David is absolutely indignant about it right up until the point when he opens his door.
Mary Margaret Blanchard is on the other side, and her facial expression redefines upset .
âDeputy,â she says, out of breath and holding back tears, âplease Deputy, I think something bad happened. I canât get a hold of him, and his tracks just stopped .â
She holds up her cell as if it explains everything. Her eyes are wide and the hand holding her phone is shaking. David opens the door to invite her in and realizes with the sudden clarity of supreme embarrassment that he is wearing pajamas, proper blue pajamas with white piping, and he feels mortified for a fraction of a second, before looking at Mary Margaretâs eyes again.
 The woman before him is not prone to panic nor hysterics, and yet she is in the throes of both. This is not the time for bashfulness. Even if a small, minuscule part of his brain wishes she had not seen him in sleep clothes befitting his grandfather.
 âPlease come in,â he says gently, and motions down the hallway. âKitchenâs right this way. Let me put some clothes on and then you can tell me everything, OK?â Â
Mary Margaret nods. It looks numb. She doesnât move.
âMs Blanchard?â David lightly touches her elbow. âCan you go and wait in the kitchen for me?â
At that she finally looks at him, truly sees him for the first time since she got here. Â
âYes. Sorry. Yes, I can.â She quirks a wan grin. âAnd I thought I told you to call me Mary Margaret.â
-/-
They havenât spoken in minutes, many long minutes, and Killian just stands there with his arms around Emma. She is warm, and her breathing is relaxed and even, and itâs all he can do to stop his mind from racing down every single awful path of premonition and just stay in the moment. Heâs terrified and warm and safe at the same time and his mind balks at the contradiction, fight or flight knocking at the edges of his consciousness, but he stays still and listens to her breathe.
Itâs his first peaceful moment in forever.
The sound of a door opening somewhere upstairs makes them both straighten up and move apart slowly. By the time Elsa enters the room, there are three feet between them and a sense of loss that remains.
 âYou guys sleep OK?â Elsa twists her hair up and doesnât wait for an answer. âWant some breakfast?â
They follow her into the kitchen.
Itâs bright and welcoming even in the flat November morning sunshine, and he looks at Emma as she sits down at the table, with just her t-shirt and her hair all tousled, smiling gratefully at Elsa as she takes a proffered mug and the smell of coffee in the air, and he canât .
 âWe canât do this here.â His voice is sharp, and he doesnât care. âWe have to go to my place.â
 He canât sit here in this lovely kitchen with the sunlight and the toasting English muffins, canât do this in this house of sadness next to the pictures of Liam and laughter and happier days, canât talk about Evil while drinking Elsaâs premium roast, because heâs absolutely terrified and he is T minus 5 for a meltdown.
They have to leave. Have to.
 Elsaâs mouth opens in protest and he cuts her off. Â
âThere are things I have to show Emma. From the last case. Your explanations wonât make any sense otherwise.â
Elsa quirks a supremely sarcastic eyebrow. âLike they were going to make much sense either way.â Â
âShe needs context.â
Elsa gives him a long, sharp, figuring look, and finally turns to Emma, who has been watching them in silence. Â
âDo you want to take a shower first? Get out of these clothes? You can borrow some of mine.â
Emma nods.
Killian breathes a sigh of relief.
-/-
âGraham is missing.â
 David has just managed to put on clothes and Mary Margaret has somehow managed to have two steaming cups of strong black tea ready in the short time it took him to do so. Her hands are unsteady as she hands him one cup, and he has to stop himself from reaching for her.
Thatâs not professional.
 Instead he sits down at his kitchen table with her and pulls out a notepad and pen. âGraham? Graham Humbert?â
She nods.
âWhat makes you think heâs missing?â
Mary Margaretâs eyes harden like flint at What makes you think , but her voice stays even. She has incredible self-control.
âI got 23 calls from Graham. 23 calls in the space of just over 10 minutes. Thatâs a call every 30 seconds.â
David notices the back of his neck get hot. Â
âDoes he---â he clears his throat-- âdoes he call you often?â
Mary Margaret gives him a full-body eyeroll that lets David know exactly what she thinks of this sudden surfacing of misplaced jealousy and says, âHave you ever hit redial every 30 seconds for 10 minutes? Ever ?â
David can feel an atomic-heat blush start to creep up his neck and shakes his head no.
âWell then, Deputy ---â oh, the superiority that woman can pack into a single word--- âin that case Iâm thinking Graham had a very urgent reason to do so.â
 She has a point.
David is now wondering why Mary Margaret never went for law enforcement.
Heâs also thinking that whatever grade she teaches must bring forth the most well-behaved and comprehensively educated children in the county. At least.
 âTrue,â he says. âHis reason must have been compelling. However---â David makes a note to do the most thorough background check heâs ever done on Graham Humbert--- âI still donât know why you think heâs missing.â
âHeâs not at home,â Mary Margaret says, point blank. âI missed his calls, all of them, because I was asleep. I called him back several times and got his voicemail each time. So I went to his house. I know where he keeps his spare key.â
David bites down hard on â oh you do, do you â and nods. âGo on.â
âHis house is empty and his bed has not been slept in. His rifle and hunting pack were gone.â
âIsnât it much more likely that heâs actually on a hunt? That heâs out somewhere with no cell reception and just hasnât come back yet?â
 Mary Margaret shakes her head, but both her superiority and her impatience have vanished and made way for worry. Very real, genuine worry. David forbids himself to react.
 âI thought that too, at first.â Her voice sounds small now, and not at all like the formidable woman she was just moments ago. âBut it was so strange. He never calls, unless itâs about community business---â David isnât relieved by this, not at all --- âand he very rarely hunts at night. None of us are really night hunters - we donât have that many nocturnals worth hunting in the area, and it requires a lot more skill and a lot more equipment. Just--- boar, occasionally. But thatâs what I thought at first, you know? Razorbacks have been spotted and Graham loves them in stew.â
She takes a deep breath and looks at David, and he can see panic in her eyes now. Itâs kept on a tight rein, but itâs there.
He puts down his notepad and tries to make his voice gentle. âBut--- you donât think thatâs what it is?â
Mary Margaret shakes her head. âI followed his tracks. From the house. I had to---- I donât know what I was thinking. I wanted to see for myself.â
 Fear, real, palpable, genuine fear starts to pool in Davidâs stomach and without thinking he takes her hand. Itâs cold. Â
 âIt was hard going - heâs a skilled hunter and it was pitch dark, although I do have a really good flashlight.â
He smiles a wan smile.
âHis tracks zigzagged a bit, but eventually they headed to the watering spot at the river. By the bridge.â
Davidâs breath stops.
It cannot be.
 Mary Margaret nods slowly, and looks up at David, tears in her eyes. âHis tracks go all the way down the hill, and then---â she takes a deep breath that sounds more like a sob--- âthen they just--- disappear.â
-/-
As the three of them climb the stairs to his apartment, Emma can hear Killian breathing much harder than he should going up a few flights. She remembers just how tired heâs looked ever since he showed up at her crime scene, remembers that she herself woke him up to get answers not 24 hours ago.
Was it really just yesterday morning that she knocked on his door?
 The building is run-down and ugly. There is marker graffiti on the walls, spaced around cracks and chipped paint and splintered bannisters. The stairwell bulbs are flickering neon, the steps creaky and uneven. Killian pulls open the door to the 3rd story corridor and finally stops in front of a door with four deadbolts that doesnât quite fit its frame. Thereâs an actual gap above the top hinge.
Emma shudders.
This is not safe, not at all.
 Killian turns around and looks at her. âMy place is not exactly---â
He huffs and tries again.
âI donât do a lot of entertaining,â he says, and his attempt at self-deprecating humor makes Emma ache. He smiles, but itâs small and apologetic. âAnyway, Iâm really sorry for the mess.â
She nods and tries to look reassuring, but heâs already turned back to the door, unlocking the deadbolts.
Then they enter and Killian flicks on the light and Emmaâs breath catches.
She can hear Elsa behind her gasp.
 Itâs only one room, with a small kitchenette in the far left corner and a mattress in the far right. At the center of the room is a ratty couch with a leaning coffee table covered in empty bottles,Â
Empty liquor bottles.
Rum, from the looks of it.
Thereâs brown shag carpeting, and a small TV on top of a milk crate, and a stack of empty pizza boxes next to a side door which Emma assumes must lead to the bathroom.
There is not one personal item anywhere. The room is utterly transient. It is not a home, it is merely a place to stay.
 But that is not what has made their breath catch, hers and Elsaâs.
The side wall looks like itâs straight from the set of a serial killer movie. It is full of newspaper clippings and post-its and photos, notes and explanations and printouts.
On the floor before it are almost a dozen cardboard file boxes, some open, some stacked. File folders are everywhere.
Everywhere.
Emma counts no less than three notepads, filled with neat, tightly-spaced writing.
 Behind her Elsa exhales slowly. Â
âKillian.â Itâs a whisper. âOh, Killian. You should have told me.â
He turns and looks at her and Emmaâs heart constricts.
âThere was nothing to tell,â he says, and it sounds final. Â
Then he looks at Emma. âCome sit down,â he says and points at the couch. âThis is not going to be easy to hear.â
 Emma sits down on the couch and the springs dig into her backside. No one could possibly get any rest or relaxation on this instrument of torture. Â
Killian in turn plucks a few photocopies off the wall and hands them to her. They are notecards, the by-now familiar symbols smeared in places. The smears are eerie and ominous, even in black and white.
âAre these from your case? From before?â Â
He nods.
She can practically see the rusted red of the originals. âThey look the same? Like-- theyâre the same symbols?â
He nods again. âThey are. Itâs a script called Ogham - a very early alphabet which originated in Ireland. There is some dispute over its inception, but there is compelling evidence that it originated within the 1st century BC.â
Emma looks down at the photocopies in her hands. âSo this is Irish?â
âNo.â His posture changes, becomes straighter and yet more relaxed somehow. âThe alphabet used on the cards originated in Ireland. The language did not.â Â
 The lines on his face smooth out, his features become animated, his voice utterly self-assured. He knows this.
Knows it, and loves it.
 âThere are far fewer writing systems than there are languages, because many languages use similar alphabets, or variants thereof. For example, French and English and German and Spanish and Dutch and about a hundred others use the Latin alphabet. There are dozens of countries using variants of Cyrillic, and a dozen more using variants of Arabic. This of course is a broad generalization. Itâs a lot more complicated than that, and Iâd be happy to explain this in detail some other time.â
 His eyes are shining, his hands in constant movement, gestures punctuating each of his points. He looks like a completely different person.
Here, here is the man from the photograph.
âNow, the thing about Ogham is that itâs phonetic ,â he goes on. âWhich means it can be adapted to any language that uses the same or similar enough phonemes. It wouldn't suit tonal languages or other ones that had very different phonetic structures, but---â
 Elsa clears her throat, and he looks up in surprise. Like he just now realizes where he is.
âSorry. Got a bit technical.â His right hand comes up to scratch behind his ear, and itâs ridiculously endearing. âWhat?â
Emma smiles at him. Â
âItâs just---â She shakes her head, still smiling.. âElsa said you were a professor at Oxford, but I couldnât picture it until just now.â
.
If there were any justice in this world, this sentence would not hurt as much as it does.
There is no justice in this world. It feels like a knife to his heart. Â
 âThat was a long time ago,â he says, and his voice is harsh and cutting as he turns away. From out of the corner of his eyes he can see her smile fall.
He walks over to the kitchen and pulls a bottle of rum from a cabinet, never mind the fact that itâs not even noon yet. He takes two long sips, and a third one, and then walks back to the couch.
Emma is staring at the papers in her hand. She doesnât look up and doesnât say a word, and that hurts, too, with a dull, aching pain he hasnât felt in forever.
Doesnât want to feel.
He almost walks back to the kitchen to get the bottle, but Elsa fixes him with a gaze that could have melted steel, and so he clears his throat instead.
 âIt doesnât matter,â he finally says, and heâs not sure himself to what he is referring. âAnyway, I never did figure out what the actual language was. I tried transcribing it phonetically, but couldnât place it at all, couldnât match it to anything Iâd studied or encountered, and I was still trying to consult with my colleagues when---â
He canât say it.
He canât think it.
He canât look at Elsa.
This time he does go to take another pull from the bottle on the kitchen counter. When he walks back, he keeps his eyes glued to the shag carpet.
 âThis new case, your case,â he vaguely motions in Emmaâs direction, âitâs different. I think this is a language I know. I think itâs related to Manx.â He rubs his eyes. âItâs not exactly the same, there are vital differences, but itâs close enough. Close enough that I think I can figure out---â
 He stops himself and finally looks up.
Emma is staring at him, wide-eyed. She looks almost shell shocked.
 âI can explain that later.â He tries to soften his voice. It comes out gruff instead. âBut I think that nobody has ever actually encountered either language.  Ever. Iâm not sure itâs--â
Emma blinks, and Elsa shifts in her seat.
God, he doesnât want to do this next part.
âLook, Emma.â He crouches down before her. âThis is all important information, but itâs not why weâre here.â
He looks at Elsa, who nods.
âWe want to tell you why youâre having these--- visions.â
âBecause Iâm going insane?â Emma bursts a short laugh, harsh and joyless. âBecause my whole life has become a fucking exhibit of the absurd? What with the dead languages and the dead bodies and the runes written in goddamn blood? Why wouldnât I have visions, too? I mean - isnât it high time I lost my mind?â
âNot at all.â Elsa leans forward and puts her hand on Emmaâs. âYou are not going crazy, that I promise you. The reason for all this, the reason youâre having visions is as simple as it is hard to believe.â
Emma looks up and Elsa nods.
âItâs magic, of course.â
-/-
The coffee at the station is bitter and thin and David wishes heâd thought to stop at Grannyâs along the way. Then he looks at Mary Margaretâs anxious face, at the way she is holding herself together, and is glad they came straight here to make an official report.
He waves at the pot. âIâd offer you a cup, but I think this qualifies as torture.â
The left corner of her mouth ticks up, like she appreciates his efforts, but it doesnât reach her eyes.
David pulls up the form for missing persons and Grahamâs records and inputs all the bits and pieces he already knows. Grahamâs middle name is Chase. Chase.
 When he gets to the part where Mary Margaretâs story arrives at the bridge, he stops and closes his eyes for a moment.
âSo,â he finally says, trying for calm. âTell me exactly what you mean by âhis tracks disappearedâ.â
She looks at him as if she wants to look exasperated but canât, because sheâs simply too scared.
âExactly what I said,â she grinds out. âThere are very clear tracks leading down to the bridge. In order to hunt that watering spot, you have to cross the bridge, go in a wide circle, and approach again from the rear. Unless you want to wade the river, and in November, you donât want to wade the river, even if you had waders. Especially not at night. And Graham didnât have waders. He hated fishing. He hated water.â
 David files this away for later, and doesnât interrupt. Mary Margaretâs eyes are fixed somewhere in the middle distance, and her hands are clutched together so tightly that her knuckles have turned white, but her voice is steady.
 âAnyway, this is part of the reason I was able to track him at all, seeing as heâs an excellent hunter who doesnât exactly trample a freeway through the woods---â she looks at him pointedly and he shrugs--- âand it was dark. But it was highly probable that he was headed for the bridge, and so I did the same. Itâs the only one in a 20-mile radius.â
 Her voice trails off and he waits. It takes Mary Margaret almost a minute to go on. When she does, her voice is low and apprehensive.
âI told you there were clear tracks down that hill, going to the bridge. Itâs true, there were. Are.â She stops, shakes her head. âThere are clear tracks. The reason they are clear, is that they were made by someone who no longer sought to avoid sign. Who was not being careful, didnât watch where he was going.â She takes a deep breath. âSomeone who was most likely running. Running very, very fast.â Â
Her gaze focuses on David. Her eyes are burning. âTheyâll tell you that you can tell running tracks from walking ones by indentation, which is mostly bullshit . There are so many factors - surface density and type of shoe, type of sole worn, and thatâs not even counting body type and individual movement. But---â another deep breath--- âGraham was running. Iâd bet my life on it. Thereâs almost no heel, itâs all toeprints right down to the bridge, and theyâre very far apart. I tried to match his stride and I was short nearly a foot.â
Her brows furrow. Â
âDonât say it. I know Iâm a lot shorter.â
 David nods. She doesnât look shorter at the moment. Â
 âSo anyway,â her voice drops down to low and careful again, and her eyes drift back to the wall. âI followed the tracks to the bridge, and then of course lost them, because itâs made of steel. But hereâs the thing. They do not pick up on the other side. I looked for an hour.â
The cold fear inside David starts to pool again in the pit of his stomach. Mary Margaret spent hours, hours , in those woods by herself.
In the dark.
Alone.
âThere was nothing. Then I went back and noticed that the tracks donât actually go all the way to the bridge. They stop a good ten feet before it. Much farther than Graham could have leapt, even when running for his life.â Her hands clench together even harder. âAnd he was running for his life. I know he was.â
 She falls silent, her eyes blank, her knuckles white.Â
David leans forward and gently puts his hand on top of hers.
She snaps back to the present and looks at him, her eyes still full of tears, but none of them fall.
âI know he was,â she whispers.
âI believe you,â he says. âItâs daylight now, so we can go to Grannyâs, get a cup of real coffee, and go back out there and you can show me everything.â
She nods, and the first few drops roll down her cheeks. She wipes them away angrily with her left hand. Her right stays in Davidâs. Itâs warm now.
âBut you have to promise me something,â he goes on, and waits until she looks at him. âPromise me you wonât go out by yourself again. Not anywhere near that bridge. Not at night.â
Her brow furrows.
â Promise me. Promise you wonât. I am not above locking you up. You can spend every night in this cell from now on if you donât.â
At that she laughs, actually laughs, and it sounds oh so lovely.
âOK Deputy,â she says. âI promise.â
âSwear,â he says. He canât help himself. The thought of her missing is--- he canât.
âI swear,â she says solemnly, with just a hint of a twinkle in her eyes. âI swear on your grandpa pajamas. Which were really cool by the way.â
And then she laughs out loud again.
He will never get tired of that sound. Even if he now has to go and buy all new sleepwear.
-/-
âYou canât be serious. There is no such thing as magic.â
 Emma makes a move to get up and he reaches for her wrist. Right before his hand touches her skin Emma yanks her arm out of reach, and Elsa leans forward.
âItâs OK,â she says as he looks at Emma, her eyes huge and apprehensive, and he just wants her to not be afraid of him.
âItâs OK,â Elsa repeats. âTell me what happens when you guys touch.â
 Emma clears her throat. Her hands are folded together, pulled back, against her chest. Itâs a study in defense. Pressed into the corner of his ancient couch, wearing Elsaâs borrowed clothes, she looks more fragile, less solid somehow. She also looks tired and suspicious and not a little angry, and he canât blame her. Itâs going to be a lot to take in.
And she probably wonât believe them anyway.
When she looks back up at him he tries to nod reassuringly, but heâs exhausted. Like he could sleep for the rest of his life and it would not be enough.
He sits down on the floor in front of her and doesnât go get his bottle of rum.
âItâs not always the same,â she finally says. âThe first few times there was this heartbeat that wasnât mine, fast and irregular. And this weird howling thatâs not human. And my vision kind of goes out, thereâs just blackness with red sparks.â
âYou never told me that!â It sounds much too accusatory. Emmaâs head snaps around, and she looks disconcerted, and he makes an effort to soften his tone. âSorry. Itâs just - you never told me it affected your perception.â
âItâs never very long.â She shrugs. Â
Elsaâs eyes narrow. âIs this what happened last night as well? All of it?â
Emma nods. âIt was really strong, too. Loud.â
âAnything else?â
Emma nods again. âItâs not always like that. I mean--- twice when I...â  Her voice trails off, and she looks at Killian. âTwice when we---â her hand waves in his general direction--- âit was just--- â
âLovely.â He just blurts it out, and Emma bites her lip. Â
âYeah.â Her voice is so low he can barely hear it. âSort of safe and warm and---â she shrugs-- âyeah. Lovely.â
She takes a deep breath, and Killian gets the distinct feeling sheâs about to say something important, but instead she exhales and shakes her head.
 Then her entire bearing changes. She sits up ramrod straight, shoulders pulled back, eyebrows pinched, and her voice turns to steel. âDonât tell me this is fucking magic.â Her voice is hard now. âThatâs not just crazy, thatâs impossible.â
 He looks at her. The stiff posture, the clenched jaw - but somehow she doesnât sound nearly as affronted as she should, given the topic at hand. She sounds like she thinks she should sound incredulous and doubtful and condescending. Â
 Elsa smiles, unruffled. âYou donât think magic exists?â
âOf course it doesnât exist.â
There it is again. Emmaâs voice, hitting every note in the required symphony of indignance, but---
âYou think thousands of years of oral and written history and hundreds of different kinds and types and practices, through every time period, every continent, every tribe and nation were all made up?â
He watches Emmaâs face turn thoughtful.
âYou think somehow everyone across time and space just came up with magic? By themselves? All of them?â
âLegends and fairy tales and superstitions sprang up across time and distance and tribes all over the globe, and are remarkably similar.â She looks hard at Elsa. âSo that argumentâs not going to fly and you know it.âÂ
Killian canât help it, he has to smile. Sheâs so smart, and just so--- Â
He canât find the right word, not even in the privacy of his own mind, and the smile hurts his cheeks.
âMagic is just something people needed to invent in order to explain the laws of physics. Or to hold on to something.â Emma looks at Elsa, her voice sharp, accusatory. âAnd Iâm positive it has nothing at all whatsoever to do with the fact that Iâm losing my mind and hearing heartbeats and seeing sparks and---â
 She cuts herself off abruptly. She turns and her eyes meet Killianâs, her expression unreadable. Her eyes grow soft and then narrow and become pure flint. She slumps only to straighten again, and then slump once more, and she looks in turns resigned, scornful, and crushed. There is a war waging inside her head, that much is clear, and he watches her eyes fill with tears twice, watches her wipe them in anger and frustration, watches her shudder and open her mouth several times only to close it again. Â
He wishes he knew what to say.
Wishes he could take her hand.
 Then Emma looks up. âThere are a million reasons why I should tell you both that youâre crazy. Why I should get up right now and leave and make sure I never see either one of you again.â Â
She bites her lip hard, and his hand is halfway to her mouth before he can stop himself and divert it to run through his hair.
âI should walk out of here right now.â Emmaâs voice is a whisper. âI should get a restraining order for the both of you.â She points at his wall, and he cringes. â Definitely for you, Killian.â
She closes her eyes. âExcept that----â
 Her voice drifts off and there is silence for a long, long moment.
Killian can hear his heart beat. Â
Wonders if Emma can hear it. Wonders if his is the heartbeat she keeps hearing.
Hoping it is.
 âHypothetically,â Emma finally says, opening her eyes to look at Elsa, âif it were magic - what made youâŠ.â She grimaces, starts again. âWhat--- how do you know whatâs happening to me? And why do you think itâs magic?â
 Elsaâs face twists and even though he knew this was coming, Killian feels a sharp stab of pain. It is the pain of memories unburied, and of having to watch Elsaâs face as she gets ready to answer.
Having to watch Emma start down the same path of ruin and destruction.
He just wants it all to be over.
 âIt happened to me,â Elsa says. Her voice is quiet and yet it cuts to the bone. âThe first time this thing ran around killing people, Liam brought copies of the notecards home to study, and I kept hearing a humming buzz. And then one day we met at the station and he showed me the originals. And I heard a howling voice and saw black with red sparks.â She shudders and Killian would have given anything in that moment to not have to listen.
To not have to be here.
To spare Elsa from having to relive it.
To spare Emma from whatâs coming her way.
He leans forward and takes Emmaâs hand, and she lets him. Warmth spreads in his chest, warmth and a feeling of calm, and it tethers him, doesnât let him fall into the abyss of despair where he lives most of his days. Heâs unspeakably grateful for it.
 âNo heartbeat though,â Elsaâs voice severs the calm. âThatâs new.â
Emma shivers and he squeezes her fingers until it stops. Her voice is a whisper. âWhy magic, though? How did you-- why do you think it was magic?â
âIt told me.â Elsaâs voice is low and infinitely sad. âWhen it came for my husband, it told me. The red sparks exploded and the howling turned into a voice and it told me to unleash my magic or it would take Liam.â Â
Tears start to roll down Elsaâs face, but she doesnât move.
Doesnât speak for minutes, just sits there, head bowed, tears dripping freely. Despair rolls off her in waves, and Killian is about to tell her to stop, to not finish the story, when she looks up again.
 âIt told me it needed my magic .â Elsaâs voice is a hiss now, angry. Furious . âI didnât know what it was talking about. You think howling heartbeats are hard to take? Try being spoken to by the voice in your head, and then have that voice tell you it needs your fucking magic. Your magic . Like I have magic.â
Elsa is nearly vibrating with rage, and Emma just sits there, spellbound.
âIt said it was here for my power. My power .â Elsa laughs. It sounds terrible. âBut whatever power, whatever magic it wanted, I couldnât----â
She sobs once, and then takes a deep breath.
âI didnât know,â she whispers. âI didnât know and I couldnât do what it asked, and then my husband died and my life----â
 Emmaâs phone rings, loud and hard and unforgiving, and she flinches hard. She pulls it out, but does not let go of Killianâs hand, squeezes his fingers to the point of pain.
She listens for a minute and finally says, âOK, weâll be there as soon as we can.âÂ
Then she puts her other hand on Elsaâs.
He can tell from the way they are looking at each other that neither one is hearing a thing other than the silent humming of the traffic outside.
 âI am so sorry.â Emma sounds utterly, heartbreakingly sincere. âSo sorry. And I want you to know, I believe you. I do.â
She shrugs and turns to Killian. There are tears in her eyes. âI donât know what to do with this information, but I believe you both.â Then she shakes her head and gets up. Killian feels the loss of her warm hand like the loss of a limb. Â
âI have to go back to Storybrooke,â she says, looking at his wall, at the result of hundreds of hours worth of obsessive investigation. âThereâs been another disappearance.â She turns back to him, her face blank. âKillian - are you coming back with me?â
if you live by the word, you die by the pen -- CH 6
SUMMARY: Â Itâs just another day with bad coffee, the day that Sheriff Swan enters Detective Jonesâ precinct.
The fact that his life is about to come apart at the seams is purely incidental.
With apologies to Dashiell Hammett and James Ellroy, iâm playing in their sandbox and iâm taking the bucket and the shovel. Â You guys can keep the rake.
.
|CH1| CH2 | CH3 | CH4 | CH5 |
AO3 (if you want decent formatting, because tumblr does not).
.
A/N: My lovely, wonderful people - it seems like all i do these days is apologize to you. Once again, i am sorry this took so long. Suffice it to say that i had a ridiculously low number of days off in recent weeks. Lots of recent weeks. SEVEN RECENT WEEKS. (Seven weeks with four days off.)
All thanks to The Keeper Of My Sanity @profdanglaisstuff, The Keeper Of My Thoughts @ohmightydevviepuu, The Keeper Of My Inner Mythical Creature @katie-dub, and The Maker Of The Art Which Inspired It All @captainsjedi.
And of course to all of you, ALL OF YOU, who have waited patiently and are still reading. Â
i love you so very, very much. â€â€â€
.
If you want on or off the tag list, let me know! Â (And seriously - if itâs âoffâ - please donât worry. Â Absolutely no hard feelings.)
 Killian looks at Emma like sheâs grown another head, but she just matches his stare and holds out her hand. She knows heâs exhausted, she knows, knows , he got no sleep in that spare bedroom of Elsaâs, and she has a lot to think about.
âKillian,â she repeats, âIâll drive. You can sleep.â When he just shakes his head she says, âYou need to sleep sometime.â
 âSheâs right.â Elsa gets up and puts on her coat, frowning at Killian, and Emma is grateful to have her support. The man before her strikes her as nothing if not stubborn, particularly in areas of basic human need. âItâs not a shortcoming.â Elsaâs voice hits the bullseye between empathy and sarcasm and Emma wishes she could wrangle tone like this woman. âItâs a condition you share with over 7 billion people. Now get over yourself.â
Killian smiles weakly and rolls his eyes before his brow furrows and he grows very serious.
âWill you be OK, Elsa? How are you getting home?â
âWe have a really good public transportation system. Which you know, because you live here.â
Killian scowls and Elsa glares right back at him. They stand off for several long moments before Elsa barks a laugh. Â
âStop fretting, LB,â she says. âIâll be perfectly fine.â She buttons her coat. âI always am, you know that.â
He sighs. âI do know.â
Â
Itâs the easy banter despite the dire circumstances that makes Emma realize just how close they must have been before---
Before.
âLB?â She asks. âIs that a nickname?â
Elsa turns to her, eyes somewhere in the middle distance. âItâs something Liam used to call him, and I guess I just ---â
âUsurped it.â Killian shrugs. âWoman has no respect for her elders.â
âWeâre the same age.â
âThen you just have no respect, period.â He turns to Emma, a self-deprecating grin on his face. âIt stands for Little Brother. I tried to get Liam to stop calling me that for two decades, but---â
His smile falls.
âSorry.â Emma doesnât know what to say. Talking to these two is like walking through a field of landmines. Â
âNo, donât be sorry,â Killianâs eyes are soft now, and his voice is low. âItâs--- itâs good to talk about Liam without constantly having to dredge up tragedy. Itâs nice. And he was a bit of a wanker.â
âHe was a colossal pain in the ass,â Elsa says, wiping her eyes. Â
Killian walks over to hug her and Elsa lets him. Â
âSuch a fucking pain in the ass,â she repeats, muffled by his sweater, and Emma looks at them, looks at him, looks at his face as his eyes search the room and finally land on her and stay in hers and donât look away.
 And she knows she has never ever been looked at like that.
 Then Elsa pulls back and breaks the moment. Â
âBe careful,â she says, eyes roaming from Killian to Emma and then back again.. âPromise me youâll be careful. Both of you.â
All Emma can do is nod, all Killian does next to her is nod, and then Elsa leaves.
Without another word.
 Emma stares at the door for a long time after sheâs gone.
 When she finally turns back, Killian is staring at the wall, eyes narrowed, lips a tight line.
âWeâll have to take some of this stuff with us,â he says, motioning at the clippings and the boxes below. âWill you help me take it down?â
He turns to her with his sharp gaze and exhaustion written in every line on his face and Emma just blurts out, âIâm sorry.â
His brow furrows. âWhatever for?â
âI was so mean to you.â Â
His brow furrows even more. âMean to me? You were never mean to me. As I recall it was I who wouldnât give you the time of day in the begin---â
âIn my head.â Emmaâs voice has stopped working and she has to clear her throat. âI thought you were-- in the beginning, I thought you were---â She tries to take a deep breath. And canât. âAnd then, even after you showed up, and then in Elsaâs house, and all the pictures, and the---â
A sob catches her completely by surprise, but she fights it down with iron resolve.
âI thought you were----Â I thought you were---â
Her throat is tight and hard now, and itâs hard to swallow and impossible to go on.Â
 Killian walks over to her, slowly, stops only a few inches away. She can feel his closeness like a current.
âYou werenât wrong. You arenât wrong. I am all those things.â
The sob comes back with might and she cannot stop it. Tears spring to her eyes. She canât breathe right.
He lifts her chin, forces her to look at him.
His eyes are warm, and soft, and god, so tired.
âEmma.â He says. Just that. Nothing else.
âIâm so sorry.â Itâs not even a whisper. Itâs a mouthing of words.
His thumb very slowly rubs her jawbone. âDonât be. You have nothing to be sorry for.â
 If he hugs her now, sheâs sure sheâll break.
 He doesnât. Just cups her cheek and then lets go, mercifully turns back to his boxes and the wall.
âLetâs get this packed up, shall we?â he says quietly, and Emma puts a hand on his arm.
âThank you,â she whispers, even though she doesnât know exactly what for. Â
 The thing about being understood is that it will throw your whole world off-kilter the first time it happens.
If it ever does.
 He covers her hand with his and the connection goes live in a flash of warmth and something else, something bigger, something greater than the sum of their parts, and everything is SafeBlissRelief for an eternal moment until they both withdraw their hands.
Their eyes stay locked.
âDid you feel that?â he whispers.
Emma nods, and then blinks and breaks the spell. She canât . Itâs not just emotional overload. It feels like she physically cannot uphold this connection, like her muscles and tendons will snap like overextended rubber bands and her neurons will simply stop firing if she spends one more moment inside it.
 âWe have to get going,â she rasps, and grabs the first box in front of her.  After a few moments of tense, silent packing, she adds, âIâll drive.â Â
She straightens up and looks back at him, thumbtack in one hand, a newspaper clipping in the other. Â
âYou need sleep.â She says firmly. âPromise to try and get some rest on the way?â
He hands her the keys.
 .
He falls asleep almost as soon as they hit I-95 -- just slumps down in his seat, face smushed into the folds of her standard-issue bomber jacket pressed up against the side window, and his breaths become long and even. She pushes down on the accelerator, flies past all the people going 65 on the dot once they see her cruiser, and tries not to notice just how much younger, how much more vulnerable he looks.
She remembers his face back at his apartment when he started to talk about the languages, the way his eyes shone and his features became animated, and she wishes that that person hadnât been leeched from him by trauma and tragedy until nothing but the shell remained.
He deserves to be that person.
Nothing about this is fair.
 She lets her thoughts circle the drain of the hard, cold facts of her present case, and his previous case, and Killianâs demise, so she wonât have to think about the huge, pink, sparkly elephant in the room, holding the magic wand.
Because sheâs absolutely not going to think about that.
At all.
EVER.
.
-/-
.
âEmmaâs on her way. Sheâs bringing the Boston detective back, too.â
âSheâs bringing a detective? From out of state? Why?â
David shrugs and tries for nonchalance. âSeems he had a similar case a few years back and has some useful information.â
Mary Margaret laughs out loud and pats his arm.
âWow. Do you ever not have a poker face, Deputy.â
 Sheâs laughing at him. Sheâs laughing at him, but her cheeks are rosy and her eyes shine, and he canât be mad at her.
Especially since she happens to be right.
 âAdmit it. This is bugging the crap out of you.â She quirks a sardonic eyebrow. âBig-city detective on your turf, taking up all of Emmaâs attention.â
David starts to nod and only then realizes what Mary Margaret is saying.  Â
âNo!â It comes out much louder than anticipated. âI donât care that he takes up Emmaâs time.â Â
She laughs again. âDeputy Nolan, itâs OK. You can be a little pissed off that people are infringing on your territory.â
â Youâre not infringing,â he mumbles, and then wants to slap his forehead. He has absolutely no game, it turns out. None whatsoever.
She pats his arm again. âLetâs go to Grannyâs, OK? Iâll buy you breakfast.â
David looks up and god, itâs just so wonderful the way she smiles at him.
The way her eyes sparkle.
âDonât you have to teach today?â he asks, and immediately wants to kick himself. Heâs literally handing her an excuse to back out of spending time with him. After she suggested it . Oh, if self-sabotage were an Olympic sport. Â
âItâs fall break,â she says, and he sighs with relief.
âIn that case, I would love some real coffee.â He locks the computer screen and gets up. âBut you donât have to buy me breakfast.â
That gets him a very stern look.Â
âDeputy, when I come pounding on your door at five in the morning, the least I can do is buy you waffles.â
He can feel another searing hot blush spread hard and fast. âHow did you know---â
âIâve seen you around. Itâs interesting how you and I have such similar schedules.â
 Surely the current blush has burned off his face by now.
Surely.
 âAnd you donât always eat, but when you do, you have waffles.â
The grin she gives him is the biggest and most brilliant and most mortifying thing heâs ever been subjected to.
âAh, well---â
âSo come on, Deputy. Let me buy you some damn breakfast. Itâll be fun, even if we talk about nothing other than your case.â
Yep. His face is clearly melting.
But he pulls himself together.Â
âFine,â he concedes, and if possible, Mary Maragretâs grin becomes even wider. âBut on one condition.â
âI already told you Iâm payin---â
âYou call me David. Just David.â
Oh, her laugh is just his very favorite sound on the planet.
âOK,â she says. âDavid it is. Letâs go.â
.
-/-
.
Killian sleeps all the way to the station. When Emma pulls into the parking lot behind the building, it takes her a few moments to bring herself to gently shake his shoulder.
But then she does.
 He bolts upright with a strangled scream and looks at her in absolute panic . She tries to reassure him with soft words, calm words, but his body twists like a tightly-coiled spring and itâs obvious he doesnât hear her at all, his breathing hard, his eyes darting everywhere.
Emma bites her lip, hopes for the best - and touches his hand.
Warmth immediately floods into her and he relaxes.
His breathing slows, his eyes focus.
âEmma,â he says, and she nods. âAre we here?â
She nods again. She wants to ask why he was so afraid, but she knows itâs not the time.
 There are so many things she wants to ask him.
But the time might not be ever.
 She lets go of his hand instead. The warmth dissipates, and reality settles back in. Â
âReady? I think Davidâs waiting for us with a witness statement.â
He nods and starts to undo his seatbelt.
âSee?â He says, not looking at her. âYou were right. I am all those things you thought.â
And before she can answer, he gets out of the car.
 .
âSo what do you think?â Â
Emmaâs face is a picture of worry as Killian puts down the report.
âThis is the witness statement you took?â He turns to David, who nods.
âMary Marg--- Ms Blanchard came to see me early this morning.â
Emma leans across to look at the document, and Killian can feel her nearness like a current, before she leans back and her brow furrows. âThis says 5:23 AM. You were at the station at 5 AM?â
âNo. Uh---â Killian watches Davidâs Adam's apple do a nervous dance. âShe came to my house.â
âShe came to your house? â
 Killian nearly laughs at the indignation in Emmaâs voice. Itâs all thou shalt not play with my chew toys . Meanwhile David blushes fire engine red again, and Killian feels for the Deputy. It must be awful to navigate life with that kind of tell.
 âLook, itâs a small town. Where I live is not exactly top secret,â David says, and it sounds a little annoyed. âI called her yesterday to read the crime scene at the bridge. Sheâs a really good tracker.â He clears his throat, drops back into professional demeanor. âIt was after the scene was cleared. I thought she could help. And she did find lots of useful information. Itâs all in my write-up, but I think itâs better if I just show you later.â
 There is more to this story, Killian can tell, and it has nothing to do with the crush the deputy quite obviously has on the teacher. There is more to the case .
 David is a good police officer, that much is clear. Thorough, detail-oriented, meticulous - his report is impeccable. His observations are keen and judicious, yet steer clear of excessive conjecture. His deductions are logical, and more importantly, rational. And he seems to be just the right amount of jaded - enough to not be gullible, not so much as to be indifferent.
Killian himself has never been like that, not as a police officer.
He went in broken. This has not changed.
 He hands the report back to Emma. âIt doesnât look good.â Â
 He wishes he could say something else. But the truth is, Graham Humbert is most likely going to be found soon, dressed in a blood-smeared linen gown, symbols carved on his back, and holding a quill between his frozen fingers.
 He looks at David. âYou didnât find any notecards?â
David shakes his head. âNot even at the cabin. We went there on a hunch, and--- nothing.â
âHow many days between finding your last victim and Grahamâs disappearance?âÂ
There is a ball of frozen fear at the pit of Killianâs stomach. Itâs making him nauseous.
â40 hours,â David says. âGive or take.â
âWhen you found--- wait.â Killian looks at Emma. âHow did you find--- what was the victimâs name again?â
âLeroy,â Emma says slowly. âAnd I didnât find him. David called me.â
They both look at David, who has turned very pale.
âGraham called me,â he whispers. âHe came upon the body while he was out hunting.â
 Silence descends, heavy and suffocating.
Somewhere in the distance, the clock strikes three.
.
-/-
.
142 miles west of Storybrooke, a tall man with unkempt brown hair and haunted grey eyes stumbles out of a rest stop mini mart and slams a can of beer. He reaches into his backpack and opens another before he looks up at Route 2 stretching before him.
There are only two directions here - the one he came from, and the one heâs going in. He looks at the road for a long time, slowly sipping his beer. Itâs Monday afternoon, and there arenât many cars.
Finally he throws away the second can, crosses the road, and starts to hold out his thumb.
 .Â
247 miles south a blond man wearing scrubs and a white coat puts his phone back in his pocket and walks over to the nurseâs station.
âI have to leave,â he says. âItâs an emergency. Who can cover for me? Iâm done with rounds.â
The nurse looks at him and asks if heâs all right.
Heâs definitely not all right.
But heâs not telling her that.
.
And somewhere outside earthâs time and space, a pair of eyes opens and a head perks up.
And then something howls .
.
-/-
.
âAre you up for this?â
 Killian puts the cruiser in park and looks at Emma.
Emma bristles. âIâm the Sheriff. This is my crime scene. Of course Iâm up for it.â
He wishes she sounded less like she was convincing herself.
This is stressful for her, he can feel it.
But he has to see the crime scenes, all of them, in order to get the full picture, and this is where it all began.
Leroyâs last known location.
 The cabin is empty and sparsely furnished - just a cot in one corner, a wood-burning stove, and a few rickety chairs. Itâs clean and orderly.
The cabin in the crime scene photos heâs holding is a mess of empty food wrappers and drained vodka bottles and yellow caution tape. Â
âI had to mark the scene somehow,â Emma says, and cringes, as if sheâs embarrassed. âAnd I donât exactly have Boston PD resources.â
âThis is exceptional work,â he pats her briefly on the shoulder. âOur techs would be hard pressed to do better.â
She laughs like she doesnât believe him, but wants to.
And it is exceptional work. He looks at the photos in his hand, professional and competent, cataloguing all evidence. Â
 Emma points to the bottles and the plastic wrappers in the pictures. Â
âI finger-printed everything. Every scrap I could get my hands on. And I luma-lighted the entire cabin that night.âÂ
She points to another set of pictures, marking innocuous-looking spots in daylight, and their blacklight counterparts, which look like Jackson Pollock paintings.
She shrugs. âIâm guessing people come here to ârelax and unwindâ quite a bit,â she says, miming air quotes. âAnd it is a hunting cabin. Blood residue is not uncommon, and in fact - most of this is blood, not semen. Animal blood mostly, very little human. We tested most of it. The human blood must be from superficial cuts. Leroy was definitely not killed here.â
She shakes her head. âSorry, conjecture. We donât know cause of death, yet. He was not---â
Her voice trails off, and Killian looks at her, pale and tense and biting her lip.
âMarked,â he says gently. âHe wasnât marked here. And youâre right. He was not.â
He looks back at the photos. âThe cards? Were right around here?â
He points at a spot in the middle of the cabin, and she nods.
Even paler now.
 âEmma?â
He doesnât like the expression on her face, doesnât like how far away she looks. He takes a step closer.
âEmma?â He repeats. âAre you all right?â
Her head turns to him in slow motion. Her eyes are blank .
The cold ball of raw fear in the pit of his stomach expands rapidly outwards, shoots terror through his veins.
âKillian,â she whispers, but she says it as if she doesnât know what the word means. âKillian, there is---â
Her voice cuts out abruptly, and she tilts her head as if sheâs listening to something.
Listening for something.
 He takes one more step towards her and reaches out to take her hand, and---
It feels as if heâs the ground for a live wire, like a current running through him, running through them both, connected as they are by touch, and it feels like power,Â
pulsating
beating
alive .
 He canât move, couldnât if he tried; canât let go of her hand, and doesnât want to.
 âKillian,â she says again, but he can hardly hear it through the ringing in his ears, âKillian, there is something here .â
Itâs the last word that gets him, because he can feel it, the presence of something , and it galvanizes him into action, into motion---Â
and he picks her up, simply picks Emma up off the floor, crime scene photos still in his hand; crosses the cabin in four long strides and stumbles out the door and down the steps and to the car.
He leans against it, breathing hard.
âKillian.â
The voice slowly filters back into his consciousness.
âPlease?â
He shakes his head. Slowly opens his eyes.
Sees Emmaâs face, her eyes enormous, and so very close.
âLet me down, Killian. Please.â
He becomes aware that she is still in his iron grip, and he lets go so fast she nearly falls.
Nearly.
 âWhat was that?â He doesnât want to know. But he has to know. âIs this--- is that what youâve been--- all this time?â
She shakes her head, her eyes still large and anxious.Â
âNot at all,â she says. âThis is something completely new.â She shudders, and then looks up. âWait. Wait a minute. Did--- did you say you felt this? You felt it, too?â
 Heâs so helpless in the face of all these things he doesnât understand.
Helpless, and afraid.
âI donât--- I donât know if it was the same thing. It felt like--- power. Like a current.â
She nods. âThere was, there was a hum at first, you know? Kind of like a freeway. Busy, far away. I was trying to listen, and couldnât quite place it. But I had the distinct feeling it was trying to tell me something. And then---â
She looks down at her empty palms.
âAnd then you took my hand,â she says. âAnd it became this flood of energy.â
 She balls her hands into fists and looks up again, straight at him.
 âFuck.â Her eyes are burning. â Fuck .â
She shrugs. It looks helpless. Â
âI wasnât going to believe Elsa, you know. I mean---â her brows knit together, âI believe that she believed it. I wasnât sure about you, but I was sure that you were supporting her no matter what. But this---â
She looks up at the sky. There are tears in her eyes, but they do not fall.
âThere was something there. I felt it.â Her lip trembles and she bites down hard on it before she continues. âI felt it. All of it. And so did you. Fuck! â
She shakes her head. Â
âNow weâre going to have to have a conversation about magic.â She rolls her eyes. âAbout magic . Arenât we.â
 He wraps his hands around her fists and pulls them up to his own racing heart. There is nothing but warmth now, no current, no sound.
âWe are,â he says. âWe need to talk about that. But Emma--â he waits for her to look at him again.
She finally does, tears still in her eyes.
âIt is going to be all right. I promised you that I wouldnât let anything happen to you. And I wonât.â
 He canât make that promise, and he knows it.
But he will die trying, if need be.
This time he will keep that promise.
.
-/-
.
Emma says nothing the whole way back to town, canât bring herself to speak at all. Silence is keeping her numb, and numbness is what she desperately needs. She focuses her eyes squarely on a spot of nothing past the windshield and ignores every one of Killianâs hesitant looks.
When he pulls up at Grannyâs instead of the station, she doesnât notice until heâs put the car in park and switched off the engine.
 âWhat are we doing here?â Her voice sounds rusty and broken. She doesnât care.
Killianâs voice is soft as he answers. âI thought we could go up to my room and talk. Away from prying eyes and phone calls and interruptions. And also, because that way you can just leave any time you want.â
 Itâs so tactful and thoughtful and right, this plan, that she shudders. Rage bubbles up to the surface, starts to burn through her veins, because how fucking dare he be this considerate, and she has to take several deep breaths to get herself back under control.
He pulls out a flask and takes a sip, and it goes a long way towards restoring her equilibrium, because this Killian she knows. He hands her the flask and the rum burns hotter than the rage did, and settles her more. She can handle this.
 âItâs OK to be afraid, you know,â he whispers as he screws on the top, not looking at her, and suddenly sheâs angry again. He should not be this understanding.
He should not be reading her like a goddamn book.
She takes another deep breath and exits the car before she says something she wonât be able to take back later.
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Upstairs in the room sheâs almost back to numbness. Itâs nice. It would be nicer if he wouldnât keep looking at her with those worried eyes.
They are not conducive to apathy.
He steers her towards the only chair and takes her jacket before she sits down, and then crouches before her.
âEmma,â he says. âAre you sure youâre---â
She snatches the flask from his hand in an effort to cut him off, and their fingers.
Touch .
They are on the rooftop again.
A flat, barren, level rooftop, with the wind howling around them and a clear view of the clock tower in the distance. Â
The clock tower is new.
Theyâre in Storybrooke .
 Emma wants to shudder, but she canât, because his arms are around her, and heâs warm and solid and so very real.
âHey,â he says, and leans forward, his nose brushing hers. His forehead against hers. âDonât be afraid. Iâm here.â
âWhat if I canât do it?â she whispers, because she feels empty, empty and useless, and he shouldnât have so much faith in her. He shouldnât have any faith in her.
âYou can do it love,â he says. âI know you can.â
 Lightning cracks like an explosion, a living release of unspeakable force, and he is ripped from her,Â
ripped from her---
and she knows how this ends
With a scream she comes back to herself and itâs a room at Grannyâs sheâs in, his room at Grannyâs, with its fucking flowered wallpaper and the meticulously made bed and the warm light from the tasteful sconces, and how can everything be so normal when sheâs going insane?
 She can feel his hand on hers, warm and sure, and thereâs no howling at all as he pulls her up without saying a word, pulls her up and wraps his arms around her and she cries .
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Thank you again, all of you, for reading, for being awesome, and for your infinite patience. â€â€â€