#despairborne

“Do you worst, Bitch. You may have gotten to my classmates, but I’m not as malleable as them!”

How completely pitiful, all the people he’d called friends falling into the despair with such little resistance. As such, this woman thought it was going to be exactly the same for him. But he had insight, he’d never liked her from the start, he could smell the despair on her. Even being near her made him want to vomit, how could someone so utterly disgusting have been hiding at Hope’s Peak.

He gave little resistance as the other despair sister strapped him into a chair. Two tight leather straps around his legs, and a very firm strap around his chest. Not that he minded, He’d show Junko that this bullshit didn’t work on him, and then she’d kill him. He had no problem with that, it’d be doing the world a favor, and he’d much rather die then give into despair.

When the girl stepped away from him, he assumed it was time to take a peek at this despairing footage. He faced forward, and wait for the monitors all around him to boot up the video. At first it was a bunch of static, and then a black and white bear popped on the screen. Nonsense Nagito assumed, making him ignore the bear and await the video to pop up.

4… 3… 2… 1…

After a while, involuntary tears started to drip down his face, and his eyes could only be described as insane. Rightfully so, Nagito had talked big, but this brainwashing was something else entirely. With only his spite keeping him on the verge of hope and despair. He didn’t know how much longer he could handle this torture, but he’d withstand it for as long as possible.

It was hard though, when all your worst fears, insecurities, and bad thoughts all attacked you. Everything you bury deep down, the things you smile off, but they come back far more powerful. Everything inside him told Nagito he was already despair, that he should stop resisting. Luckily for Nagito, he’d come to peace with the fact that he was utter trash so long ago. So even though his thoughts attacked him, he could still hold onto his ‘hope’ with no problem.

“So this is what you used to brainwash my class? How pitiful! If this is all despair has to give, then you’ve already lost the battle.”

He was practically yelling now, not even bothering to turn to the two girls watching him. 

“AahahahahahaAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA-”

“Does it please you to pretend we are on the same level?”

The thought of her being the best humanity had to offer was sickening. Enoshima was the weakness of humanity given form. Despite that, she was still just as human as the rest, seeking her own form of pleasure through despair. A junkie looking for her next fix. That being said, she was not unbearable. It was refreshing how she offered no protest to the charge of her malevolence. She ascribed no greater meaning to her actions. Very un-human.

Despite all that she had done, he didn’t truly hate her. 

He was indeed extraordinary. In an effort to create the perfect human, the fools of Hopes Peak had extracted the very things that made him human. A deadly mistake. He didn’t think of himself as a monster, but to most normal humans he may as well be.

“You are extraordinary because you have exceeded my expectations. That is all.”

He paused for a moment, staring directly at the self-made monster before him. It was strange to him how she insisted upon keeping him close. He had a theory as to why, but honesty was not an inherent trait for most humans. Then again, Junko was extraordinary. 

hi this hurts me so bad

  despairborne  Who wants a...

Yep. She would want him to graduate too. I mean, he won? That means she gets everyone’s bodies.

  Who wants a verse where Gundham wins the Fourth...

Hey… this rocks

Ah yes. A Junk wanting the bad end.

“You’ve got that wrong. It’s what you are. ”

For someone who claimed to hate him so much, Junko sure did like talking to him. He hated to admit that the feeling was mutual. When Junko was around he didn’t feel so much like worthless trash. He felt like he had a purpose. The simple purpose of defeating her. In his head, he knew that the reason she talked to him was that he filled her with despair, but he convinced himself it was because she believed in him. She knew he would stop her and she secretly wanted him to.

He was her hope. The world’s hope. That was all he ever wanted. How could he be despair? 

“Hope doesn’t spring from nothing. Anguish fuels people’s hope. Gives them the motivation to act. That’s all I- We’re doing.”

He grabs her hand, squeezing it firmly. She’s so disgusting, and yet there’s nowhere he’d rather be. Before Junko he was just another talentless nobody, and now he could finally be a stepping stone for hope. Someday somebody would finally stand up to them. Humanity would find hope again and snuff them out. If he could contribute to that… He’d happily spread despair. 

Despair for Hope’s sake.

“Despair can never win. If we’re despair, then I won’t try to escape. I’ll fight back against it. Against us.”

@despairborne |  Human Banalities (Accepting)

“Why must everyone demand an explanation from me?”

The truth is that the answer was elusive even to him. Why aid Despair? He had no love for Enoshima, and he felt no despair of his own. He didn’t seek despair or hope for that matter. Perhaps the only true answer to a question of motivation was ‘nothing.’ He felt no drive to complete any goal. He felt no pleasure for succeeding, and no pain upon failure. He had no capacity to better himself in any way; he was already the best of mankind. He acted without reason, and yet without feeling.

But maybe his role in Junko’s plan was due to pragmatism. He knew that humanity would fall at some point so he aided in its decline in the name of efficiency. Why struggle against an inevitable end? Better to be an agent of that end than to fight a dull war of attrition. He knew that the collapse would come, and so he fought for the winning side.

On some level, Kamukura did have a sort of motivation. He had already come to the conclusion that mankind was doomed, and hope was beyond them. Maybe what he wanted was to see his conclusion proven wrong. To see Man stand up and deny despair. He wanted them to win. And yet… They failed. They fell to their knees before the Ultimate Despair again and again. Some of them even revel in despair. They squirmed in the dirt like worms and begged for more and more despair. 

It was disgusting. He couldn’t help but hate them for it.