@derangedr continued from x
oh he should be angry , livid . he's spent lifetimes with his privacy poked through , dragged through the mud . not even his his scars are his own and now he can't hold onto the little bit of his previous life that he can remember . it's all been dragged into the open without his knowledge , without his will , without his consent . and he should be hurt ... upset ... hateful .
and perhaps he is . but , more than that , he's impressed . though he doesn't want her to know that . he masks the impressed with bared fangs and pinched brow because he's hurt . he knows how difficult it is to find anything about him ... he's tried . so he's sure whatever she knows isn't much but it's the thought of her trying that tears a hole in his chest .
⸻ { { DECEPTION CHECK ** 23 ( 15 + 8 MODIFIER ) } }
his mask of anger slips easily over his features , nose curling with his snarl as he glares at her . " same as everyone else ? same as everyone else ? i've never heard such a fucking lie in my life . if you had truly been checking on everyone , you would have known well in advance that our friend wyll was a duke's boy . but no ... you seemed just as shocked as the rest of us peasants . what the hell makes me so special ? hmmm ? "
the more he speaks , the more visceral his words become . the mask becomes part of him . it becomes something that he can't pull away , something true . what had he done to pique interest enough that he had to be spied on ? that he had to be looked into . had he not proven that he could be trusted ? had he not shown them all that he had their backs ? clearly he'd stepped wrong , had done something to make at least one of them believe he couldn't be trusted . and he knows he shouldn't blame them . his past would show that he shouldn't be , that he can't be . but none of that had been his choice , his fault . it hadn't been him .
but this ? now ? this is him . this is his life , his freedom . he has his own mind , his own choices to make . there's no devil on his shoulder to whisper demands . no one to force his hand . this should be a clean slate . the past two hundred years shouldn't matter . it isn't fair . it isn't right . he's gone into this companionship just as blind as he believed everyone else to be . he'd pulled no strings , sent no metaphorical ravens . why should he be the one to suffer his privacy shattered ?
⸻ { { INSIGHT CHECK ** 17 ( 16 + 1 MODIFIER ) } }
she's shaken . he can't be sure why , but there's something about her words that tips him off . it takes everything in him to not swing at her . but he knows if he does , it's just more reason to distrust him , to question him , to continue looking into him . but he knows how little there is on him . his records had been washed before he'd crawled from the grave . nothing but a footnote in baldur's gate history . a scribble that didn't matter . a signature on a desk of court cases .
he frowns , snarl in his throat . " perhaps i haven't done a damn bit of digging because i'm much more focused on the present ... these damned parasites devouring our brains . because the past doesn't matter in this moment . don't you see that ? you could have murdered an entire enclave of clerics for all i know . but it seemed to me that , perhaps , it wouldn't have mattered because we needed to focus on dealing with our collective problem so that you don't sprout tentacles should you , hypothetically , decide to murder a congregation . "
