My brother has an ego that is as big as the empire state building, thinks of himself as the master.

My boyfriend's ego is not as big but his actions are selfish lot of the time.

The relationship between my brother and my boyfriend is not good anymore. When my boyfriend and I got together years ago my brother and boyfriend liked each other.

Over the years my brother and boyfriend got into more fights - my brother didn't like how my boyfriend treated me, didn't like that my boyfriend didn't keep promises to me or him, ...

My boyfriend thought (and thinks) that my brother doesn't have a say in his life, which may be true but makes it harder for me. He deflects, he ignores... And my brother can be a good man but not when he has the feeling of being ignored or not taking seriously.

Not one of them is thinks about my feelings when the relationship between them is strange.

My brother talks bad about my boyfriend, talks him down, makes stupid jokes.

My boyfriend tells me that he doesn't take my brother seriously but his actions.. he shows it. My brother sees it.

And I am always, always, always in the middle of the fight.

I am so very tired and if the day comes that one of them makes me choose... I'll walk away. Alone.

I ain't gonna break further because they are both selfish in their own ways. I am depressed and I. Want. To. Live. Not break because two men would not think about how that all affects me.

The pain and the fights never seemed to end

Every night wondering if we're even friends

Now it's time to put this love out of it's misery

'Cause It's been dying for too long

Dying for too long

i'm only happy when i'm not thinking about it.

But i am the same once i remember.

Need to move on.

I remember those times, when i liked someone, i would always write about them with a smile in my face, write poetic shit about their lips and how i would think that their mind was the prettiest. 

They would always make me giddy and nervous and happy even if i couldn’t tell them my feelings.

Even when i told them.

i liked them for two years.

then i didn’t like them anymore.