SĪICŅŠ£ DIŠÆĪŠ£ MĪSSŠ£ ĪHIŠG Itās tricky attempting to talk about depression in a matter-of-fact way. Oneās own depression that is. Especially with people who donāt understand it. Phrases like, āI feel depressedā or, āit was so depressingā get thrown around willy-nilly. The experience of true depression is lost in colloquialisms. The reality of it drowns in the notion that depression is feeling sad and, you know, everyone feels that way sometimes. Not true. But how do you express the way depression dances you into the ground? Youāre grapes between heavy toes of its stomping feet. How do you demonstrate the obsessive and stubborn self-deprecating thoughts that swirl and swirl and swirl and tie you down from idiosyncrasies, from the basic regularities of living? I donāt think about my depression or how itās affected me as much these days but the thoughts and memories inevitably surface. Except now, instead of wallowing, I recall the experience of depression as something Iāve worked at shedding. I think of it and smile to myself because of how I live now. That I live in the world ā present tense. But Iām a realist. I know it wonāt completely go away. It comes and it goes. Depression visits regularly. But I donāt let it swallow me and spit me out into the world. Iāve learned to stand my ground. Shut it down. Tell it to fuck off. Let it run its mouth. It tries to convince me that I canāt accomplish my aspirations. That overcoming my fears is hopeless and foolish. I let it sit on my shoulder and scream in my ear. I can hear it. But I donāt listen. It lies and lies. It isnāt looking out for me. Depression doesnāt take care of you. It isnāt comforting. Or honest. Depression isnāt part of who you are. It isnāt you. Itās a thing. A sticky messy dirty thing. (Journal entry, 2013) ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ #depressionart #mentalhealthartists #mentalhealthartistadvocate #mentalheathart #depressionartwork #depressionwriter #mentalhealthwriter #depressionaesthetic #urbanart #cityart #theblackcloud #depressionwarrior #digitalcollageartist #digitalcollages #photomanipulator #photomanipulationart #seattlecreative #pnwwriter #filipinaartist #tumblrartist #depressionrecovery (at Mental Health Awareness) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTf8aXCJCGi/?utm_medium=tumblr
