I can feel your teeth trying to lightly nibble on the edges of my cranium; the nerves firing as it shoots red hot fire bolts of electricity through my mind., and trying to drive my anxiety to a spiral.

I know you're trying to point out to me that I'm just not important. That I just don't matter. You're wanting me to give up, fall back, and allow you to possess me again to the point where I will just lay down and die internally to the chaos you've bestowed on my life?  

You've told me that no one would want a Christmas card from you... but when I woke up this morning? I had 3 people DM me their addresses. One of them? Was someone who was very nervous and paranoid about giving it out.  

Does he have a right? Of course, who wouldn't. But the fact that he entrusted me with an address to let me send a simple Christmas card from the Pub that we're thankful he's there? Works out for me.

…but the most important 'Fuck you' of all in your direction? Is the fact you were putting thoughts in my head about him.  

You told me he's too busy for me?  No shit... he was working a double. You said that I made him uncomfortable which is why he didn't message me normally? he was running late for work. 

So nice try... and you said he didn't have the audacity to let me know when he was back? He didn't get home until 1am and you see this?  *holds up the phone to no one in particular* 

… he sent that just as we fell asleep. Telling me he was home safe.  You're trying to tell me he didn't care to send me anything?  I know deep down if he was working this morning? He was running late from not getting enough sleep and if I'm patient enough... he'll reach out when he wants to.

Oh, and you manipulating and influencing the asshole to come in and start blaming me for taking the mail keys out of his van when I have not touched it since that one night? You can just go fuck off right now.

I'm not going to listen to anything youre trying to eat and rot away into my brain if I can help it today... so you? Can go kindly take a long walk off a short pier.