I’m gonna do a short lil ramble here about personal feelings and therapy if you’ll allow me, scroll past freely if you'd like, if not read on: I have spent my entire life not just believing, but knowing, full-stop, that I have no value. If something bad happens to me, it’s deserved. I’ve struggled with depression and self-injury for going on 15 years now. I always come back because as long as I don’t hurt someone ELSE.. And like, I’ve been in therapy for a year and a bit now, but I still struggle with that. I’m able to discount any success, any joy, in a snap. And this week, out loud, I said “I don’t want to feel like I deserve to hate myself and be unhappy anymore” and it just felt, big. To me. I don’t get as personal about this stuff on here anymore but I dunno. Reading it always helps me. I’m right there in it too, getting by. I’ve accomplished so much and worked really hard to be a good person, a better person. I want to like that person, too. Even a little bit. Anyway. A messy ramble from an overtired writer with a scrambled brain. But thanks for being here with and for me, pals. I mean that <3.
