I feel like talking about my gender idk why but it's my blog so fuck it we ball.
I'm afab and identify as a woman, but I don't entirely feel cis. Or rather, I feel that saying I'm cis isn't entirely accurate. I've said before I identify as Deogirl, meaning I'm a woman who feels alignment with masculine energies because of my spirituality. It took the trauma of my oldest child's birth and the recovery to bring Goddess energy more prominently and securely into my life and practice.
I wrestle with the question of whether I would count as under the trans/enby umbrella. I don't experience dysphoria. I don't have the desire to change my gender or presentation, other than sometimes wishing I had a physical dick for adult fun time purposes (I feel I have a phantom dick but).
I struggled for a long time too, accepting that the Queer label applied to me bc my brain insisted I was "just bi," and imposter syndrome (and maybe internalized biphobia?) didn't let me believe that was enough. Anyone else with only one letter from the Alphabet Soup ofc was fine. Just not me. It has felt really liberating overcoming that and happily proclaiming that I am indeed Queer and even if I was "just bi," I belong in the community. I find myself wondering if this is the same.
If you have thoughts and want to chat, please comment or reblog or send an ask or a DM, I'm open to discussion. I'm 42 years old and still figuring myself out. Never stop learning, even about yourself. Especially about yourself.
