#denfin

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The faint sunlight pooled around her desk, highlighting her messy set of papers, some pens, sharp pencils and a sketching book she had taken with her that day. In case of boredom or a dose of inspiration.

She rubs a messy sketch and sighs deeply, narrowing eyes set on the paper just itching to be filled below her eraser. It’s not that Natalya was often moody- somewhat antisocial? Yes that was certainly- but she hadn’t planned to come here at all.

Of course she would never choose to leave her homely and a cozy abode; her hotel room, in the name of inspiration or motivation for that matter.

It was her elder sister, Kateryna, who had dragged her out of her room, when she had tried to reason with using her sketching sessions as an excuse and also a valid reason, all she got was a stern stare with a slight pout,

“Well you would definitely get more motivated in the lounging room~, staying all cooped up would do you no good! Maybe you could meet another artist”,

After that, she had gotten a lecture about how having picked up painting as a hobby during her long years; the great outdoors and mingling with people, had been great sources for her art. With saying that Kateryna placed her supplies on a table near an opened window and gave a beaming smile.

As much as Natalya could have turned around and left, something in her never failed to stir whenever her sister gave that smile of hers.

That’s how she ended up wanting to smash her head against the table; not wanting to upset her sister, who so cheerfully conversed with Ludwig just near the coffee machine. She opted to glare at her sister and her crush for a moment, to give her brain some stimulation.

After a while, other morning risers (although it was about to be afternoon, the rest would be be sleeping after the meeting they have had), began arriving and generally just going about their conversations with their friends.

She noticed that most of them were the Nordic nations, being greeted by the couple she was glaring at, usually paying no mind to the group but Natalya had a tendency to be aware towards her sister’s interactions, a habit picked up besides sketching.

Kateryna seemed to be close with them, and noticing that eased up her nerves quite a bit, Ludwig slowly placed his hand near her sister’ back, muttering something near her ear, in turn she moved towards him with a puzzling, flushed expression.

Natalya slightly smirked at the interaction, lately she had noticed how Ludwig was getting more closer to her. Bringing her a coffee after a meeting, admiring her paintings, driving around to different places whenever they visited a different country or even opting to bake with her. He was very attentive towards her and caring too.

Maybe they both were getting closer; as Ivan had whispered to her after he decided to spy on them on their ‘dates’, (badly) disguised in a long beard and sunglasses. She would have joined too, just for the fun of it, maybe she would have joined their date too as a third wheel.

Humming Natalya tapped her rubber lightly towards the empty paper, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and with furrowed brows, turned the paper around.

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“You know, time zones sure do suck a whole lot!”,

Mathias let out a boisterous laughter after his comment, followed by giggles and low muttering of agreements.

Besides him, Lukas puts his roughbook down, keenly looking around the table, mostly at the ‘couple’ they have lately grown accustomed to.

They were pleasant and thoughtful to converse with so he didn’t really mind. If anything, he found them both to be a charming pair or maybe that was just the poet within him.

His curious eyes follow Kateryna as she sets down her cup of coffee, still giggling slightly and nods towards Britte with widened eyes,

“Honestly you should ask Britte about the sleepy state Alfred was in; about to fall down the stairs if she wouldn’t have grabbed him in the last second”,

The Finnish woman nods with a wide grin, sipping her coffe, head tilting in thought. Ludwig tried hard not to snort at the image but fails in doing so making Mathias grin with content,

“Mathew wasn’t so good either, I was lucky enough to catch Alfred, do you know how heavy and muscled that boy is? Goodness”,

She shakes her head recalling the memory, giving Mathias a knowing look as he grins, flexing his muscles and directing a wink towards her.

“Not as me right?”, he asks humorously and she gives him a slap on the back as an answer, both of them chuckling with amusement.

Across from Britte, the blonde Ukrainian lady prompts her chin down on her palm and absentmindedly stirred her coffee,

“To be fair”, she takes a generous sip of her coffee, “Matthew isn’t muscular as Alfred, I would say. Sure a strong boy but even I could have caught him myself y’know!”,

Kateryna jokingly proceeded to copy Mathias’ movements and flexed her arm as well, making the man snort while drinking his coffee. She then suddenly grabbed Ludwig’s elbow, his confused face seemingly adorable to the lady, who then pinched his cheek,

“If it were Ludwig tho, this tank of a man, I wouldn’t have bothered at all”,

Ludwig blushed and gave an embarrassed smile as laughter followed the statement, although it was quite a compliment admittedly. Mathias gave a nudge to his foot and subtly winked towards him, making the man confused and somewhat excited.

That was the face of a troublemaker indeed. And it was alway a delight too.

The Danish man took a wide finishing gulp of his coffee and slammed his empty cup down the table, drawing attention towards him and somewhat the few occupants of the lounging room,

“So, Kateryna,” the lady and along with his lover stared at him with a puzzled expression, Lukas prayed he wouldn’t say anything dumb but still raised his eyebrow with curiosity, Ludwig proceeded to finish his remaining piece of a croissant, nonetheless focused on the situation.

“I take it you like a man with some strong muscles huh?”,

Ludwig chokes harshly and gladly takes the glass of water passed by Britte, who was now grinning at a blushing form of Kateryna, Mathias silently cheers at the desired reaction and once again begins to nudge Ludwig beneath the table.

Heading towards them from the kitchen, Berwald emerges with a tray of croissants and some other baked stuff, confused at the situation. Beside him, Emil looks unimpressed as ever and Lily holding his hand, seems to be quite curious.

“Well, it sure does help, no?”, Kateryna finally comments with a cheerful voice and places a hand on Ludwig’s shoulder, the man now blushing as red as a tomato from the contact and her contented smile,

Adorable. Really. Now kiss already.

Lukas lets out a snort of amusement at his own thoughts and shakes his head at the Dane’s behavior, he can be ridiculously nosy with other people’s love lives, and sadly that included his as well.

Berwald places the tray on the table and bends down to whisper something to Lukas’ ear. The latter then gets up, excusing himself from the group, Berwald now taking his seat besides Mathias.

“My man”, Lukas visibly shows his deadpanned eyes filled with dismay as Mathias slams a hand on his back, “when are you getting yourself a lady huh? Look at you— your hair’s turning grey—“,

Mathias is harshly cut off by Berwald, the man who he definitely owed a favor to, tugging at his collar. Followed by cursing and a series of whining, taking his cue Lukas gives a smirk towards them and walks away, with his book in hand, towards a certain lonesome lady.

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Natalya was hoping to draw something mystical, she had drawn some flowers— wow so original— and some sketches of her cat. Although what she did not expect for her hands to do was the fact that-,

“I must say; I am quite flattered”,

Lukas wryly grins at her faint exasperated expression, placing a hand near her sketchbook and staring at her product. A sketch which clearly appeared to be him, drinking his cup of coffee, writing something on his book with a calming expression, it was quite rough but had a beauty to it which appeared so soothing to look at.

“If you wanted an inspiration that badly, I would have been honored to help you. I do have a mystical appearance as people say”,

He continued rambling, his tone light and teasing, the sketching was amazing. And honestly he was beyond impressed at the raw talent displayed all over the page.

“Oh really”, Natalya almost stammered and innerly cursed herself. This was so embarrassing! Great, her sister would never give her a piece of mind after this. Not to mention, now everyone would be bothering and teasing her after this.

And she preferred to be left alone with her works, these were precious and personal to her. It wasn’t something to display so openly to everyone else.

Lukas frowns as she slams her book shut, Feigning an innocent expression, he slightly smirks as she turns towards him with an irritated glare,

“I was actually looking for an inspiration regarding trolls”, She looked up and down over his form and then gave a pleased smirk of her own at his deadpanned face, with a sharp raise of her eyebrow.

“You would fit the role perfectly”.

Lukas grumbled and crossed his arms, shuffling on his feet, his eyes though remained on the sketchbook she had closed earlier. Curiosity gnawing at his heart and mind alike, fingers gripping his book tightly, itching to write.

Natalya opens the book again, only to quickly turn to a fresh page and tap it with a pencil, biting her lip and trying her hardest to ignore the man standing next to her. She was not nervous. dammit.

She decides to simply ignore him. I mean maybe Kateryna was done conversing and would drag her to some other places, but she could see her sister enjoying herself with her group of friends.

And it was a genuine happiness she had seen from her, bold and clear laughter could be heard along with her expressive voice. Natalya sometimes wished she could have that as well, a genuine closeness with people she could trust.

Ludwig was a hard man to trust for her. But he had been patient and always respectful towards her, even his brother was the same. They both conversed about several things and never crossed their limits with each other.

A money of brief silence passes between them until Lukas decides to gracefully break it,

“You gave me wings”,

Natalya’s pencil comes to a halt as she slowly turns towards him with a deadpanned face, ignoring her heart beating vigorously against her chest.

This was really stupid.

“It was nothing”,

“Faint, but quite visible, it gave a mystical look. I am really…. glad that I got to see it”, he mumbles now, voice on the low as his eyes scan at her present sketch. Huh, a butterfly, a very elaborate one at that.

There’s a shudder when she breathes and finally with a sigh, Natalya turns towards him. Directly looking at him in the eyes.

And Lukas feels it.

The absolute raw emotions and feelings which shine in her eyes, there’s melancholy and a longing for something that cannot be reached. There’s something in her expression, unreadable, yet it’s trying to display a sense of familiarity.

It’s a closure of a messed up soul, calling for someone who does not seem to be trustful. Or maybe it’s herself she does not trust, with her messy emotions and flurry of feelings which brews a storm, always aching within her bones.

She does not trust herself to not break, the moment someone touches her with love she has craved and longed for all along.

Lukas shakes his head, turning away from her, he doesn’t notice her stare soften or her hand clenching the pencil at the moment.

There’s a tense feeling between them, he simply doesn’t know how else to explain it. Or his feelings right now for that matter. He tries to calm down the rush of a burning feeling on his chest.

Once again, his hands itch to write something and the grip around his book tightens.

He tries, he does, he fails.

Perhaps.

“Her petals wilt at the edges”,

Natalya, once again looks at him with those same eyes, seeming to hold so much at once.

Lukas pretends to think, stroking his chin and whimsically staring out of the window. However his mind was scrambling for words to spill already.

“A Rose?…. Hm, yes, she was a rose”,

The lady in question gives an unimpressed raise of her eyebrow and continue to stare at her drawing of a butterfly.

“Her heart blooms,

Or tries to,

Desperately beating,

And hopelessly bleeding”,

He drums his fingers on the table now, trying hard enough to describe the image present on his mind. It was hard to do so. But he could almost explain it, the words seem to weigh heavily on his tongue.

“A rose and then a heart? How romantic”, Natalya murmurs and gives him a side eye, although dare he say, she almost seemed to be interested in what he was trying to convey.

He gives a disdainful sigh and places his book on the table, which she decides to take a complete look at, eyes on a hunting spree for any secret she could find. There was none.

It wasn’t really his journal, just a rough book he had picked up along the way.

Though the last entry seemed to catch her attention quite well, with a whispery voice she reads out the lines,

“A rose

Yes

She was a rose

A rose who wilted

Waiting for one

Who dared to grasp

Her thorns

— A rose”

Lukas shrugs and rubs his neck awkwardly, “I once read that somewhere”, he admits. He wasn’t going to take credit of something he didn’t write obviously.

A finger lightly traces the lines, deep purple eyes look up at him with a hint of growing curiosity,

“Oh? What did you write it down for?”,

“An inspiration, you could say”, He simply answers with that to her question. It was true, sometimes someone else’s writings motivates and inspires him to create something new and with a hint of familiarity.

“Similar to being inspired by a sketch?”,

“Well yes, of course”,

Natalya hums and turns the pages of the book, trying to read every inch of whatever was written. It was charming, to have someone be so interested in wanting to read what you have written.

“I was never good with words, never doing me any good, making me feel more confused to describe what I felt, it was frustrating; trying to find words which could explain what I always wanted to”,

She tells and he listens.

“I could never reach out, the only comfort I could find in, was to make things that I could understand myself and that was through art. I did what I wanted to and it displayed it perfectly, with its raw scars ever present”,

There’s an understanding silence stretching between them.

“So you closed yourself in? Because you could never truly express yourself through words?“,

She doesn’t answer but yet he knows.

“Could you describe me? As you were doing so before, I would like to hear it”,

Natalya closes his book delicately, and folds her hand on her lap. A series of words run through Lukas’ mind once again and he almost stutters, similar to a pen drying up.

There’s a comforting silence and Lukas almost doesn’t want to break it, but she has asked him to and he wanted to comply.

“She was a rose

Wilted at the edges

Black as coal

Yet she blooms forevermore

Against the brewing cold

Which freezes her to the core”,

Think you idiot.

“Struggling against the frost

Against the encircled thorns

A heart desperately

Trying to bloom and beating

Weeps silently and keeps locked

All the burdening sorrows”,

He sees her nodding, eyebrows scrunched together now. She seems to be more intrigued in whatever he was saying, although it was corny.

Once again, he takes a deep breath now. Trying to think of something unique to describe her as, or even himself for that matter, both of them weren’t so different after all as he would have thought before.

Natalya had always been a mystery to Lukas at first; sharp and indifferent to her surroundings and other people. Blunt and clear with her words, never to back down form her point of perspectives. Cold and distant from everyone else, except her siblings, occasionally Felix and his newfound date, Sophia.

Kateryna had always complimented her sister, even though she appeared to be rude towards her. Always willing to defend her image and striving to make her mingle with other people.

He could see why was that so. It was somewhat similar to Britte and Mathias wanting to make him come ‘out of his shell’, though he was content with his relations with other people with how they were without any bothersome issues.

Natalya wasn’t a bothersome person, if anything she was quite calm, and very guarded about herself.

“She was a star

So distant and so far

Unreachable and untouchable

Shimmering as a dagger

As a lonesome tear

Riddled with scars

Almost could pierce your heart”,

His words come out slow and he puts on a thoughtful look on his face, head tilted and his eyes wander towards the artists sitting beside him, doodling something as he starts forming his own thoughts into solid words,

“That’s enough thinking for today”,

There’s a awkward cough from him as he stammers inaudibly, trying not to lose his cool composure. Damn it, out of all the times in the world it had to be now that his brain stops working?

Natalya completely turns towards him and gives a lopsided smirk, there’s an ease in her composure at the moment. Her eyes no longer narrowed and shimmering with amusement, he doesn’t know.

“Well yes, I should….”,

Lukas trails off as he notices the pretty star drawn on his book, it was rougher than her previous sketches and yet never failed to look so beautiful nonetheless. To be fair, it was drawn fairly quickly, he had to give her credit for that.

A small smile forms on his face and the Belarusian noticeably flushes, her cheeks a shade of red. She gives a firm nod with a hint of a smile, closing his book gently and slides it towards him.

“So much for inspiration”,

Natalia states dryly, giving him a sly smile, he rolls his eyes playfully and grabs his book. There’s a silent goodbye between the both of them, which they are glad for, there wasn’t a need for words anymore.

For now that is.

Lukas feels her stare on his back as he leaves on his way and doesn’t miss the way his heart flutters similar to the wings of a butterfly.

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“Natalya~~ so did you get motivated?? It’s such a lovely weather today, let’s hang out somewhere nearby!”,

The sound of Kateryna’s voice is loud enough to rouse her awake from her thoughts, stretching her back for a moment, she quickly gathers her supplies and gets up from her seat.

“I wouldn’t mind that sister”,

There’s a flash of a surprised look on Kateryna’s face at the reply but it’s quickly gone and replaced with a calm expression.

She then notices a covered cup which is offered to her, Natalya raises a brow at her sister who only gives a silent shrug of her shoulders. Taking the warm cup, she nods thankfully and doesn’t really mind when her sister wraps her arm around her and grabs Ludwig’s hand with the other.

“It would be wonderful, no? Ludwig, you could invite your brother and Francine as well!~ maybe the Nordics could come too”,

“Of course, it would be my pleasure”.

Ludwig stared at her fondly for a moment and a soft smile graces his face, this is the moment which Natalya notices and a slight twist forms in her heart at the scene.

But it isn’t painful. It almost feels like hope.

She truly hoped, that one day someone would stare at her as if she was an art itself as well. So gentle and filled with adoration.

The coffee tastes sweet and it’s quite lovely on her tongue.

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Lukas pays no mind towards Mathias as he keeps bothering him with questions he doesn’t care enough to answer.

“So, got any luck with the ladies yet?”,

He grips his phone and rolls his eyes at the Dane’s question, who no doubt snuck alcohol into the cafeteria lounge. Couldn’t he head to the bar made specifically for that purpose?

“Man”, he burps loudly and Lukas stares at him with utter dissatisfaction and disappointment, ”you should have told me you had a crush on Kat, I mean going for her sister when that didn’t work out—“,

Lukas couldn’t help but stare at the man with disdain, really he was one of his closest friends, he was joking right?

“I could have hooked you both up fr, know what I am saying?”,

Alas he wasn’t about to get answer from the Norwegian as Britte came up behind him with also a disappointed frown and swiftly slammed the man’s head on the table, almost knocking him up unconscious.

“Done! Ah, I should have known he would end up getting drunk, so sorry about that Lukas. He just cares about you a lot haha”,

The Finnish woman gives a beaming smile, pulling a groaning Mathias up from his seat and dragging him towards the hotel rooms. He would be fine, the pair were apparently made of steel.

Lukas wasn’t joking, it was indeed a testified confirmed fact. Both of them got frequently in danger in the name of ‘fun dating time’ just for the thrill.

Huh.

His life was a full on comedy and a romantic flick, it seemed.

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Natalya smiles at the setting sun as she lays her down against the cool window pane, the radio on the low and the car speeding up on the road.

Ludwig is the one driving, with her sister on the passenger seat chatting up with Francine and Gilbert, she was sitting besides Madeline, who appeared to be rather solemn, in the far back. Content with the background noise for once.

‘Maybe you can meet an another artist!’

Huh.

So her sister wasn’t so wrong after all, Maybe she should give this thing a try, just for a dose of inspiration and motivation, of course. Nothing more or less.

Yes, just for a good source for inspiration, indeed.