#demovent

I believe it's a false diagnosis, but what I believe doesn't matter and never has done

Of course I was told immediately to cut back on sugars and carbs. I have an appointment on Friday where they might give me actual advice, but they're more than likely just going to try to peddle Ozempic and give me a piece of paper

But the thing is. I don't consume much sugar, or staple-crop carbs. I have sugar in my tea, drink milk, and like to eat fruit every so often but don't have a sweet tooth at all and can't eat more than a single bite of chocolate in a day. I skip most of the carbs in my meals because mother's cooking could singlehandedly convince me I'm dead and live in hell, and my diet already consists mostly of meat and eggs with spinach when I can get my hands on it

And, to be fair, packet noodles. They're cheap and a good way to get salt into my body (because I very often get headaches that can be cured by salt)

So like, I guess I cut out the noodles. But that can't singlehandedly be my problem, can it?

Mother has already said she's never making me a meal with carbs in it ever again

I don't have much control over my diet, as you might be able to tell. Or my life in general really. I don't even get to choose when I can go outside. But I like good food, and I feel like the small amount of good food I do have is being forcibly ripped from me

I don't get to choose what I put in my body or what my body looks like. I can't get a haircut without permission from both family and the goddamned hairdresser. I am frequently told to do the impossible and lose weight (if I was going to lose weight, it wouldve happened during the time I was consuming 100 calories every other day)

And now I'm losing what little bit of control I do have over my diet and my body, and for what? To live some miserable fucking life where I can't even enjoy food?

The world is fucking burning and I'm not allowed sugar in my weekly cup of tea

It gets worse if I get less sleep but then that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because I can't sleep because my jaw hurts!

But realistically what will they do? Tell me to take meds I'm already taking, tell me to see a dentist because apparently the entire jaw counts as teeth? Never mind that finding a dentist amounts to calling every single practice within a several mile radius to see if they're taking on new patients, because no medical practice in Scotland knows what a fucking email is