#demidorks being dramatic

Percy, disdainfully: He’s a Roman!

Annabeth: So you two are just going to feud for the rest of your lives?

Jason, nodding: Absolutely. I’ll teach my sons to hate his sons, and I expect no less from him.

Percy, in agreement: Naturally. Sleep with both eyes open.

Jason, snarky: It’s sleep with one eye open, idiot.

Annabeth: Further is for physical distance, farther is for metaphorical distance.

Jason: And father is for emotional distance.

Percy: Dude, who hurt you?

Percy, sighing: I hope so. It’s just…sometimes I just feel like the biggest fuck up in the world, you know?

Jason, hand on his shoulder comfortingly: If only you could see yourself through my eyes.

Percy: *looking at him expectantly*

Jason, concerned: What? Why?

Percy: We were out in the city and ran into one of his random minor god friends. And do you know how he introduced me?

Jason: How?

Percy, offended: “He’s my buddy’s boyfriend.” Can you believe that?!

Jason, confused: But. You are my boyfriend.

Nico, tied to a chair: *looks to Jason standing silently behind him holding the rope*

Jason: *silently nods back at him. Sternly*

Praetor Jason, frowning: Nico, what - You haven’t have you?

Nico, shrugging: Oh, excuse me for being cautious.

Octavian: Why are you following me around everywhere?

Nico: I dunno. Need to keep tabs on the crazy ones, y’know?

Praetor Jason, rubbing out his temples: Nico, we talked about that word.

Nico, muttering: We also talked about my “concerns”. But sure whatever -

Jason, accepting the cup: Lovely.

Nico, running in and smacking the cup out his hands: No, no, no! I told you, only drink poison if I give it to you, idiot.