Sorry for the late post, I have been absolutely swamped at school and have very little time for anything extra so unfortunately, this monthās chapter of āA Matter of Life and Deathā is going to be a little late. Iām aiming for sometime this coming week, but Iām in an accelerated college program and we are just about to enter finals so we shall see!
I also want to have a drawing to post with it ā itās a longish chapter!
Anyway, thank you for your patience!! I apologize for not getting this PSA out sooner!
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What would your current muse(s)ās New Yearās plans be?
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Iāve seen it three four times now and Iām still all over the place!!!Ā
Iāve cried my way through the first viewing: started on Vormir and didnāt really stop until the end! And went full on bawling and ugly sobbing in the last 30 minutes or so.Ā
It got better with every time but in the end I was always in tears, sobbing (not so) silently into my scarf.Ā
Here are some random and not in order thoughts, gathered through the last four times.Ā
- the first moments where Hawkeye loses his family were terrible, and my heart ached for him.Ā
- HEARING Sam in the earpiece made me all mushy and squeey and there might have been noises.Ā āOn your leftā will forever make me all teary eyed from now on!Ā
- seeing all these portals opening gave me all the goosebumps: that was one hell of a fucking epic entrance!!!Ā
- as was the Ladiesās Squad moment! So fucking incredible! I cheered so much!!Ā
- CAROL!!! The HAIR! HerĀ āHi, Peter Parkerā Sheās the fucking cutest, and I love her so much!!!Ā
- Peter freaking Parker!!! As little screen time as he had, it was perfect. And he finally got that fucking hug!!!! And it was a damn good one!!! *clutches heart*Ā
- Tony Fucking Stark!Ā My beautiful, flawed, very human superhero! My darling darling heart. God, I canāt even type this without tearing up. 11 years in the making, heās made the final sacrifice, gave us the ultimate proof that heās got the biggest and softest heart in all of history!!! I had a bad feeling going into the film,Ā I feared it would end like this. Yet, it was perfect, the only way I could accept it.Ā Iām just glad heād got at least a few years of peace and happiness. Im so proud of him, leaving behind one hell of a legacy in form of his wife and his lovely (and probably clever as fuck) daughter who will carry on her fathers heart and soul inside of her! Im sure sheāll be doing some GREAT things!!!Ā
- Family Stark! Soft cuddly cardigan wearing Tony,Ā sweet understanding Pepper, cute kid whoās just as cheeky as her Dad!! *clutches heart*Ā Im sure thereāll be a shitload of fic covering those five years and Iāll be reading them all!!!Ā
- Pepper. Gosh, that woman. In the past, she made me want to smack her around the head, tell her to either have patience or just leave him (alone). Yet she stuck around, and for the very first time she actually UNDERSTOOD what her manās doing. In the end she understood. And she let him go which broke my heart into a million pieces. She loves him. And there it shows. Sheās always tried to keep him save, and upon realizing that she couldnāt, she gave him the peace and love he deserved and needed. And in the end, sheād let him go. He can rest indeed now. *sobs violently* Even after a fourth time seeing it (and making it through most of it without crying), that fucking sentence is my undoing. Always.Ā
- all the tiny callbacks to 22 movies - such a beautiful love letter to everything the MCU achieved and continues to do. The elevator scene, Buckyās goodbye in the end, Tonyās last line.. all those tiny things (thankfully fresh in my mind due to recent rewatches!) are so lovely and wonderful and I love them all for doing them!!! Such attention to detail - one of the many reasons I do love the MCU so much!!!Ā
- fucking CHEESEBURGERS!! Never thought some simple food will be the reason for more violent and very ugly sobbing!Ā
- PEGGY! JARVIS! HOWARD! The Ancient One! All thoseĀ āoldā faces, that was so cool!!! And very unexpected so that was an amazing surprise!Ā
- the fucking END CREDITS!!! The OG 6 getting their special moment!!! That was soo beautiful and made me sob all over again!!!Ā
- Cap!! As yāall know heās NOT my fav (and even though he was a tad OOC in this (LANGUAGE, Cap!), he won me over in this. I loved the quips (āYeah, I KNOW!ā)Ā tho, and also LOOOOOOOOOVED him wielding the fucking hammer!!! God, that was incredible!!! I wished I could see this for the first time again and again! The entire cinema exploded into cheers, it was amazing!!! (Which naturally leads to me wanting to know whether he faked not being able to move that damn thing back in AoU or if heās grown worthy during the last few yearsā¦)Ā
Im seeing loads of people not liking the ending, feeling that itās not what he would do. Seriously??? That manās saved the world/the universe soo many time, sacrificed so much to keep everyone save, and you still think - given the chance - he wouldnāt go and FINALLY have the happy ending he deserves? I mean, Iām not a comic book person, I can only go from the films but honestly, it was the only way they couldāve ended Capās storyline. He knows everyoneās save, thereās nothing left to do for him (cause you can bet your ass that Tony made sure EVERY SINGLE THREAT has been eliminated with that damn snap!) why wouldnāt he pursue some happiness for himself after all these years.Ā
- 3 hours have never felt this short!!! There was barely a lull in the storyline (after my third viewing i would choose only two scenes to run to the loo and theyāre pretty early on soā¦), the pace is incredible, the plotās tight and well thought through.Ā
Yes, the time-traveling isnāt perfect but honestly, thatās not the point. Itās about the people, the OG Six and their relationships, built through the years, about love and respect, about the trauma they all went through and how they dealt with it. Itās all about the people, the plot for once is only secondary. And thatās fine. It works when you donāt think about it too hard (just donāt, youāll only get a headache from it). And even if, thereās a few explanations out there already, and I can totally live with that. I donāt need this explained in the smallest detail. It works perfectly (for me), thatās all I care about.Ā
- I also wonder about a few things: just read that Hollands lines might have been altered and now Im dying to know whether thatās true. I wouldnāt put it past the Russos to have him say something else entirely and then did ADR with a gazzilion lines only to throw him off.Ā
Same goes for everyone else: did they KNOW they were filming Tonyās death and his funeral? Or did they film more and differently and didnāt tell them what as actually happening? When did they tell RDJ that he was going to die? And how? Was he allowed to have a say in it? SO MANY questions. I NEED ANSWERS!!Ā
- Tonyās speech in the end!!! That was not only Tony speaking, to me that was also RDJ, saying goodbye (finally able to actually LISTEN to him w/o sobbingĀ too loudly). And that makes it even more wonderful and sad and heartbreaking and lovely!Ā“I will miss him so fucking much. Heās been MY hero from the start; and even though there have been more over the years to adore and worship, when it comes to choosing one over the others, I will always chose Iron Man! .. .no, I will always chose TONY STARK! Heās been my first superhero, Iāve been with him all the way, and I will always remember the time when he was Iron Man, ready to die for the world, hell, the universe, sacrificing all he had for the lives of everyone else. Which in the end he did without hesitating.Ā
All in all it was the perfect homage to the Original 6! A perfect ending, coming full circle after 11 years! Everyone got their arc closed, their story told. Thereās new blood now, Carol and Scott, Shuri and Valkyrie, Strange and Spidey, and more, they will keep everyone save!Ā
So yeah, seeing it four times (with a fifth one in the works (on Sunday) and perhaps a sixth with a friend along the line), Iām still loving every damn second, and itās still the best and most epic and perfect film in the entirety of the MCU!Ā
I will miss Tony, his snark, his biting sarcasm, his huge heart, his looking after everyone whether they want it or not.Ā
But the MCU is in good hands, I have the feeling Carol will be taking over that part (the sass is already there!), and Iām sure the rest will do pretty damn great!Ā
You can rest now, Tony <3Ā
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Sorry for the delay. I'm not in the headspace to post the new chapter to New Beginnings and Old Wounds tonight... It's been a weird day and I want to feel better before I post....
It'll be up tomorrow early evening/late afternoon.
Tomorrow would be when I would update but I'm in the middle of moving houses and transferring to a different store so I won't have the time to post this week. Maybe next week some time but not now.