#defyaugury

Five things I like about myself:

My music taste is very eclectic and I never got to that stage that so many middle aged people do of deciding that all modern music is crap. I still enjoy listening to all kinds of new stuff.

I can be very strong willed when it’s something I really care about, and I can sustain that for a long time. 

My perspective on most things is unusual. This can be a curse as well as a blessing, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

There is no malice in me. I might hurt you by accident or by being oblivious, but I will never hurt anyone on purpose. I won’t even want to.

defyaugury replied to your post “Listening to Metamashina and your writing song habit is not weird at...”

I once wrote an entire academic paper, that got published in a journal, listening to nothing except "Clique" on repeat bc that was what let me focus. it's totally normal

happy for you! it's cool that you have a date for being together even w/no wedding

Going to preface this by saying that I’m not...

Firstly, sorry I’m doing this in answer format where it’s harder to follow what I’m actually answering - I’ve got your actual post open in another tag - but OP asked me to keep my comments off her post, so I’m doing that.

The truth is that I’ve seen many posts which cast the relationship between Rey and Kylo as both an essentially sexual thing and a metaphor for the central theme of light and dark and balance and how they need each other. I do get, therefore, that that is hitting something that a lot of people are finding affirming and positive.

I’m not trying to stop anyone from finding that affirming and positive. I appreciate you telling me why you find it so, and that’s great. I’m glad that you have got something that is valuable to you.

However, that very same thing makes me feel alienated and uncomfortable and invisible. It’s an intersectional thing, isn’t it? Depending on where you come from, the same things may not be affirming for everyone.

On my own dash, it’s mostly Reylo posts which are coming up with all of this meta about female sexuality and Rey and Kylo’s intertwined centrality to the plot - and that’s the reason why I now have Reylo blacklisted. I’m not trying to stop people from enjoying and relishing a thing that I don’t like. I’m just hoping that ideally - given that it makes me unhappy - they won’t do it around me.

But this means that when a post crosses my dash which is not blacklisted, I don’t automatically assume that it’s a Reylo post. I follow mostly Kylux and Hux orientated blogs. So when a post on my dash says “All of us,” I assume it means either “all kylux fans,” or “all fans.”

The way this post is organized, it contrasts “All of us,” with “Straight men.” So I read that as “Every fan of every orientation except for straight men reads the Rey & Kylo interactions of TLJ as Rey’s sexual awakening.” And that’s just not true.

I hate being generalized about wrongly, and I hate my existence being made invisible. So I ranted for a paragraph and hit a nerve with other ace people who also find stories about sexual awakening alienating and false to our own experience of life.

It wasn’t meant to be a manifesto - it was meant to be a casual throwaway comment about a thing on my dash about which I disagreed. I’m not interested enough in the relationship between Rey and Kylo to make some kind of meta statement about it, other than “I personally don’t like it when ace people’s existence is forgotten.” Even then I’m aware I’m having a “not all men” reaction to a generalization that was probably originally meant as “All of us Reylo fans” (though doubtlessly there are ace Reylo fans too who don’t appreciate the assumption that their femininity is tied to their sexuality.)

weariness like a suit from which one cannot undress

endless waves of chanting

also @defyaugury‘s 4. are you a big dog or small dog wlw? 13. are you a highlighter or a bronzer wlw? 21. are you a flannel or a leather jacket wlw? 

header: love you guys thank you for asking me things 

the character i least understand - Palpatine probably, I mean he’s magnificently manipulative and evil, but what is he getting out of it? The character I least understand the fandom’s obsession with would be Boba Fett.

interactions i enjoyed the most - Qui-Gon and Padme’s little dance around the “I am totally not the Queen, but she wouldn’t like this,” “Obviously not (your majesty) but she doesn’t have to know.” LOL! Bless.

the character who scares me the most - Early Palpatine, when he’s still so very plausible, and you think you know what he’s up to but he turns out to be up to something else entirely and you’ve just played into his hands.

the character who is mostly like me - I don’t think any of them are really like me.  Probably C3PO, come to think of it. However, I have tried to be more like Qui-Gon since I first saw TPM.

hottest looks character - Hux without a doubt, the man is like Lucifer fallen from Heaven.

one thing i dislike about my fave character - he’s a mass murdering fascist warmonger.

one thing i like about my hated character - Jabba - he’s got good taste in sail barges.

a quote or scene that haunts me - Qui-Gon choosing to kneel and meditate his way into serenity and peace moments before his death.

a death that left me indifferent - the Jedi council on Geonosis

a character i wish died but didn’t - I can’t think of anyone