#definitelynotcesia

yes, you just woke up from a creepy nightmare yet again. when you can't get yourself to go back to sleep, you decided to call your best friend, beomgyu, thinking he'd entertain you with his nonsense for a while. but it's starting to seem like this is the worst idea.

"hey what's happening?" he asked when he heard weird shuffling noises from the other line. "are you strangling the white lady right now?" he asked jokingly.

"ITS NOT FUNNY!" you yelled feigning a tough font.

though he got surprised, beomgyu quickly realized what's going on. you, being the scaredy cat that you are, are probably bundled up on your own bed right now believing that there's actually a white lady in the room. the thought of your tiny face peaking through the comforter, eyes frantically moving around, made him laugh.

"what? do you want me to come over?" he asked while still laughing.

"no thank you" you quickly replied sensing that he'll tease you to death if you say yes.

"alright, its up to you though. all im saying is—"

"i fucking hate you!" you yelled cutting him off before he could say anything more to creep you out. you pressed the red button on the screen to end the call and proceed to hide under your huge comforter.

"you just watch beomgyu, i'll fucking send you back to hell—"

you were cut off when you heard rustling somewhere on your far right. you swear your heart almost jumped out. you ran about a hundred possible reasons on your mind to explain the sound but the only thing that's stuck on your mind is the face of the creepy smiling lady you saw on your dream.

maybe because you yelled a bad word, or you said the word hell, that you summoned these dark forces? you're aware of how childish that sounded but being rational is the last thing you can do when you're completely alone in your pitch black unit.

it took you few seconds to realize that the rustling you heard is still going on, and it's in fact, a scratching sound. like nails grinding on glass. its getting louder and faster by the minute. you felt your body tense, your heart beating very loud. then, a shiver ran through your spine at the exact same moment the scratching stopped. what the actual fuck.

moments later, you felt the ends of your bed sunk. as if something— someone just sat. it cant be beomgyu because you sure locked the front door, and there's no other way for him to sneak in to scare you.

"OH GOD!" you cried in surprise when you felt your phone vibrate under one of your pillows.

its a text from beomgyu.

open up, im outside.

reading the message gave you the courage to run as fast as you can towards the front door. you even fumbled through the extra lock because your hands are too shaky.

"i was—" you hugged him as soon as you open the door leaving him utterly shocked.

beomgyu noticed how cold your skin felt and that you are slightly shaking. although he is still confused, he hugged you back as well. to which you were thankful because your knees would've given up from that point as it is trembling too much.

"shhh, it's okay. im already here. it's okay, you're safe now" he whispered while gently caressing your back. hearing his words triggered all the pent up fear you had earlier which made you breakdown on his chest. "it's okay, baby. im already here." he continued to whisper comforting words to you.

"i was so scared" you said in between your sniffles.

"i know. im sorry i scared you. im sorry, baby"

you stood there hugging for almost ten minutes before he gently ushered you inside the house. you are still crying and trembling as he settled you in the couch. he quickly got your comforter from your room and prepped the couch.

"move closer to me please" he guided your upper body to a cuddling position. after you both got settled, he continued to stroke your back using his free hand. "go back to sleep now, baby" he said in the most reassuring voice.

it may be weird to admit but having his arms around you felt very secure and warm, the kind that makes you want to stay there forever. you feel safe with his hands gently drawing circles at the small of your back and the sound of his voice whispering words of comfort. you were pretty sure you heard him call you baby since earlier but you couldn't care less. right at this moment, you just felt home in the arms of your best friend.

— end.

he turned towards you as he scooted closer and gave your forehead a light finger flick. "idiot, i'm being serious."

"just kidding," you snorted. "what do you mean cosmic insignificance?"

"you know how there are seven billion people on the planet, and you only get the chance to meet a handful..." he sighed looking up at the night sky, which encouraged you to do the same.

"i don't think that applies to you, sir," you replied in the same hushed voice he used before. "you're literally an idol."

"no but look up at the night sky. we think our world is so big, but in contrast, it's just a tiny dot in the whole space. we're literally like cells. aren't we insignificant?" he explained.

"maybe you should stop hanging out with taehyun for a minute." you gave him a nudge on his forearm as you chuckled. he turned towards you once again, but this time, he held eye contact for what felt like an eternity. if the stars in the galaxy would see your pretty eyes, they'd understand insignificance.

most times, beomgyu was an open book. the gaze he held now, unlike the usual, was unreadable. you've been friends for so long that you had him almost memorized. but it's in times like these that you remember he wasn't like any of your favorite fairytales.

the sudden cold air brought you back to your senses, only to see him start to move away from you.

"hey! i'm just kidding", you called as quietly as you could. well, your dorm manager couldn't know he snuck you out to the rooftop for a supposed 'star gazing date'. "come back here, you dumbass."

he tried to fight a smile but it somehow made its way to his lips, secretly adoring your playfulness.

you noticed his movements slowed down, so you used the opportunity to grab him back to where he was seated, probably a little closer but hey it's cold!

"that isn't how you're supposed to answer an existential question, dumbass!" he replied imitating your tone earlier. his face contorting in frustration made you snort, which then turned into a quiet laughing fit. confusion made it's way to his brows.

after a few more drawn breathes, you tried to settle yourself and answer him. "to the universe, probably." he nodded in agreement. "but why would that matter?", you quickly added for the sake of teasing him.

he knew what you were doing so he started moving away again. but before he could do so, you grabbed his wrist to pin him.

"i answered you already! i was just asking why would it matter, why are you mad about that?" you whined.

"i don't know, maybe you should introspect more," he replied giving you annoyed looks.

you contently smiled and looked back up at the night sky again. "but what if i tell you i used to think about that all the time; back when i was a kid... and even more so when i met you,"

"i used to dream about becoming someone; loved and praised by a lot of people. i have always wanted to be the world's greatest girl." you laughed at how childish that sounded. "but i grew up and figured it happens only to a few special people, and i was, in cosmic standards, not one of them."

it's your turn to sigh.

"that's not true though," he replied so quietly that if not with the proximity you have now, you would not have caught on.

"i know", you laughed. admittedly, you wanted to tease him more but there's a truth to that response too. "because, like my question earlier, why should that matter to anyone? being significant is subjective, gyu."

"i guess you got a point."

"i always do."

he let out a small 'tss' which either meant 'yeah you do' or 'the nerve of this dumbass'. more like the latter.

"what about the part you said 'when you met me'?" this time his whole body was turned towards you. his eyes twinkled with mischief— and probably anticipation which, for some reason, made you feel light-headed and tingly on the inside.

"no, we don't talk about that." you tried averting.

"yah!! why not? i wanna know!" he whined.

"and that's on narcissism", you responded trying to sound as sarcastic as possible. "that's not good, gyu." you added with a wink.

and just when you thought that was a good offense, he brought his face even closer to yours.

"and what about it?" he said sporting a charming smile that definitely brought millions of fans weak on their knees. "i wanna hear!"

"i don't wanna tell."

"why nooooot?" he whined once again.

"b-because when you came i realized i don't wanna be the world's greatest girl anymore..." you stammered.

if only regret comes before, you could've stopped yourself sooner. and why would you say that in the first place, idiot?

"and that's because..." he asked.

"fuck you." you retorted despite your flaming cheeks. he really had the audacity to tease when you're literally confessing your years' worth of unrequited feelings for him.

"bad words are foul, sweetheart," he said as he held your forearm tightly as if he doesn't want you to move away any further, but at the same time, tenderly as if he doesn't want you to break. "and complete your sentence."

"you already know what's next!" you said trying not to break your resolve.

"what if i don't?" he said cockily.

you rolled your eyes at him and let out a huge sigh. this mf.

"okay, but what if i wanna hear it?"

this caused you to look up at him quickly. he was still sporting that cocky smile, but his eyes... they're beautiful as ever. maybe the reason why his eyes held the stars is because he is the space himself, ethereal but also unfamiliar.

"i-i don't wanna be the world's greatest girl anymore, i...", you started. few minutes ago you had it in yourself not to do dumb things to keep him yours, just like how its supposed to be. and yet here you are, y/n, might as well be a brave idiot. " just wanna be your number one girl."

he stared at you for a second before a smile broke into his lips, and a second further, you found yourself breathless.

his lips against yours, your heart against his. you felt cosmic.

— end.

cesia's masterlist.

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"c'mon, its so unfair. acting aegyo is too much!" he whined trying to convince you.

"and doing a full song cover is too much too!" you replied with the same whining tone.

"no it's not!" he said.

"then aegyo is not too!" you replied standing your ground.

your relationship has always been like this. friendly competition and bets. mostly just trying to get one to do something for the other. you both are too shy to ask directly so you always have a unique way of doing it.

"alright alright. i agreed to it anyway, so you should too." he said raising his hands up as a sign of surrender. you both made a pinky promise to seal the deal, like you do everytime.

"anyways, before i forgot... i got you something!" you said when something popped inside your mind.

you ran towards the living room to get the matching bracelets from your bag.

"tada!" you cheerfully showed him the bracelets.

it has a minimalistic design made of thin black strap with a small stone as the pendant.

"did you know i bought this from the animal shelter near my workplace. its a fundraiser actually. they're trying to raise funds for food and maintenance of the shelter. it's a little bit pricey but it's fine since its for a good cause." you said while fiddling the bracelets. you were completely unaware that you were pouting the whole time, which your boyfriend swears as the cutest thing in the world.

he knows he'll loose the bet right away just by staring at you so he looked towards the bracelets and picked the one with the purple stone.

"no no, that's mine." you said grabbing it back from his hands.

"but isn't it an amethyst stone though?" he asked.

"yes, your birth stone. that's why it's mine!" you cheerily replied again. "and this is yours." you said grabbing his wrist to put on the bracelet with your birthstone for him.

"i've been meaning to buy something that would remind me of you, something that i can look at whenever i miss you." you said as you were trying hard to figure out how the clasp work.

watching you delicately put on the bracelet while saying those words warmed his heart. he knows you are definitely doing this on purpose so he would loose the bet.

acting aegyo in front of anyone pains him, but it would be much more painful to keep himself from flushing because of your cuteness.

"what do you think?" you asked, finally looking up to meet his eyes.

he instantly averted from your gaze, trying to act like everything except your eyes amused him. you were puzzled by this at first, until you noticed the subtle pinkness dusting his cheeks.

"oh my god, are you blushing?" you asked with a little gasp. you don't know what exactly made him blush but you decided to ride on it. you still have a bet going on anyways.

"no" as confident as he sounded, his face says otherwise. now he just became even more red, his neck and ears are practically the same shade as tomatoes.

"did i really just made my cool, smart, sexy boyfriend blush?" you teased.

and as if his face could get any redder with your compliments, he completely covered his face with both of his hands. you can't help but laugh at how adorable he is acting right now.

you shifted closer to hug him. "oh my gosh my boyfriend is so cute" you said, this time without the intention if teasing him.

"y/n stop." he said as he place his face at the crook of your neck.

"how can i? you're literally so adorable right now" you said unable to control yourself from smiling.

he lifted his face, blushing and all, an inch away from yours. "i admit my defeat okay, just stop teasing me."

"i wasn't—" you were unable to complete your sentence when he cuts you off with a long passionate kiss. you respond placing both of your hands on his neck and shifting to sit on his lap.

after a while, you separate from the kiss staring intently in each other's eyes. both breathless and profusely blushing.

"maybe this bet wasn't so bad after all." he whispered, dipping his head to kiss you again.

— end.

you carefully apply the face mask as he rests his head on your lap. he loves spending moments like these with you. spontaneous and simple. the kind that makes him feel very peaceful and grounded, yet insanely chaotic on the inside. its crazy how your presence is enough to make him feel these two polar opposite of emotions at the same time, it's becoming very addicting.

all these years, he's been so used to being the mature guy. the reliable son. the pillar for his members. the ideal idol for fans. and yet with you, he can freely speak his mind, like what he likes, and hate what he hates. all without feeling conscious. to him, you are the home that he has been dying to find.

"w-why are you looking at me l-like that?" you shyly asked when you noticed how intently he was staring at your face.

"hmm?" he hummed still staring at you.

"what are you thinking?" you managed to ask once again, this time with less stuttering.

"you, of course." he replied.

"ya!" you playfully punched his stomach once again. "do you seriously plan to give me a heart attack or something?"

"how could i, if i already had it mine? don't worry my love, your heart is safe with me." he replied with a charming smile scrunching the face mask a bit.

"not gonna lie, that one's reaaaally corny." you snorted.

"really? that worked on fansigns though." he replied, pouting a little bit.

you gasped a little. "so you've been recycling your pick up lines all this time?" you asked, acting offended.

that worked though, as you notice him look at you with apologetic eyes.

"darling, that's not what I meant..." he said as he shoot up. "no... i mean— aah, I shouldn't have said that, it was—"

you shut off his panicked state with a small peck in his lips. you know it was just a joke.

you know your boyfriend. he may be a little flirty with the fans but he's totally different around you— a little more real and honest.

and if he really did use those pick up lines on fansigns, it wouldn't matter. you understood the fact that there will always be a special place in his heart intended for MOAs. you understood how much he love his job, his members, and his fans. and you're more than happy to know that your boyfriend is receiving as much love as he is giving. he deserve it.

"you're not mad?" he asked softly, almost like a whisper.

"why would i be?" you asked staring intently at his eyes. you held that eye contact for few seconds, letting your hearts speak with each other.

it's this particular trait of yours that made him fall in love with you so deeply. the way you understand him even without having to explain himself.

"baby, are you crying?" you asked.

"you're so perfect, y/n. i love you so much." he replied as tears threaten to fall from his eyes.

it totally moved your heart. you would've cried then and there too if not because of the scrunched face mask that's all over his face.

"awww look at you." you said imitating his tone earlier while you reach out for his cheeks. "you know how much i love you too, right?"

— end.

"yah!" you replied acting offended.

"why? that's a compliment you know!" he playfully replied.

"whatever" you said as you roll your eyes which made him chuckle.

you can't help but admire his cuteness, to which you almost immediately repressed the thought. this man seating across you, jung heuning, is way out of your league.

he is popular with girls, and other guys admire him as well. the only reason why you became close was because he is a close friend of your cousin, soobin. more than his fallen angel slash greek god type visuals, it's his personality that made him more likeable.

he is very genuine and friendly. he knows he is very popular in school but he never allowed that to get into his head. instead, he used that opportunity to be friends with everyone. you also admire how simple and child-like he can get.

"what's the problem?" he asked breaking you off your train of thoughts.

"huh?"

"you just sighed. do you have a problem?" he asked with his eyes marked with concern.

its you. you are my problem. "i did?" you asked trying to act innocent.

"yeah. you seem... sad" he said without breaking eye contact.

that's another thing about him, he makes eye contact. when he is talking to you or whenever you are saying something, his eyes will never leave yours. it makes you feel acknowledged and special like you're the only person that exist in his world. but it also makes you feel extremely uncomfortable in the fear that his stares might bore through your thoughts.

"nah, i was running out of breath i guess." it took all your willpower to look away and find excuses to answer him.

"oh, is it because i'm in front of you? i don't blame you though." he teased airily. "i can just seat beside you if you like." he added, motioning to stand up.

you looked up at him only to be greeted by his smirking face.

"you know what? i regret thinking how down to earth you are, when you're actually a narcissistic—" you caught yourself midway realizing your mistake.

"ohhh, so you were thinking of me?" he asked smirking even more. "how sweet, y/n."

"yeah, i was thinking of ways to strangle you without getting jailed for attempted murder." that's probably the most honest thing you said.

you really want to strangle him for being too good to be true, and for the fact that you can't bring yourself to tell him how deep you have fallen for him.

"well, I think you'll get jailed anyway", he said after a brief moment of silence, "for taking my breath away everytime you smile".

— end.