#deffensive

Features: – Can process incoming and outgoing traffic – Can trigger block script if certain IP loads network with a large amount of packets per second – Can trigger block script if certain IP loads network with a large amount of bytes per second – Can trigger block script if certain IP loads network with a large amount of flows per second – netmap support (open source; wire speed processing; only Intel hardware NICs or any hypervisor VM type) – PF_RING ZC/DNA support (wire speed processing on tens of MPPS but needs license) ..etc

I constantly feel like I'm second rate to everyone. It doesnt matter where I am at school, at home, or just out. I am second rate to who ever comes into contact with me. There is one person that doesn't make me feel like they would chose someone else over me, but they are not here so it doesn't really matter. Why can't I matter to someone as much as others matter to me. It's a constant battle to make someone notice that I am there, and lately I can't see the point in the battle. I feel as if when summer comes along and school passes, everyone I know will forget about me and just move on. I have started to distance myself from people for that reason, I don't want to be hurt as much as I know I will be. I used to have a quote that I could relate to: "I hate this town. It's too filled with memories I'd rather forget. I go to school every day, hang out with my friends and then I go home. There's no place I'd rather not go ever again. I wonder if anything will ever change. Will that day ever come" But now I don't even like going to school. I don't have any real friends there, everything is turning out the way I knew it would. The way my dad said it would. "You will regret high school because you didn't do enough." I suck, I hate my life. In a constant cloud of sadness, regret, and guilt. 

It seriously puts me down and makes me feel shitty even though I know..or think I know...I'm not in the wrong here. Any input?