#deermessrs

Harry: No, but you’ll never find my gift because I haven’t made it yet

James: You’re gonna make me something, son? That’s so sweet…if you were three. Now that’s just cheap, so hit the mall, little man, and don’t come back here with a picture of you on a t-shirt. I know what you look like

Harry: *rolls eyes and walks away*

James: *climbs on a chair to look through the cabinet above the fridge and pulls out a nicely wrapped box*

James, to himself: Nice try, Regulus

James: *opens box and takes out a ceramic donkey*

James, reading note aloud: “Don’t be a jackass, wait for your birthday”

Regulus, walking into kitchen: Morning, honey. Nice ass

Title: Faultlines

Author: @deermessrs , @/deermessrs on ao3

Beta Reader: @whorerific , @/highly_impressionable on ao3

Artists: @ersatzdagger , @/ersatzdagger on ig, @/erxxdagger on ao3 (see above)

& @nightoftheldead , @/nightoftheldead on twitter (see below)

Let me tell you a ghost story.

It starts when James moves into a new apartment inhabited by the ghost of a sarcastic and French-speaking man with the grayest eyes he’s ever seen. The more time they spend together, the more James finds that he doesn’t mind being haunted that much.

Okay, maybe it’s a love story, after all.

Check it out on ao3!

Sirius: I knew when I was five

Regulus: Everybody knew when you were five. Come on, Harry is not gay, it’s probably just a phase—oh my god, did I just say that? Do not tell anyone I just said that

James: Harry, buddy, so Mom was telling us about something that you said, something about you being gay?

Harry: What about it?

Sirius: Okay, very aggressive, just saying

James: Well, we were just wondering, you know, why did you say that?

Harry: Because I’m gay. We’re learning about it in school. My friend Aldo’s parents are Italian, so he’s Italian. And you and Daddy and my moms are gay, so I’m gay!

All of them: OHHH

Mary: First of all, adorable. But that’s not how it works. When Aldo’s talking about him being Italian, he’s talking about his heritage

Regulus: Yeah, and that’s a totally different thing than being gay. See, heritage is something that you’re born with—oh my god, what’s wrong with me?

Harry: But I’m gay! I’m gay!

Regulus: Honey, no, you’re not gay. You’re just confused—seriously, what the hell is wrong with me? It’s like l—

*Lesbian couple walking by with a side eye*

Regulus, pointing at Lily and Mary: Oh, please. We have have tons of lesbian friends

James: He’s 20. He’s finding himself

Regulus: How hard can it be?

James: Well, what were you doing at 20?

Regulus: Me? I was getting a 4.0 in college. I was working 25 hours a week. I was volunteering at a suicide hotline—I mean, c’mon, Harry! Get off the couch! Do something with your life!

Sirius: Why wouldn’t it work out?

James: I don’t know…sometimes it doesn’t

Sirius: Is he not cute enough for you?

James: Wh—

Sirius: Does he not make enough money?

James: No, I’m just—

Remus: Maybe there’s someone else!

Sirius: Is there?! Is there someone else?

James: *stutters* No, there is—no!

Remus: *stares worriedly*

Sirius: I had always assumed that when you got serious about interior design, I was going to love your ideas—

Remus: *pinches the bridge of his nose*

Sirius: —because I love you. But I hate your ideas. I hate them almost as much as I love you, which is so much—

James: You called the police before you called me?

Regulus: I’m supposed to call you first when I find a dead body?

James: