i lied. i'm still here
WHAT GIVE SYOU THE RIGHT
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i lied. i'm still here
WHAT GIVE SYOU THE RIGHT

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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OK SO. Today we had a great convo on the server abt what hairstyles the dunmeshi cast would have if they were black and I really wanted to draw that and I also wanted to draw @3v3rl4stingbr4in s design of Marcille!!! Two birds with one stone
I have so much anger in me right now
“Well, if this secret has to come out, I might as well own it I guess... Hope you like it...”
I have broken the application seal
first job app is in

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
***** pesos i-
...
My brain needs to chill with latching on to something and then spinning it to such a skewed and quite untrue story. Like it just goes haywire.
My boyfriend asked me, "why does that matter?" When I brought up something that honestly, he was right, why does it bug me?
I have an idea why, I basically was trained to basically find the answers to some, not so great, people in my life and if I didn't then I wasn't useful.
Also my brain has a hard time not being... invasive? Or maybe... understanding boundaries is the better term? What to ask, what not to ask. I have had problems with that all my life and I honestly don't know why.
For sure it was jarring because when he said that, I asked myself, "no really, why?" It shouldn't but as mentioned above, I am dealing with how I am useful to people. And it shouldn't be a matter of how useful I am.
I am not a tool and honestly sometimes I don't know the answers and should really just take a step back and keep quiet. It is ok to not know the answers.
I had to be a 'friend' to my dad (when honestly I just needed a father) and the two main friends I had growing up knew I was bullied and alone and desperate for friends. So they used me as they saw fit and... it still fucks me up.
I'm allowed to not have the answers, and I am not friends with people because of my usefulness. I am friends with people because they enjoy my company. We mesh well together. Real friends don't see the other as a tool and... I am trying to unlearn that.
And you know what, some people might not like me, either just in general or not to the extent I want. And that is ok. If I push to hard then it will definitely be option 1.
Covid really threw me for a loop and made me have to deal with all my inner toxicity as well as make me realize just how mistreated I was and the damage it truly caused.
One day at a time right?
One day at a time...