Deeks drags himself out of his truck, his right foot catching on the floor mat. The last nine weeks, he’s been undercover for LAPD. Tonight, the operation finally came to a head and Deeks with the help of SWAT brought in an entire squad of criminals.
Instead of his usual roles, Deeks had played a broke store clerk turned informant for the gang. It meant he spent a lot of time working all hours of the night and doing grunt work. He’d also had to portray the kind of guy desperate enough to take such a crappy job, which translated to a closet of an apartment, a barely functioning car, and meager funds.
Deeks trips his way up to the front door, his stomach growling and a little lightheaded. After debriefing Bates, it’s nearly three in the morning. His clothes are dirty, he’s exhausted, and he’s starving, but the need to be home, to see Kensi, overrides everything else.
He opens the front door as quietly as he can, but finds Kensi sitting on the couch in a dim pool of light coming from a single lamp. She stands up before he’s fully inside.
“Deeks, oh my god,” Kensi exhales in relief, ushering him into her arms. At this point, it’s taking all his focus to stay upright so he lets her support him.
“I missed you,” he whispers into her neck.
“I did too.” Leaning back, but still keeping him close, Kensi cups his jaw with one hand and brushes his bangs back, eyeing him with concern. “Are you really ok? I hate that we couldn’t talk this whole time.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.” He blinks a couple times so he doesn’t fall asleep right there. “You didn’t have to stay up.”
“Like I could sleep after you called. It’s been over two months, Deeks,” she says, kissing him softly.
A wave of dizziness rocks through him and he sways against Kensi, he eyes closing for a few seconds.
“Oh baby, come here.” Taking his hand, Kensi leads him to the couch and gently pushes him down.
The second his body hits the cushions, Deeks groans in relief; it’s softer, and cleaner, than anything he’s slept on in weeks. He lets his head fall back and closes his eyes.
“Are you hungry?”
He shrugs in response, because now that he’s sitting down, eating sounds like a lot of work.
“I’ll be right back,” Kensi tells him. Deeks thinks she might add something else, but he doesn’t catch it.
“Kay.”
When Kensi comes back sometimes later, he’s fully asleep. He startles at Kensi gently nudging his shoulder. Fortunately, his reflexes are off enough that he doesn’t accidentally hit her.
“Hey, it’s ok.” She rests her hand on this middle of his back until his heart stops pounding. Then she wordlessly hands him a glass of water.
Deeks downs it in a few gulps. Kensi exchanges it for a second one, which he drinks more slowly. Already, he feels a little better and he finally notices the tray Kensi brought in with a random collection of food. He’s guessing she grabbed whatever happened to be around.
“Thanks,” he says belatedly.
Kensi curls up next to him while he slowly works his way through a bowl of tomato soup and half a grilled cheese. He stalls out a few bites into the sandwich; it’s more than he’s eaten in a while. Plus, with his stomach full, he’s ready to pass out again.
“You look really thin,” Kensi comments. She traces the line of his jaw and then his sides. “What happened out there?”
“Dean wasn’t exactly rolling in money. Most days I lived off of stuff that was about to expire. As long as my temporary boss wasn’t looking.” He’s definitely lost some weight between the lack of food and the relatively active role of snitch.
“Oh my god.”
“Eh. It could’ve been worse,” he says. He chuckles. “Sam’s gonna have a field day.”
Not if I have anything to say about it,” Kensi says tersely. Her protectiveness makes him smile. “Are you sure you don’t want something else? I could make some eggs or get you some ice cream.”
“I want to, but I think I just need to sleep,” Deeks decides.
“Ok.” Kensi smiles, her eyes suddenly wet with unshed tears. This time, Deeks pulls her to his chest. “I love you,” she murmurs, tipping her chin up for another kiss.
They linger until Deeks’ eyes start to drift closed again. “Love you too,” he mumbles.
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Inspired by a recent rewatch of 13x4 with mashmaiden. We both agree the episode is missing a scene with Kensi worrying over a wounded Deeks.
***
A Weird Day
Deeks sat on the edge of the bed, Kensi positioned diagonally to him their knees brushing. They’d gotten home about an hour ago and eaten a quick dinner before Kensi insisted on examining his knife wound. It burned persistently, but wasn’t that bad all things considered.
“The EMTs already checked it out,” he pointed out, though he didn’t make any attempt to stop Kensi. He was tired, and her fingers gently moving over his arm felt pretty soothing.
“Yeah, and they did a shoddy job,” Kensi said disapprovingly. She pointed to the swath of bandages wrapped around his wrist. “It’s already bleeding through.”
Twisting his hand, he saw there was a quarter sized spot of blood soaking through the material. “Huh, didn’t notice that.”
“Probably because Kilbride decided to put you right back to work.” Based on Kensi tone, Kilbride was lucky to be far away. Shaking her head, Kensi grabbed their well-stocked first aid kit and removed gauze, bandages, and liquid bandage along with antiseptic wipes. “He should have sent one of us to question Miriam Sivac again.”
“Well.” Deeks scooted back on the bed with a slight wince. “I had an established rapport—or weird flirtation—with her.” He grimaced at the memory of his conversations with Miriam. Flirting as a part of the job was nothing new to him, but it rarely felt good. Especially with someone as heartless as Miriam Sivac.
Kensi had started to unwind the old bandages, and looked up with a question in her eyes. “What exactly did she say to you?” she wondered.
“Uh, she confused me for her pool boy slash gigolo, asked me to take care of a squirrel she possibly killed, possibly made multiple passes at me, and a lot of pretty despicable things about her family,” he drawled. When he finished, he heaved a sigh of mental and physical exhaustion.
“I’m sorry you had to deal with that.” Kensi made a face, pausing to caress the back of his hand then continued unwinding the last of the gauze.
“We both had a lot worse.”
“Still, it doesn’t make it feel any better,” she said. “If I was there, I would have glared at her for you.”
“Actually, she might have enjoyed that,” Deeks said wont a soft chuckle. “I think she enjoys drama.” He glanced at his newly revealed wound. It was still oozing some and while the edges of the cut were fairly clean, they looked a little inflamed.
“We’ll have to keep an eye on that.” Lifting his arm to eye level, Kensi smoothed her fingers over the skin around the wound without actually touching it. “You scared me today. When I heard the fight and then I didn’t see you, I thought the worst,” she said, speaking calmly, but Deeks heard the emotion underneath. “I almost dropped everything to go after you.”
“I’m sorry I worried you,” he sighed. “I didn’t have time to explain my plan. If you can call it that.”
“You did the right thing. I was just relieved when you popped up in that hearse.” She swallowed heavily and quickly bandaged his arm, pressing her lips to the surface when she was done.
“Come here.” Deeks held out his arms, pulling Kensi against his chest as she curled up on him. “Let’s agree to no more funerals. Or fish.”
Kensi laughed unevenly and nuzzled his cheek. “I can get on board for that.”
“Well that’s a question I think we’d like you to answer,” Bill said kindly. “Is there a reason you and Marty were poking around here earlier?”
Kensi chose her next words carefully. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about. We stopped by to see if you were home.”
“I think we both know you did a little more than that,” Bill said. “Mighta seen some things we didn’t mean for you to see.”
“Bill, I’m not sure what you think is going on here, but let’s go back outside and see if we can sort it out.”
“Works for me. Carol’ll want to hear this I’m sure.”
Kensi moved carefully past him and walked to the front of the RV. When she stepped outside she found Carol still sitting at the picnic table with Deeks. But Deeks had his head on the table and seemed off. “Babe? You okay?” Kensi asked loudly, careful not to make any sudden movements.
“He’s a little sleepy dear,” Carol said. “I think that port really did him in!”
“Okay, what’s going on here?” Kensi asked, worry spiraling through her. Deeks owned a bar, the man could definitely hold his liquor and one glass of port shouldn’t have him face first in his desert.
“Remember how we told you that you have to keep things fun as you get older?” Bill said. “Well Carol and I started this road trip and thought we needed a little action. Something to spice it up.”
“So you committed a robbery,” Kensi said.
“Well just a tiny one,” Carol said. “But it was so easy. So we went bigger.”
Kensi was trying to listen while also keeping her eyes on Deeks. He was stirring but seemed lethargic. “Did you drug my husband?” she asked incredulously.
“Just a little bit,” Carol said, patting him gently on the back. “If you’d just drunk yours like you were supposed to we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.”
“You were going to drug us and then drive away,” Kensi said. “Deeks was right.”
“See, I told you they were getting suspicious,” Bill said.
“You called it dear,” Carol said with a sigh. “I should have listened to you.”
“And I should have listened to Deeks,” Kensi muttered.
“Kens?” Deeks slurred, lifting his head a bit.
“I’m here babe. You okay?”
“I….think ‘m drgged,” he said, eyes glassy and unfocused.
“Yeah you are,” Kensi said. “Just take some deep breaths okay?”
Deeks squinted up. “Dss he havea gn?”
“Yes, he does,” Kensi said. “So we’re just going to behave and not cause any problems, all right?”
“He prbly cn’ evn use it,” Deeks mumbled.
“Hey, I am the reigning, three time rifle champion of Sheboygan!” Bill said indignantly.
“Of course you are,” Kensi said with a sigh of long suffering.
“Well, now that plan A is all used up, we need to move onto plan B,” Carol said. “I think a little walk is in order. Take in some of that fresh mountain air!”
It was past dusk and most people had retreated indoors for the evening. The few that were out were laughing and chatting and took no notice of the strange parade walking by them. Not that Kensi would have asked for help anyway. There were weapons involved now and she wasn’t interested in getting any civilians shot.
She held Deeks up as they walked, stumbling along over the rocky terrain. He seemed to be all right, if uncoordinated and a little confused. “Wre we gng?” he asked repeatedly.
“Just for a little walk dearie,” Carol said every time, patiently, as if she were talking to a five year old.
“How did you get past the security cameras?” Kensi asked.
“Oh we just bypassed the feed and spliced in a loop of footage,” Bill said.
“It’s so easy, our grandson taught us. He’s nine, very bright boy,” Carol said fondly.
“Got a little trickier when it was closed circuit but we figured it out,” Bill said. He’d traded his rifle for a slightly more inconspicuous pistol, another reason no passerby had noticed something off.
“So what’s the plan here?” Kensi asked as they moved further out into the plains. “Shoot us and leave us for dead?”
“Darling don’t be gauche!” Carol said, horrified. “No, we’re going to tie you up. Someone will come along eventually.”
“f we don’t get etn by wlvs first,” Deeks said, coming around enough to be present in the conversation.
“No wolves in this part of the country,” Bill grunted. “Coyotes’ll get you though.”
They walked for several miles before Bill made them stop. And of course he knew how to tie knots like a boy scout. “There,” he said after he tightened the last one around Kensi’s wrists. “That oughta do nicely.”
Kensi sent him a pointed glare as Deeks’ head lolled against her shoulder. “Now, you two sit tight,” Carol said sweetly. “You’ll be found by morning.”
“And we’ll be long gone. It really was a pleasure meeting you,” Bill said.
“It was nt ours,” Deeks said, rolling his eyes up into what he apparently thought was an angry scowl but looked more like a fish face.
“No more vacations,” Kensi said, when Bill and Carol were out of earshot. “None. No road trips, no cruises, no flights. Nothing. Home. A dark room. No visitors.”
She worked furiously at the knot in her hands. “Deeks, hey, come on. I need you to wake up and help me here.”
“m wake,” Deeks said, hefting himself off her shoulder.
“The knife in my boot. I need you to get it.”
His current lack of coordination and awareness made things tricky. He ended up with his head in her lap, sliding down along her legs until his hands found her boot. It took several minutes and a lot of awkward maneuvering to retrieve the knife and then another several minutes before he was able to get it into Kensi’s hands.
In no time she had them free and then went to work on her ankles before moving onto Deeks’ bindings. “This was not the kind of tying up I had in mind on this vacation,” Deeks grumbled as she split apart his ankles.
“Now’s not really the time babe. Can you stand?”
“Everything’s a little wobbly,” he said.
She cupped his face and tried to see into his eyes but it was too dark, even with the full moon out. “Well your speech sounds better. Come on. We’ve got a long walk back. And the Weekes’ have at least a forty minute head start.”
She didn’t mention that it would have been a significantly shorter walk if he’d been less drugged. She pulled him to his feet, sliding an arm under his shoulder to help him balance, and off they went, stumbling through the darkness in the direction of what Kensi thought was the campsite.
It was nearing on two in the morning now and they were still nowhere near their destination, when Deeks froze, causing her to stumble. “Deeks, what—“
He dropped to his knees and puked. “Oh god,” he gasped, wiping his mouth. “I hate being roofied.”
“Yeah, I don’t blame you,” Kensi said, putting a hand on his back. “You good or is there more?”
“Help me up,” he said as she hauled him to his feet once again. “Wait.”
They both froze. “What?” Kensi asked.
“I thought I heard something,” Deeks said, squinting to try and see in the moonlight.
Then they both heard it. Hoofbeats. Coming fast. “Is that—“
“Buffalo!” Deeks yelled.
There was an outcropping of rocks silhouetted up ahead and they ran for it, hoofbeats still pounding behind them.
They made it to the outcropping just in time, collapsing against the stones, breathless. “Oh god,” Kensi gasped. “I didn’t know buffalo could run that fast.”
“Neither did we.”
Kensi and Deeks both jumped as they realized that they had once again been reunited with their road trip pals turned hostage takers. And they both looked a little worse for wear.
Carol’s hair was a mess and her knees looked like she’d taken a tumble. Bill was bleeding badly from a wound in his arm. “How did you get free?” Bill asked. “I made those knots tighter than a footballer’s shoelaces.”
“I’m a federal agent,” Kensi said. “And he’s an LAPD detective.”
“No kidding!” Bill said with a chuckle. “Well how ‘bout that Carol. We got the best of an FBI agent and a police officer.”
“I’m not FB—-never mind,” Kensi said with a roll of her eyes. “Let me see your arm.”
“We were just walking back and they came out of nowhere,” Carol said. “I wanted to get a picture of them with my iPhone but it was so dark so we got closer and they just came charging right at us!”
“Yeah well, buffalo don’t really like other people,” Deeks said.
“This looks really bad,” Kensi said. “I think you hit an artery.”
“What does that mean?” Bill asked.
“It means you’re going to die if we don’t get you some help fast,” Deeks said.
“Well how are we going to do that?” Carol asked worriedly.
“We have a lot of connections,” Kensi said, looking meaningfully at Deeks. “If you give us your cellphone AND the pistol, we can probably help.”
“Well what if we just call 911?” Bill asked.
“They might show up in time, they might not,” Deeks said. “Up to you. You might only lose the arm.”
“Lose my arm?!” Bill cried. “This is my shooting arm!”
“Like we said, it’s up to you,” Kensi said. “Phone. Gun. Or no deal.”
“Bill give them the gun!” Carol said. “Here.” She handed Kensi her phone. “Please you have to help him.”
“Gun,” Kensi said, holding out her other hand.
“Take care of her,” Bill said. “That’s my best pistol right there.”
“Yeah, I’m sure it is,” Kensi said with a roll of her eyes, handing it to Deeks who immediately emptied the chamber and flung the bullets as far as he could.
Kensi ripped off a portion of the bottom of her shirt and used it to tie up the wound while Deeks dialed. “Reggie, hey, it’s Deeks. I need a helicopter.”
It was less than twenty minutes before a chopper swooped down and landed in the middle of the plains, scaring the buffalo away and allowing Kensi, Deeks, and the Weekes’ to escape from their rocky prison. Two EMT’s jumped out and hustled toward them. “Please help my husband,” Carol said worriedly. “He’s bleeding out.”
They peeled back Kensi’s makeshift bandage and frowned. “Looks like the bleeding’s stopped. Might need a couple stitches, but your husband will be fine ma’am.”
“I will?” Bill asked, turning to look at Kensi. “But you said—“
Kensi shrugged. “You took us hostage. What did you expect?”
“Now wait just a minute!” Carol said, looking irate as an officer cuffed her.
“No thanks,” Deeks said leaning heavily against Kensi.
“Hey, I do need you to take a look at my husband,” Kensi said to the second EMT. “They drugged him with something.”
“Oh it was just a little Benadryl,” Carol called. “Nothing dangerous.”
“I thought that port tasted awfully sweet,” Deeks said, swaying a bit.
“Even so, Benadryl and alcohol don’t mix. We need to get you checked out,” the EMT said.
It was not a fun helicopter ride. Bill and Carol chattered away the entire time, as if they weren’t about to be arrested for grand larceny and kidnapping. Deeks had rallied enviably toward the end of their walk but now he slumped against the seat, eyes closed, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.
Things got fractionally better when they arrived at the hospital. Bill and Carol were taken away, cuffed, into police custody, but that was where the relief ended. The police wanted statements from both Kensi and Deeks, not once, not twice, but three separate times and no amount of pointing out that they worked for NCIS was going to shake the local PD who were having the most exciting night of their lives in about ten years.
They did give Deeks a look over at the hospital and decided at this point it was best to just let things run their course. He was still a little confused and a lot tired by the time local PD drove them back to the RV park.
“I want a shower,” Kensi said as she got out of the car and pulled Deeks with her.
“I want a nap,” he said as she unlocked the door.
“And where have you two been?” someone asked.
“Oh god!” Kensi yelled, clutching a hand to her chest as she realized there were people sitting at their table.
Eric and Nell were looking at them in a very parental fashion.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Deeks asked.
“Um, you two were obviously in trouble so we borrowed an old Airstream from my parents,” Nell said. “We got in about an hour ago. You want to tell us about the little adventure you clearly just had?”
Deeks and Kensi exchanged a look. “Let’s just say it involved a herd of bison, a demon dog, and a drugging incident,” Kensi said.
“You were drugged?!” Eric asked.
“Oh my god are you okay?” Nell added.
“Not me,” Kensi said.
Eric shook his head wide eyed. “Callen and Sam aren’t going to like that.”
“Well Callen and Sam don’t have to know,” Kensi said. “That’s why we called you Eric.”
Eric and Nell exchanged a slightly guilty look. “What?” Deeks asked. “You told them already?”
The RV door opened behind them and voices trickled in. “It will be fine. There’s plenty of space for both of us.”
“Have you seen yourself? You’re the size of a small building. There’s no way we can both fit in that tent.”
“You brought them with you?!” Kensi asked.
“Brought is a strong word,” Eric said. “Followed a direct order is more accurate.”
What had initially seemed like a spacious RV now seemed suffocatingly small. “Hey you’re back!” Callen said as he and Sam came inside. “Everything okay?”
“It is now,” Deeks said, running a hand through his hair. “What are you all doing here?”
“We’re making sure you’re all right,” Sam said. “Did you think we wouldn’t find out about that emergency call you made last night?”
“But the call wasn’t to you,” Kensi said in exasperation.
“We still found out,” Callen said.
“I have alerts set for everyone,” Eric said, as if it should have been extremely obvious.
“Well we don’t need you, everything is under control,” Deeks said.
“Doesn’t matter,” Sam said. “We’re staying.”
“Not in here you’re not,” Kensi told them.
“Oh no, of course not,” Nell said quickly. “No Eric and I will be in the Airstream.”
“And Sam and I are camping,” Callen said. “In a tent. The size of matchbox.”
“That tent has plenty of space!” Sam growled.
“Okay then, if you all don’t mind, we’d like to take a nap since we’ve been up all night,” Deeks said.
“Oh, sure of course, go right ahead,” Eric said.
Nobody left. Callen and Sam immediately dissolved into an argument about whether they were going fishing or hiking first, as Kensi and Deeks slowly made their way to the bed at the back of the RV. “I’m telling you, it doesn’t compare to the ocean,” Sam protested.
“How would you know?” Callen fired back. “Have you ever tried it? Not everything has to be a deep sea, Navy SEAL diving adventure you know.”
“I think we should hit up Glacier Point,” Nell said, studying the map Deeks had left on the table. “Ooh but the Cathedral Rocks look great too.”
“Is anybody getting a good signal out here?” Eric held his phone up high, forehead wrinkled in frustration.
Deeks looked wryly at Kensi. “Is this what it’s going to be like to have kids?”
“Probably.” She shook her head. “But when they’re actually our kids, we leave them at home with a babysitter.”
Hello my friend! Do you happen to have any favorite Deeks whump fics you could rec me?
Ooooh, @the-wandering-whumper asking the tough questions! Tough as in making me narrow it down! Okay, going thru my list of fics on Pocket that I had tagged whump (some many be more Hurt/Comfort or aftercare based as that's my whumpy trope of choice). Also, I have no idea how to tag this content so just know that there could be any level of whump in any of these fics, from emotional angst/PTSD to general illness to full on torture. (If you/anyone need further clarification on a specific fic, please ask)
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11516072/1/The-Walls-Have-Ears by @ejzah
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13495189/1/Kiss-the-Demons-Out-of-My-Dreams by @anonkp
Gonna end with Ghost by the amazing @bluenet13 cuz I know I sent her some @trope-appreciation-tuesdays posts for inspiration while it was being written - so that brings this back around full circle. 😜
This list is not at all everything and not in any order, but hopefully everyone else can chime in with their faves as well (HEY EVERYONE, CHIME IN WITH YOUR FAVES!)
Prompt: Can you write a fanfic of what would've happened if Deeks died in the season 4/season 5 premiere from the torture he sustained and everybody would be left grief stricken. Kensi would be heartbroken, Sam would be guilt-ridden for doubting him and Callen's guilt over being indirectly responsible.
***
You Cried For Help and I Walked Away, Part 3
Kensi only left Deeks’ room long enough to update Callen and Granger. She could tell neither man was pleased with her continued absence, and Hetty gently suggested that she come back so Deeks could rest. Kensi had firmly declined, ignoring the quiet voice in her head that warned of impending repercussions; she could get another job if she needed to.
As she walked towards Deeks room, she saw Sam walking out. Last she’d seen him, he’d been hooked up to several machines. Now, he looked remarkably like himself for what he’d been through. Though Kensi would bet the doctors weren’t too pleased he was up and around already.
“How is he?” she asked when she was a few feet away, and Sam jerked slightly. That told her more about his current state than anything else.
“Oh, he’s sleeping,” Sam answered with a tight smile. “I’ll try again later.” He exhaled slowly and walked over to the bench a few rooms down and sat with an obvious wince. “Sidorov really put him through it, didn’t he?”
“Yeah, he did. Both of you.” She sat next to him, letting herself relax for just a moment.
“I feel lucky in comparison.” Shaking his head in apparent dismay, he asked, “What was the damage?”
“Several broken teeth, dislocated jaw, fractured cheek bone, and broken nose,” Kensi listed off, keeping her report slightly robotic so she didn’t break down. “He has preliminary reconstructive surgery, but he’ll need more.”
“God. I don’t know how he took all of it. I didn’t think he could.”
Kensi glanced up in surprise. “Why? Deeks has never once let any of us down. He’s always had our backs.”
“You’re right,” Sam admitted with a soft, self-deprecating chuckle. “This whole time, in the back of my mind, I’ve been waiting for him to slip up and prove my feelings about him our true. I owe him an apology and a whole lot of gratitude.”
Kensi resisted the strong urge to make a biting comment or two. Sam had spoken up for Deeks back in the emergency room and clearly felt guilty now. He didn’t need her to reprimand him.
“Well, now you’ll get the chance to tell him. And knowing Deeks, he’ll forgive you,” she said, reaching over to squeeze Sam’s shoulder.
***
Kensi’s plans to spend the rest of the afternoon with Deeks were interrupted with a flurry of texts and calls that had her ducking in and out. After the third time, Deeks had woken up when she slipped back into his room.
Her momentary relief was immediately dampened by his distant expression.
“Deeks,” she said quietly, but he still jerked and inhaled sharply as if he hadn’t noticed her before that.
“Hey. I thought you left.”
“No, I plan to stay as long as I can.”
“That’s not necessary, Kens,” he protested softly, looking towards the window as he spoke. He gestured to her phone while keeping his head lowered, hair flopping into his eyes. “They want you to come in, right. What’s the plan?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Kensi insisted. “Because I’m not going yet.”
“C’mon Kens, tell me what’s going on. It’ll be a good distraction.” He finally looked up, his expression pleading. “I gotta know that Michelle makes it through this.”
Kensi couldn’t deny him that. “We think Sidorov is trying to distract and pull us in too many directions so he can escape. I’m supposed to join them soon. Hetty asked if you could help. Of course I told her—”
“I’ll do it,” Deeks interrupted.
“You don’t have to.”
“I know. But Sidorov tried to break me. I deserve the chance to help take him down. Who knows, it might be my last official act with NCIS.” He gave her a sad, barely there smile. “Will you help me get dressed.”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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A/N: Prompt: Can you write a fanfic of what would've happened if Deeks died in the season 4/season 5 premiere from the torture he sustained and everybody would be left grief stricken. Kensi would be heartbroken, Sam would be guilt-ridden for doubting him and Callen's guilt over being indirectly responsible.
***
You Cried For Help and I Walked Away, Part 2
Shortly after Granger left, Deeks was taken back to prep for oral surgery and Sam for further testing. Kensi’s stomach sank as Deeks disappeared behind the swinging doors, afraid it might be the last time she saw him.
It was several hours before a nurse came back out to tell Kensi Deeks’ surgery had gone well. Sam was stable and his own room, with orders to stay put since apparently he’d already tried to break out. Kensi followed the nurse to Deeks’ room, scared by how still and pale he looked in the bed.
She pulled up a chair, adjusting the blanket over Deeks so it covered his chest and shoulders, and settled in to wait.
***
Kensi stared at the latest text Callen had sent her, updating on Michelle and Sidorov. Just the sight of his name made her angry. She wanted nothing more than to hunt him down and make him feel every bit of pain and torture he’d put Sam and Deeks through. She’d bed Sidorov wouldn’t be so calm and smug anymore.
A pained groan interrupted her dark thoughts, and she dropped her phone to the side, moving closer to Deeks’ side. He hadn’t opened his eyes yet, but based on the tightness around his lips and eyebrows, he was about to wake up.
“It’s ok. You’re ok, Deeks,” Kensi said softly, brushing her fingers through his hair. She didn’t know if it was the right choice, but she couldn’t just sit by doing nothing. Some of the tension eased eventually and he slowly blinked, his eyes glazed and unfocused. “Hey.”
He eventually focused on her, a tinge o relief in his eyes. “Hey,” he murmured. His lips were swollen, cracked, and bruised, and the rest of his face looked even worse. Someone had clearly attempted to clean him up, but remnants of dried blood still crusted around his mouth and nose. He licked his lips, wincing and then swallowing heavily. “What—what happened?”
“Um, you had surgery to fix your teeth and jaw,” Kensi explained carefully.
Deeks squeezes his eyes shut, drawing in several slow and shaking breaths. When he opened his eyes again, they had a haunted, distant quality.
“Sidorov,” he breathed.
“Yeah.” Sniffing, Kensi forced herself to stay composed. Deeks needed her calm and present, not adding to his distress. “They said it went well. You might need some follow up procedures after you heal some.”
Deeks shuddered and shook his head minutely. “God, no.” He clenched his jaw, and she wondered if he remembered what happened with the ER doctor.
“Ok,” she said, ready to agree to anything if it would help him relax. “You don’t have to.” She started to card her fingers through his hair again and eventually the tension in his jaw released.
“How’s Sam?” he asked after a few minutes. The words were noticeably more slurred, his lips barely parted.
“He’s doing ok too. It’s not great, but not as bad they were anticipating,” she answered. Deeks nodded minutely, eyes slipping closed again.
“You should be with Michelle.”
“I’m needed here,” Kensi said simply. Deeks started to protest, but she closed her other hands over his. “I’ll go if I really need to. You can rest. I’ll watch over you.”
***
A/N: Yes, I’m planning to make this as angsty as possible.
Deeks stared at the wall, eyes half-closed. Thanks to the heavy dose of medication a nurse gave him a couple hours ago, the monitors tracking his heart rate, blood pressure, and oxygen were a blurred mess. Unfortunately, nothing could fully cut through the pain of his obliterated molars and gums. Which meant he hadn’t slept for more than a few minutes at a time.
When he did manage to fall asleep, Sidorov laughing over him, the shrill whining of a drill in his mouth, and Sam’s screams haunted him. The surgeon he’d talked with had mentioned significant oral reconstruction and possible plastic surgery. Just the thought of having someone working in his mouth made his chest tighten.
Deeks clenched his jaw, focusing on the pain of his broken teeth touching. He inhaled sharply, forcing himself to maintain the pressure until he could breathe again. His heart rate had just started to slow when the hospital room door opened. He sat up, instantly on defensive mode until he saw it was Kensi.
“Hey.” She hovered half in and out before deciding to come in all the way.
The way her eyes roved over him made Deeks wonder just how bad he looked. Someone had cleaned up most of the blood, but he still couldn’t be pretty right now.
“Kensi. Hey. What—what are you doing here?” he managed, brushing his fingers through his hair. Just like with Sam, he felt exposed. “I thought you were watching Michelle’s back.”
“Sidorov has her,” Kensi said softly.
“What does that mean?” The mention of Sidorov turned his stomach.
“I don’t know how, but he knows Michelle’s a spy. We think he’s trying to leave the country with her.”
“Oh my god.”
“Yeah. He’s throwing out a bunch of distraction, but we think we know where he’s leaving from.” Kensi inhaled quickly. “I know this is a terrible thing to ask, but we need your help. We don’t have enough people on the ground to cover everywhere and—”
“I’ll do it,” Deeks said, cutting her off. “What do you need me to do?”
Kensi exhaled in obvious relief, and set the duffel bag on her arm down, pulling out a set of clothes he recognized from his own go-bag. While she got everything out, she rattled off the plan—which seemed to rely heavily on everything falling exactly into place and Deeks’ aim.
That should probably worry him more than it did. Instead, it gave him something to focus on.
Deeks pulled the oximeter off his finger and detached the rest of medical equipment, ignoring the immediate shrieking of the various machines. As he shifted off the bed, the room shifted around him. Deeks caught himself on the edge of the bed. A couple shakes of his head took care of most of the dizziness.
“Deeks, are you ok?” Kensi started towards him, but he waved her off, forcing himself upright.
If Kensi touched him, he didn’t think he could hold it together long enough to help Sam and Michelle.
“I’m good.”
Pausing with her arms full of his clothes, Kensi stared at him with so much concern he had to look away. She headed towards him again, stopping a few feet short. She didn’t seem to know what to do with her hands, alternating between squeezing his rolled up shirt and biting at her thumbnail.
“You don’t have to do this. If you’re not ready, we can figure something else out,” she said. “After everything you’ve—you don’t need to push yourself.”
“I’m fine, Kensi,” he told her more firmly. Every words hurt and his jaw was one fire, but he could do this. He didn’t know what he’d do after that, but he wouldn’t let Sidorov hurt anyone else. “Give me five minutes and I’ll be ready.”
Kensi still didn’t look convinced, but she didn’t say anything else. She handed over the clothes and left him to pull himself together.
