#dedicantpath

I have decided that to keep my sanity, that i will want to finish the DP by the time I go back to school. Which is in August.. I am almost done with a lot of it, but I still havent read 2 of the required books. I’m half way done with History of Pagan Europe, and I do enjoy the history of it, its just very dense. I find I can only read 10-20 pages at a time before my brain is just mush. *eye roll* 

I am very thankful that now i have a lot more energy, because of my arthritis shot/meds. It’s been wonderful and im able to sit and type with out my hands feeling like they have been smacked with hammers. 

I have been thinking alot about using some of this energy on making a proto-grove, but at the same time my luck with trying to do any pagan gatherings is not so good. Its not like i dont have experience planning, and organizing events. It just feels the pagans/wiccans in my town just dont want to network or get out of their comfort zones. Most of the time its very frustrating. Maybe with the name of an organization behind the meet up it would give more people confidence? Who knows. Another hang up, is if I do move for school, what will happen? I think Husband and I are the only ADF members here, and there is only like 5 of us in the state. lol Ill see. 

I have been doing much better with meditation. I had a self imposed rule that I would need to meditate for a certain amount of time, (20) minutes or it wont count. But I am forcing my stupid brain to calm down and now I do mini-meditations every day. Just stopping, and feeling the energy and the relaxing. It has been so enjoyable and I am not stressed out about it. I also printed out a short devotional to do every week, which i like but might re-write to be more me. 

Once I get the final drafts of my essays done, ill post the long versions of what I wrote. I am incapable of writing anything short and sweet, as you can see from this post and the last ones. I am not good at focusing on one facet of stone, i want to look at it all. 

As for homework, I am a week ahead. I have the first 5 virtue essays done, so i just am typing them up (I use a journal most of the time, its easier on my wrists). So, I did that and the second part of the Nature awareness. Surprisingly, I knew a lot of how my city manages waste and recycling. Recycling is laughable but wastewater is dealt with wonderfully. Montana has a pretty good record of keeping the natural beauty intact. No thanks to you Ryan Zinke. 

I have been doing my weekly studies but until today, my hands hurt too bad to type. 

Wednesday, while volunteering, i got to sit in on a spiritual wellness support group. I was worried at first since it was going to be christian based but I ended up having a wonderful time talking theology and myth with the group and discussing what spiritual health means. 

As with most things in my life, the tarot cards and my thoughts from the homework seemed to reflect what we talked about in the group. Which was moderation, and that I need to prioritize my time. Mainly, with social media. I dont spend as much time doing what I love. I know part of this is because some days, even getting dressed is hard, because of pain, fatigue or anxiety/depression, that Facebook is an easy way to disassociate from what is happening. But so is audio-books, documentaries, or music. 

This got me thinking about the dedicant oath, and how in order to really fulfill that, I need moderation. So to make more time to meditate, read History of Pagan Europe and do the necessary homework. That first step is to completely cut out facebook for the month of March, because at this point its a habit and not one that I enjoy.