Im trying desperately to worm my way into an F3 with Mist and TQ because their third was Sherry but she made sure that wasn't happening. I feel bad about leaving Sherry in the wind but I know im not winning so I just want to try to make it as far as possible. I told Mist and TQ that is they let me survive to f5 ill do whatever they want, they can count me as their third vote to have majority. I hope it works and if this Sherry Mist feud is fake im gonna be so mad.

Third confessional this round whoops. SO whats happening is basically Sherry came to me and told me that Richie is trying to take TQ out, they want to tie it with RIchie THomas and Sherry voting TQ and me Mist and TQ voting Sherry but Im trying to get Mist and TQ to vote Richie and Sherry said she would vote with us. Mist doesnt want to vote with SHerry bc of the personal attacks which i get but Im trying to get Mist to see that RIchie could absolutely go on an immunity run and if he makes it to the end he is winning. USGzdhfghg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWeZuSByHlg

Last night was a whirlwind of a time. Mist was removed from the game and entire comp got scrapped and we skipped the end of the round. I was a little sad last night because I was losing my right hand in the game and everyone in the final five knows it. But today I have some clarity brought on from sleep and I'm thinking this could still be very good with me. Without Mist, someone who played a game very similarly to mine is now gone, making me unique. I'm the last person in the game who has always been in the know enough to always always always find himself on the right side of the vote. And if I do make it to the end of this game, I can take complete credit for all the moves me and Mist made together since the only person who would know I was lying isn't here. This all means I have to get to the end, though. I know for sure I don't want to be sitting in a final three with Sherry or Richie. Even more so than I don't want to be at the end of the game Abbey. So early this morning, I tried to solidify something between me, Abbey, and Thomas. They're telling me they're good for it and this thing should be us all the way to the end, and I want to trust them but I can't. Not fully. I don't think I'm the biggest target in this game right now but I can't be sure that some people aren't trying to make it seem like I am. I feel like if I make it to the end then I have a really good shot at winning this game and people know that, but if anyone thinks that just because Mist is gone that now it'll be easy to take me out too then they better think goddamn twice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMGN-wI6Anc

For most of this game, I've been in the know. Either my intuition or direct knowledge from people I trusted in this game kept me informed about everything. And I've never been on the wrong side of the vote. E v e r. If it wasn't the person that I specifically wanted to go home that round, like Ricky, Eddie, Zach or Sid, then it was just someone I really didn't care for in this game. But at least I knew what was going on. Now here I am at final five and I have absolutely no idea what's about to happen tonight. Maybe I've found a truly loyal threesome in Abbey and Thomas and if tonight plays out the way we've planned it to then I'll finally believe that. But I worry about Sherry/Abbey, I worry about Thomas/Sherry, and I worry about Richie/Thomas. These were pairs that existed earlier in this game and right now I'm the odd one out. Hopefully, other people (aka Sherry and Richie) have made bigger targets out of themselves and I'm safe next tribal council. But I wouldn't be surprised if I was the next jury member.

SO TQ, Thomas and I are in the f4. We managed to get Sherry out and we shook RIchie to his core. Now all we have to do is make sure one of us wins final (hopeully) immunity and take Richie out. Nobody has an idol so we could have taken him out this round but oh well win some u lose some. I cant believe I made it to f4 im honestly so shocked. I wouldnt be here without Sid so tbh im doing this for him, and for Zach my robbed son.

So the final immunity is holding shit over ur head. I literally swing a boom for a living sooooo i dont wanna jinx it but this challenge was made for me. I'm still gonne flop anyway but i have hope. I need richie to lose, if anyone but him wins im going to final 3 and honestly i dont even wanna think about it im too stressed

Well, I made it through last tribal council which means I think I'm going to the finale. No matter what happens, I think the person to go after our final immunity challenge won't be me. I didn't expect to make it this far in the game. Like, I'm not surprised by it, but I also didn't expect it. Now that FTC is right there and I can almost taste it I know that the only way I have a fair shot at winning this game is if I cut Abbey. When I thought it would be a F2, I wanted to get rid of Richie next, then me and Thomas would take each other to the end. Now that I know it's F3, Abbey has to go. She's got too many friends on jury who would vote for her even though my game is literally the best of this season (don't @ me). I'll take my chances with Thomas and Richie beside me instead. All I need is for SOMEONE to outlast here in this comp. I've already told Richie and Thomas what needs to happen and so now we just need Abbey to keep her losing streak up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU1YZUVdc4Q

Tbh I want Abbey out this round cause i think she's gonna win no matter who she's in finals with. If she wins immunity then....welp. Oh well getting richie out was the 2nd best thing. Plus, me, abbey and tq and a final 3 deal so its cool we made it here. We cute af

Welp, I made it here to FTC. It's not my ideal scenario, having Abbey beside me at the end, but I'm confident in the game I've played and so I just have to state my case and hope the jurors vote with their heads and choose the best gameplayer.

SO. I guess...that happened. Oof. Eddie's gone, and I feel bad about it. Kinda. I know Eddie had his hands in everyone's cookie jar, but it was still sad to see him go. Zach, Richie and Eddie were on the bottom of that vote. Let me tell you some things. 1. Richie is one of the best players I've seen in a long time. I need to take him out sooner rather than later. Hopefully, during this upcoming round. 2. I don't trust Zach as far as I can throw him. He's a witch, blowing smoke and casting hexes on everyone. Someone ring the doorbell. Ding Dong. The witch will soon be dead. 3. TQ. Hi, TQ. You're just a snake. Again, not a snake in the grass. A snake in thick undergrowth. All I need is a flute to charm you out of your hiding spot and right where I need you. 4. Thomas is a wildcard. Simply put, I don't know where I stand with him. 5. Mist is sweet. She's genuine, but she's definitely with TQ. That's a pair I need to break up. 6. Sherry is amazing. She's one of my best friends in this game, and we've been working together since the swap. WATCH OUT. The TWISTER SISTERS are brewing up a storm! 7. Abbey. I don't even know where I'm going to start with Abbey. She's pure, and genuine, and my closest ally here. We don't have a name, but I trust her. Hopefully, I can. I want to. BUT, that's the dilemma. Can I beat Abbey and Sherry in a FTC? I can't beat Richie. I think, my best options to win this game are to be at Final Tribal Council with Mist and Thomas. I'll just need to figure out how I can get that done. This game is stressing me out. I have no clue what I need to do next. One thing I have going for me, is that I've know where every tribal vote was before tribal happened. It's a crazy, crazy game. And it's only going to get crazier from here. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ne1Z28CrNw&feature=youtu.be

Okay, so let's talk about what the FUCK just happened. I tried to warn Eddie about the danger that was Abbey, Zach, and Sid. He was so defensive about keeping them safe and eventually I resolved to just leave him alone about it. I'm still sure I can use Sid in this game, but Abbey and Zach barely talk to me these days let alone discuss game with me so why keep them? The fans are all on board to execute this plan that has all these moving parts: convince Eddie that the vote is Thomas, scare the other faves into thinking that Thomas has an idol and that voting him is a bad idea, force Zach, Abbey, and Sid to vote out Eddie, all the while fans stick strong to vote out Abbey and take out the faves' central player. But all of that blows the fuck up when Sherry, Sid, Richie and Abbey compare notes and find out Eddie is a scammer who has been playing every single person in this game. I mean, good for him, honestly. He had me convinced that we were close as hell. Meanwhile, Richie thinks they're a final two, and it was just bombshell after bombshell with all the shit they uncovered. So here I was trying to keep him safe even still, but there was no way for me to do it because the entire tribe wants him gone now. I come to terms with it all and finally say "fine by me" because the only thing worse than a rat is a messy one, and I enjoy a quiet day all the way up until right before tribal when someone tells Eddie about the plan and he starts trying to pin this thing on me and get me voted out this round. It's a great game move on his end, and I can respect it. It would have been easy to paint me as a bigger target than himself. So easy, in fact, that he actually got the vote to flip once or twice. But in the end I think he'd just dug himself in too deep, and I'm choosing to trust that I had people fighting to keep me in this game because they know it furthers their own games and they campaigned well on my behalf. At this point, I realize now that I can't take faves to the end of the game. They are looking out for each other, so I've got to look out for mine.

Teehee. Ummmm........ fuck? Thanks Sid

I accidentally fucked over Zach today and im basically dying. i have a rlly bad guilt complex and the idea that hes mad at me quite literally makes me want to die. so i h8 this again. sid and sherry want me to seperate my friendship with Zach from the game but how can i when were in this reunion chat together and were in 900 other chats together and were friends and i care that hes upset??? i know hes amd bc hesnot joking with me in the reunion and it sucks and i want to sleep for 900 years

Lol can someone do me a favor and vote me out? Lol! Like.... plz? The game is getting weird and everybody is lying and throwng each other under the bus and lowkey hating each other and it's like I'm in an episode of Degrassi. I can participate. "SID YOU BROKE UP WITH MY BEST FRIEND HOW DARE YOU." Theni I bitch to Mist to which mist tells Abbey who tells Richie, who tells Thomas who tells Sherry who tells Mist again who brings in TQ who then tells Sid that I slept with his sister. I'm back in high school. And a real one this time considering my last one wasn't normal and we never had drama. CANT WE ALL JUST.......... RELAX????? Richie is messaging me right now who is seemingly pissed off because HE WAS LIED TO AS WELL. But is also admitting to telling eddie about the plan and he threw me under the bus to sid who told abbey to also lie to me and backstab me, and then eddie knew all along and mist and tq knew as well, but they went against eddie because of receipts presumabely by sid who wanted eddie out and abbey who is richies target all along so she was scared, so she told me tq and eddie tq and I voted one of my fav people in the game and now I'm pissed off because essentially sid and abbey are the reason my relationship with TQ is down a couple points. Like in the Sims when those negative bars pop up above their heads. That is TQ right now. And its because of mu lovely "Allies," one of which is Abbey. Soooooooooo, thanks again guys. I DONT CARE ABOUT BEING A BITCH! I mainly care about relationships and all of yall are making it hard to do that when youre spinning me around and using me as a meat shield to cause damage. Like BYE. UGhhhhhhhhhh I'm upset now. I'm not but I am. I'm also upset that I'm not upset that I am upset that I'm not. Like these people lied to me. Made me vote someone I really like who now probably likes me less. Covered their own asses because they can. Took advantage of me. And Abbey did that to me too. Why did she do that to me? I didn't think she had it in her to do that to me, but I guess I was wrong. It is what it is, and I can forgive, but you guys are shits for doing it and you know that. But imma continue to be my happy shitty self because drama is too much. But ya'll are gonna read this later and I hope you realize just how much a dick move that was. I'm looking at you Abbey. I'm very disappointed in you. And Sid. Sid is playing way to hard. He doesn't care about us. He cares about the game and that's something I just cant stand behind, when we're all little gerbils in his game. Santa Sid has been a naughty boy. So what am I going to do now? I'm going to continue being a little bitch and try to get back into TQ's graces thinks to my "allies." In al honesty tho, I'm tired right now. I'm going to regret it later, but I have to say what is on my mind which will probably be a different mindset once I clear things up with tq and everything. So again this is just on my mind right now at the current moment. But fuck you guys. Abbey you're included. I'm sorry girlfriend but you fucked me over and so did you sid. I'm just really pissed off at the moment. And its only because of TQ. Because I voted him and yall told me to. And he was not going and you told me he was. It was uncalled for and fucked up. But I'm going to talk to him tomorrow and yall best hope it goes well or else I will unleash hell. I don't care about this game enough to be a cutthroat bitch. So Sorry guys but you played a dick move. And I'll get over it but tonight I just want to be angry and pissed off. That's all guys. Zach is just really pissed off tonight and am feeling particularly aggressive writing out the confessional. But I'll play my sweet innocent self because it works out for me. But in real life I can be a total bitch. And I wont forget about tonight. I'm a very passive aggressive person and he is now stirred tonight. That’s all. Just fucking..... I hate everything.

Still no Idol. Perfect. I'm just out here, trying to survive. I've also been getting really paranoid and pissed off. Everyone seems to think I'm Abbey's goat, and that she's pulling my strings. Not true. Especially not true when I make ALL HER GAME MOVES FOR HER and I'VE SAVED HER ASS FROM BEING VOTED OUT MULTIPLE TIMES. I really did want to go to Final 3 with Abbey, because I thought I could beat her. Guess that won't be the case, because the Jury will think she pulled me there. I've been fighting so hard in this game, and it's just aggravating seeing Abbey get all the credit. I made and came up with so many moves. Voting Richie during the Ricky vote so Gaston felt safe. Putting the target on Gaston because I predicted an Instant Tribal before anyone else did. And, lately, making fake receipts with Sherry in order to wedge distrust between the fans and Eddie. (I'll try and get those receipts and submit them so they can be recorded). I organized the vote off to take out Eddie. Abbey followed my lead. Just that morning, Abbey was going home, but I put in WORK to save her and take out Eddie. So, naturally, I'm doubting my plans on going to FTC with Abbey. I'd lose against her. Honestly, I want to go to Final Tribal with a combination of Sherry, Mist and Thomas. At this point, Sherry and Thomas look like the best deal. I'm just worried that Sherry can pull out comp wins. Or if the Jury is bitter, I could easily lose to Thomas. Step 1: Get TQ out this round. He's been everywhere, and is an amazing social player. Use this round to gain trust with Mist, so that when TQ goes, Mist comes to me. Taking TQ out shouldn't be that hard. I just need to put in some social plays. Maybe some more fake receipts. Step 2: Get Zach out next. Zach is a huge threat. He is a contender for a lot lot lot of Jury votes. Taking him out, while blindsiding Abbey in the vote, is a great thing for my resume is I somehow end up with Abbey at FTC. This'll be at Final 7. Me, Sherry, Mist, Thomas and Richie will be enough to seal the deal. I know he's probably conspiring against me, so I need to strike quickly. Step 3: Take out Richie. What a player. It shouldn't be hard to do this, since he's voted clueless for more tribal councils then I have hands. (So, 3). Everyone's against Richie. It'll be easy. NOTE: Honestly, these last three could go in any order. Richie might be next. It all depends. Step 4: Take out Mist. I like Mist. Don't get me wrong. But she's a threat. Not because she can win stuff, or because she's particularly good at this game. She's a threat because she's a vote for people I'm against. Step 5: Abbey. It's sad. I know, but I need to take out Abbey. Final 4 seems like a fine spot to do that. At least she beat her last placement of 7th. :) If I can get Sherry on board with this, beautiful. If not, I'm sure I can get Thomas. Everyone's been aiming for Abbey, so I need to keep her around until I can coast to the end. I may really need to win this Immunity. Step 6: Go to Final Tribal Council. Unless it's a Final 2. In that case, I'll want to go to FTC with only Thomas. I really will need to win this Immunity. Very badly. I think I can beat Thomas at a Final Tribal Council. So, let's see how Jury votes will fall. Ricky: I see Ricky voting for me. I don't think he would vote for Sherry or Thomas over me. He barely played with them, and they voted him out. Gaston: Wildcard. I see him voting for Thomas if he's bitter. If he's not, he should be able to respect that I outplayed Sherry and Thomas. Eddie: I see Eddie voting for me. If I was here with TQ or Mist, I wouldn't be too sure. However, I don't think Eddie has enough of a bond with Thomas and Sherry to vote for them. Unless he's bitter. TQ: Wow. I see TQ voting for me. I really do. But, he could just as easily flip to Sherry or Thomas if they have good speeches. Hopefully they don't. Zach: I think Zach would vote for me in the end. I feel like he's smart enough to separate personal from game. He hasn't built a relationship with Sherry yet. I hope he and Thomas aren't buddy buddy. Richie: I don't think Richie would end up voting for me in a FTC. I see him voting for Thomas. Mist: She's tricky. I see her voting for me a lot, but I can also see Mist voting for Sherry. I just need to make a good bond with her in the upcoming rounds. Abbey: Either she'd vote for me or Sherry. This is based on how bitter she is. If it's a Final 2... Sherry: I could see her voting for Thomas because I betrayed her, but I could also see her taking a step back and voting for the best player. Me. LET'S HOPE IT FUCKING WORKS. I KNOW THERE'S AN IDOL OUT THERE, BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE IT. UGH UGH UGH.

Omg ok. ok. okkkkk. I knew it. I knewwwww it. I literally submitted a semi mean confessional like two minutes ago and I'm already more over it right now. lol. All it takes for me is a nice pm from Abbey to make the world better. IM SORRY ABBEY. IT WAS JUST MY PETTINESS. but yeah I love her. She feels really bad about it. Who am I to make her feel worse. She's great and fantastic. And she said she hoped it didn't affect our friendship and I'm like "fuck me." So Abbey it didn't at all. I just wanted to be petty because I don't get to be angry enough in my life. I'm a cancer. We cause drama. Were overly emotional. Its what we do. So I'm sorry girl. Sid you still owe me a better apology but I'll forgive you too. TQ I'm really sorry and I love you. Mist where did we go wrong? Richie is talking to me now and is finding me better company aww. Sherry girl we gotta talk. We'll figure it out as a true fam. Bye lovelies. I'm all over the place good god. 

Huh. Really quick, plan may have changed. I think we're going after Richie this vote because Mist wants to take him out, and I don't mind that at all. Sherry, Abbey and I (Team Rocket) made an alliance with Mist called Bikini Rock Bottom. I just need to win Immunity so that Richie doesn't. If Richie does, I think they're going to target Thomas. I really don't want to do that. I need Zach out sooner than later, but Abbey is protecting him right now. We'll see how it pans out. I need to take a nap before Pressure Cooker.

Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool. So let's disregard my last confessionals. Lolol. HAHAHA. HEHEHEHEH. TEEHE. Since they didn't actually truly really lie to meeeee.... I was just out so..... SORRRRY EVERYBODY HOHDKLHK Kisses I'm making no sense right now so I'll be straight. The vote was a mess. The vote switched to TQ and then switched back to Eddie. I already voted though thus the reason I wasn't told. there was seemingly no nefarious action behind it so I shouldn't be upset. Plus I talked to tq today and I think we're good. I love that kid. SoOoOoOoOoOo.............. Time to lay low again. Hand out smiles like a Drug Dealer hands out drugs. And keep it cool. I'm cool. Love yall!

So last night, at instant tribal, I sort of got the vote for Zach initiated. No one else really knew what they were doing or at least no one wanted to say anything, but I would have rather we had a clear target than everyone voting all over the place and not knowing how the vote was going to shake down. I stuck my neck out and got Zach voted out, which I'm actually pretty proud of. I got three votes the previous tribal, and  I'm making sure they all get sent home for it. Going into Pressure Cooker, though, I really wanted to win. Partly because I just wanted to have a win under my belt, and there's nothing easier than just standing there. At the same time, I wasn't sure how safe I actually was because as these numbers dwindle I'm becoming a bigger and bigger target, and I can't be 100% sure that even my closest alliance of Mist and Sherry wouldn't take a swipe at me at someone made a good enough case. I spent the first half of this game playing up how much I didn't know about this game and being sociable so that I was seen as easy to get along with and non-threatening. Now, I'm letting my strategic side show more and I know people are noticing. I was prepared to go as long as I needed to to win that challenge last night and about halfway through I knew that it would be me and Richie at the end of it. We had a long talk about this game and how we are supposed to be on the same page. I finally convinced him to let me have immunity and I promised him safety for at least the new two rounds. Now, if this was Big Brother, I would send his ass out immediately for voting against me twice. But in this game I truly want to keep my word to him and keep him safe, or at least make it look like I tried to keep him safe, for two rounds. I had it all planned out: Abbey next, Sid finds an idol, I sit Sid out to make Richie feel completely safe, and then Sid plays the idol that sees Richie eliminated. Richie goes to jury feeling like I did everything in my power to keep my word to him and I still get rid of him and Abbey who are the two biggest threats to my game right now. But now, I feel like the people I was working with are taking this thing completely out of my hands because they would rather Richie go out sooner rather than later. I'm fighting for the guy and trying to beg them to let me keep my word to him but it doesn't look like it's working. The danger I see in Abbey is that everyone thinks she's a threat, but one that can be taken out later. We've been saying "next time" on Abbey for like three fucking tribals now. That's how she's going to make her way straight to the end of the game where I can't beat her. Ugh. I'm going to keep trying to save Richie, and I'm going to tell him the vote is Abbey, but if I can't keep him safe like I said I could I'm going to feel like such shit. I'm also starting to feel a bit wary of Sherry. I love the woman, but I'll be damned if she doesn't get what she wants. I don't buy any of her "the jury hates me, I could never win" stuff. I've been so loyal to her in this game and I'm not sure if I would even have the support to make a move like cutting her off before final tribal. If I even mention something like that to the wrong person and it gets back to her my game is over. It's just... so much to think about.

So we had the challenge last night, fuck pressure cooker tbqh. I could only stay up till 4 bc i worked the next day and fucking everyone but Mist was up so I left. They went until like 7 so fuck that tbh. ANyway we had an instant tribal before the challenge and the hosts r like only talk outloud no typing so im like :\\\\\ bc me Sid and Sherry threw around 900 plans  and im like how tf do we decide on which one without letting everyone else know. So Sherry says to TQ so with the plan we talked about and as far as I know TQ was in on the Richie plan so im like yikes. I say to Sid what r we doing and he says go with the original plan which to me means Richie but i dont fucking know. ANyway I vote richie and and he plays an idol so im like lol great. TQ gets votes, I get a vote and Zach goes home. So I was shook, I got emotional and that surprised me. I knew I was going to have to vote him out eventually but I wanted it to be on my terms bc hes my friend and i didnt want to hurt him. But knowing that I didnt vote for him, that him going home wasnt on me is bitter sweet. I cried a lil but idk if anyone could see it on cam idk. ANYWAY so after the challenge, TQ wins, and I go to SId and SHerry and im like what happened? and they say that TQ said Zach got caught up in a lie about who told Eddie the plan. So TQ wanted him gone and they voted with him. They said they didnt tell me bc it was right before the challenge and they were going to tell me after. I believe them bc I think they do have my back and Sid knew I didnt rlly want to vote for Zach so it worked out for the best I think.  So now were thinking RIchie doesnt have an idol bc he just played his and no one has gone looking yet. SId is getting two idol clues so the three of us better find it or were really flops. We've got Mist in on RIchie and were gonna include Thomas so that next round when we want to take out TQ is everything works out he will be more inclined to work with us.

WOW OH WOW. So I haven't made a confessional this round. And a lot has happened. So let me just break it down for y'all. The Zach vote was something Sherry and I had been planning for after Pressure Cooker. The fact that it was an instant made me so happy because we just got him out then-and-there. It was clean. He was super dignified, and handled it amazingly. I love you, Zach! Okay, so Pressure Cooker was a mess and a half. I knew I wouldn't be able to compete with the people left standing after Sherry went. I did that challenge for 6 hours on 4 hours of sleep. I was ready to drop around hour 3, but I knew that Teddy could offer an Idol Clue or special power. I just waited, and, as soon as Teddy mentioned that, I dropped. So, now I have a Challenge Advantage (which I have to use next round), and 2 Idol clues. WOOT WOOT. The plan for Tribal was always to get out Richie, but Sherry and I contemplated taking out Abbey. With Tribal only 40 minutes away, I think the vote will be me, Sherry, Abbey, Mist and Thomas voting for Richie while Richie and TQ vote for Abbey. I still don't feel super safe, because they could easily flip on me. Even if they flip to take out Abbey or Sherry, I'm put in a really bad spot. TQ could potentially sit me out of the next challenge. That plan I sent you a few days ago? That could all be tossed out the window. Sherry would, now, definitely beat me in front of a Jury. I want to go with Thomas and Mist. I can beat them. Easily. If I convince everyone to take out TQ the next round, Sherry after that, and then Abbey, I'm set. If it's a Final 2, I'd be cut without Immunity. If I do win Immunity, I'm not sure whether I'll take Mist or Thomas. (Probably Thomas). Let's hope this next Tribal goes well. I gave Mist and TQ fake Idol Clues. My clues were that the Idol wouldn't be at Tree Mail or the Rock Island. TQ and Mist have been only looking at Tree Mail or the Rock Island. I told Sherry and Abbey the real clues, because they said they would transfer me the idol. Because if they didn't, it would "reveal they were working with me". Everyone knows that they are, but whatever. GOD. If this is my last confessional of the game, I love you all. Thank you for following my journey through this hellhole. Teddy, Shelby and Lydia, you have been amazing hosts. Let's cross our fingers that I don't end up as a double-timer in the 7th place chat!

YIKES, ok, round 12 (editors note: ????what????)  here we freaking go. So this is going to be divided into a few chapters: CHAPTER 1: CALM CHAPTER 2: STIRRED CHAPTER 3: SHOOK Chapter 1: So Round 11/12 (editors note part two: ???? what ????) is starting right now. 11 was not even really a round because we had a really quick instantaneous tribal. And it wasn't like the Gaston vote instant, because there, I actually discussed a bit. No, this was literally sprung up on me and I hadn't talked to anyone yet. So as soon as Teddy goes, "Hands Up, it's an Instant Tribal." I'm like shaking. I don't know who to vote, I don't know where I want to vote. Before, I kind of wanted to vote Richie. I thought he was a big target and I really believed he needed to go home, but during the tribal, TQ was like telling me, "Remember what we discussed this morning." The only thing we had talked about this morning was about the fact that he was talking to Zach and how he believed Zach was acting a bit fake and not owning up to the vote that he placed on him. So, yeah I got the message, the vote was Zach. Did I like it? Not so much. I didn't like that the NuAshoka was taking another hit, but honestly, I didn't see us working together for that long anyways. So, reluctantly, I voted for Zach. When the votes came in, and Richie pulled out an idol, I was really glad I didn't throw a vote his way. However, I didn't know where this was going at all. I didn't know if I misinterpreted TQ's message and Richie was going. But then the votes came in for 2 - Richie 4 - Zach 1 - Abbey 1 - TQ. So, Zach goes. I loved how he wasn't necessarily bitter about it, like he's such a great person, and I hated doing that, but it really had to be done. I didn't know where he stood, I didn't know who he was working with, it was the best move right now I think.

Shit. Me and the Melting Pot had this neat little plan worked out to get Gaston out of this game but the whole thing got ruined because Ashen was removed. I can't even wrap my head around what that does to my game going forward now because I don't know what that does to numbers, the Fans alliance, Gaston's cronies, OR what numbers the Faves think they have. I just have to sit down and try to work it out I guess. This shit is giving me a headache.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWHg2tVsCu8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tahmqKigYoM&feature=youtu.be

So I was thinking about getting out Sid in the next round after taking out Gaston. The reason being because I didn't want fan numbers to dwindle and then the remaining faves realize they could constitute a majority if they decided to work together and take each other all the way. With my alliance's sights set on Gaston and the fact that Ashen was just removed from the game, fans are going quick. And it's not that I want to keep up the fans versus faves thing, it's just that I can't ignore it and let it bite me in the ass. I spent a good amount of time with Sid today and he's on board to follow the plan that me, Sherry, and Mist worked on to flush out Thomas's auction prizes this round while targeting Gaston. The question I have to ask myself now is do I want to keep him around even longer and take my chances with a faves majority, or do I want to make the move that'll paint me as the ringleader of Sid's vote out by blocking his ability to play in immunity. Unless someone's told him I was thinking about doing that, it would be a blindside too which makes it even worse. In the back of my mind, I keep telling myself I can keep this thing in my back pocket and use it just in case something goes wrong when we take this swing at Gaston. But I would hate to screw myself and get voted out before I have the time to use my prize in a way that benefits me and furthers my game. Do I wait for the best move and potentially wait too long, or do I use it as soon as possible to make an average ass move? 

Sid found out from Sherry and TQ about the Melting Pot alliance. He was scared that I wasn't with him anymore which broke my heart. He's honest to god my #1 in this game even above Zach and the idea that he thinks I would do anything to hurt him feels awful. I explained why I kept the alliance from him, to protect him and make him less of a target and I think he got it but idk. I guess TQ is tryna make f3 deals with everyone and their mom so hes being messy. Anyway as far as I'm concerned its me, Sid, Sherry and Zach to final 4.

IM STILL ALIVE! IM VACATIONING BUT IM BREATHING. Omg but I feel so bad for Teddy. He's gonna read this, and be like "There's Jack again. I've only heard myths about him. Where has he been hiding all this time." That Teddy man, deserves so much more. And that's why i'm going to give it my all in this next challenge. I don't want to be gone all day. But I only see the people here like twice a year where I am in California. They're all here, so they come first. I even have a twisted dream of getting voted out when I'm with a group of my friends, so I can announce it to everyone and watch their reactions as they struggle to find the right words. Like I told my best friend about the game because she sees my phone blow up with notifications, and I had to explain it to what those notifs were, and it ws fantastic. Best way to get weird looks is by saying you're in an online Tumblr Survivor Game. But ANYWAY, that's been my life recently. Just living normally? Which is weird. OKAY, back to the Gammamama. I have literally no idea what's happening. I feel like people want to target Gaston and then Richie is pissing people off (he messaged me "I hate all of you" at one point and then said he likes to get reactions, and I'm still wondering what the heck happened in that conversation). Plus Thomas has that power thing, so the three of them seem to be against the other seven. But again I'm not too sure> i'm like the long lost uncle of the game. People like me, but I don't talk to them everyday, but I'm still part of the fam? We'll see. People around me are like three times the strategizers as me, and I'm over here in the corner with a bag of popcorn, kind of chilling out. Which seeeeems to be effective?? Like apparently my name hasn't been brought up?? Or so I've heard? I'll take it! but again, IM SORRY TEDDY YOU DESERVE BETTER. he's working so hard this season and hes really doing a great job and everyone here is like "blahhhh" and so help me if I wasn't on vacation and school was in session, Id be giving these kids a run for their money. But I'm just a loyal hoe in this game and I'm a number. A granny who just bakes her famous cookies and shares them with all. A stuffed animal you get at Build-a-bear-Workshop. If anything, I only got more innocent since my time in Transylvania and I didn't even think that was possible. BUT we shall see what happens. You NEVER know what could happen in this game so I'm not gonna say I'm safe for this vote and am making final five cause who the hell knows! But I'll be right here for my friends and hopefully I can maintain Sweet and innocent until the end of the game. Also at the risk of sounding too vanilla, Ill confess a sin where I bitched so bad about my roommate apparently to my friends, that one of them messaged my roommate and just said "Fuck you" in it, and it got really awkward when the roommate messaged me back seeing it was a mutual friend who messaged him, and I ignored it until I could think of a lie later. Oopsie. Sorry bud! But I guess in the words of Porky Pig "ehhbebdbhhdbbebdbhedbbdhebb That's all Folks!"

Eddie told me that Gaston told him that I told Sherry  that Gaston had F3 deals with everyone. I never said that to Sherry or anyone. I mentioned to both Sid and Sherry that Gaston floated the idea of working with me. I never said he had an f3 deal with me or anyone. I dont know at this point if Sherry really said that or is Gaston was making things up to get me out. Bc he fucking tried it.  NOW the hosts fukt us more. We all have to pick one person to be immune or it goes to the jury and they put two people on the block. So basically Ricky will want Eddie and Gaston will probably want  Sid or me or Zach bc Sherry used her power so shes safe. So basically  i h8 this game

I've had some time think about everything that happened in-game last night and process it all and I still don't think I fully have yet. I wasn't expecting an instant tribal which is my own fault because someone actually said we might be having one soon (I think it was Mist?) but I still let myself be unprepared. Everyone was scrambling and shit trying to get the vote figured out and I knew that we were going to send Gaston out of the game but I hadn't come to terms with it yet. That was the hardest vote I'd cast all season; I really liked Gaston and had told him he'd be safe knowing I was lying, and I was also blindsiding Thomas and Richie who I now need. It was always part of my plan to start targeting faves after Gaston left because he was their great uniter and I didn't want him calling the shots. But with this latest immunity challenge where it's very likely that our jury will get to nominate two people to be voted out, I'm realizing I'm in deep shit. I'm not high on Ricky or Gaston's list of faves right now. And all it takes is for someone who realizes they're completely safe if it goes to jury - like Abbey, Richie, or Thomas - to throw this and then I'm fairly sure my ass is on the chopping block. If I can convince Sid and Richie that Gaston leaving actually opens this game up for the fans to play this game, I might be able to survive the round.

FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK. Okay. So. It could be me. Richie won his motherfucking Immunity. Whoop-de-doo. I fucking hate him. I'm so over him. God, it was a good move. But STILL. So here's what I'm thinking. Thomas isn't an idiot. He knows that if Richie won Immunity, he would be targeted. So one of them has an idol. Right? UGH. UGH. So they'll have the power to Idol someone out. And since Sherry isn't here, I feel like they'd go for me. Just because of what fucking Gaston said. I'm PRESSED. They could totally not have an idol, but I'm pretty sure they do. So here's what Abbey and I have proposed: a 4-2-2 vote. Me, Zach, Abbey and TQ (hopefully) vote for Eddie. Then, Eddie and Mist will vote for Thomas. Thomas and Richie will vote for either me or Abbey. I just can let it go to rocks, so we don't have the votes to split. If Sherry was here, this would be so much easier. GOD. I should've just let it go to Jury. Ricky would have my back with the noms. And I can't even look for an idol for this next Tribal Council. WHAT IS LIFE?!?!?!?!?!? Richie is good. Richie isn't a snake in the grass. He's a snake in dense undergrowth. And I can't be having that. If I'm still in after this Tribal, he's my number one target. FUCK THIS.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrBLMNC76Zk&feature=youtu.be

I'm fucking everything up as per usual. I fucking forgot that Eddie had an idol clue because I'm fucking stupid and now Sid is mad that I didn't tell him about it ushfdgfhg. I honestly fucking forgot about the clue bc I dont care about idols. I hate this. Sid probably doesnt trust me anymore and thats totally fair for him I understand but like I forgot about it !!!!!! Hes putting his ass on the line for me this vote bc his plan is to tie it between me and Thomas Bc apparently the fans in my big alliance r coming for my ass idk. Were hoping to get Eddie out tho if we can flip Richie and Thomas or just one of then it doesnt matter. Ugahdsfhdgfhg I hate this

SO Sherry flipped Richie with Sids help and the help of a fake conversation Sherry and I crafted. Apparently TQ is on board as well as Thomas so I might not even get any votes tonight. Or im going home, who knows. Me and Sid are cool, I love him and he says he loves me its so iconic, my son, an angel. Whenever he calls i just watch him dance and take screenshots of him its the best i love it. I also love Sherry, and Zach for being on board and sticking with me. Angels all around me. 

Oooouuuuu. Okay so tonight is..... Tonight is...... Okay let's rewind it up a little bit because I'm majorly icked out. *Reverse sound effects you'd hear in a flashback sequence.* So yesterday I went shopping, and I'm an aggressive shopper, so I just like didn't go on skype until forever later. Bad idea. There's a lot of weird things happening right now. STarting with the last SURPRISE BITCHES tribal, thigns are getting sketch. Like poor Gaston got the boot, but also Thomas using the vote switcher on me. Like EXCUSE MWAH HOW DARE YOUZE. Ok but tbh, I wasn't even upset by it at all. Like I haven't talked to the the man since like the day after merge. Oops. So how can I blame him for wanting my ass out. I'd want my ass too. PLUS it was a good move, soooo.... I guess good job Thomas? And his plan would have worked too if it weren't for these meddling kids. But yeah Gaston left and Thomas and Richie were blindsided and presumably pissed off. And then the challenge comes and AE YOU FOR REAL!?!?!?! Ok, so I'm pretty sure Ricky still hates my guts. I hope not because I apologized for EVERYTHING. LIKE LORD HAVE MERCY FOR FUCKS SAKE. And Gaston I never talked to either so again, oops. And Ashen aint even on that jury. So you know what that means. Gaston and Ricky are together on the jury probably bitching it up out there about me and that's terrifying. But the challenge comes and if it aint a unanimous decision Then Guess what guys. THAT JURY DECIDES WHO SHOULD GO. Aka probably me and Eddie. So thank god Richie was selfish enough to go like "i voted me, yall better do the same" cause like "sure lets save your fucking ass so ours isn't on the line." Like Richie getting most-deserving? Sorry dude, but.... you literally messaged me "I hate all of you." That's not exactly great gameplay. I don't know. He's a little extra for my taste. Anyway, Richie gets all the votes (and it still astounds me that Thomas went along with that), and here we are going to tribal without the jury's participation. I'd like to thank all the little people out there who helped with that and let me dodge a hateful bullet. You are all appreciated. SO then now this vote comes. I wake up today late, disgusting, and lazy, and Queen Abbey whom I love so much messages me like "we have a plan. its crazy." I'm shitting my pants at this point. Then she tells me about the plan to blindside Eddie. At that point I almost kickflipped out the window into the street, because voting Eddie? I reallllly don't need ANOTHER person hating me. But I love abbey. I'm ready to have someone stab my heart with a sword in order for Abbey to progress. SO, anything for my bae. But voting Eddie off too? I like Eddie. I realize he's playing SOOOOO SOO SOOO SOOO SOOSOSO OSOSOSO SOS SOSOS OSOS SOSOSOSO SO SOSO hard at this game. LIKE THE DUDE CAME TO PLAY WIN AND MURDER US ALL. But I'm a loyal innocent hoe, so voting him scares the crap out of me. So I mysteriously vanish for the next two hours, or in other words, sit on the couch taking online quizzes and singing loudly, until Sid and Abbey simultaneously message me to get on a call with them and Sid. Which I am on right now trying to figure out the mess. BUT GUYS THERE MAY BE HOPE. They want a couple people to throw votes towards Thomas in case Eddie plays an idol. GLADLY. I'll vote Thomas right now let's go. We have no relationship. Sorry dude! I just suck at instigating messages. So I don't owe him anything. Mist is seemingly willing to vote Eddie out too, which means all of his allies are bitches essentially. Eddie deserves more. I like Eddie. I'm so sorry Eddie. I'm not going to vote you, but if I tell you about what is happening, my head will be on the platter. IM SORRY. I cant handle any more hate. I'm a baby. So yeah anyway, tonight, it looks like Eddie has a strong chance of going, and if its not Eddie, it might be Thomas? Although Abbey has also said she believes she's being targeted too. So I'm just here like "wtf??" But I'm going to push for voting Thomas. I'm a weak ass and I don't want to vote eddie. In other news, the next round will be final 8? Let's see how much longer I can go without getting any vottttttttes. This is all for my wiki page. I want it to be pretty and fun. So wish this kid some luck as I approach final 8 then 7, then 6, then 5, and then jury because I'll probably be voted out at 5 again. Ehhhh. Could be fun. I dream of four tho. ALSO THIS WILL BE A FINAL TWO SEASON BELIEVE THAT! I am all over that wiki page and I saw how under Ashen's name there were TWO GRAY BARS FOR THE LAST TWO PEOPLE IN THE VOTING HISTROY. I see ya'll wiki editors. I have no idea, I have zero deductive skills, but I sense this will be a final two season, so count on it. I'd prefer a final two season actually. More fun. God knows I probably won't be in that two lsdlhsdlhklsd. Okay, and since I'm bored and I guess i'll keep the confessional going... how about a CAST ASSESSMENT? MAybe........ Sure why not? Sid - I love him. He's precious and pure and a child. He is also a GAMER THO HOLY SHIT. I'm three years older and hes like a little kitten you put down to feed and hes running all over the place, slapping the other cats, making a mess. Although Sid is cleaner than that. We saw his room. It's like hes living in a model home Istg. But how could you not love the kid. Hes adorable. Abbey - MY BAE OF THE GAME. When Cami isn't here, Abbey fills me with strength and love and I need her here. My rock, my love, my mom, my everything in Maldives. I'm a loya hoe to Abbey. And she is playing this game stunningly. Although SHE KEEPS GETTING VOTES SO YALL BETTER KNOCK IT OFF OR ILL CUT YOUR HEADS OFF WITH AN AXE. teehee. But I love her. Shes precious. TQ - Oh god I love him. I love him so much. He is so nice, so sweet, so genuine, so honest, so amazing, so incredible. I love him. We're playing the game together and I love him. I LOVE U DUDE. He could give me the boot tonight and Id still love him. Hes great. Mist - Mist can honestly slay me. I love her too. She's hilarious and fresh out of a root canal and she is also playing a really good game. I'm proud of her. I can also see her turning on me soon, but again I wouldn't care. That's my theme of getting voted off this season. I aint gonan cause drama, yell, scream, curse at anybody. I'll smile and laugh, give a "you guys are the best I love you all" and then smile my way out. AFTER STICKING around to get my torch snuffed. None of these people wait for teddy to snuff their torches. Like god guys its an online game. Have fun with it. Okay wait who am I assessing here again. Oh Mist. Yeah Mist is great. She can kill me. Richie - Ugh. He hates everybody, probably is bitching about me in the confessionals. Ugh. Thomas - Opps, hehe never talked to him. SOooooooooo... sorry dude. I also heard how the gif of your ugly ass sign wasn't even your idea and I apologize for that. But we don't talk so that's on me. Sorry buddy. Eddie - Oh Eddie. Eddie Eddie you know I love you dude, I feel SO bad if tonight's prophecy rings true and he'll be the one to leave. I would hate that. But everyone has gotten together and talked about how he's making final tribal deals with everybody, and it never works out for the players. Poor guy. But yes I still love him and he deserves more. Sorry dude. Sherry - She took my auction REWARD! HOW COULD YOU. But nah I love sherry. Shes a sweetheart, and I'm so happy to work with her. Sam's mom (Hi Sam!!). I want to play with her. I want her to win. I want her to vote me out at final five. Sherry is a queen and I love her. I think that's everybody. Hot damn there ain't too many people left. FInal 8 after this vote? I'm screaming. How did I make it this far?! I'm literally gone half the day, don't go on half the calls, and am squirming my way through all the votes. Teddy is probably watching me and like shaking his head. I'm sorry Teddy! But this is how a loyal hoe whos loyal to everyone plays! At least I'm nice! Right? I think I am. Except when I lose it Which is more often than I would have thought. Also in other news, next challenge is the standing up challenge? This real life? My feet get sore after standing for like 30 minutes. I'm supposed to be standing all night? Lol okayyyyy. We'll see about that. If I won this challenge I would literally be so shocked, that my heart would probably need a reboot. Not realistic. Watch me be first boot! Just watch Okay, I think I'm done. I need to stop talking. I'm like the dog who doesn't stop barking when everyone is yelling at him to shut up. But I think I'm done. We're still on call if anyone is wondering. Wipes me out. But I'm off to continue my day of being lazy and go to tribal tonight where Ill be pissed. Wish this binch some luck. Imma need it. Bye yall! *Mic Drop*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofkVvyIPwYY&feature=youtu.be

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b70DkaQgLs0

It is now time to reveal the winner of the Fan Favorite Award. We will reveal the top 2 vote getters. 

In second place is.... Zach!

And the winner of the Tumblr Survivor: Maldives Fan Favorite Award is.............

Congrats, Ricky!

Now onto the Player of the Season award.

In second place for this season’s Player of the Season we have.....Sid! 

And the winner of the Player of the Season Award goes to......

"I have nothing to say right now" At the start of my confessional, but it's almost 10 mins long yikesss Sorry i guess idk

So Ricky just went home. I would be more mopey about it here if he didn't blow up my game. Sherry knows I told him about her Idol, so it's puts me in such an awkward situation with her. Hopefully Gaston is still the target, so I have some time to regain Sherry's trust. I know I was ranting about Eddie earlier, but I proposed a kinda-solid alliance/pair with him, so that happened. The plan is for Zach and Eddie to pull in Mist and TQ from Ashoka, so that those four can be with me and Abbey. And I'm hoping having Mist will make it easier for Sherry to work with me. The plan to vote for Richie so Gaston wouldn't be stressed worked, but I don't know who voted for Abbey. I'm guessing Ashen at this point. The Auction is here, and I'm stressing about that. I'll probably put fair amounts of money on items I know people won't really chase. I want that Express Pass with all my heart, but I lost in a draw during Tonga's Auction. I'm not letting that happen again. I will be leaving with SOMETHING. I'm not in the best spot right now. I've never made it past the beginning of Merge in a Survivor game, so I just need to break that curse. Hey! I made Jury though. Root for me. <3

So I was added to the cutest alliance in history. Its me, Eddie, Zach, Mist, TQ and Sherry. We're called The Melting Pot, the best thing since sliced bread. They didnt want Sid just yet, bc of what RIcky did throwing him under the bus for spreading that Sherry had the idol. BUT they said they would consider the idea of adding him after the gaston vote which will hopefully be next. Im sorry Gaston I love u but youre just too good. Anyway I feel awful about keeping this from Sid but if were going to go further its in his best interest to let me make conections on the other side and let him be pulled in when the others are ready.

Wow oh wow. So I told Ricky that Sherry had the Idol. And Sherry knew that. But then Thomas was immensely stupid at the Auction with his voting power, that Sherry trusts me again! Huzzah! Sherry and Abbey are my two favorite people in this game, so I'm happy they're both my allies. With 11 people left, the little group I've proposed is Abbey, Sid, Zach, Sherry, Mist + Eddie and TQ. That leaves out Ashen, Gaston, Richie and Thomas. Thomas' Rubber & Glue power could really fuck this game up if I or Sherry don't find an Idol. But hey! I won a Challenge Advantage! So I can use that when I'm in trouble or when I don't want someone else to win Immunity. Things aren't the worst right now. I feel like Gaston will be the next target, but Sherry brought up Ashen's name for some reason. Probably because of Gaston's stick from the Auction. I'm praying that it's just a stick...

HEY IT'S ME AGAIN EVERYBODY. How the heck are ya! (*listens to an empty audience seeing as I've been so boring lately). Well good me too! I thought that would be cute, but it's not really, but meh. I can't think of another way to open my confessional with so ya'll just have to deal sorry. But anyway, I think my last confessional I was boo hooing about life and such. Ops. But yeah it's time to leave another confessional and update! Nice. So last vote, Ricky goes home and eleven remain. Like I still like ricky despite the depressive shit he sent me through, and there's no hard feelings on my part. Hopefully he can warm up to me again after the game because I'm not exactly sure what I did that called for such aggression. Like he said I lied to him and that's why I'm a shit? In Survivor? Ummm okay then? Dude you lied to me too, soooo...... But anyway after he left I felt a lot more like myself and felt comfortable talking in the chats again. But also ops, I still haven't messaged Gaston, Thomas, Ashen or Richie really (I kind of did with Richie, but he flat out said "I hate you all" and after that I was like "okay, bye.") Like there's people here who are so much more hardcore than me, strategizing four votes ahead, talking to people, getting on calls, and I'm over here with my cat just watching Disney movies, shoving food in my face avoiding the world. But it seems I don't have a target on my back YET???? So I guess me not doing much is working? I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised if the fans are trying to throw an axe into my back now as we speak. Who knows! But yeah I'm going on vacation on Monday, to visit my friends who I only get to see twice a year, so I won't really be here to talk to people and to go on calls, or anything like that. I WILL do challenges and tribals but all I'm saying is that in respect to my friends who want to see me, I can't be online as much. So sorry everybody! It wasn't you, it was me. Regarding my game, i'm not sure how much this will impact it. Lol I mean I have the alliance of six who I love dearly and Sid. And the other four I don't talk to. Ops. Sorry guys, and I'm especially sorry Thomas because as I knew I would in an earlier confessional, you are cool and I do like you. Sorry about that gross confessional! Ok, but my gameplay is funny because I'm not trying to be mega strategic, or cut throat or anything. I'm here to be friendly, laugh it up, and be cutesy, and so far the strategy seems to be working. I like these people! They're fun. And we'll see how much farther I can go cutifying the game. In the meantime I'm going to do that challenge now as tomorrow I'll me preoccupied. Catch ya'll on the flipside!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLSM2CVDFlM&feature=youtu.be

The Melting Pot is such a nice alliance. I really really hope we can make it to final seven along with Sid. That would be so ideal. Also I adore Zach. If I havent said that before idk why. He is mad about the one single vote I got even though I'm not. I'm so lucky to have Zach as an ally and a friend omg. We both agreed that we're playing for our survivor other halves, Jay and Cami. It's so sweet and cute im alive

I made merge!!!!!! I was reunited with my boys blesssssssss. Im still sad about Kaci, she should be here but I can't dwell on that tbh. If a girl goes next I'm gonna sue. But a bunch of bullshit  went down on Ashoke. Eddie and Zach blindsided Ricky on the last vote and it's such a mess I honestly dont know what to do. I rlly want to go to the end with Sid Ricky and Zach but idk if Ricky and Zach can reconcile. Ugh. The tribe is playing curve now so idk we will seee

This vote was #messy. Like I stand by my decision voting Amanda. I loved the girl but her connections are intense. She lnows everybody in this community, and yeah it was hard to vote her, but the fact everyone is so pissed is exactly the reason why we had to do it. It would have been aa cakewalk for her to finals. So she hates my guts now. Ricky hates my guts now, but I wasn't ready to sacrifice my own game to make it easier for others. I don't think either one overreacted. I mean I'd be pissed yeah. But throwing insults at us for making an arguably smart move is just too much. Blindsides happen. If it was me, I'd smile and be like aw shucks see ya'll after the game. Like it wasn't a malicious vote. It's only strategic. So now I have to do damage control with Ricky, who posted in the tribe chat 1) I hope Zach and Eddie choke tonight, and then 2) Well look who it is, my least favorite people on the tribe. I like Ricky. I still like Ricky. And I don't blame him for wanting me dead. But if he wants to hate me for the entirety of the game, then it's on him. I'll just be here when he's ready to talk. I still want to work with him, except now Eddie does not because Eddie is pissed off. Like here's the deal. Ricky was the one who threw me under the bus first. He got into a group with all the fans, and spilled the beans that Abbey and I were together and that Eddie and Kaci were together. He also told Mist that she was getting votes and insitigated the idol play. He also got them to target Kaci on the othr vote. And who knows what else he's told them. But still I don't blame him. He made a move to further his own game. And that's what I did tonight. I liked Amanda a lot but look at her role in the community. She got fans to send hateful messages to these people. Like the girl has fans who would do that. It's just too much for me. I'm a bad guy now for making a move. I'm a shit head for not telling Ricky the plan when he clearly was besties with Amanda. yeah it screwed them over but that's the game and we had to screw someone over. Again I'm really sorry guys. You're great players. You both deserve a lot more. But I can't apologize for how the vote went down. And Ricky I hope you read this and see I literally have zero malicious intent. like I didn't want to blindside you but imagine what would happen if I told you. Who knows what would have happened. Sorry. <3

My brain is so jumbled rn im a mess. With Sid being in a different time zone hes not available all the time and all my alliances are up in the air. I’m in an alliance with Eddie and Zach, one with Sid and Sherry and maybe Thomas. And the alliance I wanted to stick with of Ricky Zach and Sid might be fucked. I just need Ricky and Zach to make up and then everything peachy. Ideally we take out everyone but me, Sid, RIcky, Zach, Eddie, Sherry and Thomas. That's my ideal final 7. After that I would hope and pray that the 911 four stay together. It probably wont happen tho ugh.

I'm really excited to have made it to merge! (I'm a little afraid it won't last, but at least I've hit this milestone.) It's really cool to be talking with all of the surviving fans again and to have made it through that ultra dramatic tribal that saw Amanda be voted out. Being with everyone again is so overwhelming. Immediately, they wanted to know what had been going on and why the vote shook down the way it did and yada yada yada. I feel somewhat safe because I do think I can fall into the numbers and hide, but IDK if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I'd rather stay alert, you know? I'm also wondering how this affects where I stand with Eddie and Zach. Eddie has always been paranoid about what would happen at this merge and if it would be fans vs. faves (sucks that he might have been right) and Zach is now reunited with Abbey who I believe may be his number one in this game. I like both of them a lot and I'm not ready to see them go just yet, but we'll see how things play out. I guess I'm closest to Mist at this point -- she's the only person who is in as a unique spot with this merge happening as I am. I'm going to try sticking tight to her and hopefully we can ride this thing out for a while. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to persuade anyone to think voting Ricky over Amanda was a better idea. They both had to go so whatever but honestly Ricky just irks me so much more. I tried talking to him post-merge with the intent of wiping our slate clean moving forward but it was impossible. All he wanted to do was make himself out to be the victim and talk about how lied to and shocked he always is, even though he's lied multiple times when it wasn't even necessary. So instead of blowing up at him I decided to just shut up and walk away. I'm content to throw shade in the tribe chat and drag him through the mud to anyone who'll listen for now, but the first chance I get I'm trying to get his ass out of here. It'll be so embarrassing if he outlasts me though.

SO, we made merge!!! im so happy. i really didnt think i would get this far! the merge call we had last night was beyond amazing. we all had a really good time. im also really glad that our old tribe has been reconnected again (besides amanda, yikes) our original fans tribe also said that we were gonna vote out all the favs 1st and then worry about each other. which is okay but...there is 7 of us, and there can only be 1 winner. so im gonna start thinking about you to vote off 1st from our original fans tribe. 

Okay...so let's start off right before Tribal. I get the hint that mist and tq are voting me, so I'm sitting here, shook, and worried that something could go wrong and I could possible be going home. SO now here we are at tribal council, I'm stressed, the votes are read. Amanda goes home. 4 votes Amanda.....which means Zach and Eddie voted with Mist and TQ, which mean I wasnt part of that 4, which means Zach and Eddie didnt clue me in, which means they lie to me. So I'm over here UPSET and FUCKING BAWLING BC I THINK THAT IM ON THE BOTTOM OF THE TRIBE AND THE TWO PEOPLE I WAS WITH SINCE DAY 1 DONT WANT TO WORK WITH ME ANY MORE. But then....Treemail... and what does Treemail hold? WHY A BRAND NEW BUFF. I MADE MERGE AGAIN. BLESS UP. SO now I got straight to Sid and I'm like "lol Zach and Eddie are little bitches" and I decide not to talk to Eddie and Zach the rest of the night because I was so hurt that they didnt trust me enough to clue me in on a fucking plan. So this morning Zach apologized, and I believe him bc I don't think Zach has a big enough brain to do something like that. I do think that he has a big enough heart to feel bad about lying, and I know since Abbey is here and Abbey is with me, he has no choice but to be with me either. Eddie on the other hand... I don't want ANYTHING to do with Eddie. Eddie is DEAD to me. I want Eddie GONE, and I want him to know how badly he hurt me. Because I know he came up with the plan to blindside Amanda. He's a selfish person and it's my goal to make sure all the selfish people are gone. He may not be gone next, but he will be gone by my hand. I promise that.

I really can't believe that my plan to turn the tribe on Amanda actually worked... Even though it ended up that she was actually with us and she wanted to work with the faves at the merge (which idek if I wanna do that tbh) it was so important to get her out, because I was able to take the target off the faves and flip it on to a fan. Another big thing I was able to do is take out one of Ricky's connections, because now that I'm in the merge I'm really starting to realize all the connections Ricky has, and how many people he has that he can work with and Amanda would have just added on to that. The aftermath has been tough to deal with though. Ricky is ignoring me and Zach, saying that he likes us the least out of everybody to our faces, typing in the tribe chat saying we should choke and then deleting it. I didn't expect him to be this mad, and I thought I could maybe work with him for a little bit coming into the merge. But that's clearly not the case. I don't think Ricky will ever truly get over this, and he may tell me and Zach that he trusts us again, but I think that vote will alway be in the back of his mind and eventually he will make a move against me or Zach. That is actually a big reason that I do not know if I can go with the fave alliance and allow them to take the people who would be in the minority out. I was talking to Sid today on call and he was talking about everything that happened on Raja Raja. He said that he has Sherry and that we can pull her into the faves and get her as a number. He also said that we could probably pull in Ashen becaue /Ricky/ knows them. So it would probably be Abbey, Zach, Sid, Ricky, Ashen, Sherry, and I and then they are looking for one more, which they would like to be TQ and I think Sid wants me to work on bringing him in with us, but I don't really know if that's the best idea. Looking at this possible alliance, I see how much of a horrible decision it would be to just go to the final 7 or 8 with them, because Ricky has such good connections with so many of them and I fully expect Ricky to try and make a move sometime around then on me and he would easily have the numbers to do this. Ricky did a good job of assuring me that Ashen would work with us because of their connection outside of the game which I don't like, and I know once we dwindle down Ashen will be way more of a number to him then they are for me. He will also 100% have Sid in his pocket as well because back on Raja Raja him and Sid were basically a duo. Ricky and Abbey are also extremely close as well and I don't think Abbey would vote Ricky out for a really long time. Which kind of makes me feel like it's not a good idea to necessarily go with the whole faves stick together plan. Especially when I have two people on the fans side that I trust and I think trust me as well? I also think that taking Ricky out would be a very good move for my game because it will open up the game a bit. I don't necessarily not want to work with the faves, I just don't want to work with Ricky... at all. I don't really think there's any room for growth in our relationship, and after Zach and I blindsided him the trust there is gone. Also I know Gaston is a big threat, but I don't necessarily want to make him the first merge boot and target him right away the way the faves would like to. One thing I love doing is hiding behind big threats, and using them to make sure the target is on them and not me. Sid told me that the fans felt like I was a huge threat because of everything Shae told them. But hopefully I can gain their trust and I could see myself working with them for a couple votes. Just to maybe take out Ricky? I really need Ricky out of this game cause I feel like if anyone were to create a smaller alliance from the faves, it would be him and he would probably bring together people who without him in the game probably would not think to really create an alliance or work with each other. If I see an opportunity to vote out Ricky, I would probably take it. I just feel like without him in the game, I'm in a much better position. I just don't know when it would be time to make that move, but a part of me feels like as early as this next vote, or as late as final 10. I just need to see if Ricky calms down, and starts talking to me and Zach, because it's really uncomfortable to be in an alliance with somebody who won't even talk to you. As of now, I just want Ricky out, and the fave alliance really wants to target people like Gaston, Richie, and Mist and I actually think that I can work with them for a little before I have to vote them out. I'm still torn though, because I know how big of a threat Gaston is and it isn't a good idea to allow him to make it that far because he is really personable and his social game is amazing. But working with Ricky and allowing him to go on with all these connections while I take out the only people who I know would probably make a move and vote him out when that's what I need might not be the best idea. But since faves really want to make Gaston the first merge boot, I think I might go with that and then at final 11 when the minority realize they're at the bottom I will go to them about voting Ricky out because of all his connections and I don't think it'd be that hard to get them on board. I'm trying to tell myself not to let my paranoia about Ricky make me do something really impulsive that doesn't need to be done so soon. But I just can't stop worrying about him. Dustin and Jonathan said that on Bora Bora I had he newbie jitters really badly, but I don't think it has anything to do with being a newbie I think I just have the jitters in general, cause I'm still as paranoid and I know it's not good cause it makes me turn on people who are actually loyal to me, but it's just something I can't help. I really think if Zach continues to be ignored by Ricky I could convince him into thinking that we need to make a move on Ricky, but I kinda just have to plant some seeds in his mind, let them marinate, and check on them every couple days to water them every now and then so that he will eventually be down to make a move against Ricky. I just need to make sure he really understands how many connections Ricky has, and how we will probably not be in his long term plans which makes it a very bad decision to allow him to make it to single digits. I've been trying to socialize a lot with everybody, and I'm really amping up my social game fore these first few rounds. I really do like Ashen, which is why I would like Ricky gone because I think they will be more loyal to me if he is gone, and I can potentially take them really deep into the game. Being reunited with Abbey is so amazing, and I just really love working with her and Zach. I think they're both such cool people and I want to work with them deep deep into this game. I just get along with them so well and I feel like they're genuinely great, and I just love their personalities. I hope we can work together in this game for a long time, because right now I really see them as my two closest allies. I think they trust me as much as I trust them, and I don't believe they would turn on me. I think I can also work with Mist and TQ as well, and taking them out would be taking out someone who could be a number for me. I love TQ and I'm pretty sure he's loyal to me, and I'm not sure how I feel about Mist but this first tribal council of the merge should tell me a lot. But I think he would trust me because I basically saved him this last vote, even though I did as well try to vote him out the vote before. Me and Sherry have talked as well, and I really like her, but I know Sid will always be more close with her than me, and she will always be loyal to him because of how much they talked on Raja Raja and Sherry doesn't really like the fans and wanted to flip on them with Sid and Abbey. When it comes down to it, I feel like working with the faves alliance and being blindly loyal to them would be a mistake. Because everybody but me has a tight connection in the alliance. I have nobody who is closer to me than to anybody else in that alliance. That person was Kaci, but she's on the pre-jury trip right now so that's unfortunate. I feel like if I do have a number 1 it would be Zach, but he's definitely way more loyal to abbey than he is to me. I think taking out Ricky will allow me to strengthen a bond with Ashen and maybe even Sid if they not furious about me not voting with them for a vote. So I'm stuck on when is the right time to take out Ricky, and I hope that by doing that I don't make people think I'm untrustworthy because it would go really bad because I really need to work on gaining some of these people's trust. That's all I really have to say right now... Wish me luck I guess.

This challenge is annoying. Ricky told me to go after TQ bc he targeted RIcky in the practice rounds and then Ricky didnt even try???????? I'm mad tbh like I put myself in the line of fire and he didnt even try???? 

I'm literally crying over my friend right now who just got out of surgery and I could barely be there to comfort her because Ricky was going off on me today. And he was about to go off on me tonight until I stopped him from doing so, and his response was still sorta cold and fake. I'm honestly so overwhelmed with this season. Right now I'm being bullied, shat upon and kicked while personal shit is also going on. And Abbey is the only one comforting me as I'm crying right now over all the shit I'm going through. Can I not get a fucking break? I can't do another season after this. I cant do this anymore. It's just too much for me to handle and it's too much added drama. It started as a fun season but now Ricky is kicking me when I'm already down and it just really hurts. Like I don't know what our relationship is going to be like after the game but he's seriously hurting me and pushing me to almost want to quit even though I'd never do that. I just didn't know he could be so mean. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or in the future or anything but I can't take much more. I think this will be my last season, main and side. It's too much on my personal life, especially if I almost missed being there for my best friend as she was coming out of surgery because of this game. I don't know. I'm just..... I'm just so emotional about all this. I've never been treated so badly. I still like Ricky but he's really making me feel like shit and I am stronger than that. I might disappear if things get really worse. Like I'll be here but I wont do calls anymore, ill try challenges, and all that. I don't want to quit this game. But I also don't want the emotional abuse. Lord help me. I never cry. But right now it's too much for me. It's all just too much. 

I'm probably too emotional to leave another confessional but it's helping me feel better tbh. I want to talk about Abbey, because I really admire her and I truly am appreciative I met her in this community. I really love her. I really do. She's so sweet and loving and she's always there for you. No matter what the issue she's always there for you and she always knows what to do to make you feel so much better. I'm just really glad she's in this game with me because I don't know what I would do without her. I really hope she wins this season. I really hope she goes far and shows everyone just how amazing she really is. I really love her, and I'm getting tears all over my keyboard but thinking of her really makes me smile and I need that right now. Thank you Abbey so much for being there. Thank you for getting me trhough tonight. I won't forget it and I'm so unbelievably grateful. I'm a true cancer god. Look at me I'm a hot mess tonight. I never get bullied emotionally and called a fucking idiot by someone, so it's just a shock for me and that;s why I'm emotional right now. I'm going to bed right now. And I'm probably not going to log on tomorrow because I just need to get away. I need to stop playing for just a few hours. Escape the mean comments and aggression and just live normally again. That's all I want. I miss that life. Good night everyone. You're maybe not so fav emotional wreck is leaving. It's been.... literally not fun.

I wake up to Richie having hit all the faves that were asleep. Hes so transparent I gtg. I didnt think I would be upset, but I am. He was vocal about throwing to get me out and now hes not being subtle about trying to get me out now he can fuk off. I literally can't believe this went to shit so fast. Ricky is like attacking Zach now?? when he has 9000 personal things going on that are really important and he relly doesnt need this rn. I just,  I cant let this game weigh on Zach rn when he has so much to deal with but he doesnt want to stir anything up bc hes such a good guy. Zach deserves the world

So at the beginning of the individual immunity challenge I was out the gate targeting Ricky. Partly because I wanted to knock him down a few points so that I could ensure he didn't win this challenge but it was mostly because I just wanted to, and because I wanted him to know that I was overtly coming for him. It was a really personal thing, that I now regret because it probably wasn't best my game. Eddie messaged me and told me I needed to stop because Sid, Ricky and Abbey were talking about targeting me for what I was doing. Part of me was like "So fucking what? What are their puny numbers going to do?" and then I immediately got scared because I know that anyone who feels safe probably isn't as safe as they think they are. So I stressed for a bit and then I decided to make nice with Ricky. Even if it's a fake nice, I've got to appear sympathetic. I'm planning on taking a page from Ricky's page later tonight when I talk to him and making myself like the hurt victim, and hopefully that's enough to keep me out of the faves' crosshairs. I decided to completely recuse myself from the challenge and I'm hoping that after my talk with Ricky, some of the other people who spent their days targeting faves like Richie and Mist have made bigger targets out of themselves than I did. We'll see.

On 2016-07-13, at 10:01 PM, Thomas wrote: > 

Ricky to me on call: I want thomas to do that to me

HEY. So...Sid has official made the Maldives merge! Next step? Final Tribal Council. A lot has happened, and I just want to vote all these people out today. So, pre-merge: Sherry told me she has an Idol. I don't know how I feel about that yet, but if a fan has to have it, I'm glad it's her. Other than that, Ricky/Zach/Eddie fucked everything up on Ashoka and the Favorites are in shambles. We're trying to stick together to vote out Gaston, but all the Fans are dead set on voting Ricky. I swear they're going to Pagong us if we don't change something fast. I'm praying for another Idol when I go searching in a couple minutes. At least I can lay low at the Merge, because Eddie and Abbey are much bigger targets than me, and I've aligned myself with the Fans. Well, some of them. Sherry is quickly climbing the ladder of who I trust. It all depends on if she'll be with me after this vote. Thomas is flaking on me, and is getting on my nerves. Mist seems like an emotional voter. TQ seems shortsighted and stupid. Gaston is the biggest threat on here, and is in such a good position that it's scary. And then there's Ashen, who shows up for a vote then disappears. I think I'm forgetting someone...oh, yeah! Richie. Yeah, he's there. I guess? I don't even care about Fans or Favorites. I just want a good group to take with me. I'm playing on the bottom of the tribe, but the top of the bottom. If that makes sense? Ideal group would be me, Sherry, Ricky, Abbey, Zach, Thomas. But that doesn't look like it'll happen. How fun.

What the hell is wrong with these loseroonies? Why are we so blatantly voting for Ricky?!? Like hello this game is idol paradise we can't just cockily strut around telling people what we are doing. Like I want that pink sl*t gone, but our lack of tact means we may need to switch it up.

Why hello there! Long time no see, yeah? Actually, it's been about half an hour. I didn't find the Idol. It'll happen next time, so keep hope alive. Other than that, I've been busting my ass to save Ricky's. So the Fans have 7 and the Faves have 5. Teddy did some "pick a food!" thing and nobody knows what it was about. Well, I'm sure some people do, but I don't. Anyways, with the 7 Fans all voting Ricky, it would be a shame if Ricky had an idol, right? He doesn't, but I can feign it. The Fans don't have the numbers to split right now, so I waltzed up to Gaston and I told him straight. "They're voting for you and Ricky got an Idol in his Pink Lemonade" and Gaston was all "What clue?" So I pulled some puns out of my ass and told him Ricky's clue was "Here is a TREEt Sand we hope you appreciate it!" Because Ricky went Idol searching at the sand near Treemail. So I told Gaston that Abbey and I would vote with him so that they can split. Hopefully he buys it because I may have been a little over the top. So now the vote is 5 Ricky, 4 Zach, 3 Gaston. But, when Abbey and I flip on the Fans, it'll be 5 Gaston, 4 Zach, 3 Ricky. If it works. God, I hope it works. I'll keep you updated but Abbey needs to lie super well for this to work. Ricky: you owe me if you stay.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz3Ol_KZ8Uw

GOD. Merge is cracked. All 7 Fans are being trying to Pagong the Faves. How cute is that? Sherry and Thomas flaked, Gaston is sitting pretty with his minions. Sorry, did I say minions? I meant Richie, TQ and Ashen. Even minions have names. How insensitive of me. I'm not even sure if the vote will be against me tonight, but, if this is my last confessional, thanks to Teddy/Shelby/Lydia and I love Abbey and Ricky. I tried so hard to get the vote on Gaston, but it's just going to work. If it's not me tonight, and it is Ricky like I heard, then I don't know how far I can make it forward. I do know Sherry has an idol, but everyone could know by now. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? THIS IS SURVIVOR. DO ALL OF THEM EXPECT TO MAKE FTC BY STICKING WITH THE FANS? IT'S FUCKING INSANE. Eddie flipped on the Faves, and I knew he would. Honestly, I haven't liked Eddie ever since the Sarah vote. I'm over these people, and I'm half-hoping that it's me tonight so that I won't have to be fake to them any fucking longer. SHSHDDJSJ. Okay, I'm overreacting. Sherry reassured me that it would be Ricky going tonight, and that she would get the Fans to take out Gaston next. Fuck Eddie and whatever he's trying to do, but he can go right after Gaston. My hitlist is Gaston, Eddie then Richie. So, Ricky will be voting Gaston, everyone but Abbey and I are voting Ricky, and Abbey and I are going to be votin for Richie. I figured that if Gaston didn't get a lot of votes on him, he wouldn't freak out next round. So, here's to hoping tonight goes accordingly. It could still be me. I fucking hate Merges.

Shit popped off today, I dont really want to get into it bc im tired and im sure someone else explained it. But basically Ricky is unsaveable as far as I can see. I tried eveerything but I dont think theres anything I can so. I risked my relationship with Thomas, Gaston and Eddie to try and save him. But I think that the best bet for me and my alliance is to vote with majority, I wont vote for Ricky bc I said i would never so I'll vote for Richie bc thats the vote I can justify. I worked it out with Gaston too, he was upset i threw his name out but I explained myself and were good. Gaston is such a good guy I love him already but that's why he cant get any farther in this game. He said he would be down for working with me and honestly if me Sid and Zach can hitch a ride that wouldnt be the worst thing in the world. I also dont even know if Zach is down for Sid, hes hard to read sometimes idk. 

CONFESSIONAL:::::: so the merge is fucking crazy..........I LOVE IT. so of course I wanted to work with my old nuAshoka babes, so right now I have Zach/Eddie/TQ and right when I get back into merge I get pulled in by Sherry, "hey I want to resume this alliance here, let's go" Like GOD YES. I love this woman, she's such an icon. And she comes up to me and tells me like hey, I hated amanda, thanks for voting her out like... I love this woman.... So much............. Right after this, she pulls me into the big Fans chat which I'm really ugh about. Like I don't want the merge to become just a big Pagong against the Faves. I want to work with some of the Faves if I can so working with all the Fans up till final 7 is nOT in my game plan.

well, i tried my best to save Ricky, and i prob could have done it too if my dad wasnt sent to the ER today. i feel like if i could have gotten him past this vote he would have taken me to f2 with him. he must have trusted me a lot from pervious games that we have played in. but i really need to focus on staying with the fans and see where that gets me.