#deceased!sam

Ever since your husband died the bunker seemed like the quietest place on Earth. On a rare occasion you'd have to crawl into Dean's bed with him, tears spilling from your eyes. You'd wake up from the nightmare. 

It seemed to happen all over again. You lost Sam during a hunt and you knew the repears wouldn't let him come back. So you truly lost him for good. The two of you along with your daughter had to give him the hunter's send off. You couldn't even stand as you crumbled to the ground; the wood crackling and the smell of burning flesh. 

The nightmare would always be so vivid like you were reliving it. Your heart would wrench as you'd sometimes wake up and vomit from it all. Dean would always comfort you back to sleep. It was a promise he made long ago to his brother.  Before Sam even planned on proposing, he begged Dean to look after you if anything happened. Dean of course promised to do just that. Then when your daughter came he took up watching her as well. 

However, it wasn't hard on just you. Dean had trouble as well. The two of you'd find comfort in one another, leaning on each other's shoulders. 

Your daughter Vera would often times push the two of you away. She'd pretend to be okay just like Dean had done in the beginning. She'd try to remain strong for the two of you. It was a trait she earned from both of the Winchester boys. Vera held more attributes of her father's than just that. 

From a young age she was interested in hunting. However you and Sam agreed that she had to be much older first. And when the time came, that's exactly what she wanted. The four of you hunted as a family. It was an adjustment for you. You had spent years with her just being a mother, but it didn't take long for you to slip back into it. Hunting was second nature to you after all. 

While on the road you'd homeschool her, saving her from moving school to school. Sam had went through it and in no way wanted her to deal with the hassle. 

Vera was smart and ruthless. She loved to learn like Sam did. You remember often times catching him reading to her when she was younger. Then as she grew they'd be in the library with books and papers spread all around. She picked things up quickly and amazed you with all the knowledge she held. She was very talented as well. Occasionally the attributes she earned from you would show. Her stubbornness put her in more trouble than what it was worth.

Sometimes she'd be clouded by her anger as well. She'd make snap judgements and regret them later. Her heart was big and she cared too much. Or times she'd care too little. 

Within the last month Vera shifted. She no longer kept you and Dean at a distance. Instead, she shoved you away completely. She'd sneak into the bunker late at night. The only reason you knew was that you or Dean would hear her coming in. 

Although last night she never came home. You sat up in the library expecting her to walk through that door at any minute. But it never came. By nine in the morning Dean woke up. He found you sitting up, dark circles formed around your puffy, red eyes. 

"Y/N? What's wrong?" 

"It's Vera..... She didn't come in last night..." 

Dean gulped and sat next to you, taking your hand, "Hey.... I'm sure she's fine. She knows how to handle herself.... How about we call her?" 

"I- I can't," you stuttered out. Tears began to fall down your face again, "I can't... What if I call her and she doesn't pick up? What if something has happened to her Dean? I can't lose her.... I just lost Sam not that long ago.... If I lose her Dean, I will break even more.... I'll be done.... I can't handle it.... Not right now... Not ever." 

Dean nodded, "I know. I'll call her. If she doesn't answer we'll go look for her okay? Go get changed." 

You slowly nodded your head and left the room. 

Dean quickly called Vera's phone. He sighed with relief when she answered. 

"Hey--" 

Dean quickly interrupted her, "You young lady.... Your mother is worried sick. Where the hell are you?" 

"Whoa take a chill pill, Uncle Dean. Just bring mom to the local talent show?" 

Dean's brows furrowed, "Local talent show? Isn't that a thing for high schoolers? You don't go to school...." 

"Yeah it usually is. But it's a local talent show. Which means anyone can join. Just bring my mom here?"  Dean sighed, "Just text me the address...." 

Vera ended the call and sent him the address. The two of you went to the location she was at. There was a small crowd and a table of judges. You looked around worried. But your worries were soon washed away when your daughter took the stage. She walked up to the mic as another girl sat at the piano. It was probably the friend Vera recently made. 

The girl began playing as your daughter's voice rang throughout the room. It was powerful and full of emotion. It hit you like a bag of bricks. Slowly, it became clear that this was what she had been doing those nights out. Practicing.  Vera's voice cracked a bit as tears welled up in her eyes. 

Your face matched hers. You quietly weeped into your hand that now cupped over your mouth. The water works ran down your face as a mixture of sadness and joy. It had been a long time since the latter happened. Needless to say you were proud of her. 

Dean looked over and rubbed your back tenderly. You could see a stream glistening down his stubbled face. When Vera's singing subsided everyone clapped. She had to wipe her face before getting off stage, making her way towards you. 

You wrapped her in your arms tightly, "Your father would be so proud of you....." 

"I know.... But mom, maybe it's time we stopped sitting around in the bunker crying? Dad wouldn't want this.... We should be out there again.... Saving people, hunting things, the family business."