#debuendiente

HELP ME DEVELOP DRACO !!! / accepting.

before finding out about his father , lucius is of course draco’s biggest fear. draco has always seemed to be a reflection of , and a testament to , lucius’s insecurities. most things that draco does is with the hope of appeasing lucius , and at the root , draco just … fears him ? beyond that , i can’t say draco loves him. i can’t say that draco is capable of loving anyone , not in a way that is absent or independent of ulterior motive or personal gain. the closest thing would be narcissa. that’s his mother , but ( and this is an assumption so you can tell me about this ) , i just feel like the secret of his paternity is one of those secrets that creates its own kind of unrelenting tension ? like it’s always there , especially since narcissa has to constantly watch draco take the brunt of lucius’s wrath and disdain. and i don’t see lucius taking it out on narcissa due to narcissa not taking that shit , but again , that’s just an assumption. 

with that being said , i think a lot of draco’s relationship with lucius is developed AWAY FROM narcissa. because even in the books , usually draco is either with one parent or the other. it’s never the two of them really. narcissa wasn’t there when lucius got into a fucking fist fight with arthur weasley. she is just as formidable when she is around , but the thing about narcissa is that when she says something , draco knows she means it. whereas , with lucius , draco knows he’s bullshitting to everyone else EXCEPT draco. threats made to draco are almost always followed through unless a ) draco manages to hide behind his mother or grandfather or b ) lucius has other business to tend to that draws his attention. and what is more , lucius is constantly trying to thin the bond draco has with abraxas , who is the only solid role model or confidante draco has. and when abraxas dies , THAT is when draco’s disdain for lucius begins. so it’s already in motion by the time this all comes to light. 

overall though , there is nothing admirable to draco about lucius apart from his status. and even that wasn’t entirely earned because one , most of it is just an extension of abraxas or the malfoy name in general and two , the rest of it stems from the other death eaters going to prison. so really , what draco sees in lucius is a shadow to walk in or shoes to fill. nothing more or less. it’s just … his father. he has a duty to his father. that’s that. 

now after the bomb is dropped and he finds out who his father is —and also after he finds out his father is literally one of voldemort’s most trusted and actually went to prison for doing some real shit in the war— that whole idea of lucius is misconstrued. it changes drastically , and fast. because now , lucius doesn’t seem all that cool or important or crucial to the cause. all of lucius’s stories about being superior to others falls short because first , i guarantee that , if lucius is smart , he is ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED of the lestranges. all fucking three of them. and then he royally fucks up with the diary , and that comes to light after voldemort returns , so draco realizes pretty fast that lucius isn’t superior to anyone. he is as much a pawn to voldemort as draco is to him. he was never top - tier anything. abraxas was but not lucius. he inherited his slot , never earned it. whereas the lestranges did both and have been highly regarded from beginning to end. and so now , lucius doesn’t seem all that scary. 

and then once rabastan knows ? draco never has to worry about lucius again.

now i imagine that lucius —and this is based wholly on the fact that narcissa is the bigger person— finds out pretty soon after rabastan does. at the very least , as soon as he gets out of azkaban. and by then , the lestranges know , so it really doesn’t matter one way or the other. they’ve already taken over draco’s protection in full , and narcissa probably tells him out of sheer courtesy ? again , you can tell me lol. but regardless , draco’s idolization of lucius malfoy deteriorates at a break - neck speed after that for a number of reasons. 

first , that’s not his father lmao. 

second , lucius malfoy couldn’t even last a year in azkaban. he comes out looking a whole ass mess whereas rabastan comes out almost about the same as he was before. now obviously his skills have suffered. he’s not as great a dueler , but he was never much of one before. he preferred to do business more brutally , more up , close and personal if you will. he liked to use his bear hands or a good blade , a habit he shared with bella during the second war. but rabastan is still … some kind of kind. he has empathy for others. he’s still overwhelmingly respected among the death eaters. and it is absolutely obvious that he still loves narcissa. and for draco , it is such an alarming thing. because draco has never seen anything like the look in his father’s eyes when he first sees his mother and him together. rabastan , who was denied love all of his life , who was told he would never marry or have a family , and then followed what family he had into the dark , was still able to love. and that fucks draco up. but it also gives him hope that maybe his weaknesses aren’t weaknesses at all. maybe it’s okay to be exhausted with all the bullying and the fighting and the childhood grudges. and yeah of course , right after that he’s told he has to kill albus fucking dumbledore but anyway … 

now third , draco is most mad , after knowing everything , that lucius married his mother and not his father. what would have happened if his father had married her ? would he have still gone to prison ? would he have tried harder not to ? would draco’s entire life be different ? better ? the answers to all this is probably yes , and draco believes that whole - heartedly , so there is a lot of bitterness to go around for all of his parents although he doesn’t hate his mother and father. he IS angry with his grandfather cygnus. and he’s angry with rabastan’s parents , who i’m sure are probably still fucking alive jfc , but he can understand what his parents were up against later on , and so he doesn’t stay upset with them for long at all. and plus , like , his mom was a good mom ? if she’d not been , it would be different , but she did her best , and so he really can’t be too angry with her. she didn’t have control of any of that.

another reason draco’s idea of lucius changes is because draco is now IN THESE MEETINGS. he sees how voldemort treats lucius. he realizes that lucius is a very different person standing in front of those lesser than him than he is sitting before voldemort. and yeah , draco is scared. he’s fucking terrified , but he’s supposed to be able to look to his father for strength. to lucius. and he can’t. instead , he finds that in rabastan , who is sitting there fucking bartering with THE DARK LORD HIMSELF for draco’s safest route , who is going to FENRIR FUCKING GREYBACK and ensuring his safety. rabastan , who has been his father —in technical terms— for just a few fucking days is doing more for him than lucius ever did and , apparently , ever can do so. yeah , there is nothing left to love or admire or desire in lucius. and ironically enough , lucius himself taught draco that people are only as important as what they can do for you. 

she looks angry when she says it, and he thinks that’s fitting considering how it is forced through clenched teeth and rigid jaw. still, it lands between them like a silk handkerchief, light and pooling, his eyes falling to the space where it should be. his fingers twitch.

“ and you’re still the person i want to share new things with. ”

he looks exhausted when he says, and he thinks that’s fitting considering how it is forced over heavy tongue and numbed lips. and it lands with a feline grace right beside her admission, rendering his desire to be petty and sardonic mute. 

she does not mean for it to be an invitation. he takes it as one anyway. 

“ do you care enough yet? for my secrets? ” a pause, and he swirls his glass, a ruse. he wishes to look contemplative, but the truth is that he is nervous. she cannot see, but sweat forms at the back of his neck, a tell. “ not just enough to listen. you must, but... enough to keep them or - just enough to give them away? ”

he’d given her the power to upend him months ago. any ammunition offered now is nothing more than supplemental, and he understands that. plus, he needs to tell SOMEONE. it may just tear him down from the inside of he neglects to, and then it won’t matter who knows or doesn’t. he’ll destroy himself. 

“ so here’s a new thing. ” he says it as though he’s about to tell her about an addition to the decor or the arrival of a new racing broom. it should be like that, but isn’t. if only it were about her. if it were about her, he wouldn’t feel so ashamed, but he does because this isn’t supposed to be his story. he isn’t supposed to be the fraud. “ my mother lied, about my father. — he wasn’t a - coy pureblood with cold feet. ”

if there was anyone who could spin a lie better than blaise, it would be his mother. and of course that all makes sense, but blaise had never seen himself as a mark, especially not for isabel. however, the truth remains. he was the first.

honestly, you’ve been very straightforward and succinct so far and there’s nothing wrong with being uncomfortable with a character who doesn’t WANT to be pregnant being forced to carry to term (regardless of the out of universe/in-universe reasons for it)

yeah and i just!!!! i don’t want it to come off like i’m dragging the behind-the-scenes reasons for it or complaining that a pregnant woman got treated with respect and accomodated in her workplace because that shit is awesome and revolutionary in and of itself. 

i’m ecstatic for melanie and i’m glad she was able to work comfortably while pregnant without it being treated as a detriment or like it’d prevent her from doing her job. she’s fab. her acting is fab. i’m happy she’s happy.

“One moment, please,” he calls as he slides a crate of smaller cauldrons onto the inventory shelf. “I’ll be right with you.” He dusts his hands off as he reenters the main room of the shop, bland smile already in place, but he comes to a stop as he realizes who it is.

Dad was answered HERE, and so was stepmom kinda, but i’m gonna keep on keeping on with the relationship with his moms because it is so important. And there will also be some more tidbits about mom and pop.

so ephraim’s mom, kamila, was always a very quiet and reserved woman. she shared her fortunes and foreshadows, and she loved interpreting her children’s dreams and that of the like. her relationship with ephraim was always so very wholesome when he was a boy. she loved to talk about how she had foreseen him being a full wizard, and she loved how bright and curious he was. and he was so loving. he was a mama’s boy to an extent, loved being around his mother, but he of course got swept under his father’s wing pretty quickly being the firstborn son. as abubakar began to spiral, ephraim’s relationship with his mother became strained because ephraim sort of blamed her for allowing his father to become a brute. he felt as though she may have had something to do with his illness and if not, she wasn’t doing anything about it at least. so he resented her a bit, enough really, for a long time in the final months of his father’s life and then after. then aaleyah came in the picture.

so i think it was instinct for ephraim to compare Aaleyah to not only his father but also his mother. when she first entered their lives, his father had only just passed, and she had just come back to the area. she had originally come to his mother about dreams that she’d had, and she started to come quite often within a few months although ephraim was at school for the most part, so he didn’t realize how much time she spent in the asomugha home. when he came home during his winter break to celebrate the incoming year with his family, he found that this woman was still hanging around, helping his mother around the house and even bonding with his sisters. he didn’t mind. he knew it was hard for his family especially without him there to cope with their father’s death. yeah, all of them felt some variation of relief, but there were other ways he left a void. financially was a big one, and his mother was forced to sell her craft again, and she did so many readings and things that she began to neglect the kids. but aaleyah seemed to help alleviate that issue when she was around because she was paying so much attention to ephraim’s siblings, but he still didn’t think much of it. 

regardless, yeah of course he compared aaleyah to abubakar, his father, because the entire family still had trauma to wade through. they still had nightmares and feared  that it was a dream, that he would come back and damn them for moving forward without him. it was hard on all of them, but one thing ephraim didn’t want was to invite another devil into their home, and so he vetted her. god, he did. he asked so many questions, inquired about the most private parts of her life, and questioned her answers even further. in all that time, she urged him to continue. she was firm and fierce but not defensive. she was honest, and she also allowed him to learn some things about himself in her counter-analysis of him. they spent hours going back and forth, matching banter and inquisition alike, and he learned a lot without really meaning to. finding out she was a witch truly gave him a solid foundation too because she taught him so much about different magic in the world. she had worked for the british ministry before coming back, and she gave him a lot of different secrets and tricks about how things worked. at first, he didn’t really appreciate it as much as he could, but as time went on, he understood how crucial it was to him in the long run.