me, seeing the robot thing in metalhead: :O doggo!
robot: [starts shooting everyone in the head]
me: :O bad doggo!
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me, seeing the robot thing in metalhead: :O doggo!
robot: [starts shooting everyone in the head]
me: :O bad doggo!

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my moms since-highschool best friend is dying completely unexpectedly. her kidneys and liver are failing and she's going into hospice. i grew up with her daughter and she always was another parent/mom in my life. her daughter is a year younger than me. we went camping all the time, i stayed at their house constantly. i remember their string of dogs and going to her daughters fear factor themed birthday party where i tried tapioca pudding for the first time ("goosebumps", we were 9-11 i think)
it hasn't really hit me, i don't deal with death or loss well i don't think and spend most of my time not thinking about it but every time i do i just. sit and cry and i'm trying so hard to let myself feel it but whew!!! whew.
and i won't be able to see her if she passes or be able to attend anything because of covid and i rarely feel like i need to be there for. events but my heart hurts so much
I had the most wonderful dream about George. He was kind of flitting in and out of it as he was when he was young, and I spoke to him a little bit but not much. Then at the end I was in a pub, walking around, and I came to some men sitting at a table. I tapped one of the men on the back and he turned around and it was George, as he was when he was older, just before he died. He gave me a beautiful smile and then stood up and I hugged him for a long time, and I felt like I was protecting him. It was so lovely. It just felt so nice.
im so tired i wish i was dead but i made pan cake for breakfast but i'm going to go back to sleep and get up at like 9:45 lol
im supposed to be writing a 10 page paper on gender but instead im mildly disassociating and thinking about burning at the stake LOL

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i want one of those freak accidents where the passenger side gets totaled and then the driver walks away without a scratch
idfk no words i have can possibly like ever really communicate how hopeless and depressed i feel most of the time and that's very cool i love constantly fantasizing about dying