#dearpatient

Dear patient,

Something happening over 6 months does not count as an emergency.

Dear patient,

When you get annoyed at me and say you’ve forgotten the role I played in your care after organising your tests and reporting back to you the outcome of those tests; and you proceed to say that it’s nothing personal, you forget that I’ve been on my feet all day and am hungry, knowing in the back of my mind that I have more things to do when I get home- then yes it’s personal. You’re now down on my Horrible Patient’s list. 

Dear Patient

Here are some things you need to know about me:

1. I’m great at prioritizing. I do it all day. So while you’re waiting in anger because you asked for another soda cracker 10 whole minutes ago, I’m on the phone with the MD because my other patient’s blood pressure is tanking. Sorry for the wait.

2. I can read between the lines. You’re allergic to morphine, fentanyl, and oxy and the only one you think you can get is the one that, “…uh, starts with an, uh, ‘d’ or something…” and I need to push it “really fast.” Yeah, the only thing I heard is, “I’m a drug addict.”

3. I can’t be “late” on your PRN (as needed) pain medications. They’re as needed: you call when you need them, and I bring them as soon as I can. I’ll bring the medications you ACTUALLY need on schedule, so you can set your alarm for those and then tell me, “You’re late.”

4. If your family is in the room, I'm not coming in unless they come out and tell me you stopped breathing. Nothing is more annoying than trying to provide care for you while your family sits and stands in the way because they've never seen a T.V. before.