#dearken

Maybe I’m not really inlove with you. Maybe I’m just in love with the idea of love and it just so happen that you were there wherever my mind wanders. Maybe it’s just an infatuation. Maybe you are just someone that reminds me what love feels like. Perhaps an epitome of love. Maybe, just maybe.

I can hear your voice replaying on my mind 💙

I honestly don’t know anymore. There’s so much i want to say to you, but dili nako masulti nimo straight to your face. Daghan kaayo kog issues sa akong life, samot na akong insecurities but you stayed. Never gyud ko naka sulay nga masuko ka nako or kung mu tukar akong pagka maldita dili nimu sabayan. Karon rako naka realize na even before, 2014 pa lang wala gyud ko nakadungog nimo ni ingon kag “bahala ka oi” or anything na maka cause ug kalagot. It was me all along who was very pushy and ako lang pd diay nag push sa akong self away from you. I have my reasons though, and i had to do it back then. Naa sd kay sala but you never pushed me away. Anyway, that was in the past. You came back and nag mature naka pag ayo. Future and dreams na nimo ang pinaka importante nimo karon. Although from time to time makigcommunicate gihapon ka nako bisag panagsa nalang. I don’t know unsaon nako pag penetrate sa imong life sa sobra nimo ka busy sa work feeling nako istorbo nlang ko para nimo. Pero believe me Ken, ganahan ko mu help nimo whatever your plans in life. Kung kinahanglan ko mag study para makakat-on sa imong gipang buhat i will if i have the means. Ganahan kaayo ko ma part sa imong dreams. Pero sa akong pagka insecure especially sa imong status sa life, taas na kaayo ka and ako nagstart pa lang dili gyud ko makasulod sa imong life. Dili pud ko parehas sa imong mga ex ka gwapa, ka talented ug ka bright but one thing is for sure dili tikaw biyaan pareha nila. Ganahan kaayo ko maka experience kung unsay feeling na... I want to experience everything with you Ken. Pero I doubt di gyud na mahitabo ba. Anyway, I want to be there kung magkina unsa man gani imong plano. Even if you fail, i want to be the only person who stayed. That is the reason diay na akong gipangita na no matter how many times na gipamukha sa “life” na, i should know my worth, i deserve someone who doesn’t waste my time waiting or self-love is very important, i chose to stay because I want to be there when you need me. I want to make sure you’re okay when I leave. I want to stay until i’m no longer needed.

I want to experience everything with you. When you’re sad I wanna be there right next to you just to let you know you are not alone. When you’re mad at something or anything i wanna make sure everything’s going to be alright. I will never leave your side until you have calmed yourself down. And when you are happy, I want to be the reason for that happiness.

Last new year (01-01-2020), i wore my favorite dress which is your favorite too. You would even ask me to wear it whenever we go out. You wouldn’t mind bisag kapila na nako gibalik.So, I wore it that day because i was hoping that you would come and pick me up at home even though i know it would be impossible for you to come since you were so busy preparing for media noche. But i wore it anyway, kay na miss tikaw 😁 And then, the next day you said kuhaon ko nimo and i should wear that dress kaso naa nas labhanan. 😂