#dear duchess

Dear Duchess,

Please be nice and welcome Iris to your beautiful resting place. She left us while in my arms this morning at 15 years old. We will miss her so much. I hope you still have days of sunshine and sweet grass ❤️

Dear Duchess,

I’d say Good Morning, Duchess... but it hasn’t started off in the best way.  It looks like we are saying goodbye to Spaz Cat today.  He was having issues breathing, likely due to a mass inside his sinuses, and there wasn’t enough push from his doctors to get it looked at and resolved.  

I’m angry.  Some of these veterinarians are my friends and past coworkers.  These are people I trusted to do the best thing for my animals.  But they never got a scope or scan to properly deal with this.  And now he hasn’t eaten for 5 days.  It wouldn’t matter if he did - there would be vomit shortly after.

I remember the night you “told” me it was time.  Spaz had his tell as well.  He was laying on the bathroom floor on a bathmat.  He didn’t respond to my voice or the other cats.  He is trying to die and it’s all too little, too late.  Mom is going to take him in and hopefully he won’t be suffering much longer.  Starvation is a different kind of pain and no animal deserves that.  

Take care of him.  You and Tommy and Blackberry better be ready to see your old friend.  I love you all and miss you.  I wish there was a magic wand that healed all your bodies and let you live with us forever.    Keep waiting for me.

I'm thinking of you

Dear Duchess,

I got your ashes back today. I had to open up the box so I could place some in the necklace. There were so many large pieces of bone. It's your body. But you were not in there.

I'm crying. Jon doesn't know how to comfort me. I have you close to my heart.

I love you always.

Dear Duchess,

Well, my love, it has been a week. I have been really good about not crying. Though I'm sure I will while writing this. I still miss you so much, my little soulmate. It's going to be a long existence without you by my side.

Bean has taken to meeting me at the door. Lew begs for food in the kitchen. You taught them well.

I hope you are at peace. I will write again soon.

Love,