#deadpool fic

"we've officially gone at it all night. fucking like rabbits. and i can't believe i'm saying this but, i'm fucking spent. i might need a few weeks to recover. i asked for a bone and you threw a whole skeleton at me, peanut."

you snort, rolling your eyes, "yeah, right."

"okay, fine, a week is too long." wade hums, he finds your hair and runs his hand over it, twirling a strand around his finger, "i'll be good as new by tonight or at least by the time you scroll to read another fic of me, of course."

you're still staring at him, and wade, ever the observant, notices. he shifts, sits up, holds onto your waist, and brings you up with him. you have to bite your tongue to hold back a moan, sensitive to the way he's touching you, the way his dick keeps you full.

wade raises his brows (or at least, where his brows would be), "what? is there something on my face? i know i'm ugly but i thought we were past that. your staring is making me a little self conscious, sweetbuns."

"wade?"

"yes, cupcake?"

"do you like me?"

"what-?" he stares at you, eyes wide and nearly popping out of his head. "do i- what? what the fuck kind of stupid ass fuck ass question is that? you think i don't like you? we literally fucked all night. literally did every position in the book. i let you peg me! you might be the only person on earth that matches my freak-"

"yeah, i know but-"

"bitch, i'm literally still inside you."

that's when you can't help but laugh, grinning against his neck when he wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer. you love the way his body emits warmth, and you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him even closer like you want to live inside his skin.

wade holds you, his cheek pressing against the top of your head. and he groans loudly when you say, "you never answered my question."

"oh my god," he huffs dramatically, "of course i fucking like you. like no shit."

you hear the water still running, but you finally understand how wade feels, this can’t wait. you open the bathroom door and throw the toilet lid down, unsure if wade even heard you enter over the sound of his own voice belting hall and oates’ greatest hits.

you sit down and let out an overdramatic sigh. your boyfriend’s voice quiets down halfway through “out of touch”

“honey bear? you’re home! these stab wounds will heal in about two minutes then you can join me. i know how you feel about seeing intestines, and i don’t want to make you gag…well scratch that i do sometimes—“

“i fucking hate men.”

you hear the sound of the shower curtain opening slightly, and wade’s head peaks out, looking at you with wide eyes, “woah language, babydoll! you know degradation turns me on.” his head tilts to the side, noticing the distress written on your face “but i have a feeling this isn’t about me…”

you spare him a narrowed glance, then watch as his head disappears. the curtain closes and you hear the water hit skin again as he resumes his shower. he’s giving you time to speak. remarkable.

“you remember that guy i told you about? the one that gave me major creep vibes? and was just an all around dick?”

you get a hum in response, and you can’t see it, but you know wade is physically biting his tongue so he doesn’t say anything. it’s endearing in a way.

you rub your face with your hands, the memory of what you’re about to say lights the fire of anger again, “well. guess who got that promotion i was being eyed for? i’ll give you a hint, it’s not someone with a vagina! and on top of that, i saw him try to look under my skirt as i was leaving! that fuck.”

you almost regretted telling him that last part, knowing where this was going. but your mind was clouded by frustration, and the water was already turned off. the rings screech against the metal shower rod as wade throws the curtain open, reaching over your head for a towel. “okay sweet thing. where does this cock suck and fuck live?”

your eyes catch a glimpse of red turning pink as it swirled into the tub drain. you shake your head, suddenly realizing the severity of what your mercenary boyfriend was implying. “no no babe please it’s not that serious! and you just got home. not to mention if people found out, you’d get in so much trouble all because of something silly that happened to me and—“

a long finger is placed over your lips. you’re eye level with wade’s v line, partially covered by the towel now wrapped around his waist. you trail your eyes upward, locking them with the one who interrupted your rambling.

“shhh. nonsense kitten. now. you’re going to tell me this guy’s address, and i’m going to go out for…” wade uses his free arm to look at a make believe watch, “hmm, about an hour. while i’m gone, you’re going to change out of this sexy pantsuit. then have a glass of wine, and touch yourself while you think of me fondly. i’ll grab dinner on the way home. yes?”

when you nod with wide eyes in agreement, he removes his finger, bending down to meet your face, “atta girl.” he praises as his lips graze your own, kiss light as a feather. he clears his throat then, patting your cheek a few times as he stands up to walk out of the bathroom. whistling as if murder was all in a day’s work (you suppose for him it is)

you sit there stunned, wondering if you just got your coworker murdered….and why you were so turned on.

“Goddamn, Logan,” you spoke, voice panting at the sight (overly dramatized to get Wade’s attention), “That was hot. You fight like a goddamn animal. It’s hot as fuck.”

Wade turned his head towards you so fast that it should’ve caused whiplash.

“Oh? I’m so sorry. What the actual fuck was that?”

“It’s just a compliment, Wade. You know, the kind you usually say?,” you replied, a smile lacing your mouth as you fed into his irritation.

Logan looked at you, raised a brow, his smirk still just as prominent— probably even more so now that Wade is near crashing out.

“If you ever get tired of him runnin’ his mouth, darlin’, you know where to find me. Anytime you need.”

Oh did that piss him off. He could handle a lot of jokes— hell, he’s sure that he’d thrown some to you that should’ve warranted you smacking him before, but this one? Too far.

He fucking lost it.

“Cool, cool. Sweetheart,” Wade called for you, his voice calm and collected despite the sheer rage in his veins. “Get inside.”

You laughed, that innocent smile still beaming on your face. “Oh, come on, Wade. It was just a-“

“Get. Inside. Now.”

He looked at Logan, speaking as unbothered as he could, “If you’ll excuse us, I have some internal organs that need a good rearranging. Or bruising. It’s all done lovingly.”

Logan laughed, shaking his head. “Fucking freaks.”

Wade slammed the door behind him as he moved his hand from your waist to push you inside the building.

You were already grinning, putting on an innocent façade.

“So.. you’re mad?”

“Mad? No, no, no, babycakes. Dr. Moreau was mad. I’m borderline fucking nuclear, okay? The only thing keeping me from ripping his claws out and piercing his dick with them is the overwhelming desire to fuck the sense into you.”

Ripping his mask off, he stalked towards you, picking you up and putting you over his shoulder. With a free hand, he knocked the few random items left on the diner table off onto the floor, then practically threw you down in their place. You squeaked at the force, only to be cut off by his mouth on yours.

Almost in one quick movement, he ripped your pants off and threw them— wherever they ended up is a later problem.

His mouth against yours was aggressive, like he was asserting his dominance over you. He slid his fingers down your body until his hands found their destination, gripping your thighs and pulling you down so your legs were on either side of him.

“You wanna act like you’re flirting with him? Wanna tell him he’s ‘like a goddamn animal’?”

A smile beamed on your face— one where you knew what you were planning, and what it would do to Wade.

“Baby, I wasn’t acting.”

Wrong move.

His gloved hands ripped your shirt off, the buttons flying everywhere.

You knew that would happen— you wanted it to.

He wasted no time rubbing your clit, the other hand holding onto your hip.

“Bet he can’t get this pretty little thing soaked, huh? She only wants me, not some hairy, lightly smelly, man beast from Canada. You know that as well as I do, right?”

You nodded, a whimper being your only audible answer. Wade wasn’t satisfied with that, though. Not when you were full of words not two seconds prior.

“I said, ‘Right?’, babygirl. You gonna give me a fucking reply?” His voice growled the demand, holding on tight to the usual joking tone he just naturally had. Wade grabbed you by your hair, pulling you up from the table to look at him. His grip was tight as the throbbing sensation pulsed at your scalp.

“Well?”

“Fuck- Right, Wade, just please fucking fuck me.”

He let go of your hair, pushing you back onto the table.

“Uh-uh, not yet sweetcheeks. She’s calling out for me. What’s that? You want me to eat you? Say less.”

He stepped closer to you before kneeling, throwing your legs over his shoulders.

The second his warm mouth touched your core, your breath hitched. Now, it’s not that Wade never ate you out. It’s actually the opposite. He could spend a lifetime between your legs. But right now, it’s different. The flicker of jealousy that sent him into a frenzy had charged through him to the tip of his tongue, showing itself with the messiness of his work.

Your moans acted like a cheer for him, each one encouraging him to go quicker, better, faster. The sounds were pornographic: wet clicking and slurping bounced off the walls of the restaurant. For you, his sudden jealousy-induced dominance drove you crazy. And for Wade? The sheer thought of Logan outside, waiting for you two “fucking freaks” to finish, hearing how he made you feel— it sent him reeling.

His hands held your hips, hooking under your thighs. Humming against your core as his tongue dipped into you, purposely trying to hit your clit with his nose. It was just his thing. He wanted to be buried inside of your pussy, whether it be his fingers, dick, or face.

You were close— you could feel it. You knew it. And as much as Wade wanted to stay right where he was and have you come from his mouth alone, he wasn’t done with you. Not yet, not when there’s more to do.

He pulled away from you, begrudgingly, and gave your hips one tight squeeze. Under your breath, you whispered a quick, “fuck you,” as you slammed your hand down against the table.

You raised up, desperate for his touch after leaving you so abruptly. Before you could wrap your arms around him, he took your throat in his hand, choking you as he slammed you back down.

“Nuh-uh, sugartits. Back down you go. I’m gonna make you forget all about that goddamn animal.”

He pressed the pads of his fingers just ever-so-slightly harder into your throat as he ran his dick up and down your folds.

“Goddamnit, fuck me already.”

And that was it. He slammed himself into you, gripping your legs with his free hand to hold you in place.

Your back arched with each of your barely coherent attempts of saying his name. Your arms went to each side, gripping the edges of the table to brace yourself.

“Not even 30 seconds in and I’ve already shut you up. What happened to all that cockiness? Where’s your mouth now, princess?”

“I… I-“

“Mmm.. fuck this.”

He let go of your throat, causing your eyes to shoot toward his own. With a quick shuffled movement, Wade gripped your legs, putting them each right beside his head. He kissed your ankle, his eye contact not breaking. Both arms were on the outside of your legs as they braced him for his change of position. Your body folded like a sheet of paper under him.

“You wanna be a brat to me, baby? Then I guess I’ll just have to breed the attitude out of you.”

“Wade—“

“Nope. Too late. You did this to yourself. Gonna have to put a mini-me into you so deep that your fucking bones remember me.”

The thrusts of his hips were quicker, more precise now. His dick slid deeper into your cunt than before— ever before— thanks to his newfound idea of this position. You moaned loud, clenching around him desperately. There’s no way Logan doesn’t hear you calling out Wade’s name, cracking at each snap into you.

And God, did you hope he heard.

Your eyes started to slowly tear up from the relentless fucking; from the stretch, the speed, the filth he’s telling you. All of that alone was enough to make you come.

“This pussy is mine. Say it.”

You whimper, body starting to shake as your orgasm quickly approached.

“Yours, Wade. Fuck, she’s all yours.”

“Fucking right she is.”

He tilted his head to kiss your jaw, then down to your neck. Alternating between biting down hard and soothing the area with little ghosts of kisses, he stays right there as you moaned louder and louder, and then a cry.

You came hard, convulsing under him with your legs shaking under his strong arms. The sounds of your bodies slapping together as he fucked you through your orgasm filled your ears. So much so that you could barely register him coming soon after you, until you noticed the slowing speed and heavy breathing against your skin.

His come seeped into you, flooding your core just as he said he wanted to. With the blink of an eye, he releases your legs and pulls out, watching as it leaked out of you. He smiled a shit-eating grin, proud of his mess. Two of his gloved fingers slid between your legs to push his come back in. Well, more like stuffing it— determined to not let a single drop of it go to waste.

“Yep, that should keep it. Just think about wobbling past Logan as it drips out of you. See if he’s still willing to hit on you when you’re incubating our child.”

As your heavy breathing calms, you flash him a smile back, biting your lip.

Wobbling or not, you were going to do your damnedest to strut.

You’re full, sore, and marked, all at the hands of Wade Wilson.

And fuck, does it feel good to know you’re the only one getting that. Even if you have to piss him off to get there.

No doubts about it; Logan would definitely critique Wade’s skills just to see the rage radiate off of him. It’s not easy to really piss him off, but the Wolverine knew exactly how to get under his skin: You.

he wouldn’t give a fuck that you work a regular 9-5 at first, he just needed to play with you.

that quickly changed when you’d reject him often so he’d memorize your work schedule and would bug you the second you got off work instead.

you’d fold and meet right after, going inside his crappy apartment and sucking him off because you both needed it.

other times he’d drop to his knees to eat you out once the door was shut.

he wasn’t that much of an asshole. he could have his gentlemanly moments too.

this specific time you both wanted to give head and he didn’t wanna talk. just wanting to have your pussy as his only meal of the day but you stood firm on needing his cock in your mouth.

what was the solution to this problem, you might ask?

a simple number.

69.

his hands were gripped firmly on your ass, wanting you to grind against his face because he didn’t care to breathe but you didn’t wanna push your luck on him passing out so you refrained from doing so.

meanwhile you were taking him all the way down your throat and coming back up to tease his tip just the way he liked it.

he knew there was a reason he didn’t need any other friends with benefits.

hell, he even cut ties with the spider and that says something.

he knew that you knew just what he liked and it was hard to find something like that so he wasn’t letting you free.

worst part might be the fact that he’d slowly feel himself become attached to you, so much so that his body physically needed you on him somehow 25/8.

so this 69 matter didn’t bother him whatsoever.

especially since you were taking such good care of him like always.

now enough of that, we know you’re here for the porn!

he pulled away from your pussy, lips glistening with your slick and sighed, “just like that baby-“

“don’t fucking stop- fucking love that cock, don’t you?”

“yeah I know you do, don’t even gotta say it….”

you just rolled your eyes at him quickly hearing, “I heard that!”

you did it again, ignoring him completely and continuing your previous pace.

the thing was he wasn’t wrong. at all.

you just don’t feel like admitting to it so maybe things wouldn’t get so serious.

neither of you were looking for that so this was all it’ll be.

meaningless but fun sex.

surely.

he was still rambling so you stopped, “get back to work Wilson, c’mon or I’ll find someone who doesn’t yap my ear off.”

he groans and went straight in as if he didn’t pull away. you smiled and took him back in your mouth, taking all of him down your throat as you slowly bounced your ass on him.

his hands smacked it instantly, and his mouth worked its magic. you even started to grind slowly against his tongue making him moan.

he twitched in your mouth and it made you shiver, as well as somehow make you more wet.

his tongue was slipping in and out of your hole, collecting every savory drop of you as his hands helped you grind on him faster.

you focused on his cock as much as you could because this could easily go sideways if he makes you feel too good.

and you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of that or making his ego grow ten times bigger.

the world didn’t need that.

so you moved your head as fast as you could, taking all of him down your throat and licking the underside of his shaft. you felt him moan against you again and you were losing it.

it was like you had no control of your bottom half which you really didn’t. wade took full control and was making sure you were grinding on his mouth just how he wanted.

how he needed.

you had no choice to take it, and trying your absolute hardest to not come but it was hard not to.

you were fighting it and he knew.

luckily he was also getting close and you knew that too.

his thighs were giving him away and he was twitching more than before. you moaned against him as he sucked on your clit and he flicked it with the tip of his tongue at the same time.

you were both going fast, making it a quick competition and not wanting to be the first to lose.

sadly there had to be a loser.

you came first, it hit you suddenly and he didn’t slow down for nothing as you came on his mouth. he was moving his mouth all over, collecting your slick and moaning as he came down your throat.

you swallowed it and bobbed your head back and forth a few times to make sure he fully came.

he pulled away and groaned, “fuck! jesus stop- you’ll kill me!”

you hummed against him and before he could beg again, you slipped him out of your mouth and licked your lips.

“thought you couldn’t die Wilson.”

“maybe with that mouth I will.”

—

wade would quickly become a tad bit obsessive.

the tiniest bit.

sure some would call being outside your apartment for hours waiting for you to come home borderline psychotic… but the reality was, that was nothing.

sure maybe he’d stick around after a fuck session on top of a tree, roof, or light post if he was desperate to get a glimpse of you.

and he was quickly becoming even worse by the day.

he was becoming a borderline stalker and was somehow appearing in places near you even though he didn’t live in the neighborhood.

the only place that wasn’t so surprising was your work because it was near his place.

even then just hearing his voice right straight out of work would make you jump.

“nice weather we’re having huh, cupcake?”

the worst kind would be being in somewhere completely normal like a grocery store and all of a sudden there’s an arm around your waist.

“god it’s so funny how we keep running into each other!”

it wasn’t.

you noticed the difference and could feel his presence everywhere you went.

and maybe you were just as psychotic as him because you liked it…

—

his jealousy would become more apparent which was weird for someone who claimed damn near every week “we’re just friends with sexual tension.”

you wanted to see if was as crazy as you or not so you planned a night to just to a bar.

simple plan.

wear a tight dress, show some skin, flirt with a man and see what happens.

you had a singular drink when a stranger came up to you, slyly putting on the charm and that was when you felt the eyes on you.

you subtly flirted back and right when he was about to answer, an arm was wrapped around your shoulder.

after that awkward mess, he took you to the back alley, being so impatient and started groping you against a wall.

your hands were against the wall, as he made you stick your ass out and he just groaned, looking at you hungry.

“wade what the fuck was tha-“

his hands delievered a hard smack to your ass making you moan. he didn’t say anything, instead pulled your dress up — the cold breeze hit your ass and the thong didn’t help a damn thing.

he scoffed and gave you another smack, “who are you dressing for like this? huh?”

you bit your lip and fought back another moan as he pressed himself against you. he was rock hard.

he thrusted and it had you against the wall even more. you moved your hands to be able to press your face against it than the hard concrete.

it looked like the plan was working perfectly and you were in there for a solid five minutes.

“dirty fucking girl- why are you already dripping?” he murmurs, and a moan escaped your lips.

he suddenly grunts in your ear, “did you want this to happen?”

you chuckled and shrugged, “I don’t know… did I?”

you grind yourself against him making him groan and pull back to watch. the tiny red fabric was covering nothing and was just a tiny obstacle.

“you’re a pain in my ass.” he groans before quicjly undoing his pants.

“you like it.” you tease and he groans.

“you do, and you just proved to me that this isn’t just a friends fucking situation.” you coo, turning your head to look at him.

his eyes narrow and you continue, “ugh we don’t have to play games Wade- I want you, you want me, no more bullshit please.”

instead of answering, he slips inside you and then thrusts in, “fuck!”

“I don’t wanna see you flirt with another man- ever.” he groans, making you whimper.

“never again baby.” you moan and he nods, instantly starting pounding into you.

his head was by your ear, purposely so he could say his profanities.

“so fucking tight-“

“as wet as always for me.”

you couldn’t control the noises that came out of you and the bad part was that it echoed.

it was late and surely people would be able to hear this. whether it was the unholy sounds of his thighs hitting your skin or your sopping wet pussy or worse, his dirty talk.

but that didn’t make you want to stop.

it had you even more feral and the idea of getting caught was so enticing, you let a few moans slip.

he reacted, “fuck baby that’s it.”

“Wade- fuck feels s-so-“ you whimpered and he started thrusting harder.

“feels so what baby? full? big? good?” he murmurs and you whimper yet again.

“atta fucking girl- let ‘em all hear you sweet girl.” he moaned, his hands coming up to grope your tits.

one hand went down to your stomach, holding you still but also pressing lightly. you moaned and he grinned, “that feel good baby? you like that?”

you nodded and your walls squeezed him as response. he groaned and then grinned, “fuck baby-“

“Baby- fuck please — just make me yours-“ you pleased, instantly drawing a groan from his throat.

“you wanna be mine?” he asks in your ear and you turn your head to look at him, eyes all fucked out already, “I do.”

“please- Wade j-just- fuck make me yours baby.” you pleaded, making him groan

“all fucking mine- only mine.” he grunts in your ear and you press your face against your hands again.

“just yours! only yours baby- fuck!” you whimpered and he pounded into you faster, rougher that your legs were almost giving out.

his right hand squeezed your breast hard and his left pressed onto your stomach, bringing you closer. “Fuck! Wade-“

“Good girl- keep taking my cock baby- it’s just for you-“ he murmurs, making you cry out, “oh my god!”

he grinned and pressed a kiss to your ear, “c’mon baby, I know you wanna cum.”

you nodded and your eyes fluttered, “I- I do- fuck I really do.”

the sounds were way louder than before and you didn’t care.

not when he was fucking you like never before. like he was proving something.

“make me yours Wade- please.” you whimpered, making him groan and somehow go even harder than before.

he held onto you tight and you were glad because you legs were almost giving out. “you want me to make you mine baby?” he asks in your ear and you quickly nod, “yes, fuck please-“

he groaned and his cock started to throb, aching for release, “be all mine?”

you cracked a faint smile and nodded, feeling tired beyond any words. he grinned and kissed your cheek, “my girl, my fucking girl-“

you moaned and nodded, “your girl-“

he groaned with one deep push, he came. you cried out and came with him, trying to escape but he kept you still.

he pumped you full and stopped himself from giving you more because you were already shaking. he kissed your cheek and held you tightly, not letting go.

you grind yourself against him, riding your high and in absolute bliss as he moans out, “holy fuck-“

“I’m so fucking obsessed with you.” he whispers in your ear, making your face burn instantly.

“that’s no new news.” you murmur, making him laugh, “yeah I’m not the shy type.”

“thank god I hate that.” you mumble and he laughs again.

you then snort, “took you long enough.”

he hums and nods, “well maybe a little shy…”

you rolled your eyes and shrug, “I thought it was perfect.”

“you’re perfect.” he coos before slipping out of you.

you shriek and attempt to fix your thong, “Wade it’s dripping-“

“yeah that thing isn’t gonna hold shit…” he snickers, trying to help you.

he fixed it as best as he could then pulled your dress down, “c’mon my car is around the corner, let’s do the small walk of shame.”

His hand is at work between your thighs, thick index finger slipped into your sensitive, puffy pussy.

It should gross you out that he loves doing this so much. It should make your stomach twist with all the unpleasant feelings a normal person might get.

It should, but it doesn't.

The familiar stretch is lost from taking Logan and Wade at the same time, a rare thing in your sex life because of how big they both are. But you were in a mood tonight.

Your pussy still clenches around him, trying in vain to tighten up, not used to feeling so empty.

The subtle pressure of Wade’s finger toes the line between pleasure and the sharp burn of 'almost too much' as it swirls along the sensitive walls of your pussy.

The first time he did it you were too fucked out of your mind to do anything other than ask what the hell he was doing.

"Gotta mix it up babe," was his reply, as easy as anything. "Don't want the baby batter to curdle, if you know what I mean."

Your heart stopped, flames lapping their way up your body as Wade scooped the thin line of come trickling from your abused hole to fuck it back in, back where it belonged.

It was so filthy, so depraved that it made you go liquid between your legs.

Your eyes almost immediately slid over to Logan, ready to see him shaking his head in irritation like he usually did whenever Wade ran his mouth in bed. You found nothing, no deep grimace or raised brow in sight.

There was an unmistakable heat in his gaze that matched your own, the inky black of his pupils blown so wide you could hardly see the hazel of his irises.

The casual raise of his right shoulder when he met your eye was undermined by the way his cock started to harden where it laid against his thigh, effectively tattling on him.

It told you all you needed to know about how he really felt watching Wade between your spread legs. That alone was enough to get you ready to go all over again.

It sort of became a thing after that.

"I'm not even doing anything..." you mumble breathlessly, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Don't have to baby," Logan purrs from behind you, lips pressed to the top of your head. His hand skimming down the side of your body is enough to make goosebumps pebble along your skin, "Look perfect just like this."

It's been hours now, but they're still going. You're convinced that the two of them are the world's biggest horndogs, just once is never enough.

You lost track of tonight's rounds sometime after number five, not counting mouth and hand stuff of course. And it's starting to catch up to you, you’re tired, spent.

Wade curls his finger just right, brushing against the spot inside you that has a broken whine passing through your grit teeth. Your thighs start to tremble as a smug grin spreads across his face.

"Yeah, there it is," he teases, his voice low. He keeps the tip of his finger snug against that spot, rubbing firm circles over the sensitive nerves. "That's that spot ain't it, gorgeous."

"Wade," you mewl, hands fisting the sheets as you fight to keep still. You're worried too much squirming will make their come start dripping out around Wade's wrist, and you can't have that.

There’s a sudden silence to your right, the heaviness of it pulling at your attention. You shift slightly, catching the faintest rustle of movement from Logan.

His breath is warm against the crown of your skill, his strong chest still plastered to your back—but he's too quiet, too still. You tilt your head just enough to peek at him out of the corner of your eye, and the sight alone is almost enough to make you come on the spot.

Logan is leaning against the headboard lazily, arm that isn't circled around your waist snaking down his own with the hard length of his cock in his hand.

Your mouth waters at the sight of him, red and leaking pre-come all over his knuckles each time he twists his fist over the thick head. Your hips grind down unconsciously, a needy moan falling from your parted lips. The wet sound of it has your cheeks burning, eyes fixed on the way his heavy balls bounce with each rough tug, still so full.

"Fuck, that's it," Wade murmurs, slipping a second finger inside you while he presses a shit-eating grin to the soft skin of your lower stomach. "You like it when daddy jerks off while I'm knuckle deep in you?"

"Watch it," Logan mutters warningly, tone gone low and dark as spilled ink. His hand doesn't slow, the loose grip of his fist slipping up and down his dripping cock in time with the slick squelch of your pussy.

Your hips buck up against Wade’s hand, a loud whine tearing from your chest at the dirtiness of this whole thing. The familiar heat starts to stir in your belly, your pussy drooling more mess over his wrist the longer he plays with you.

Wade barely muffles his chuckle against your hip, dropping a quick kiss there before pulling his soaked fingers from your velvety warmth. You whine at the loss, but he doesn’t pay it any mind.

You’ll both get what you want soon enough.

"Alright, we should all know the drill by now people," he announces to you and Logan with a loud clap, pulling away from between your thighs to roll flat onto his back.

“Time to hop on the saddle, John Wayne,” he finishes, giving your ass a loving tap.

Logan snorts into your hair, dropping his cock to grab your hips and gently manhandle you until you’re situated directly over Wade’s face while Logan kneels in front of you. The jut of his cock bobbing inches away from your mouth.

Wade’s greedy fingers pry your swollen lips apart to watch the way his and Logan’s come starts to seep out from you, falling to drip onto his bare chest. He blows over the wet length of you, the cool air from his mouth has your hips twitching down in search of any friction you can get.

“Not so fast,” he scolds lightly, grinding his knuckle against the wet seam of you. Your nails dig crescent moons into his scarred shoulders, threatening to break the skin.

“You’ve gotta savor this moment, hot stuff,” he says slowly, leaning up to press a kiss directly over your throbbing clit. “You got the best seat in the house, don’t take it for granted–”

"Enough," Logan grunts, heavy hands falling on your shoulders to push you down on Wade's face, fully closing the gap. "Quit runnin' your damn mouth and make our girl feel good, red."

Wade's hands tighten their hold on your thighs, his hips bucking up off the mattress like he can't help it. His surprised moan rumbles against your clit, loud and shameless.

You cry out at the first drag of his tongue over your aching pussy, hot and wet as it slides through your dripping slit. You pitch forward, too caught up in pleasure to think clearly as you take Logan’s cock into your mouth. You take him all the way down to the root in one swift move, burying your nose in the dark hair surrounding the base. 

"Fuck," Logan bites out, eyes twisting shut as he feels your warm throat enveloping him. He takes your hair in his fist gently, just holding it as you swallow around him. 

Your hands move to rest on his thick thighs, nails scratching over the hair scattered along his skin. His breath shutters in his chest, his hips rolling forward ever so slightly, chasing the tight heat of your mouth.

The mix of your tongue tracing along the sensitive vein on the underside of his cock and the low, wet sounds of Wade devouring you has him pulsing in your mouth.

Your thighs shake on either side of Wade's head, the steady grip of his hands the only thing that keeps you from collapsing into a boneless heap on the mattress.

Your hips twitch the tiniest bit, rocking forward enough to grind your clit over the slope of his nose. He groans under you, squeezing the meat of your thighs in encouragement as he swirls his tongue through the mess dripping from your hole.

“That’s a good girl,” Logan praises gruffly, his hips speeding up. “Shut him up, baby. Make him fuckin’ eat it.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, dragging your pussy along Wade’s mouth faster. You moan desperately around your mouthful, brain going hazy around the edges.

The frantic pace you set only makes their come leak from you faster, dripping down Wade’s face faster than he can keep up, and there's just so much.

A steady, thick stream of it that feels almost never ending thanks to Logan coming like he busted a pipe and absolutely flooding your insides every single time.

Wade doesn’t seem deterred in the slightest though, swirling his tongue along you with a new sense of urgency. His hands grip your hips tighter, his blunt nails digging into your skin deliciously as he slurps and sucks with unbridled enthusiasm, chasing every drop of come.

He’s sloppy with it, come sliding down his cheeks and chin in thin rivers of white.

Logan’s rough breath hitches above you, his fingers tightening in your hair as you take him deeper, hollowing your cheeks just the way he likes. His growl sends a thrill down your spine.

"C'mon, Wilson," Logan grunts, his hips speeding up. When you peer up at him, you can see the goading smile that just barely tugs the corner of his mouth up.

“Spitters are quitters, you know that."

『••✎••』

"And away we go..."

One neck crack and a couple of hip twists later, he was off like Aladdin and his fucktoy carpet, scaling the building similarly to a chameleon on LSD.

The only thing that was missing was some epic music.

He'd been chasing this baddie around the city for almost two days now. Some big-shot mob boss with ties to Hydra, or the Mafia, or the Yakuza, or some other three-letter-acronym organization. It was hard to keep track of them all at this point. They were all the same, except for the name.

They all had their own agenda.

Kill him, keep him prisoner, pay him off...

Wade never cared enough to listen because it was always the same. He just got hired to do the dirty work, and the pay was good.

The killing was better.

This one, however, was particularly good at eluding him. He'd been trying to get his hands on this man for a few days now. It wasn't as though he was trying to be stealthy or anything, either. He'd walked right up to his front door, knocked, and was greeted with a spray of machine gun bullets.

So, the usual.

But then the guy ran and didn't stop. It was like the fucking Roadrunner met Sonic the Hedgehog, and they decided to fuck around and find out.

Wade was getting real sick and tired of being a Roadrunner, too. He had a reputation to uphold. He wasn't known as the Merc with the Mouth for nothing. He was supposed to be the one doing the running and the killing.

Not the other way around.

Finally, finally, he managed to reach the roof where the guy was currently taking cover behind a small brick shack. The sun was rising, but it was still dark, and there were a couple of floodlights shining on the rooftop. It made him think of the night he'd had that heart-to-heart with Blind Al, even though all she really wanted was for him to bring her some of that special brownie mix.

What a night that had been.

But anyway, this monologue is starting to get too long, and we should probably move things along, eh?

Right.

So, the baddie.

His name was something long and non-English.

Salvatore, or Santino, or Salvation... Whatever the fuck it was, it didn't really matter. What mattered was that it was time to make him dead.

He stepped around the corner and was met with a spray of bullets, all of which lodged themselves into his Kevlar vest.

"Oh, come on!" he yelled over the sound of the gunfire. "This is real leather, you know. I'm tired of all the offscreen sewing and shit."

When the spray finally ended, he took a moment to catch his breath.

"…ow," he whispered to himself.

"You shouldn't have followed me here," the man said.

"Yeah, whatever," Deadpool replied. "Look, I'll make this easy for you. You drop down and give me fifty, and I'll let you keep that hideous mustache you're sporting."

The man's eyes widened in surprise.

"It's not that bad, is it?"

"Yes, yes it is," Deadpool assured him. "You got a squirrel living in it or something?"

"It's just a little bit of gray, you dick," the man argued. "What about you? What's with the mask? Are you hiding a mustache under there, too, or something? Maybe some acne scars?"

Deadpool shook his head and stepped forward, his guns drawn.

"Don't come any closer!"

"You know, this would be much more intimidating if you didn't look like a cartoon mouse."

"Stop it with the mustache!"

"Alright, alright," Deadpool said. "Enough with the mustache. But what is it about your hairline? I can't put my finger on it."

The man sighed in exasperation and pulled out his pistol, aiming it right at Deadpool's face.

"Hey now, don't point that at me," Deadpool scolded him. "That's not a very nice thing to do."

He ignored him and pulled the trigger, a loud boom ringing out as the bullet fired. It whizzed by him but missed its mark.

"You really are a dick," He grumbled before aiming his gun right between the man's eyes. And he was going to shoot, honest.

He really was.

But then his phone rang, and he was well-reminded of the current song playing through his head.

I'm a buff baby that can dance like a man. I can shake-ah my fanny, I can shake-ah my can!

Needless to say, he was distracted.

He lowered his gun and looked down at his pocket, where his phone was still ringing and still vibrating against his leg.

"Shit, hold that thought," He said to the guy, and he holstered his gun.

"Wh-what the hell are you doing?!"

Deadpool put his finger up to shush him before pulling his phone out of his pocket to answer it.

If you're an evil witch, I’ll punch you for fu—

"Heyyyy," he said in a sing-songy voice, "you've reached the phone sex hotline. For kinks and fetishes, press one. For booty calls, press two. For your favorite mercenary, press three."

"Ey, pendejo—" His opponent started, but he cut him off by snapping and raising his finger.

"Cut it, Tuco Salamanca. Breaking Bad called and wants its meth-cooking mustache back."

"Wha-I-you-"

"Anyways, this is your favorite merc speaking. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?"

"Is this a bad time?"

Wade's eyes widened in shock, and his jaw dropped open when he heard her voice on the other end of the line.

"Baby girl! Is that you? Oh, how I've missed your voice. It's like hearing an angel, or an angelic chorus, or a whole bunch of angels, but you're the most important one. Like, the lead singer or something."

"I literally saw you last night." Your voice was always drenched with the most amazing kind of sarcasm, and he'd missed it.

"And?"

"It's only been a few hours."

"And?"

"That's a short amount of time."

"And?"

You sighed, but he knew you weren't really annoyed.

"Anyways, you sounded busy," you continued, "so I'll just let you go."

"What?! No! Don't hang up!" He shouted into the receiver. "I've only fiddled with my pistols! Nothing interesting is happening right now!"

"Your pistols, huh?" You asked a hint of mischief in your voice.

"Well, yeah. They're the most important part of the mission, you know."

In the corner of his eye, he could see his target making his way towards the edge of the building. Quickly and efficiently, without dropping his attention from his conversation with you, he lifted his gun and fired a shot at the man's knee.

"Ah, fuck!" the man screamed in pain. "My knee!"

"Hey! Language!" Deadpool scolded him. "The lady of the house is listening!"

"Lady of the- what the fuck?!"

"I said language, you mustachioed rat!"

"Mustachioed rat?" You asked.

"Sorry, babe," he replied. "You know how excited I get when Downtown Abbey is on."

“There’s gunshots in Downtown Abbey?"

"Gunshots? Oh, no, no. That was… uh, a car alarm. Yeah, the neighbor's car alarm was going off."

"Uh-huh," you said, not sounding very convinced. And, of course, that was right around the time the guy's gun went off again, this time hitting him square in the shoulder. It made the phone fall out of his hand and clatter onto the ground, but the call was still connected.

"Dammit!" He yelled, looking at the fresh blood dripping down his arm. "That's gonna take forever to heal!"

"Who are you talking to?" The man demanded, his gun still aimed at Deadpool's face. "You're working with someone?"

"Hey, now, I don't remember giving you permission to talk," Deadpool told him, holding his bloody arm up to his face. "Look, I've gotta call you back, babe. I know it's been so heartbreakingly long—"

"Again, only a few hours," you said.

"—but duty calls. Love you, bye."

"Love you, bye."

With that, the line disconnected.

"Ugh," he groaned, his heart aching for the loss of your sweet voice. "I miss her already."

"Ey," his opponent growled, drawing his attention. He started speaking in rapid-fire Spanish, which Deadpool didn't really understand, but he didn't have to. The guy was just ranting and raving.

"Alright, alright, chill," Deadpool said. "Just calm down. It’ll all be over soon, little buddy."

"I am not little! I am a giant!" The guy protested, and Wade could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. "And I will not chill!"

"Well, can't argue with that, I guess," Deadpool said with a shrug, and he took aim. But before he could pull the trigger, the guy was running again.

"Hey, what did I tell you about running?!" He yelled, but his voice fell on deaf ears as the guy reached the ledge.

"I am a giant!"

"No, you're a giant asshat!"

"I will not be bested by some masked buffoon!"

"Buff? Me? Why, I never!"

"You're the biggest asshole I've ever met!"

"You know what? I am a big ass! A big, round, bubbly ass." He paused for a second. "Hey, what's your favorite flavor?"

"Fuck you, you red-clad imbecile!"

"You know, I'd ask you out to dinner first, but we're kinda past that now."

"Argh!"

"Alright, enough stalling," Deadpool said. "It's time to end this."

"Yes," the guy said, turning his gun back on Deadpool. "It is."

Of course, Deadpool being the smart-ass he was, he'd already taken a step to the side. As the bullet whizzed past him, he reached for his gun.

"Now, where did I put that thing? Oh, there it is."

He aimed the gun and fired, and the man fell back onto the ground. The bullet hit him right in the middle of his forehead, his blood splattering all over the concrete.

"Ha ha! Fatality. Deadpool wins!" He said, his voice taking on the deep, grounded tone of the narrator from Mortal Kombat. "Flawless Victory."

He stood over the body for a few seconds, reveling in his victory, before he felt the presence of another.

The gun on his right side got ripped from its holster, and the barrel was aimed back into his face, as it always seems to be.

But, he already sensed it was coming, so his fingers wrapped around his other and aimed that right in the golden spot… and let’s just say, The Golden Girls was a little less golden and a lot more crimson.

"Wow, this has got to be a record," He said as he bent down to stare at the new one’s anguish. "Two dead ugly mustaches in the same day. You can call me Sweeney Todd because shit… I just shaved you the fuck up."

He didn’t give the poor bastard a chance to even whimper before he fired another two shots into the man's head. All in all, this had been the easiest payday he'd had in a while.

He picked up his cell phone and slipped it back into its pocket before bending down and scooping up the mustache man's pistol.

"Ooh, lookie here, a nice, shiny new pistol," he said to himself. "Just what I've always wanted. Well, I don't actually need it. It's not like I have any other holes in my body, but you know what they say. The more the merrier."

He stuffed the gun in his holster and turned around, heading back the way he'd come.

"Time to get back to the good stuff," he said. "I have a date with my favorite girl."

He hopped up onto the ledge and looked down, his eyes locking on the window to his apartment.

And when he arrived, bloody and battered, you could only smile while holding up little ole Mary Puppins in all her drooling glory.

"Fuck no baby, your cock is perfect, but it would just be more perfect inside of me. And both of you know I love a bit of pain in my play, it's why you both love to fuck me." He tries to wriggle again, but yet again Logan's grip holds firm. So instead he clenches, making Logan draw in a sharp breath, and you jab your fingers in just that little bit harder.

"Needy." You and Logan tease in unison, making Wade groan again.

"Yes, yes, yes, I'm your needy little whore. Now please, get your fucking cock inside me too."

"That's all I needed to hear baby." You pull your fingers out, grabbing the lube bottle to spread some over your aching cock. You've been leaking pre for a good while, but had been ignoring it in favor of making Wade (and by extension Logan) feel good, and opening him up.

"Really? What the fuck?" You grab your cock, lining yourself up against Logan, your thumb pulling Wade's hole open for you.

"You just sound so pretty when you beg." You kiss the back of his neck as you start to sink inside. Wade lets out a whimper, Logan moans out a low 'Fuck' as you fill Wade up with him. His cock is warm and throbbing next to yours, and the space inside Wade is tight. You know you won't last long, part of the idea of taking your time with opening Wade up. Logan is probably in the same boat, you see his fingers flex against Wade's hips as you settle fully sheathed inside of Wade.

"Good?" You ask as you kiss the junction between Wade's neck and shoulder.

"Yeah. And when you're not about to bust, you can fucking move." Chuckling, you grab him just above Logan's hands, squeezing. You pull back just the tiniest of amounts, then slide back in.

"Tease." Wade mutters, but then he can't say much more as Logan kisses him, and starts to move too. Well, he doesn't move as much as he just moves Wade, lifting him up, and then sinking him back down on your cocks. You moan against Wade's shoulder, biting down lightly on the skin there.

"Feels so good baby." You mutter against him, hearing the muffled whine that Wade lets slip into Logan's mouth. Who is still moving him up and down like he weighs nothing.

"Not the time to bust out my praise kink." Wade breaks the kiss to say, moaning as Logan moves his mouth down to his neck instead.

"No?"

"I'm about to bust like the Niagara falls after being dammed up for maintenance, I need the two of you to fill me up first, fucking flood me." You move back just a bit so you can catch Logan's eyes, his head tilted to the side as he mouths over Wade's neck.

"That so?" You ask as you grin at Logan, who you can tell returns it by the way the corners of his eyes crinkle.

"Why do I suddenly feel like I signed a dodgy contract with a porn studio?" Neither you or Logan answer him. Logan stops moving Wade up and down, instead holding him up, making him hover over his lap. And then he starts to fuck up into Wade. Who moans loudly, then curses when you join in, pulling back when Logan thrusts in, thrusting in when Logan pulls back. One of Wade's arms scrambles back to grab onto your shoulder, making you grunt.

"Pretty boy, just made to take it." Logan groans against the front of his throat. His voice is rough, loaded with dirty promises. It makes pleasure pool low in you, and Wade must be much the same as he moans.

"Not the fucking praise kink." He half protests.

"Feel so good baby, so fucking tight, and hot." You mutter, thrusting into him faster, the slap of skin on skin constantly filling the room now.

"Fuck." Wade whimpers out, biting his lip closing his eyes as he lets you and Logan fill him up with your cocks over and over again. You can feel yourself getting closer, your balls drawing up, getting ready to fill Wade up. You guess Logan is in much the same boat as you catch each other's eyes over Wade's shoulder, and he nods. You move one of your hands off Wade to grab Logan's hair, and pull him into a kiss. 

He lets out a low noise that’s somewhere between a moan and a rumble, which alongside a strong hand squeezing your hip sends you over the edge. You cum, starting to fill Wade up. He groans, squeezing around you, and you groan in return as you feel Logan starts to fill him up too. You keep fucking into him as long as you can, the wet noise filling the room obscene.

When you pull out of him, your cock is soft. Logan's is the same, falling out of Wade as Logan makes him rise up, but Logan keeps him kneeling over him.

"Fuck, I'm more stuffed than a Thanksgiving Turkey." Wade mutters, making Logan snort, then look down between his legs. You do the same, spotting your shared cum leaking out of his hole. And that just won't do quite yet. So you move a hand down, slipping three fingers inside. He's wet as you fuck your fingers out of him a few time, delighting in the choked-off noise you get in return.

"Just how you should be, huh, our pretty boy?" You plaster yourself against his back again, grinning down at Logan as he takes Wade's leaking cock in hand.

"Fucking hell, the two of you will be cause one of many deaths. One of my hotter ones to be fair." Wade pants out.

"It's what our good boy deserves." Logan mutters out before pulling Wade into a kiss. He moans against his lips as you keep fucking him with your fingers, and Logan jerks him off. He can't seem to decide to focus on whether to fuck down on your fingers, or to buck up into Logan's hands, so the two of you set the tempo for him, making him moan and groan and whimper for you.

It takes maybe two minutes before he comes, spilling over Logan's fist and clenching around your fingers. He shakes apart under the shared attention of your hands, his own hands gripping the both of you hard. You keep fucking and stroking him through it, only stopping when his cock stops spurting over Logan and himself.

"10/10, would get filled again." Wade mutters, sinking down to sit fully on Logan's thighs. Logan rolls his eyes at him, but gives him a soft kiss. You mirror him, twisting Wade's head just enough so you can kiss him without moving out from behind him.