An interesting fact I’ve come across is that the word ‘incubus’ (typically thought of as male sexual demons) actually comes from the Latin for ‘lying above’, and ‘succubus’(their stereo-typically female counterparts) is derived from ‘lying beneath’. So these terms are actually only ‘gendered’ in the realm of traditional gender roles, and these spirits seem to be classed more for their submission/ domination roles. However, from personal experience, I know that there are at least some inc/succubi don’t like the gendered assumptions that come with these words. 

To my knowledge, a lot of spirits don’t generally have use for reproductive parts, and don’t really distinguish themselves by gender as we do. Of course, for our convenience, they may choose a certain set of pronouns (or not), or take the appearance of a certain gender (or not). So, theoretically, this means they could switch up which gender they present as at will, or just default to having no gender at all.

And, lastly, the spirit intimacy bit. I’ve only read about this (my main source for all this information by the way is Familiar Spirits by Donald Tyson, which contains background information on sexual relations with spirits. It isn’t the main focus of the book and I’m not sure how reliable the information is, but it’s the most in depth description of intimate relations with spirits I’ve ever found), but I can relay what I do know. One given theory for spirits’ interest in intimacy with humans is that there is a layer of spiritual pleasure or fulfillment above the physical pleasure, which humans are usually too preoccupied to notice. Which explains why erotic encounters with spirits is “prolonged, and often does not involve physical climax”. It is also mentioned that, during this contact, the focus of the spirit is not usually on the genitals - which further shows that the spirits themselves are not concerned with reproductive parts, and thus our species concept of gender. 

Basically, if spirits want to seduce humans, it is most likely for the pleasure they gain from sexual contact. And such spirits probably would not want to kill/ take the souls of the humans they seduce for the same reason that they would want to hold off the human’s physical climax during intimacy: because then the spirit’s pleasurable experience would end.

You can recharge and activate a sigil as many times as you like, anon.

I think the best advice I can give is that shame is not a productive emotion to dwell on. You can’t go back and change what you did or didn’t do in the past, but you can resume your journey at any time you choose. It isn’t at all uncommon to have periods where you fall out of practice - life happens :)

In my experience, anon, nothing is ‘too mundane’. I actually think that letter writing in some form or another is part of several traditions. In Kemetic tradition, for example, there is a custom that involves writing letters to our ancestors. And from what little I know from Japanese culture, there seems to be a similar tradition involving leaving written petitions at shrines.

Of course! 

~Automatic writing 

Give it some time, is all I can think of. Set a trial period of a few months maybe, and see how you feel after this time. Try not to judge things too hard during this time, just ‘go with the flow’, as it were :) 

> Smudge

Check out the “conversion” tag to see what other people with similar difficulties have asked.  There’s also a board with the tongue-in-cheek title “recovering monotheist” on the polytheist forum.

I would also recommend familiarizing yourself with the warning signs of cults.  Our Resource blog’s page for paganism includes a section on this under “Abuse in the Pagan Community,” which should help you differentiate between I’m uncomfortable because this is new to me and I’m in danger.

I believe this ask has some information on that. :)

Unfortunately, because you are a minor, we cannot endorse practicing without parental permission. Having said that, you can always get a head start with researching and learning theory and history of the craft. 

I’m afraid I don’t know what words you want in particular… but I guess the best thing to say is that your time will come, and the best thing you can do right now is to prepare for it.

> Smudge

There is no need to rush or deadline to meet.  Paganism isn’t going anywhere and you won’t miss out.

Gods and ancestors are generally pretty understanding of your limitations - and if they aren’t, then they’re probably not the kind of entities you want to be dealing with anyway.

Think of this as a time to get to know your self, first and foremost, and lay the groundwork for future paths.  Who are you?  What are your priorities?  What’s important to you?  What kind of person do you want to be and how are you going to start making that happen?

There will always be more experienced practitioners and there will always be less experienced ones.  There’s no race or competition, everyone has been a newbie at one point or another, and no one knows everything.

We can’t endorse your practicing, as Smudge said (see this post), but we also can’t stop you from reading our resources.

You’re not alone.

You might try taking a look at the “conversion” and “broom cupboard” tags.