#dcrothea

NINE out of TEN, she’s the only one actually trying.

“ allow me to be honest with you for a second, and don’t credit this to the seven shots i just took, but you’re hot. like, obviously there are a lot of hot girls in l.a., and most of them figure out how to get into my bed one way or another, but you and i don’t really mess around the way we should, y’know? this is my rendition of usher’s confessions album, and i’m just now realizing how goddamn creepy this voicemail is. might as well be licking my lips just a little too often on a greyhound bus. never mind, i do credit it to the seven shots i just took, but you’re still hot. stay golden. don’t call the police. i’m gonna go down a bottle of ipecac and hope my head doesn’t feel like cement during construction work in the morning. g’night, forget i sent this. ”

“ oh s-shit, did i just call you ? hello, is anyone there ? fuck, this is voicemail, isn’t it ? i don’t really know why i keep answering you questions and expecting you to ask them –- or, i mean, asking you question ‘nd expecting you to answer them. there we go, second time’s a charm. wait, what was i saying again ? i honestly just pulled out my phone because i was in no mood to deal with the sleazy bartender tonight. i’ve been spending a hell of a time in this bar lately. shit, am i developing an addiction ? probably... or not. i don’t really know. alright well, it was nice talking to you, whoever this is. ”