the most comphet thing that charles does in episode 5 isn’t even when he’s like “nah they’re just mates” or him projecting onto hunter and brad because they’re manly men and he wants them to be Good Guys bla bla bla none of that.
no, the most comphet thing in this episode is that charles rowland, light of my life, owner of my heart, saw these two scruffy scrappy stinky burly fuckboy jocks and then looked at himself, this genderfuck punk twink with the prettiest most delicate features i’ve ever seen and eyeliner and earrings and bisexual ass jacket, and edwin payne, the most clockable homosexual that has ever lived or died, the quintessential twink, with his stupid little gay bowtie and gloves and fancy jacket and button up shirt and little gay posh voice and the cunty feminine way he walks and gestures and edwardian vocabulary and syntax and everything about him and said, “they’re just like us, right edwin?” babygirl you are so delusional.
rip hunter and brad you would’ve loved being involved in both edwin’s and charles’s hate crimes </3
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what—and i cannot stress this enough—EVERRRRRRRRRRR :(
[Video Description:// A compilation of clips from three different Dan and Phil videos. Closed captions appear at the bottom of the screen throughout.
The first is from a video of them reacting to episode two of Heated Rivalry. They are sitting on a couch with a blanket on their laps. At the bottom of the screen is a super imposed video that shows what they are reacting to. A character on screen—Shane—wears a tan fleece with a red patch on the sleeve.
The second clip is from a video of them reacting to episode three of Heated Rivalry. They are in the same setup as the previous clip, but wearing different clothing. Two characters are on screen—Kip and Elena. Elena is wearing an orange and purple striped coat.
The third and fourth clips are from Phil‘s birthday live stream. Dan and Phil sit in their office. At the end of the third clip, Phil gets up and leaves the room to find his jacket. In the fourth and final clip, Phil returns wearing a blue fleece with clouds on it. There is red lining the collar and orange, red, yellow, and green buttons. There is also a red pocket with a vertical zipper. //End VD.]
[TRANSCRIPT]
Clip 1:
P: I want that Canadian fleece! We’ve just…
D: I’ve got a nice Seattle fleece.
P: I’ve been steal-
D: Why are you pausing it for a fleece?
P: I’ve been stealing Dan’s fleece ‘cause I’ve realised I’ve only got massive coats and thin jackets. I need a medium fleece for my birthday.
Clip 2:
P: Yeah. I like her coat. I would like a warm coat that’s not too thick. (laughs)
D: I have- I- I haven’t gotten you a jacket for your birthday.
P: Can I have one?
Clip 3:
P: This is a spoiler, so I’m not gonna read the question. “Did Dan get Phil a… nice present that he was hinting at a lot?”
D: I said I wasn’t gonna.
P: However, you like me, don’t you? So he did! Shall I get it?
D: You know you want to show them!
P: I’m gonna get- I’m gonna show it off! I’m gonna show off my gift.
Clip 4:
D: Oh my god, I was wheeling the chair back so-
P: Look at this! How cool is this jacket? Thank you, Dan.
D: I w- Yeah. Sure.
P: I love it. I love it! I feel like-
D: You better. Fucking hell.
P: -the ins-
D: I already got him, uh, three things and then he was like, “I want a fleece.”
P: “I want a fleece.” It’s perfect! I feel like being inside isn’t doing it justice. When I was outside the other day, walking past a tree—the other day being yesterday, which is when I got this present—I looked very whimsical outside.
D: Like a sky gnome.
P: People really like it. Thank you! I- I love it!
it means so much to me that the night nurse, who never showed empathy or compassion all the other times they begged to be left alone, who spent the entire season hunting them down, really looked into charles’s head and saw how he and edwin met and said “you know what? gay love is so beautiful 🥹🥹🥹 go to save your boyfriend, ya little rascal 🥰”
cute first date idea: you escape hell and bring me a lantern and i ask you questions about being a ghost and then you read to me as i slowly die of hypothermia and internal bleeding i sustained from getting hatecrimed 💕
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i’m really hoping people haven’t given up on dead boy detectives because i still have it playing pretty much on repeat on my computer every single day trying to up the views (i just leave it playing as i go about my day) and i certainly can’t do that alone
i think about charles rowland so often. so many times a day. it’s not even funny. he’s just always in there like “hey, it’s me, the traumatised bisexual half indian punk genderfuck from the 80s with adhd and daddy issues who thinks he has to be happy and upbeat and positive for everyone to keep the people around him going but in reality he’s scared that he’s a terrible person because he gets angry sometimes. also i’m in love with my best friend who has the most extreme case of autism rizz you’ve ever seen literally everyone wants to fuck him. and i use 80s urban london slang even though i clearly came from a wealthy family because my parents could afford to send me to a fancy posh boarding school, so i’m always saying shit like ‘brills’, ‘ace’, ‘mate’, ‘innit’, ‘oi!’ and ending every sentence with ‘yeah?’ oh and if you’ve ever been mean to me i probably have a crush on you. if you’re mean to someone else though i will end you i don’t fuck with bullies. i’m always swinging around my cricket bat threateningly as if i don’t have a full ass sword in my magic bag that is actually a pocket dimension that only i can navigate. i have never once known what was going on ever in my life, i’m just happy to be here. i cannot articulate any feeling ever but that won’t stop me from whipping out the most romantic shit you’ve ever heard completely on the spot. i need everybody all day long to like me so much. oh and i gave up eternal peace to follow some edwardian twink around and give him a goofy grin every time he says or does anything and hand him shit. i may or may not be colour blind because i don’t know the difference between red and blue. btw i died because of a hatecrime but i’m fine.” and i’m like my beautiful babygirl i love you but i’m literally in a grad school interview right now
