#daysixtyseven

I slept for long enough, but still felt like crap when I woke up.

I ran out of breakfast items two days ago, so I bumped into C en route to work and bought some pastries at a nearby bakery.

We went on the school field trip an hour after that. I didn’t expect much, but I actually had a great time! I barely had to take out any snacks because my third graders kept giving me snacks from their portions till my belly felt like bursting.

Sure, I had to help with chaperoning; but I actually got to go on some of the rides with my students. My fifth grade boys figuratively held my hand during a babyish mini-roller coaster which still got my heart pounding in a big way.

But after all the rides made my heart jump out of my chest with primordial terror, the adrenaline kicked in and I actually felt amazing after that. Who knew that a healthy dose of fear would actually make me feel better about things. If we’d had more time at the amusement park, I would’ve gone on more rides.

I was a little sleepy on the bus, but some of my fifth and third graders begged me to play with them because they were bored. So we played ‘Rock Paper Scissors’ for 15 minutes before the bus arrived at school.

I didn’t know it earlier, but bonding with my students and even walking hand in hand with one of the third graders was exactly what I needed today. I needed to be reminded of all the reasons why I became a teacher in the first place. Seeing these beautiful children taking care of me and cheering me up at every turn, it made me realize how lucky I am. I wasted so many years looking for love and acceptance in all the wrong places. As it turned out, I’ve always had it all around me, like when I’m at work with my mini monsters.

After work, C, AS and I went to eat pizza for dinner and laughed at dumb YouTube videos while eating, which was hella fun. But I had to rush home for my online session with my therapist, only to realise that I got the time differences wrong. Or my therapist got it wrong, I don’t even know anymore.

So that was a bummer, I was really looking forward to having a good whine about things.

Oh well.

Hopefully we can re-schedule for a time that’s really soon.

I cheered myself up by trying on my Super Mario costume again, but with my new Jon Snow GOT wig. It’s dorky in all the right ways - I loved it! Then I spammed my friends and family with videos and pics of me doing Super Mario impressions to make them laugh.

I like making people laugh. It makes me feel like the world becomes a little brighter and happier when people release all of their tension and unhappiness by laughing.

At least, that’s how I feel when I laugh.

I don’t know how long this euphoria will last for, but it was a pretty good day. Tomorrow, I’m off to Shanghai with C and AS to eat some barbeque.

I hope I find time to rest in-between.