#dayisschott

Ode to the Pube #DayIsSchott #CGHMP #amwriting #lifegoeson

“A-HA” moments spring upon us at any time, in any place.  I like to imagine a quiet, natural setting for my revelations.  Maybe a few birds twittering; maybe in that periwinkle time between night and day when everything cools and calms.  As most of us know, we can’t choose the time and place of our deepening awareness.  I cannot change the fact or ensuing humiliation of my “A-HA” moment while…

The Dog Poop Scoop #DayIsSchott #amwriting #dogpoop #pickitup

  ALERT: There is no poop fairy!!  Have you seen the poop pick up bags provided by parks and recreation and HOA’s all over the city?  It’s no longer necessary to arm yourself with used grocery bags meant as poop scoopers when you leave the house with your dog.  Despite the upgraded convenience of this new provision, many people still leave their dog’s poop on the ground for all to see. Thank…

Shark Tank - Make Enough Money to Act Like an Asshole #OpedEd #DayIsSchott

           So I’m at the gym enjoying the rowing machine.  Shark Tank is on and I’m drawn to the show, squinting at the closed captioned dialogue.  I’m interested in the inventions but more fascinated by the sharks.  They are a bunch of assholes who think money makes them somehow better or smarter.              I don’t know the professional background of any of the sharks outside of Mark Cuban. …

The Power of a Booger #DayIsSchott #amwriting #authorhumor

My mom took me and one sister to Disneyland thirty years ago.  That was the last time we all vacated together until February of this year. We all met in Carlsbad, California, one of my favorite places on earth (and I know it will be no matter how many places I see).  Note: Disneyland is another favorite – I don’t get to very many places.  The trip was a nice break from real life for all of us. …

#BookReview "Summer Sisters" by Judy Blume A wonderful story of women friendships

If you are of a certain age you probably grew up reading Judy Blume’s stories.  Tiger Eyes, Super Fudge, Tales of the Fourth Grade Nothing, Are you there God, it’s me, Margaret…. the list goes on.  I think I read most of them in my adolescence and early teen years.  I enjoyed them. I was pleased to find Summer Sisters in the adult section at the library.  I read the first few pages, in disbelief…

Thermography Over Mammography #Health #WomensHealth #Cancer #BreastCancer

I enjoyed my first mammogram about two years ago.  I had never experienced such an odd, awkward, sadistic and outdated medical procedure in my life.  But since I became a woman of a certain age, it was time to partake.  If only I could partake daily. It’s always weird to undress and put on one of those fancy patterned hospital gowns.  This one opened in the front.  As I entered the XRAY room, the…

Empathy is Innate, Politics Suck #DayIsSchott #AmWriting #ElectionYear

“Like wow man, can you relate?” Weird Al Yankovic asked this in his song “I’ll be mellow when I’m dead.”  The answer is: you are able to relate but most don’t. Apparently and according to most recent research, empathy is a quality innate to most humans (I assume sociopath are excluded).  I find this interesting based on how our society works and the fact that Donald Trump has followers.  Mirror…

From Within a #Seizure #DayIsSchott #amwriting

I’m usually dreaming.  Most times my body is dehydrated and worn out from too much running or too much hiking or too much in general. I feel the tug.  Whatever happens in my brain, whatever neuron misfires, whatever electric current shorts, begins with a tug.  Sometimes I fight for consciousness.  This is a hellish struggle.  I strain to open my eyes from my dream turned convulsion.  When I beat…