its really crazy how fast things can change. terrifying even. The people who you consider to be "the ones you've been waiting for" can suddenly feel like strangers. as i change, so do they. How you can feel secure in your relationships and they feel easeful and calm to then suddenly feel groundless and panick-y.

I'm not someone who has historically had many friends or connections. I have always felt alone and like a freak. As I come into the person I want to be (the past 3-5 years), i'm faced with the difficulties of the missing puzzle pieces from throughout my life. I'm faced with many insecurities and it feels unbearable sometimes and I haven't even really scratched the surface.

I'm navigating a seemingly endless amount of unexplored territory. I really really really like who I am becoming.

my best friend of almost two years (who dated my girlfriend and they've known each other for 5 years and are getting .... married?) and i have been having a pretty large shift in our relationship and I have been having an extremely difficult time navigating this along with the dynamic of my *first ever* friend group of more than 3 people. i'm sure more details will follow as time goes on but this is the general gist of what's happening.

Which

One ?