#dayeighty

I managed to get a cold in under 24 hours. That’s a new record for super bacteria in Asia.

Then again, the BPI Index has been off the charts in the last week in my city, so it makes sense why I got sick. Plus, I haven’t been eating as well as I should’ve lately, so lack of proper sustenance and nutrition played its part too.

It felt like I did everything in slow motion from showering and getting dressed this morning. I almost forewent dressing up for Halloween at work. But it would’ve been a waste of 100 RMB I spent on my Super Mario costume and Jon Snow circa season 1 wig, so I womanned up and put on my clothes.

I had a near meltdown when I briefly misplaced my fake moustache, but I found it lying on the bathroom mat 40 minutes later, haha.

It was both chilled and busy at work today. I predominantly had to help my students take Halloween pictures and give out candy to my students as well as the Kindergardeners. They really were too adorable in their Halloween costumes and chanting ‘Trick or Treat’.

Then me and CI had a combined double lesson with our fifth graders and ended up watching ‘Shazam’ since I hadn’t found time to look for a proper Halloween movie.

Still, I battled from 08:20 to 16:20 with a runny nose and a pounding headache. So I asked H early in the day if I could use one of my annual sick days tomorrow since we might not have English class all day. Hopefully H doesn’t pull a fast one and tell me I have to come to work at the last second.

I get three annual sick days a year and this is the first time I’m actually using one of my days since I started working at this school 2 years ago. And I’ve been sick plenty of times during that time and never missed a day or asked any of my colleagues to cover my classes, even when I had doctor’s appointments.

I haven’t done a lot of things just for myself lately, so maybe it’s time to try.

I still think of X on and off throughout the day, but everything to do with her feels muted and distant somehow. My therapist put things into perspective on Tuesday evening. The person I thought I was dating and in love with for 3 years just didn’t match up with who X really is.

Maybe I’ll never know the whole truth of why X did what she did. Maybe I’ll never know if I was the only one she did this shady shit to. But I’m done with torturing myself and blaming myself for our break-up.

I deleted our conversations on Facebook Messenger and took the app off my phone. It doesn’t serve a purpose anymore since I predominantly used it to talk to X. Now I just need to move X’s pictures off my phone and onto my laptop and delete her Skype contact and our conversations there.

I booked my flight home, so there goes a shit ton of cash for the month. Oh well, money comes and goes, it’s the circle of life.

I’m gonna try and get some rest now. My throat is so parched, I should probably drink something and maybe nibble on some food too.

I hope I can rest properly tomorrow and go see a doctor.