#day1over

I woke up today. It was hard. But i woke up. 

And no the heart didnt feel any lighter, and no my face wasnt clearer, the aftermath of tears were still reflected on my eyelids. Its funny when you open up your eyes and all you feel are tears that were left over from lastnight. Just sitting there. Awaiting to come down again.

Then the anger starts up again

the resentment

 regret.

And you feel like ripping your skin off just so he can see you new again.

But its okay coz i reminded myself that I woke up. I woke up and thats something worth to be thankful for. 

He looks at me with piercing eyes of love. He’d stop his whole world just to make sure mine was okay. He’d lie in front of me naked with vulnerability ready to destroy himself in order to lift me up. His hands would enclose my whole body careful enough to not crack the insides of my flaws but strong enough to tell me they were okay. 

The only problem with this is, 

I was never carrying him. 

I was to weak into my flaws that I left him building our empire by himself. 

But its okay.

I woke up.

And i guess thats where its all going to start. 

The first step into self loving is waking up and being able to feel those feelings.